Should I tell the truth about looking for a new job

May 7, 2015 2:56 PM

I am content in my current role, but looking to relocate. This will require days off work to interview. Should I tell my manager what I am doing?

I have been in my role for about a year, in the UK in a decent company. I am enjoying it, and would stay, but for personal reasons want to relocate to somewhere several hours away. I have been applying for several jobs in that area, and have started to get interviews. Thus far these have only been phone interviews, so I've been able to schedule them so they don't conflict with work, or make an excuse to take a half day off.

However, I've got a face to face interview coming up, and will probably have some more coming. I will need to take the day off to travel to them, and am not sure what to say. I could keep coming up with excuses for each one, but after a while I think it would become obvious what I was doing. I also like my manager, and feel like giving them warning that I am looking at relocating is fair. Do you think that it is sensible to say that I am planning to relocate to my manager, or should I keep lying for now?

This situation has got me quite stressed, so any pointers would be helpful, especially if you've been in a similar situation.

posted by anonymous to Work & Money (14 answers total)

I'm not familiar with the work culture in the UK, but in the US, to the extent possible I would just take personal days. Don't elaborate on why and create the need to lie, just write a quick email along the lines of "I'll be out of the office X day, and I'll have occasional access to email." Say as little as possible, and if pressed, just say "it's personal time off" and leave it at that as much as you can.

I don't see much good coming from coming clean, and potentially lots of bad.
posted by craven_morhead at 3:03 PM on May 7, 2015 [3 favorites]

Do you think that it is sensible to say that I am planning to relocate to my manager

Only if you can afford to be let go before you find another job. What happens if you tell them you are planning to leave (without a job lined up)? They would be entirely within their rights to start looking now for your replacement and let you go earlier than you planned. Can you afford that? If yes, then go for it. If not, don't.

I get where you are coming from but I think you really have to operate based on this being the business arrangement that it really is. You can't really treat your employer like friends that you'd talk to about your plans. The way you behave professionally and courteously is to give them notice when you have your job lined up (two weeks in standard in the US, what is it in the UK?), offer to help train your replacement, get all your job materials in order so the next person can step in quickly, and work out your notice.

Don't lie. You shouldn't have to. Do they require you to tell them what your plans are when you take other time off? That seems unlikely and unreasonable. So treat this like any other time off request. It's not personal. It's just business. And that's completely fine.

Good luck with your job hunting!
posted by Beti at 3:10 PM on May 7, 2015 [1 favorite]

Thirding a hearty "Nooope!" Just take the days and let 'em wonder.
posted by Etrigan at 3:15 PM on May 7, 2015

Nope. Nope. Nope.

Remember they won't tell you when they are having the meeting where they will discuss letting you go.

(My younger brother wears a suit at least once a week at whatever job he has to lay the foundation for taking half-days for job interviews without suspicion. )
posted by srboisvert at 3:18 PM on May 7, 2015 [12 favorites]

Sounds like you've got a great job and a great manager. Have you explored relocating and keeping your job (or at least staying with your current employer?).
posted by NotMyselfRightNow at 3:21 PM on May 7, 2015

It's always OK to keep quiet until you hand in your notice, even if that means lying about how you're using your time off. And if you're unsure enough about how it would go down that you're asking us, then it would probably be wiser to keep quiet. Book interviews for Mondays and Fridays and it'll just look as if you're taking weekend breaks.

That said, it can be OK to say you're intending to leave, depending on things like the nature of your role, the company culture, and your relationship with your manager. MeMail me if you want a specific example (I'm a team lead at a small British software company and had a similar situation arise recently with one of my team). In your case, if your role will be difficult to fill and/or requires a lot of training, your employer might appreciate the chance to keep you as a remote worker.
posted by ManyLeggedCreature at 4:38 PM on May 7, 2015

Absolutely do not tell them you are interviewing for new jobs. Unless, of course, you would like to risk being replaced or downsized before you've found a new job -- in that case, definitely tell your manager.

You may wish to inquire about working remotely in your current role. I asked because I was going to find a new job and quit if they didn't. I did make it clear I wasn't happy living where my company's headquarters is, but I put a very positive spin on the idea of having me work remotely, sold it as a benefit to the organization, and had a plan in place to minimize any potential downsides. Guess what? It got approved. I got to keep my job and I work in a place where I am happy. Most jobs in 2015 can be done remotely -- it may be worth exploring whether that is a viable possibility in your role or organization.
posted by AppleTurnover at 6:09 PM on May 7, 2015 [3 favorites]

The excuse that I use in this situation is "family business" and I say I don't want to talk about it.

The excuse has the advantage of being true. At the end of the day, how I make money is my family's business.
posted by crazycanuck at 6:30 PM on May 7, 2015 [1 favorite]

Well, there are so many "nos" that I am practically required to toss out one "yes".

Actually, a qualified yes. I don't think you are at all required to tell your manager you're looking. You should be reasonably sure you're not going to get mistreated for it.

I have usually given early notice when I was able, including the similar "I'm moving to this other town as soon as I can find a new job there, but I don't know when that will be." I've never been punished for it.

(You aren't by any chance moving to be with your sweetheart are you?)

Most likely explaining what's going on to your mgr won't hurt you and you'll feel more at ease while you're hunting. Bite the bullet when you go in this morning, tell your mgr, and take one thing off your mind for the weekend.
posted by mattu at 7:00 PM on May 7, 2015

You telling your boss that you're looking for a new job is like pressing a button labeled "find someone to replace me."
posted by oceanjesse at 7:35 PM on May 7, 2015 [2 favorites]

In the US in 2015, it is assumed that everyone is always looking for a new job, but it is extremely bad form to talk about it explicitly. A lot of those "dentist appointments" are people going to job interviews. Managers aren't dumb, they can figure it out. But it's still better to give them a white lie so they can choose to believe you're staying.
posted by miyabo at 8:56 PM on May 7, 2015

I will need to take the day off to travel to them, and am not sure what to say.

Just book a day of holiday?
posted by EndsOfInvention at 12:39 AM on May 8, 2015

I'm in the US so it might be different in the UK, but nthing the absolutely and complete NO. This is your job, and frankly you owe them nothing. You might do this if it's a small business, if you're personally involved, if you have an amazing (and I mean amazing relationship) with management. But even then, I'd say no. Take personal days, fake sick, try to block schedule, whatever it takes. But don't tell them why, it's really none of their business. Or more accurately, you don't owe them that, you owe them two weeks notice when you leave, and that's it.

Sorry, I'm going through a similar situation at the moment, and I know it can be difficult.
posted by X-Himy at 6:03 AM on May 8, 2015

Is it possible that the company could accommodate you so you wouldn't need to switch your job? I don't know about your situation, but a discussion with your manager about raises or hours could be useful. You can also ask coworkers and look online to see how the company treats such requests. Be careful with all communication with co-workers and bosses.
posted by halifix at 4:12 PM on May 8, 2015