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April 20, 2015 4:18 PM   Subscribe

I can always figure things out. I can think about a personal problem and know how to come at it from a different direction. Now everything has blown up in my face and I don't know what to do.

So in the past year... (In chronological order)

I got into grad school for speech therapy
Quit my job as a special education aide
Moved into my first apartment
Was hit by a car
Had my only friend / ex kill himself
Lost health insurance due to falling into loopholes x 3
Was hit by another car
Failed a mandatory project thrice (I need an 83, keep getting 70-75)
Became increasingly depressed (getting really bad) myself

I have asperger's. So I'll probably be leaving my program. I was previously unemployed for a year and only found work due to nepotism. That job no longer exists (merger, other reasons unrelated to me). My mom sold our home in March so I have nothing to go home to.

I could move in with my dad or sister but I'd prefer homelessness to the levels of shame that would bring. My father especially would never let me live it down (he's not intentionally mean, just oblivious).

I have a meeting tomorrow about said project with my program coordinator, professor, and advocate from disability services (for low vision which has probably impacted my ability to analyze videos I need to).

I don't know how I'll survive, if I want to, or why everything is going to shit.

I have a therapist. I don't know how to keep pushing when everything I loved has been torn away. I have no friends save my deceased friend's mother. I don't know what to do.
posted by Aranquis to Education (1 answer total)

This post was deleted for the following reason: Hey there, I'm so sorry things are feeling so hard right now, but this isn't really a question and it sounds like you really could use some serious in-person help. If you want to talk to a hotline, there are resources at the There is help wiki page, and/or give your therapist a call. -- LobsterMitten

 
Bring all of this up in your meeting tomorrow. You're in an academic program, and people in that environment tend to want to help find a workable solution for all parties. Don't hold anything back, ask questions, and specifically ask for a path forward that helps you get over the hump of this project and into a groove that works for you and your program.

Worry less about shame if that's what would keep you housed. Call your friend's mom, just to say hello and have a chat.

I'm sorry you're in such a rough period. But nothing about this is permanent, that I promise you. Take it (as campy as it sounds) one day at a time, focus on the problems at hand in the order of importance and seek help wherever it's available (your therapist, your advocate, your program, and so on--these people do not want to see you in distress and can help in their own small ways).
posted by late afternoon dreaming hotel at 4:29 PM on April 20, 2015


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