Parenting Book Club
November 23, 2014 11:45 AM Subscribe
What books would you recommend for new parents who want to read parenting books and talk about them together?
We're first time parents, and we know nothing -- and our knowing nothingness is now becoming more and more obvious to us.
Our lovely child is now 7 months. We've decided that we want to read some quality parenting books -- not just for infants, but for the years to come, to talk them over together. Basically, we want advice, and books that might stimulate some discussion so we can try to be on the same page about this parenting stuff. (One of us grew up in a household where parenting styles were VERY different between the two parents, and it was really difficult to deal with from a child's perspective.)
I know parenting can't be learned from a book, and a lot of it is instinct. But are there any books/articles about raising happy, resilient, independent, curious children that you found really useful or stimulated ideas? Books that include methods of kind discipline are good -- I want to be thinking about this long before it's necessary (obviously not with an infant!) Books about co-parenting are also great, as well as marriage strategies with a child.
But really, we're open to anything!
We're first time parents, and we know nothing -- and our knowing nothingness is now becoming more and more obvious to us.
Our lovely child is now 7 months. We've decided that we want to read some quality parenting books -- not just for infants, but for the years to come, to talk them over together. Basically, we want advice, and books that might stimulate some discussion so we can try to be on the same page about this parenting stuff. (One of us grew up in a household where parenting styles were VERY different between the two parents, and it was really difficult to deal with from a child's perspective.)
I know parenting can't be learned from a book, and a lot of it is instinct. But are there any books/articles about raising happy, resilient, independent, curious children that you found really useful or stimulated ideas? Books that include methods of kind discipline are good -- I want to be thinking about this long before it's necessary (obviously not with an infant!) Books about co-parenting are also great, as well as marriage strategies with a child.
But really, we're open to anything!
My favorite books on parenting:
Parenting from the Inside Out. and anything by Dan Siegel.
Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves by Naomi Aldort
Connection Parenting by Pam Leo.
A parent's mental health (unresolved issues with family of origin, shame/self-worth issues, trauma) is better than any parenting book. Also, try not to yell. Yelling is bad.
posted by Fairchild at 12:11 PM on November 23, 2014 [2 favorites]
Parenting from the Inside Out. and anything by Dan Siegel.
Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves by Naomi Aldort
Connection Parenting by Pam Leo.
A parent's mental health (unresolved issues with family of origin, shame/self-worth issues, trauma) is better than any parenting book. Also, try not to yell. Yelling is bad.
posted by Fairchild at 12:11 PM on November 23, 2014 [2 favorites]
NurtureShock by Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman: basically the science of parenting on a number of fascinating issues. Incredibly well written.
What's going on in there by Lise Eliot: child development for non-scientists. Quite sciency though, maybe too much for some readers.
posted by arcticwoman at 12:31 PM on November 23, 2014 [5 favorites]
What's going on in there by Lise Eliot: child development for non-scientists. Quite sciency though, maybe too much for some readers.
posted by arcticwoman at 12:31 PM on November 23, 2014 [5 favorites]
I know you asked for articles, too, and that reminded me of this concept I came across a few days ago—an articles club (as opposed to a book club). This might be a bit more doable and expose you to even more concepts and cutting-edge/current stuff (this comes to mind). Just a suggestion!
posted by mynameisluka at 1:26 PM on November 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by mynameisluka at 1:26 PM on November 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
I really like "Transforming the Difficult Child" and Howard Glasser's work with the Nurtured Heart Approach. Even if you don't have a difficult child (which you obviously don't, at 7 months), it's a really interesting approach to raising kids that would be lovely to have a discussion about.
posted by checkitnice at 1:46 PM on November 23, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by checkitnice at 1:46 PM on November 23, 2014 [2 favorites]
Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids By Laura Markham
posted by Cygnet at 2:12 PM on November 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by Cygnet at 2:12 PM on November 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
I really, really, really liked All Joy and No Fun. You'll find that once you've read 4 or 5 parenting books they start to get very repetitive and it's difficult to find something with a new approach (Parenting Without Borders suffered from this problem). 'All Joy and No Fun' was an examination of what parenting does TO PARENTS, and it was delightful, well-written, and thought-provoking.
I'll also recommend the blog of Nationwide Children's Hospital and more specifically their excellent Pediacast podcast for general pediatric medicine literacy.
posted by bq at 2:40 PM on November 23, 2014 [3 favorites]
I'll also recommend the blog of Nationwide Children's Hospital and more specifically their excellent Pediacast podcast for general pediatric medicine literacy.
posted by bq at 2:40 PM on November 23, 2014 [3 favorites]
Protecting the Gift: Keeping Children and Teenagers Safe (and Parents Sane) by Gavin DeBecker. Disclaimer - I'm not a parent, and I only read this book because of how much I got out of reading his original "The Gift of Fear" book. I know that a lot of parents say that having had children they find it deeply upsetting to read/watch stories about children being harmed, so some of the scenarios he presents might be tough to read. But I lent it to a co-worker when she was pregnant, and she thought it was great. The book is full of practical advice, and the way the chapters are structured would make for good reading/discussion by section.
posted by oh yeah! at 3:01 PM on November 23, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by oh yeah! at 3:01 PM on November 23, 2014 [2 favorites]
blessing of a skinned knee by Wendy mogel is great, regardless of your religion.
posted by sabh at 6:05 PM on November 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by sabh at 6:05 PM on November 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
I really found The Whole Brain Child by Dan Siegel very useful. It'll be a few years until you get to use the techniques but still good to see what's coming up.
I also recommend just learning about all the stages of development that your child will go through. Here's a good start. So many things that your child does or doesn't do is developmental.
posted by biscuits at 7:18 PM on November 23, 2014
I also recommend just learning about all the stages of development that your child will go through. Here's a good start. So many things that your child does or doesn't do is developmental.
posted by biscuits at 7:18 PM on November 23, 2014
Unconditional Parenting is a great one to get you thinking and stimulate discussion. Some people love Alfie Kohn's ideas and some people hate them, but they're worth thinking and talking about whether or not you end up agreeing with them.
posted by Redstart at 7:19 PM on November 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by Redstart at 7:19 PM on November 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
1-2-3 Magic. It's the only book I've ever read that helped me help my kid behave. I was an only child, I had no idea how to raise a kid and I found it useful.
posted by Bella Donna at 7:43 PM on November 23, 2014
posted by Bella Donna at 7:43 PM on November 23, 2014
I am currently re-reading "Everyday Blessings: The Inner Work of Mindful Parenting" by the amazing Jon Kabat-Zinn and his wife Myla. It's extraordinary. In the same way that if I could only have one cookbook it'd be "How to Cook Everything" by Mark Bittman, if I could only have one parenting book, it'd be this one.
posted by jbickers at 5:46 AM on November 24, 2014
posted by jbickers at 5:46 AM on November 24, 2014
Response by poster: All of these are on the list -- thanks everyone! (And I'm up for more if anyone else is still reading this.)
posted by EtTuHealy at 10:19 AM on November 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by EtTuHealy at 10:19 AM on November 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
I read and enjoy a TON of parenting/family life books with my DH, and here are some we've both appreciated (though we did not 100% agree with everything therein, of course) because they were great food for discussion -
Happier At Home: How I Learned to Pay Attention, Cram My Day with What I Love, Hold More Tightly, Embrace Here, and Remember Now by Gretchen Rubin
Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother by Amy Chua
Selfish Reasons to Have More Kids: Why Being a Great Parent is Less Work and More Fun Than You Think by Bryan Caplan
The Secrets of Happy Families: Improve Your Mornings, Rethink Family Dinner, Fight Smarter, Go Out and Play, and Much More by Bruce Feiler
Overwhelmed: Work, Love, and Play When No One Has the Time by Brigid Schulte
Seconding Bringing Up Bebe by Pamela Druckerman, The Blessing of a Skinned Knee: Using Jewish Teachings to Raise Self-Reliant Children by Wendy Mogel, Protecting the Gift by Gavin DeBecker, and NurtureShock by Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman.
posted by hush at 10:20 AM on November 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
Happier At Home: How I Learned to Pay Attention, Cram My Day with What I Love, Hold More Tightly, Embrace Here, and Remember Now by Gretchen Rubin
Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother by Amy Chua
Selfish Reasons to Have More Kids: Why Being a Great Parent is Less Work and More Fun Than You Think by Bryan Caplan
The Secrets of Happy Families: Improve Your Mornings, Rethink Family Dinner, Fight Smarter, Go Out and Play, and Much More by Bruce Feiler
Overwhelmed: Work, Love, and Play When No One Has the Time by Brigid Schulte
Seconding Bringing Up Bebe by Pamela Druckerman, The Blessing of a Skinned Knee: Using Jewish Teachings to Raise Self-Reliant Children by Wendy Mogel, Protecting the Gift by Gavin DeBecker, and NurtureShock by Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman.
posted by hush at 10:20 AM on November 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
Chiming back in to say @checkitnice gave a great book suggestion here, "Transforming the Difficult Child (The Nurtured Heart Approach)," by Howard Glasser, which I have since had the good fortune of devouring, happily, in one sitting. It's about actively giving attention to positive behaviors, and it works wonders. Very different from the USian norm. Fantastic.
Also seconding All Joy and No Fun by Jennifer Senior. Her TED talk is excellent, too.
posted by hush at 8:05 AM on December 16, 2014
Also seconding All Joy and No Fun by Jennifer Senior. Her TED talk is excellent, too.
posted by hush at 8:05 AM on December 16, 2014
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by Specklet at 12:03 PM on November 23, 2014 [3 favorites]