Should I go to my ex-coworker's memorial tonight?
September 25, 2013 11:34 AM Subscribe
Should I go to my ex-coworker's memorial tonight? He committed suicide a few weeks ago. I kind of don't want to go because I'm more pissed off than I am sad.
posted by 2or3whiskeysodas to Human Relations (89 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
We weren't terribly close, but we were friends, and we worked together daily for almost 10 years. He wasn't the most chipper guy in the world, but no one–no one–in his large circle of friends and family had any idea that he was thinking about offing himself. The lens I'm seeing things through today is like this: if depression is a disease, this is a person with a terminal cancondition who knowingly didn't do anything about it, refused to seek treatment, and kept it a secret from the people closest to him until it finally, unexpectedly (to us) killed him.
I don't want to go to his memorial. I want to go home, sit zazen and spend time with my kids. But I know that my feelings and view will probably change down the road, and I don't want to regret not going.
I have no experience with suicide and little with funerals in general. What should I do?