Help me not hate weekends
May 16, 2015 4:01 PM Subscribe
I hate weekends. It's a struggle to get myself to leave the house on Saturdays and Sundays; I just want to hide under a blanket all day. Work is different; I looooove going to work Monday through Friday, and I love work in general. What do you do to get yourself out and about, or otherwise excited about weekends?
I live in Somerville/Medford, MA, in case you got anything location-specific. Thanks!
I live in Somerville/Medford, MA, in case you got anything location-specific. Thanks!
Best answer: Do you hate getting Out of the house on weekends or being out of the house?
If the former, force yourself out such as attending a class or something you already paid for (cooking, craft, yoga, whatever).
If the latter, then get a hobby! Join a running group, volunteer at a soup kitchen or animal rescue, etc - somewhere in which your presence would be missed if you stay under the blankets.
posted by Neekee at 4:32 PM on May 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
If the former, force yourself out such as attending a class or something you already paid for (cooking, craft, yoga, whatever).
If the latter, then get a hobby! Join a running group, volunteer at a soup kitchen or animal rescue, etc - somewhere in which your presence would be missed if you stay under the blankets.
posted by Neekee at 4:32 PM on May 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
What do you hate about weekends? I love weekends! That's when I get to do whatever I want - including hide under the blankets. Are you putting too much pressure on yourself to do something on the weekends that you don't want to do? Is there anything wrong with hiding out in bed and playing on the computer all weekend long? If you love work so much, why not work (at your job or elsewhere) or volunteer on something related to your work on the weekends.
posted by Toddles at 4:35 PM on May 16, 2015 [6 favorites]
posted by Toddles at 4:35 PM on May 16, 2015 [6 favorites]
Well, the no work thing is a big plus. While I like work and enjoy what I do, I am the master of my weekend... Sort of...
I've got kids, so I still get up at 5:30, still have breakfast on the table by 7:00, but rather than scoot upstairs to work at 8:00, I take the kids and the dog for a nice walk.
At 10:00, my wife finished with her Saturday clients and we run errands as a family, sometimes grocery shopping, sometimes cleaning. Today we took advantage of the lack of rain and grilled out, then watched movie as a family.
Were I single, I would have had the option of attending a cookout with some buddies, and probably gone and seem either Mad Max or Age of Ultron with someone... When I was in Somerville, I always liked biking to haymarket and checking the market on Saturday mornings I wasn't working. I also dug going to Trident, getting a pot of tea, and digging through some weird philosophy books. I've also been known to play games, fix bikes, lounge on the couch, make pancakes, play soccer, ride to JP and hike around the pond.... Really... It is spring time in Boston metro.... If you've got nothing else, there's always people watching in Harvard square.
posted by Nanukthedog at 4:45 PM on May 16, 2015
I've got kids, so I still get up at 5:30, still have breakfast on the table by 7:00, but rather than scoot upstairs to work at 8:00, I take the kids and the dog for a nice walk.
At 10:00, my wife finished with her Saturday clients and we run errands as a family, sometimes grocery shopping, sometimes cleaning. Today we took advantage of the lack of rain and grilled out, then watched movie as a family.
Were I single, I would have had the option of attending a cookout with some buddies, and probably gone and seem either Mad Max or Age of Ultron with someone... When I was in Somerville, I always liked biking to haymarket and checking the market on Saturday mornings I wasn't working. I also dug going to Trident, getting a pot of tea, and digging through some weird philosophy books. I've also been known to play games, fix bikes, lounge on the couch, make pancakes, play soccer, ride to JP and hike around the pond.... Really... It is spring time in Boston metro.... If you've got nothing else, there's always people watching in Harvard square.
posted by Nanukthedog at 4:45 PM on May 16, 2015
If I don't have concrete plans with people or specific goals (like running a race or something) I am working towards, I can easily tend towards sloth and internet of a weekend. That's alright once in a while but too much of it is not good for my self-esteem.
I try and make weekend plans with friends a while in advance to force me out of the house, and recently I did a 4 day improv class, which got me out of the house every Sunday for a month. I also enjoyed it way more and learned much much more than a lost internet weekend, although don't beat yourself up if those are something you really enjoy - decompression time is important and even idling on the internet you can often see something that'll spark your interest to do something else.
posted by Jon Mitchell at 4:46 PM on May 16, 2015
I try and make weekend plans with friends a while in advance to force me out of the house, and recently I did a 4 day improv class, which got me out of the house every Sunday for a month. I also enjoyed it way more and learned much much more than a lost internet weekend, although don't beat yourself up if those are something you really enjoy - decompression time is important and even idling on the internet you can often see something that'll spark your interest to do something else.
posted by Jon Mitchell at 4:46 PM on May 16, 2015
What's wrong with hiding under the blankets?
posted by salvia at 4:48 PM on May 16, 2015 [14 favorites]
posted by salvia at 4:48 PM on May 16, 2015 [14 favorites]
Best answer: I can get really anxious on the weekend if I don't have a schedule. However I *love* having a long to-do list (either around the house or around town) and checking things off. Would that help you? You could even make yourself a full-on schedule.
According to your recent questions, it looks like you just moved earlier this year. I know how hard it is to move to a new place and not have a solid group of friends and a total lay of the land. Would it help you to join some scheduled group activities? Volunteer somewhere, take a class, join a Meetup, etc. It'd force you to be somewhere at a certain time (like work), and you'd meet people.
posted by radioamy at 5:01 PM on May 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
According to your recent questions, it looks like you just moved earlier this year. I know how hard it is to move to a new place and not have a solid group of friends and a total lay of the land. Would it help you to join some scheduled group activities? Volunteer somewhere, take a class, join a Meetup, etc. It'd force you to be somewhere at a certain time (like work), and you'd meet people.
posted by radioamy at 5:01 PM on May 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
I want to know what you do for work that you love so much!
But to answer your question... it's kind of contradictory, isn't it? You're asking how to get yourself motivated to get out and about; but it sounds like you don't actually WANT to be out and about, is that right? I mean, it's ok to cocoon on weekends, if that's what you want to do. That's the whole point of weekends - that you can do what you want to do - at least until you have family obligations that infringe on that freedom.
If you want to burrow under the covers, do it! But if your issue is that you feel uncomfortable with unstructured or unproductive time, I would suggest using the bed-time to listen to podcasts or read something you've wanted to learn about. And also assign yourself an hour on Saturday to make a plan for Sunday, or for the following weekend. Maybe you use the time to research a meetup, or call a friend to make plans, or map out a bike itinerary, whatever.
I do find that my weekend days are likely to be spent in very low-value ways if I don't have a plan made for them ahead of time. I can't wake up and then plan and then execute same-day.
posted by fingersandtoes at 5:03 PM on May 16, 2015 [2 favorites]
But to answer your question... it's kind of contradictory, isn't it? You're asking how to get yourself motivated to get out and about; but it sounds like you don't actually WANT to be out and about, is that right? I mean, it's ok to cocoon on weekends, if that's what you want to do. That's the whole point of weekends - that you can do what you want to do - at least until you have family obligations that infringe on that freedom.
If you want to burrow under the covers, do it! But if your issue is that you feel uncomfortable with unstructured or unproductive time, I would suggest using the bed-time to listen to podcasts or read something you've wanted to learn about. And also assign yourself an hour on Saturday to make a plan for Sunday, or for the following weekend. Maybe you use the time to research a meetup, or call a friend to make plans, or map out a bike itinerary, whatever.
I do find that my weekend days are likely to be spent in very low-value ways if I don't have a plan made for them ahead of time. I can't wake up and then plan and then execute same-day.
posted by fingersandtoes at 5:03 PM on May 16, 2015 [2 favorites]
Join a club or sport get together for the weekends.
I used to be the same way. I hated weekends because everyone else is also off on weekends meaning there are a lot of important errands and tasks that you just can't get on until Monday rolls around. It made me restless and waiting for Monday to finally come.
It helped a lot when I joined a local archery club which has leagues and classes at specific times. On noon every Saturday and Sunday I'm with the archery club. And on Sundays after Archery I take a language class. This has made weekends SO much more fun than back when I just had them completely free.
posted by rancher at 5:14 PM on May 16, 2015
I used to be the same way. I hated weekends because everyone else is also off on weekends meaning there are a lot of important errands and tasks that you just can't get on until Monday rolls around. It made me restless and waiting for Monday to finally come.
It helped a lot when I joined a local archery club which has leagues and classes at specific times. On noon every Saturday and Sunday I'm with the archery club. And on Sundays after Archery I take a language class. This has made weekends SO much more fun than back when I just had them completely free.
posted by rancher at 5:14 PM on May 16, 2015
Best answer: What do you do to get yourself out and about, or otherwise excited about weekends?
Get enough sleep during the week. Make sure I'm eating well and getting some exercise.
I love my work too. I love it so much that I invest huge amounts of energy into it without breaking a sweat. This, by itself, won't demolish my weekend.
But I don't always get enough sleep during the week. No matter how much sleep I get or don't get I'll still pour the same amount of energy into my job. Come the weekend I am fucking beat. I don't want to leave my apartment. I don't want to leave my bed. I don't have any energy left to be excited. No energy = no motivation = bed and Netflix.
So in addition to the fine suggestions above, maybe check in on what's feeding your energy levels. Satisfying work sure as hell can, but there's gotta be something else coming in.
posted by space_cookie at 5:43 PM on May 16, 2015 [3 favorites]
Get enough sleep during the week. Make sure I'm eating well and getting some exercise.
I love my work too. I love it so much that I invest huge amounts of energy into it without breaking a sweat. This, by itself, won't demolish my weekend.
But I don't always get enough sleep during the week. No matter how much sleep I get or don't get I'll still pour the same amount of energy into my job. Come the weekend I am fucking beat. I don't want to leave my apartment. I don't want to leave my bed. I don't have any energy left to be excited. No energy = no motivation = bed and Netflix.
So in addition to the fine suggestions above, maybe check in on what's feeding your energy levels. Satisfying work sure as hell can, but there's gotta be something else coming in.
posted by space_cookie at 5:43 PM on May 16, 2015 [3 favorites]
This being MeFi, I'm surprised no one has mentioned depression.
This sounds like depression to me. When I'm in one of my depressive swings, I can't handle doing anything but work. Work gives me a goal and a purpose that I can achieve day-in, day-out. Other than that, I'm lost and alone. Is it possible this is part of what you're feeling?
posted by InsanePenguin at 5:44 PM on May 16, 2015 [9 favorites]
This sounds like depression to me. When I'm in one of my depressive swings, I can't handle doing anything but work. Work gives me a goal and a purpose that I can achieve day-in, day-out. Other than that, I'm lost and alone. Is it possible this is part of what you're feeling?
posted by InsanePenguin at 5:44 PM on May 16, 2015 [9 favorites]
I'm prone to puttering around unless I make firm plans in advance. I'm not always great at forward planning, though; it happens sometimes that Saturday pops up and I'm like, "what, oh hey, I'm feeling buzzy, I want to be doing something not in the house, maybe", and then it's too late, because everyone else seems to plan things a full month ahead. (Am curious to see what others here do, actually.) What helps (when I think of it) is keeping an eye out for things (e.g. in the local weekly or equivalent) at least a week in advance, I think two is probably better.
Personally, although I've liked weeknight classes, I've always wound up resenting regularly scheduled weekend activities because that cuts other things out. (Mornings = losing lounging or recovery time from the night before; Sunday afternoon = losing errand / cleaning time; Sunday evening = losing relaxing and preparing time for the next week; Saturday afternoon is ok except that's also when other fun things often happen, and then you can't do those.) One-off workshops are less invasive. (ymmv)
posted by cotton dress sock at 6:00 PM on May 16, 2015
Personally, although I've liked weeknight classes, I've always wound up resenting regularly scheduled weekend activities because that cuts other things out. (Mornings = losing lounging or recovery time from the night before; Sunday afternoon = losing errand / cleaning time; Sunday evening = losing relaxing and preparing time for the next week; Saturday afternoon is ok except that's also when other fun things often happen, and then you can't do those.) One-off workshops are less invasive. (ymmv)
posted by cotton dress sock at 6:00 PM on May 16, 2015
This is a hard question. When I was working M-F, it was Saturday: do chores and shopping and errands. Sunday was for things like bike rides on local trails, etc. If not, a BBQ in the warm months or a stew or roast.
One thing that stimulated my former husband was getting involved in the community and he got really involved. Volunteering to pick up trash, going on walks for charity, etc. I went along with that, but I am more of a homebody, so I prefer to stay at home, until I don't. Then I will go out and do something and explore, when I feel like it.
Maybe you are tired. Maybe you don't have a wide social circle? You go to work, get stimulated, and then nothing on the weekends. You might need to refresh, and that's okay.
Look into local FB and Twitter meet-ups, for one. I am very localized on my FB and I have a crew, even if I don't meet with them every weekend, I know about events. I try to look up a new place to go, restaurant or natural location, museum, and those are about once a month, because life happens. Give yourself some event to look forward to on one weekend a month, like a FB event or other community event.
In any case, I get too homebodied and then I go, "Whoops, gotta get out!" and then I do, even if it's for a drive in the country, I am away from my domicile and seeing other things. Checking out a farmers market, a new store, a new natural location that I've never been to before, etc. I often forget we have mountains and hills and lakes and then I go hey, these things are here! And even a drive in that country drive is enough to refresh me. YMMV.
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 6:07 PM on May 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
One thing that stimulated my former husband was getting involved in the community and he got really involved. Volunteering to pick up trash, going on walks for charity, etc. I went along with that, but I am more of a homebody, so I prefer to stay at home, until I don't. Then I will go out and do something and explore, when I feel like it.
Maybe you are tired. Maybe you don't have a wide social circle? You go to work, get stimulated, and then nothing on the weekends. You might need to refresh, and that's okay.
Look into local FB and Twitter meet-ups, for one. I am very localized on my FB and I have a crew, even if I don't meet with them every weekend, I know about events. I try to look up a new place to go, restaurant or natural location, museum, and those are about once a month, because life happens. Give yourself some event to look forward to on one weekend a month, like a FB event or other community event.
In any case, I get too homebodied and then I go, "Whoops, gotta get out!" and then I do, even if it's for a drive in the country, I am away from my domicile and seeing other things. Checking out a farmers market, a new store, a new natural location that I've never been to before, etc. I often forget we have mountains and hills and lakes and then I go hey, these things are here! And even a drive in that country drive is enough to refresh me. YMMV.
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 6:07 PM on May 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
Mod note: One comment deleted; as usual please don't frame your answers as rebukes to other commenters. Just answer the OP. Thanks.
posted by LobsterMitten (staff) at 6:12 PM on May 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by LobsterMitten (staff) at 6:12 PM on May 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
It doesn't sound at all like depression to me, and I'm a therapist who is licensed to diagnose mental illness. One don't say "I looooove going to work Monday through Friday, and I love work in general," when one is depressed. Especially when one leaves it at that.
This sounds like being at loose ends, given your encomium to work. I would find a way to schedule specific purpose into your weekends, if not getting out bothers you. You don't mention any hobbies. This is basically what hobbies are for.
posted by OmieWise at 6:24 PM on May 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
This sounds like being at loose ends, given your encomium to work. I would find a way to schedule specific purpose into your weekends, if not getting out bothers you. You don't mention any hobbies. This is basically what hobbies are for.
posted by OmieWise at 6:24 PM on May 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
Well, today you just missed PorchFest in Somerville! C'mon, 100+ bands playing outside on their porches? Everyone was outside, jamming along, seeing people they haven't seen in awhile and meeting new people, their adorable dogs in tow. It's hard not to enjoy such random fun events.
There's tons of stuff like that happening all the time.
posted by miasma at 6:57 PM on May 16, 2015 [2 favorites]
There's tons of stuff like that happening all the time.
posted by miasma at 6:57 PM on May 16, 2015 [2 favorites]
Eh seriously, unless I'm in a new place where there's something new to explore or meeting up with friends, I'm a homebody. Nothing wrong with that. The last time I absolutely was going out every weekend was when I was on one of my photography highs and was out visiting a new place every weekend.
posted by TrinsicWS at 7:07 PM on May 16, 2015
posted by TrinsicWS at 7:07 PM on May 16, 2015
Do you really want to get out of the house? Today, and many weekend days, I didn't leave the house. It's so relaxing! All my nice stuff is here! So consider that relaxing is a perfectly fine activity in itself. You don't have to do anything, it's really okay to sit around and recharge.
But if you really want to get out, maybe tell us what you wish you were doing. That will help frame the advice. Advice for finding energy to run errands, to work out, or to see friends is going to differ.
posted by Tehhund at 8:02 PM on May 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
But if you really want to get out, maybe tell us what you wish you were doing. That will help frame the advice. Advice for finding energy to run errands, to work out, or to see friends is going to differ.
posted by Tehhund at 8:02 PM on May 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
If you're happier working, find a job you can only do on weekends!
posted by jenfullmoon at 10:00 PM on May 16, 2015
posted by jenfullmoon at 10:00 PM on May 16, 2015
Find a team sport you enjoy, the sport will be fun and good for you, the team element will provide you with responsibility for getting out of bed and getting there on time. (The same thing would apply with volunteering activity.)
That's what my SO does, since I am lazier I keep a stack of arty DVDs I want to watch undisturbed and whenever I have Sunday morning insomnia (like now) I get up, feed the cat, and then the two of us snuggle up on the couch with fresh coffee and a bacon butty (or toast since I stupidly forgot the bacon yesterday).
Which I guess implies a third motivator to get up, feeding and otherwise taking care of a pet.
posted by biffa at 11:25 PM on May 16, 2015
That's what my SO does, since I am lazier I keep a stack of arty DVDs I want to watch undisturbed and whenever I have Sunday morning insomnia (like now) I get up, feed the cat, and then the two of us snuggle up on the couch with fresh coffee and a bacon butty (or toast since I stupidly forgot the bacon yesterday).
Which I guess implies a third motivator to get up, feeding and otherwise taking care of a pet.
posted by biffa at 11:25 PM on May 16, 2015
It's sort of hard to tell what the main issue is here. Is it that the lack of scheduling makes you feel nervous? Is it that you feel social pressure to do things on the weekend that you don't actually want to do? Is it that nobody you know has weekend activities that actually sound appealing to you (e.g., are all of your friends really into going to bars when you don't drink)? Do you actually just really want to sit and read but feel like you're not "supposed" to? Etc. You get what I mean, though, I think we need a little more detail about why weekends make you feel like hiding (and why that hiding doesn't seem to feel good to you).
posted by en forme de poire at 1:50 AM on May 17, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by en forme de poire at 1:50 AM on May 17, 2015 [3 favorites]
C'mon, 100+ bands playing outside on their porches? Everyone was outside, jamming along, seeing people they haven't seen in awhile and meeting new people, their adorable dogs in tow. It's hard not to enjoy such random fun events.
As a counterpoint, this is not everyone's idea of fun. PorchFest is great, but large gatherings are really not my thing, and my thoughts yesterday were less "oh boy, let's go outside and see people" and more "dang, probably not a good idea to go for a run today."
So I agree with en forme de poire: to be able to answer this, OP, we need to know more about why you want to hide in bed all weekend. "There's nothing I want to do" is a very different problem from "Everywhere is crowded on the weekends and I hate crowds."
posted by Metroid Baby at 4:25 AM on May 17, 2015 [7 favorites]
As a counterpoint, this is not everyone's idea of fun. PorchFest is great, but large gatherings are really not my thing, and my thoughts yesterday were less "oh boy, let's go outside and see people" and more "dang, probably not a good idea to go for a run today."
So I agree with en forme de poire: to be able to answer this, OP, we need to know more about why you want to hide in bed all weekend. "There's nothing I want to do" is a very different problem from "Everywhere is crowded on the weekends and I hate crowds."
posted by Metroid Baby at 4:25 AM on May 17, 2015 [7 favorites]
Best answer: I had this problem when I started working after graduating from college. I was in a new city, and work was challenging and interesting. Weekends were unstructured and lonely.
What worked for me was planning something on the weekends, and then telling my co-workers what I was doing. I was much more motivated to get up and make it to that museum or class if I knew someone might ask me about it on Monday.
I also gave myself permission to plan and have routines on the weekends. People talk about how awesome weekends are because they're spontaneous and unstructured, but some of us just like to have plans!
posted by christinetheslp at 6:24 AM on May 17, 2015
What worked for me was planning something on the weekends, and then telling my co-workers what I was doing. I was much more motivated to get up and make it to that museum or class if I knew someone might ask me about it on Monday.
I also gave myself permission to plan and have routines on the weekends. People talk about how awesome weekends are because they're spontaneous and unstructured, but some of us just like to have plans!
posted by christinetheslp at 6:24 AM on May 17, 2015
I sometimes mean to go out at the weekends, but instead sit on the sofa, and then find myself in the evening bemoaning that I have already read the entire internet and there is nothing on TV.
In my case the fix is that I REALLY like coffee, and I am officially not allowed my coffee until I have left the house in order to do something. I think this works particularly well because I'd be getting off the sofa anyway to make the coffee, so it's relatively easy to redirect myself out of the front door.
posted by emilyw at 7:53 AM on May 17, 2015
In my case the fix is that I REALLY like coffee, and I am officially not allowed my coffee until I have left the house in order to do something. I think this works particularly well because I'd be getting off the sofa anyway to make the coffee, so it's relatively easy to redirect myself out of the front door.
posted by emilyw at 7:53 AM on May 17, 2015
Somerville/Cambridge has some amazing cafes, so I'd schedule in some chill cafe time on the weekends for sipping your coffee/tea of choice and reading a book or just sitting and people watching.
You also might consider picking a church if you're at all inclined that way. The UU church by Harvard is very...not religious...if you don't want it to be super religious. Great way to meet people, make connections, etc. and there's a clear time to BE THERE on the weekend.
If you like walking, there are so many great walking spots around here. Up and down the river. Walking the Freedom Trail in Boston. Taking the T to Brookline -- try the Emerald Necklace. Arnold Arboretum. etc.
Finally, when I get that "just wanna hide under a blanket!" feeling, it's often because I'm not getting enough sleep in the week. So you might try either working on that specifically OR scheduling a nice late morning on the weekends -- don't set an alarm, sleep in as late as you want, and then plan to get outside in the afternoon.
posted by rainbowbrite at 2:24 PM on May 17, 2015
You also might consider picking a church if you're at all inclined that way. The UU church by Harvard is very...not religious...if you don't want it to be super religious. Great way to meet people, make connections, etc. and there's a clear time to BE THERE on the weekend.
If you like walking, there are so many great walking spots around here. Up and down the river. Walking the Freedom Trail in Boston. Taking the T to Brookline -- try the Emerald Necklace. Arnold Arboretum. etc.
Finally, when I get that "just wanna hide under a blanket!" feeling, it's often because I'm not getting enough sleep in the week. So you might try either working on that specifically OR scheduling a nice late morning on the weekends -- don't set an alarm, sleep in as late as you want, and then plan to get outside in the afternoon.
posted by rainbowbrite at 2:24 PM on May 17, 2015
In his book Feeling Good, David Burns addresses weekend depression. He gives some really helpful cognitive behavioral strategies towards overcoming self-defeating behaviors. I've had a lot of problems with weekend depression, especially on Saturdays. I always said that Saturdays made me feel like I could fall off the planet and nobody would notice.
One thing that helped a lot came from Feeling Good, and that's to make a really meticulous schedule. Not to force myself to stick to it, but to have it so I can go to it if I'm struggling.
Another thing that's been helpful to me has been to get up and dress myself really nicely, do my hair, etc. It feels sufficiently weird to lie around the house like that that I go somewhere.
Also, I used to live in that area, and I love the Unitarian church (First Parish) in Harvard Square. Whatever your beliefs, the services are really thought-provoking.
posted by mermaidcafe at 8:40 AM on May 19, 2015
One thing that helped a lot came from Feeling Good, and that's to make a really meticulous schedule. Not to force myself to stick to it, but to have it so I can go to it if I'm struggling.
Another thing that's been helpful to me has been to get up and dress myself really nicely, do my hair, etc. It feels sufficiently weird to lie around the house like that that I go somewhere.
Also, I used to live in that area, and I love the Unitarian church (First Parish) in Harvard Square. Whatever your beliefs, the services are really thought-provoking.
posted by mermaidcafe at 8:40 AM on May 19, 2015
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by thebrokedown at 4:14 PM on May 16, 2015 [1 favorite]