Pretty sure I need a doctor, no idea which one.
August 8, 2015 8:45 PM Subscribe
I have a bunch of stuff going on, some of it is anxiety related, but it's manifesting in, to be short about it, me being fat, and as per usual, medical interactions are not positive and I don't even know what sort of doctor to try to find, much less talk to. Predictably, more inside. Predictably, wall of text, also.
I have just recently sort of put all this together, which maybe at 36 is late but whatever.
36, F, Straight, Employed and Insured. Major city with major hospitals, good access to basically everything.
Last year at my GYN visit, I was probably working out more regularly than I had ever been in my life, and while I wasn't at my lowest weight, I was also not at my highest (5'0" and highest weight ever probably 175, then about 150). At that appointment, she said (paraphrase) "You've been this weight for a while and you're technically obese and you need to lose weight." This pretty much destroyed me, since I was more hoping for "Hey good job you're working out consistently, let's talk about something else that you can do that will be productive." Or, ideally really, don't say anything? I don't know. I love this GYN and I've recommended her to a ton of people. This got me out of left field and I just kind of let it happen and then left.
Flash forward, I had a medical event 5 months after this visit, which wrecked both my workout regime and the weight I'd lost in that time period (about 12 lbs). I'm due for another visit and I've put it off, and I realize it's because of that shaming episode. I don't want to go back to her heavier than I was last year and with the lame ass excuse that now almost a year later I had a (mild but limiting) accident.
I have also realized the following things about myself:
1) I have a lot of anxiety about people "knowing" I am dieting or thinking that I am not self-confident. It's as if I think I'm going to be picked off as a weak member of the herd.
2) I am not good at being able to tell when I've had enough to eat (often realize I've over-eaten very belatedly).
3) I punish myself by denying myself things because I'm not supposed tobe happy unless I'm thinner. Which feels exactly as disordered as it looks!
4) I avoid situations like the one with my doctor where someone in authority can point out to me how I've failed.
I started running again recently, but I'm easily at my heaviest "acceptable to me" weight. I'm at the "never again" mark (again) and I just want to stop existing or something simpler than going back on a diet and trying to lose weight. Again, I realize how incredibly disordered this is and sounds. I have done things that are a lot harder than lose weight,like, by orders of thousands. Those things just didn't involve self-hate, so you know, simpler.
I want to get help, but I'm terrified of going to a regular doctor, because I will actually lose my mind if one more person chirps at me that it's "just" calories in and calories out. I've taken Celexa for anx/depression once before and NO THANKS. I didn't like it, I felt completely bizarre.
I guess I just need to know where to start, and what to say or do to get someone to help me. I appear to be very functional, and I have previously been told that since I can self-identify all this that I will be fine, but I am not fine. I am slowly killing myself, and while being dead would indeed stop all this from bothering me, it's not really the option I'm interested in.
I have just recently sort of put all this together, which maybe at 36 is late but whatever.
36, F, Straight, Employed and Insured. Major city with major hospitals, good access to basically everything.
Last year at my GYN visit, I was probably working out more regularly than I had ever been in my life, and while I wasn't at my lowest weight, I was also not at my highest (5'0" and highest weight ever probably 175, then about 150). At that appointment, she said (paraphrase) "You've been this weight for a while and you're technically obese and you need to lose weight." This pretty much destroyed me, since I was more hoping for "Hey good job you're working out consistently, let's talk about something else that you can do that will be productive." Or, ideally really, don't say anything? I don't know. I love this GYN and I've recommended her to a ton of people. This got me out of left field and I just kind of let it happen and then left.
Flash forward, I had a medical event 5 months after this visit, which wrecked both my workout regime and the weight I'd lost in that time period (about 12 lbs). I'm due for another visit and I've put it off, and I realize it's because of that shaming episode. I don't want to go back to her heavier than I was last year and with the lame ass excuse that now almost a year later I had a (mild but limiting) accident.
I have also realized the following things about myself:
1) I have a lot of anxiety about people "knowing" I am dieting or thinking that I am not self-confident. It's as if I think I'm going to be picked off as a weak member of the herd.
2) I am not good at being able to tell when I've had enough to eat (often realize I've over-eaten very belatedly).
3) I punish myself by denying myself things because I'm not supposed tobe happy unless I'm thinner. Which feels exactly as disordered as it looks!
4) I avoid situations like the one with my doctor where someone in authority can point out to me how I've failed.
I started running again recently, but I'm easily at my heaviest "acceptable to me" weight. I'm at the "never again" mark (again) and I just want to stop existing or something simpler than going back on a diet and trying to lose weight. Again, I realize how incredibly disordered this is and sounds. I have done things that are a lot harder than lose weight,like, by orders of thousands. Those things just didn't involve self-hate, so you know, simpler.
I want to get help, but I'm terrified of going to a regular doctor, because I will actually lose my mind if one more person chirps at me that it's "just" calories in and calories out. I've taken Celexa for anx/depression once before and NO THANKS. I didn't like it, I felt completely bizarre.
I guess I just need to know where to start, and what to say or do to get someone to help me. I appear to be very functional, and I have previously been told that since I can self-identify all this that I will be fine, but I am not fine. I am slowly killing myself, and while being dead would indeed stop all this from bothering me, it's not really the option I'm interested in.
Mod note: Couple of comments deleted. Friendly reminder, OP isn't asking for weightloss advice. She's asking for advice about what kind of doctor or person to see, and what to say to them, to get some help. Let's keep it focused in that direction.
posted by LobsterMitten (staff) at 9:28 PM on August 8, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by LobsterMitten (staff) at 9:28 PM on August 8, 2015 [3 favorites]
If your city has One Medical Group, check them out. I use them here in DC, and not only are they kind, efficient, talented medical professionals, but they have also been, in my experience, very supportive of Health at Every Size. I've seen a number of different providers in several cities, and no one has ever said anything derogatory about my weight (which is about the same, proportional to my height, as yours is). In fact, the only times we've talked about my weight, the questions they ask tend to be about whether I'm happy with it and whether it has changed since the last time we talked about it. Neutral questions designed to help me with my goals, not designed to make me feel bad for not living up to someone else's ideals. We talk about my exercise and eating habits, and lots of other health things, but the idea is what it seems like you're looking for--someone who will treat me with respect and address my medical needs without shaming my body. In addition, One Medical is great at recommending specific, high-quality doctors for referrals I might need, and they can manage lots of different sorts of things in-house. I get my GYN care there, as well as allergy care. They don't do psychiatric/psychological, but they'll give you a good referral. So I'd start with someplace like that.
posted by decathecting at 9:40 PM on August 8, 2015
posted by decathecting at 9:40 PM on August 8, 2015
It's not an excuse! I blew my knee out a few years back, and still can't do any exercise more strenuous that what my PT said. My GP knows this. I'm still recovering from the walking I did on vacation last week!
Look, I know you said Celexa didn't work for you, but I encourage you to find something that does. I went through several medications to curb my anxiety/depression, and it's made a world of difference. IANAD, but I think you need to get your mental health in order before you can get your physical health, in terms of weight loss, in order. And, you know, that's totally okay.
posted by Ruki at 9:47 PM on August 8, 2015 [1 favorite]
Look, I know you said Celexa didn't work for you, but I encourage you to find something that does. I went through several medications to curb my anxiety/depression, and it's made a world of difference. IANAD, but I think you need to get your mental health in order before you can get your physical health, in terms of weight loss, in order. And, you know, that's totally okay.
posted by Ruki at 9:47 PM on August 8, 2015 [1 favorite]
You might want to consider a therapist of some sort. And while you may want a doctor to help you with the mental side of what you're going through, a "food doctor" could maybe even help too. Maybe talking to a nutritionist could help identify triggers for you and help you come up with some legit strategies to deal with what may be an eating disorder. (Eating disorders can be too much food, not just not enough.)
If you do find a doctor that belittles how difficult it is and says the "it's just calories in, calories out" thing, feel free to drop that doctor and get a new one. Not all doctors are good fits, not all doctors are good at their jobs, and not all doctors "get it." I once had a therapist tell me I would be happier if I made my hair look better. She was an idiot and I never went to her again. Some doctors are idiots.
I don't know if this will be helpful, but here's my own experience just to say, "Hey, I feel you." I was once depressed and at a rather unhealthy weight. I definitely didn't want anyone to know I was trying to lose weight since I was so out of shape -- I thought it would be embarrassing if people knew that I knew how out of shape I was or something convoluted like that. I was in therapy for the depression and anxiety, and I eventually went on both anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medication. So, for me to deal with my weight, first I needed to feel less depressed to be able to muster up the gumption to do it. I needed to hate myself and my life a little less so I needed instant gratification (like food) less. Then what I did was I just worked out in secret. I was young so I lived with my parents and they had a treadmill in the basement that no one used and I'd walk on it everyday for at least an hour while I watched a soap opera or something that lasted an hour. The more I did it, the better conditioned I became and the harder I worked out. Eventually, when you work out regularly and feel like you can do it without struggling, even if you're still out of shape you just feel so much better and so much more confident. So eventually I joined a gym and worked out in public without shame. I won't pretend it's easy, but you can get there.
posted by AppleTurnover at 10:01 PM on August 8, 2015 [1 favorite]
If you do find a doctor that belittles how difficult it is and says the "it's just calories in, calories out" thing, feel free to drop that doctor and get a new one. Not all doctors are good fits, not all doctors are good at their jobs, and not all doctors "get it." I once had a therapist tell me I would be happier if I made my hair look better. She was an idiot and I never went to her again. Some doctors are idiots.
I don't know if this will be helpful, but here's my own experience just to say, "Hey, I feel you." I was once depressed and at a rather unhealthy weight. I definitely didn't want anyone to know I was trying to lose weight since I was so out of shape -- I thought it would be embarrassing if people knew that I knew how out of shape I was or something convoluted like that. I was in therapy for the depression and anxiety, and I eventually went on both anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medication. So, for me to deal with my weight, first I needed to feel less depressed to be able to muster up the gumption to do it. I needed to hate myself and my life a little less so I needed instant gratification (like food) less. Then what I did was I just worked out in secret. I was young so I lived with my parents and they had a treadmill in the basement that no one used and I'd walk on it everyday for at least an hour while I watched a soap opera or something that lasted an hour. The more I did it, the better conditioned I became and the harder I worked out. Eventually, when you work out regularly and feel like you can do it without struggling, even if you're still out of shape you just feel so much better and so much more confident. So eventually I joined a gym and worked out in public without shame. I won't pretend it's easy, but you can get there.
posted by AppleTurnover at 10:01 PM on August 8, 2015 [1 favorite]
Well, why don't you start by getting a proper internist or family doctor? I know a lot of women use their gynecologist as their primary physician, but I think there are good reasons to have an internist as well (e.g., most gynecologists are not going to be up to date with the latest treatment options for common conditions like high blood pressure).
I understand that you have a great deal of anxiety about your weight, but I don't think it is fair to describe your gynecologist as "shaming" you; she made a point about your weight, not about *you* as a person, and she would be remiss not to make the point. You might feel ashamed (and that's really sad since you have no reason to feel that way), but that doesn't mean anyone shamed you.
That said, you are an adult, and you don't have to continue a relationship that makes you uncomfortable. When you visit your new doctor you might start off by saying something like, "I understand I am currently overweight, and I am actively addressing that issue and do not wish to discuss it further. I am here today to go over my blood pressure readings [or whatever]."
You can take control of your relationship with your physicians. Good luck!
posted by girl flaneur at 11:34 PM on August 8, 2015 [8 favorites]
I understand that you have a great deal of anxiety about your weight, but I don't think it is fair to describe your gynecologist as "shaming" you; she made a point about your weight, not about *you* as a person, and she would be remiss not to make the point. You might feel ashamed (and that's really sad since you have no reason to feel that way), but that doesn't mean anyone shamed you.
That said, you are an adult, and you don't have to continue a relationship that makes you uncomfortable. When you visit your new doctor you might start off by saying something like, "I understand I am currently overweight, and I am actively addressing that issue and do not wish to discuss it further. I am here today to go over my blood pressure readings [or whatever]."
You can take control of your relationship with your physicians. Good luck!
posted by girl flaneur at 11:34 PM on August 8, 2015 [8 favorites]
I'm going to disagree with girl flaneur here and mention that plenty of doctors absolutely do shame patients for being overweight. Doctors make shitty judgements all the time about their overweight patients and feel that they're entitled to make comments when it's not directly medically relevant. Doctors often ignore actual medical problems in favor of just telling their patients to lose weight. There's absolutely no reason a gynecologist needs to tell a patient to lose weight unless the patient asked for advice about how to lose weight. Especially since a gynecologist is not a substitute for a GP. Their specialized training doesn't qualify them to diagnose or treat whole body issues and since it's not necessary for them to keep current on medical training outside their specialty they may be doing more harm than good.
OP, you really need a GP and a therapist. If you're worried they're going to judge you about your weight, you can bring it up first thing. Just say, "I know I'm overweight but I'd appreciate it if you concentrated on treating my actual problems rather than focusing on my weight." If they balk, you know you need to keep looking. Good luck.
posted by i feel possessed at 2:44 AM on August 9, 2015 [10 favorites]
OP, you really need a GP and a therapist. If you're worried they're going to judge you about your weight, you can bring it up first thing. Just say, "I know I'm overweight but I'd appreciate it if you concentrated on treating my actual problems rather than focusing on my weight." If they balk, you know you need to keep looking. Good luck.
posted by i feel possessed at 2:44 AM on August 9, 2015 [10 favorites]
Nthinh therapist. This gyn was not trying to shame you. Your weight has nothing to do with your worth as a person. It does have to do with putting you at increased risk for many health issues and your doc is required to address these issues. Ideally your therapist will help you see such an incident as an opportunity. Like yes doc, what tools can you use to help me? Or to practice some boundaries and say I don't think there is an underlying issue here and I have been working out like a rockstar so eff off for now.
posted by Kalmya at 3:32 AM on August 9, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Kalmya at 3:32 AM on August 9, 2015 [2 favorites]
Mod note: Comment deleted. Sorry folks, but this isn't the place to argue with each other or the OP's phrasing, or get into a extended debate about if the gynecologist was shaming. OP would like help and suggestions about what to do now: what medical help they should seek under the circumstances described, so please concentrate on helping with that. Thanks.
posted by taz (staff) at 4:35 AM on August 9, 2015
posted by taz (staff) at 4:35 AM on August 9, 2015
I guess I just need to know where to start
I found Jacques Peretti's documentary reminder that aiming for fitness is effort better spent than aiming for thinness to be a very useful aid in combating the whole self-hate business.
posted by flabdablet at 4:45 AM on August 9, 2015
I found Jacques Peretti's documentary reminder that aiming for fitness is effort better spent than aiming for thinness to be a very useful aid in combating the whole self-hate business.
posted by flabdablet at 4:45 AM on August 9, 2015
It's a real shame that your gyn dropped that comment on you with no actual offer or suggestions of help. That kind of stuff has happened to me before with doctors and it definitely makes me feel shamed and anxious to have to see them again too.
Therapist for dealing with the feelings. I can't really comment on your health but you sound like you have the exercise part down. If you don't feel happy with your eating habits then maybe see a nutritionist. I just saw one recently and was super worried he was going to shame me about my weight and love of desserts, and it wasn't like that at all. We also only talked about calories for maybe 2 seconds and then immediately moved on to weight control strategies with the complicating factor of SSRIs. He didn't put me on any diet at all but I'm definitely more cognizant of what I'm eating. I didn't feel shamed at all - so there are good ones out there!
But therapist first I would say.
posted by chainsofreedom at 5:03 AM on August 9, 2015 [1 favorite]
Therapist for dealing with the feelings. I can't really comment on your health but you sound like you have the exercise part down. If you don't feel happy with your eating habits then maybe see a nutritionist. I just saw one recently and was super worried he was going to shame me about my weight and love of desserts, and it wasn't like that at all. We also only talked about calories for maybe 2 seconds and then immediately moved on to weight control strategies with the complicating factor of SSRIs. He didn't put me on any diet at all but I'm definitely more cognizant of what I'm eating. I didn't feel shamed at all - so there are good ones out there!
But therapist first I would say.
posted by chainsofreedom at 5:03 AM on August 9, 2015 [1 favorite]
I hate doctors because I have had allll kinds of horrible shaming experiences with them. I broke my arm a while back and tried to not go to the doctor, because even when I go in for something innocuous it somehow turns into the doctor telling me why I'm wrong about my own experiences or a bad person or whatever. I don't know why.
Do you have any friends that you could ask for a recommendation? My current GP is really good at not being a terrible human being, so I recommend her to everyone. You are better off asking an overweight friend - I am a similar level of overweightness to you, and while doctors were still horrible to me when I was thin, they at least weren't horrible about my weight.
And yeah, a therapist could be helpful. Don't pick one who focuses on weight loss, though.
posted by goodbyewaffles at 7:54 AM on August 9, 2015 [1 favorite]
Do you have any friends that you could ask for a recommendation? My current GP is really good at not being a terrible human being, so I recommend her to everyone. You are better off asking an overweight friend - I am a similar level of overweightness to you, and while doctors were still horrible to me when I was thin, they at least weren't horrible about my weight.
And yeah, a therapist could be helpful. Don't pick one who focuses on weight loss, though.
posted by goodbyewaffles at 7:54 AM on August 9, 2015 [1 favorite]
I'd look for a therapist but also for a GP.
A lot of conditions are linked to weight and anxiety. You might want to get a thyroid workup, if you haven't, and also anxiety can cause weight gain.
The feelings of shame are really hard to deal with, but your weight is not a moral issue. It just isn't. Sometimes what has helped me deal with similar situations, although it takes a lot of effort, is to share with the professional what is going on. So the conversation might start something like "hey, the last time we were in you talked to me about my weight. I would really like to lose weight and I know it impacts on my health, but I also found that after that appointment I felt a lot of shame and anxiety. I was wondering how we could talk about this in a way I don't have to go through that because it impacts on my daily life." Then that particular doctor often will slow down a bit.
Doctors sometimes just rush information because they are talking about bodies and health issues all day long. I don't know if this was that, but if you ask and then they don't modify their own behaviour, fire them. Life is too short for that.
posted by warriorqueen at 10:45 AM on August 9, 2015
A lot of conditions are linked to weight and anxiety. You might want to get a thyroid workup, if you haven't, and also anxiety can cause weight gain.
The feelings of shame are really hard to deal with, but your weight is not a moral issue. It just isn't. Sometimes what has helped me deal with similar situations, although it takes a lot of effort, is to share with the professional what is going on. So the conversation might start something like "hey, the last time we were in you talked to me about my weight. I would really like to lose weight and I know it impacts on my health, but I also found that after that appointment I felt a lot of shame and anxiety. I was wondering how we could talk about this in a way I don't have to go through that because it impacts on my daily life." Then that particular doctor often will slow down a bit.
Doctors sometimes just rush information because they are talking about bodies and health issues all day long. I don't know if this was that, but if you ask and then they don't modify their own behaviour, fire them. Life is too short for that.
posted by warriorqueen at 10:45 AM on August 9, 2015
I had some luck visiting (for fertility issues) an acupuncturist who also trained as a nutritionist. I liked that she discussed endocrine systems with me and discussed how I could match my diet to my metabolism style, she also added in supplements gradually. I also found the acupuncture experience itself both energizing and meditative. She may have simply been a person with a particularly good bedside manner who spent more time talking through stuff than the MDs I was speaking with but I felt like the experience was helpful overall. I'm curious if you would benefit at all from this approach. It seems at least to be a way to diagnose possible systemic endocrine issues in a bit less of a medicalized environment. My insurance covered a good portion of the the treatment.
posted by vunder at 10:50 AM on August 9, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by vunder at 10:50 AM on August 9, 2015 [1 favorite]
Whether you go back to the same doctor or a different one, you can try asking the person you talk to when you make the appointment to put a note in your record that you don't want to discuss your weight at the appointment. Even if the doctor does bring it up-- it will happen and then be over. You already survived it once.
After I read the book Health at Every Size I have become really intolerant of anyone including medical people encouraging weight loss as an end goal in itself. I still try to eat well and I go to the gym regularly, which I didn't before. I participate in wellness programs at my job but I quit if there are any weight loss messages involved. I am the same weight, but more active and happier and saner.
A therapist might help, with the goal of accepting yourself and allowing yourself to be happy regardless of your weight, and then from that healthy place deciding whether you would still like to lose weight.
posted by katieanne at 11:58 AM on August 9, 2015
After I read the book Health at Every Size I have become really intolerant of anyone including medical people encouraging weight loss as an end goal in itself. I still try to eat well and I go to the gym regularly, which I didn't before. I participate in wellness programs at my job but I quit if there are any weight loss messages involved. I am the same weight, but more active and happier and saner.
A therapist might help, with the goal of accepting yourself and allowing yourself to be happy regardless of your weight, and then from that healthy place deciding whether you would still like to lose weight.
posted by katieanne at 11:58 AM on August 9, 2015
I'm so sorry you've had such a rotten experience, and I hope you can get back into exercising. If you are able to exercise, it will be great for your physical and mental health, and I'm so impressed that you were able to make so much progress. If possible, when you go to your next doc, just tell them I'm aware of my weight, and when I am chided about it, it's just discouraging. I'd like to give your post to every doctor who gives patients hell about weight.
posted by theora55 at 12:06 PM on August 9, 2015
posted by theora55 at 12:06 PM on August 9, 2015
Reading your question, I thought of the recent interview of Sarah Hepola on Fresh Air. She talks about how it was harder for her to walk into a weight loss group than it was to go to AA meetings. Lots of people will tell you it is more important to be health than to be thin and they are right. However, if you can figure out a healthy, sustainable way to lose weight and keep it off, that is even better. So, at some point you might want to consider a group weight loss program that addresses the emotional and practical aspects of weight as well as giving you a complete plan and support for doing it. I don't recommend starting a program like that until you have the motivation to really do the program (see-sawing - losing and regaining weight - is even worse than just maintaining a steady but higher weight level.)
So, I am recommending you go a group weight loss program but (i) pick the group carefully and (ii) don't do it until you feel ready. MeMail me if you want to know the specific program I used - they all have pros and cons but it worked for me - I lost 70 pounds in 2011 and have kept off 60 of them for almost four years.
posted by metahawk at 3:11 PM on August 9, 2015
So, I am recommending you go a group weight loss program but (i) pick the group carefully and (ii) don't do it until you feel ready. MeMail me if you want to know the specific program I used - they all have pros and cons but it worked for me - I lost 70 pounds in 2011 and have kept off 60 of them for almost four years.
posted by metahawk at 3:11 PM on August 9, 2015
Here is a list of "fat friendly" health professionals. There is usually anecdotal information in each entry, so that you can decide if an approach works for you.
If that's not useful: Unfortunately, some of the worst weight loss advice I've ever received has come from GPs. I get along with my current one because he knows he's not an expert, and refers me out (endocrinologist, nutritionist, etc) for that concern. You might want to start with a psychiatrist, let them know what your concerns are, and ask for their recommendations.
posted by gnomeloaf at 7:16 PM on August 9, 2015
If that's not useful: Unfortunately, some of the worst weight loss advice I've ever received has come from GPs. I get along with my current one because he knows he's not an expert, and refers me out (endocrinologist, nutritionist, etc) for that concern. You might want to start with a psychiatrist, let them know what your concerns are, and ask for their recommendations.
posted by gnomeloaf at 7:16 PM on August 9, 2015
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Do you have people to support you emotionally? Here's a thing I didn't realize was allowed until a friend asked me to do it: you can have a friend come be with you when you're at a doctor's appointment, you just have to give the okay for the doctor to talk about confidential things in front of them. And then it's totally up to you when your friend stays in the room or leaves - if you wanted privacy during the pelvic exam but your friend to sit next to you while the doctor talks to you afterward, for example, that is totally a thing you can do! Just ask and be clear.
It also sounds like you would do better with your weight goals if you were working with a professional, specifically so you can have someone who helps you form realistic goals and gives you honest feedback, instead of depending on yourself alone. So when your mind is making you feel like dirt, but this person outside of yourself is laying out how hard you're working and how much progress and consistency you've exhibited, you can more easily tell your brain to stfu. Personal trainers are absolutely for people like you, not just people who are super into fitness. Depending on the person, they might also help you learn things like portion control, or point you in the direction of someone you could ask nutrition questions of.
I'd also drop that GYN and find another one because even if you've made a lot of progress with your anxiety, having to go see her again seems like unnecessary self-flagellation.
I'm sorry that you're having to endure all this. It's scary, and hard, and confusing, and it's totally understandable that you're having such a hard time figuring out where to begin. Step back and take stock of what tools and resources you have available. Do you have any friends or family who have ever said something like"if you ever need help, just ask"? Because now would be the time to ask. For emotional support, to be beside you when you list out options and steps to take, to go with you to scope out gyms or trainers, to have a decompression cup of tea after psychiatry consults. To tell you that you do deserve to feel good, at every weight. I know that you said you have anxiety about people seeing your weaknesses, but think hard about if there's anybody to whom that doesn't apply, or if there's someone it's easier for you to overcome that barrier with. Just one ally can make a world of difference.
posted by Mizu at 9:19 PM on August 8, 2015 [2 favorites]