Ghost-writing my own Letter of Recommendation?

April 9, 2015 8:11 PM

Hurrah, my ex-boss agreed to write sign my a letter of recommendation! But I have to write it myself. How do I sound like him?

I asked my former boss to write me a letter of recommendation, and he quickly offered his support. However he requested that I draft the letter (he's not a native English speaker) and he'll add a few thoughts and his signature. The LOR will be submitted along with an essay of my own.
How should I approach this without sounding like I obviously wrote it myself?

posted by mannermode to Work & Money (8 answers total)

Do you have copies of or access to any letters of recommendation people have written for you in the past? It might be helpful to refer to the language they use to describe you - the danger when writing your own letter is that people tend to undersell their own qualifications and strengths. I'd be more cognizant about that than trying to make it sound like him!
posted by estlin at 8:14 PM on April 9, 2015 [1 favorite]

You aren't writing his letter, you're just giving him a starting point. Put yourself in his shoes.
posted by oceanjesse at 8:47 PM on April 9, 2015 [1 favorite]

Don't be too humble. Rec letters usually accentuate only the positive. Because of that any hint of less than wonderful is usually viewed negatively, as if the writer is trying to imply something bad. But be honest in your gushing....give examples of where you've truly been helpful and what your true good points are.
posted by mono blanco at 9:16 PM on April 9, 2015 [1 favorite]

How should I approach this without sounding like I obviously wrote it myself?

Get someone else to draft it.

Then you can improve on that, keeping in mind pointers by estlin and mono blanco, and perhaps tweak it to include phrasing that your boss actually uses.
posted by wonton endangerment at 9:23 PM on April 9, 2015 [1 favorite]

You don't need to make it sound like he wrote it. Write honestly about yourself. If he agrees with it and signs it, it's a totally legit rec letter. If he doesn't agree with it, he will edit it and sign it, or just not sign it and tell you to rewrite it. But there's nothing dishonest about writing your own rec letter as long as your recommender actually signs it. This is SOP for rec letters. These are busy people.
posted by banishedimmortal at 12:26 AM on April 10, 2015 [4 favorites]

Yeah, this is bullshit that some people do.

But, practically, this is an opportunity to tell your supervisor what you think you've been doing well and what areas that you were once weak in, that you've improved on.

Write it as an endorsement of yourself.

Difficulty: if you're super and the supervisor agrees, that's great. If you're a Dunning-Kruger clueless, this approach torches your relationship with said reference.
posted by porpoise at 12:42 AM on April 10, 2015

Best answer: I angsted about this for a long time once, and came up with the following formula, which I am quite proud of.

***

I am delighted to recommend Mannermode for _____. I know Mannermode from [Organization], where I was their _____.

[Organization] is amazing because of X, Y, and Z. In particular, while Mannermode was here we did W.

Mannermode exemplifies the qualities of X, Y, and Z because _____. Their accomplishments include x', which led to [measurable outcome], and y', which led to [other measurable outcome].

Mannermode will bring their outstanding ____ to your organization. I recommend them wholeheartedly.

***

I find that channeling some bragging about [Organization] makes me feel less awkward about praising myself. It also forces a different structure from my other application materials, so I feel less repetitive.
posted by yarntheory at 5:31 AM on April 10, 2015 [18 favorites]

When someone asks me for a LoR, I'll typically ask them to write it. And if they supply me with one, I'll rewrite it (and usually make it more positive). The whole point of asking them to write the letter is a) to remind me of their good deeds (chances are that they remember more stuff better than I) and b) to get them to put some skin in the game and show they're serious (because, believe it or not, sometimes people ask for a LoR before they've really thought it out, and there are few things more annoying than writing such a thing and then being informed "I'm sorry - it turns out I don't need it")(and I'm sorry, I'm no longer your reference, either).
posted by doctor tough love at 6:55 PM on April 10, 2015 [1 favorite]