Work and job search-related depression
October 10, 2014 4:04 PM Subscribe
How can I stop feeling depressed about my job and the fact that nothing is coming up while I job search?
I used to really enjoy my job. It was in my area of college study (communications/journalism) and it was good experience specifically in sports media, where I was hoping to work someday. The hours were, and still are, non-traditional. I have to work every holiday and weekend. I used to be OK with this because I wanted to work for a sports team, which also requires an odd work schedule, and it seemed like good prep for that position.
Fast-forward four years and some employee and management turnover later, and I am burned out from the crazy schedule, the long list of everything I'm expected to remember and the craziness that ensues during major sporting events. I no longer care about this line of work and just want a job that uses my writing and editing skills where the hours are less insane and the competition is less cutthroat. I've thought about changing careers, but when I looked into a suggested path (registered dietitian), it wasn't feasible for my situation, so I abandoned that. I have a second job with a startup doing social media tasks, and I like that, so I've been considering something more on the marketing side (social media or copywriting) that is still closely tied to my college major, but is not journalism.
I'm currently feeling depressed about my situation. I can't focus at work, got a review where I scored low enough on one area that my supervisors are withholding an extra project until it improves (the rest of my review area was fine) and just feel discouraged as colleagues get better jobs or move up within the company. When I job search externally, I basically get crickets and hear stories of how it seems everyone else is getting good jobs...their first choices, no less. It just doesn't seem to be happening for me, and it's led to me comparing myself to others who are seeing success and questioning my self-worth.
Any suggestions on what to do? I'm thinking of getting a therapist, but how can I hang in there in the meantime? Should I look into another career that isn't quite as insane hours-wise? Am I being unreasonable at all here?
I used to really enjoy my job. It was in my area of college study (communications/journalism) and it was good experience specifically in sports media, where I was hoping to work someday. The hours were, and still are, non-traditional. I have to work every holiday and weekend. I used to be OK with this because I wanted to work for a sports team, which also requires an odd work schedule, and it seemed like good prep for that position.
Fast-forward four years and some employee and management turnover later, and I am burned out from the crazy schedule, the long list of everything I'm expected to remember and the craziness that ensues during major sporting events. I no longer care about this line of work and just want a job that uses my writing and editing skills where the hours are less insane and the competition is less cutthroat. I've thought about changing careers, but when I looked into a suggested path (registered dietitian), it wasn't feasible for my situation, so I abandoned that. I have a second job with a startup doing social media tasks, and I like that, so I've been considering something more on the marketing side (social media or copywriting) that is still closely tied to my college major, but is not journalism.
I'm currently feeling depressed about my situation. I can't focus at work, got a review where I scored low enough on one area that my supervisors are withholding an extra project until it improves (the rest of my review area was fine) and just feel discouraged as colleagues get better jobs or move up within the company. When I job search externally, I basically get crickets and hear stories of how it seems everyone else is getting good jobs...their first choices, no less. It just doesn't seem to be happening for me, and it's led to me comparing myself to others who are seeing success and questioning my self-worth.
Any suggestions on what to do? I'm thinking of getting a therapist, but how can I hang in there in the meantime? Should I look into another career that isn't quite as insane hours-wise? Am I being unreasonable at all here?
This is kind of the same advice I've given to another post today, but the key to what you want is the going after it.
Job hunting is weird in that you usually do it when work is going badly and you're feeling negatively, so going into a situation where you're forced to put your best foot forward is hardest.
The only way to change this is to change your attitude; therapy might help, but you also need to move into a different mindset, detach from your current work and feelings about it and look to the future, but that relies on action too.
As a first step My advice would be to dust off your CV and just start applying for stuff just for the fun and practice of it.
Some people are frightened to apply for stuff as they feel that to go for it and not get it would not only be upsetting for them, but you have to remember that apart from one, all the other candidates never get the job either!
Another faulty belief is that failure to impress at interview means they have a big black mark against them from that potential employer / field forever but that's rubbish, in fact it helps hone your approach making your chances that much better!
So go to a few interviews, get a feel for the jobs on offer, the environments, sitting in a room and blowing your own professional trumpet for a while. Use the opportunity to challenge yourself and your performance and hone your craft - and always ask for feedback from interviewers, even if you cringe at some of it. But most of all celebrate your successes on the way, the interviews you get, the positive feedback from interviewers etc, and stay on the horse!
All of this will demistify the process, and in refining your technique you can also narrow your search into something more suitable and sustainable for you and somewhere you can be confident will be a good fit in the future.
posted by Middlemarch at 12:03 AM on October 11, 2014 [4 favorites]
Job hunting is weird in that you usually do it when work is going badly and you're feeling negatively, so going into a situation where you're forced to put your best foot forward is hardest.
The only way to change this is to change your attitude; therapy might help, but you also need to move into a different mindset, detach from your current work and feelings about it and look to the future, but that relies on action too.
As a first step My advice would be to dust off your CV and just start applying for stuff just for the fun and practice of it.
Some people are frightened to apply for stuff as they feel that to go for it and not get it would not only be upsetting for them, but you have to remember that apart from one, all the other candidates never get the job either!
Another faulty belief is that failure to impress at interview means they have a big black mark against them from that potential employer / field forever but that's rubbish, in fact it helps hone your approach making your chances that much better!
So go to a few interviews, get a feel for the jobs on offer, the environments, sitting in a room and blowing your own professional trumpet for a while. Use the opportunity to challenge yourself and your performance and hone your craft - and always ask for feedback from interviewers, even if you cringe at some of it. But most of all celebrate your successes on the way, the interviews you get, the positive feedback from interviewers etc, and stay on the horse!
All of this will demistify the process, and in refining your technique you can also narrow your search into something more suitable and sustainable for you and somewhere you can be confident will be a good fit in the future.
posted by Middlemarch at 12:03 AM on October 11, 2014 [4 favorites]
Lifehacker had an article today: How to Build a Personal Career Plan and Get Out of Your Dead End Job that includes a bit of info about how to evaluate yourself and your career, with the ultimate goal of figuring out "what's next" and how to get there.
One of the things that I've found really helpful when I've struggled with work not appealing to me (for assorted reasons) is to bump up my enthusiasm for non-work things. Hobbies, getting together with friends, joining groups that are unrelated to my job - all of that helps a bit in that it gave my brain something to do beyond rehashing how much my job sucked.
Burn out sucks. I was recently at a workshop about self-care (because I work in the social services field) and there was a lot of talk about how to deal with it. Some good info here, particularly at the bottom where it's all about recovering from burn out and coping with it, rather than preventing it or recognizing it. I agree strongly with the steps listed - and you sound like you're definitely beyond the "am I burning out?" questioning stage. Acknowledging the losses sounded ridiculous to me until I really stopped to think about it.
Support is good. For me, it's about finding good places to vent about what's bothering me, daydream about what I'd like to do instead, and then getting some impartial advice around making changes. A therapist might be a good idea - but even a friend who doesn't work in the same company you do can be great for helping you sort through things. I have been able to confide in various coworkers over the years but that's not always the best idea - only you would know. The nice thing about coworkers is that they know the work environment, they often know how you're viewed by other people, and they can give you advice (though sometimes it can be hard to hear if it that info confirms your negative feelings).
In terms of dealing with your current performance issues.. oof. Do everything that you can to stop comparing yourself to your coworkers. I know that's hard, but it's not doing you any favours if you're demotivating yourself by doing it. If your scheduled allows, try to get a solid day to organize your current work as best you can to help prevent further sliding - and if you feel comfortable and it seems like a good idea, sit down with your supervisor/team/whomever and map out a plan of attack for anything that's not fully on track project-wise. Check lists are good. Measurable goals with deadlines are awesome.
If you can't quit, and you know you're not likely to get promoted, start looking into some sort of training - even if it's just a weekend workshop. It doesn't have to be a graduate degree or some expensive, fancy course - online courses, volunteering, anything that gets you some extra skills in another area (or improves the skills where you already are) is another thing that you can put on your resume and another boost of confidence. (Even something that just ignites a bit of passion can help a lot in terms of keeping your spirits up.)
posted by VioletU at 8:47 AM on October 11, 2014 [1 favorite]
One of the things that I've found really helpful when I've struggled with work not appealing to me (for assorted reasons) is to bump up my enthusiasm for non-work things. Hobbies, getting together with friends, joining groups that are unrelated to my job - all of that helps a bit in that it gave my brain something to do beyond rehashing how much my job sucked.
Burn out sucks. I was recently at a workshop about self-care (because I work in the social services field) and there was a lot of talk about how to deal with it. Some good info here, particularly at the bottom where it's all about recovering from burn out and coping with it, rather than preventing it or recognizing it. I agree strongly with the steps listed - and you sound like you're definitely beyond the "am I burning out?" questioning stage. Acknowledging the losses sounded ridiculous to me until I really stopped to think about it.
Support is good. For me, it's about finding good places to vent about what's bothering me, daydream about what I'd like to do instead, and then getting some impartial advice around making changes. A therapist might be a good idea - but even a friend who doesn't work in the same company you do can be great for helping you sort through things. I have been able to confide in various coworkers over the years but that's not always the best idea - only you would know. The nice thing about coworkers is that they know the work environment, they often know how you're viewed by other people, and they can give you advice (though sometimes it can be hard to hear if it that info confirms your negative feelings).
In terms of dealing with your current performance issues.. oof. Do everything that you can to stop comparing yourself to your coworkers. I know that's hard, but it's not doing you any favours if you're demotivating yourself by doing it. If your scheduled allows, try to get a solid day to organize your current work as best you can to help prevent further sliding - and if you feel comfortable and it seems like a good idea, sit down with your supervisor/team/whomever and map out a plan of attack for anything that's not fully on track project-wise. Check lists are good. Measurable goals with deadlines are awesome.
If you can't quit, and you know you're not likely to get promoted, start looking into some sort of training - even if it's just a weekend workshop. It doesn't have to be a graduate degree or some expensive, fancy course - online courses, volunteering, anything that gets you some extra skills in another area (or improves the skills where you already are) is another thing that you can put on your resume and another boost of confidence. (Even something that just ignites a bit of passion can help a lot in terms of keeping your spirits up.)
posted by VioletU at 8:47 AM on October 11, 2014 [1 favorite]
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posted by Bonzai at 4:17 PM on October 10, 2014 [3 favorites]