Seperating 2 dogs during move/relationship seperation?
June 28, 2014 12:47 PM   Subscribe

I am moving to New York for work, and would like my dog to come with me. My husband and I are going to be long-distance for a year, and possibly more. I am the "dog person" in our relationship, and we have 2 dogs. I want to make the healthiest decision for my animals in terms of their dynamic during a seperation/move. Deets on dogs inside.

Dog #1 is smaller(20 lbs), bonded to me, and has really awful anxiety/ behavior problems when I'm gone for a while. We've also never been seperated for more than a month at a time. I feel as though I'd be able to find a living situation in my budget, while having one dog. He has spent half of his life with dog#2, and I've had him since before husband's and my 5 year relationship began.Definately "my" dog that I feel responsible for.

Dog #2 is perfectly behaved, and has spent her entire life with dog #1. I would love to bring her, but I don't think I'd be able to find a sublet or room mate that would be okay with throwing 2 dogs into their mix. She's very close to my husband, but I'm the one who mainly takes care of her semi-special considerations, which hubby neglects. (needs special food, has mild skin issues, taking care of her long hair)

I'm worried my husband will neglect dog #2's care if I leave her home, also that dog #1's health will be affected if I leave for a prolonged period of time. If I leave them at home, they wouldn't have as much human contact time, as my husband will be out of the house the majority of the time. (school/work/internship) I adore my dogs and don't want to be away from them!!

What can I do? Is it unheard of to move to the city with 2 dogs? Should I leave them at home if I only plan on staying in NY for a year or two? Any insight would be appreciated.
posted by Kestrelxo to Pets & Animals (7 answers total)
"I'm worried my husband will neglect dog #2's care if I leave her home,"

That would be the deciding factor for me....
posted by HuronBob at 12:52 PM on June 28, 2014 [9 favorites]

A few alternate options - if you think your housing would get more expensive with two dogs, or you might not find a place:

1. Long term boarding options (probably not in the city, due to expense) that would be able to handle the second dog's special considerations.
2. A friend or family member who might be willing to foster/house/care for the second dog during that time and would properly deal with its special considerations.
3. Pay someone to come in and handle the stuff that your spouse might neglect and have her still live with him. You could likely set up a service or an individual to deliver the special food (if it's pre-made), or have someone come in to prep it. Have a mobile groomer come to the house and deal with the skin/hair issues instead of expecting him to take her in or deal with it himself.

The cost of dog care + cheaper housing might come out to less than you'd pay for housing with two dogs.
posted by HermitDog at 1:01 PM on June 28, 2014

You may have to raise the tough question with hubby about whether or not his home is the right place for dog #2 or if it might be better for the dog to find him a new home.
posted by bleep at 1:07 PM on June 28, 2014

Is husband willing to take care of dog 2? Has he been eschewing that dog's special needs because he knows you'll take care of it? He may be especially lonely with you and dog 1 away as it is and decide to devote more time to dog 2, especially since he's already sorta close to them.

Unless he's told you he just can't/won't, I'd set up food delivery ans grooming appoinments and give him a chance to care for dog 2. If he finds it too much, then you have a new bridge to cross.

How often will you be returning home?
posted by Ufez Jones at 1:14 PM on June 28, 2014

When you say New York, do you mean NYC? Because finding a place that will accept one dog is tough enough there - let alone two. And you're considering two dogs on top of everything else that sucks about finding a place in NYC?

posted by sevensnowflakes at 1:18 PM on June 28, 2014

I'm moving to NYC.

I'm understanding that I should try to bring #1 with me, and make sure #2 is in a edit: place where her needs can be cared for, not necessarily with me in the city? I will be returning home to visit twice, optimally.
posted by Kestrelxo at 1:42 PM on June 28, 2014

Probably going to be an unpopular opinion, but I would either find an apartment that will accept both dogs, or I would keep the job you're in now. Pets are absolutely a responsibility that you take on for life, sorry. Unless you are unemployed right now, they are your first responsibility.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 2:47 PM on June 28, 2014 [9 favorites]

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