Appropriate Fancy Fundraiser attire for an Indian-themed event
March 17, 2015 10:29 PM Subscribe
I'm attending a fancy fundraiser soon. The theme is "A trip to India", but probably 1/2 of 1% of those in attendance will be non-white, much less from India or Indian-American. Everyone is expected to dress in "Indian style formal wear". Help me respect the event and the entire country of India, while not embarrassing myself.
(One of the organizers is Indian, however, so I guess that gives the event some credibility). I am a white man and cannot figure out what would be appropriate to wear. If there were no dress requirement a tuxedo would be fine, and it was suggested I should wear a Tuxedo with a Turban, to which I replied that it's not a Sikh-themed event. And no, I cannot skip the event. Apologies in advance as this is the most entitled and absurd question ever but I just couldn't think of anywhere else to turn.
(One of the organizers is Indian, however, so I guess that gives the event some credibility). I am a white man and cannot figure out what would be appropriate to wear. If there were no dress requirement a tuxedo would be fine, and it was suggested I should wear a Tuxedo with a Turban, to which I replied that it's not a Sikh-themed event. And no, I cannot skip the event. Apologies in advance as this is the most entitled and absurd question ever but I just couldn't think of anywhere else to turn.
I agree that a tuxedo is the easiest way out of the dilemma. Perhaps you could cheat by accessorising brightly - pocket square, tie, etc?
posted by averysmallcat at 10:36 PM on March 17, 2015 [7 favorites]
posted by averysmallcat at 10:36 PM on March 17, 2015 [7 favorites]
I guess you could do worse than a Nehru jacket if you can find one.
posted by BungaDunga at 10:39 PM on March 17, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by BungaDunga at 10:39 PM on March 17, 2015 [2 favorites]
Tux. You won't be the only one. FWIW the Indian-Australian men of my acquaintance firmly embrace Western business and formal dress so if anyone challenges you you can argue that a tux counts as Indian style formal wear because many Indian people do wear tuxes as formal wear.
I like the bright/colourful tie or pocket square suggestion though.
posted by lwb at 10:42 PM on March 17, 2015 [4 favorites]
I like the bright/colourful tie or pocket square suggestion though.
posted by lwb at 10:42 PM on March 17, 2015 [4 favorites]
I agree that the chance of cultural appropriation here is quite high and awkward. I'd suggest a plain black Nehru jacket in place of a tuxedo jacket.
Alternately, it is possible to buy pocket squares made of recycled silk saris. You could buy one of those and apply it to your regular tuxedo.
posted by jacquilynne at 10:46 PM on March 17, 2015 [4 favorites]
Alternately, it is possible to buy pocket squares made of recycled silk saris. You could buy one of those and apply it to your regular tuxedo.
posted by jacquilynne at 10:46 PM on March 17, 2015 [4 favorites]
We attended an Indian wedding and the bride requested that we all dress in her culture's attire. We had saris and suits made from Utsav that turned out very well and took a bit less than a month.
posted by saradarlin at 11:09 PM on March 17, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by saradarlin at 11:09 PM on March 17, 2015 [5 favorites]
I'm Indian, grew up in India and do not own a single item of clothing that would count as Indian formal. Of course in India, it counts where you are from too. South Indian formal isn't the same as North Indian just to be very generic about it. I second the pocket squares idea too.
One could say I " firmly embrace Western business and formal dress" too.
posted by viramamunivar at 11:59 PM on March 17, 2015 [1 favorite]
One could say I " firmly embrace Western business and formal dress" too.
posted by viramamunivar at 11:59 PM on March 17, 2015 [1 favorite]
Not just Sikhs wear turbans. This one is apparently a Hindu caste marker in Rajasthan.
posted by irisclara at 12:07 AM on March 18, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by irisclara at 12:07 AM on March 18, 2015 [1 favorite]
Cummerbund or a vest with a paisley design? You can read up on the history of the paisley and why it's a co-opted design from India and the Middle-East if anyone challenges you.
posted by dorothyisunderwood at 1:37 AM on March 18, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by dorothyisunderwood at 1:37 AM on March 18, 2015 [2 favorites]
Good lord. With the caveat that this event is all-over offensive and we all know that:
You could make up a regimental sash to wear with the tux. Same idea but vastly less offensive: a cumberbund made from or simply faced with sari fabric.
Please do not match the bow tie to a patterned cumberbund. This is not a prom.
posted by DarlingBri at 1:45 AM on March 18, 2015 [1 favorite]
You could make up a regimental sash to wear with the tux. Same idea but vastly less offensive: a cumberbund made from or simply faced with sari fabric.
Please do not match the bow tie to a patterned cumberbund. This is not a prom.
posted by DarlingBri at 1:45 AM on March 18, 2015 [1 favorite]
Not sure if this helps, but FWIW Mr. Otter Handler has attended rather fancy events in India through work (he is not Indian) and found that the people who *were* Indian were delighted when he wore traditional attire and weren't offended at all. You would be fine in a fancy kurta and churidar (Fabindia is a terrific retailer online and very reasonable). It is true that there is headgear similar to a turban that is for very fancy occasions; it's actually kind of outmoded, but so are Nehru jackets, which are definitely from a specific time in India's history.
Fun fact: Mr OH attended a wedding in Hyderabad which was meant to be formal and found that many of Indian men dressed in Western business casual, while he was in full Indian regalia, although clearly "authenticity" means something different in the case of your event. If you are more comfortable, a tuxedo with a beautiful silk muffler in a bright color would work too.
posted by Otter_Handler at 3:41 AM on March 18, 2015 [1 favorite]
Fun fact: Mr OH attended a wedding in Hyderabad which was meant to be formal and found that many of Indian men dressed in Western business casual, while he was in full Indian regalia, although clearly "authenticity" means something different in the case of your event. If you are more comfortable, a tuxedo with a beautiful silk muffler in a bright color would work too.
posted by Otter_Handler at 3:41 AM on March 18, 2015 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: Thanks so much for these responses. Always appreciative of the nuanced understanding found in these pages.
posted by carlodio at 6:54 AM on March 18, 2015
posted by carlodio at 6:54 AM on March 18, 2015
definitely go with a tux and a cummerbund. It has historical ties to India
posted by darsh at 10:23 AM on March 18, 2015
posted by darsh at 10:23 AM on March 18, 2015
Indian-American person here. For what it's worth, Nehru jackets and similar styles read to me like fashion, not traditional costume. (I mean, look at Jamal on the TV show Empire! HOT.) So if I saw a non-Indian person wearing one, I'd just appreciate their dapper style.
(Personally I agree with your instincts about the turban - they have meaning, vary depending on culture, etc., so unless the Indian host suggests one, please don't do that.)
And seriously, thanks for asking the question.
posted by synapse at 4:57 PM on March 21, 2015
(Personally I agree with your instincts about the turban - they have meaning, vary depending on culture, etc., so unless the Indian host suggests one, please don't do that.)
And seriously, thanks for asking the question.
posted by synapse at 4:57 PM on March 21, 2015
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by amaire at 10:34 PM on March 17, 2015 [7 favorites]