Networking advice please
October 7, 2013 12:05 PM   Subscribe

Business Networking for a nervous nellie who wants to be a natural

My partner and I moved to Tampa/St Petersburg area recently from Denver. I took most of the summer off and gave thought to my career. After much thought, I decided to start a one-woman show, or when stated appropriately, a small human resources consulting firm.

I'm finding my way through all the starting a business stuff - this is not the issue. I'm preparing to showcase my expertise by taking the licensure exam (SPHR). I love HR, and I'm confident about the field of work. As far as owning my own business- I have a good work ethic and understand it is hard work to be an entrepreneur. (Although if you have any ideas, please share, it's just not my question.) Financially, I am prepared to not make any profit for 1-2 years. If that point it isn't profitable, it will be time to end it likely.

My concerns are, 1) I have a huge fear I will not get any clients. Ever- at all. This is doubtful. I've created a marketing plan and I know I will get a client. I just had to throw it out there because it does scare me.

But my real question is about networking. Networking is big here and I've joined a few groups/meetups to see which seem worthy. I will try a few different ones to see which feel best to me. I can be shy with strangers and have a bit of social anxiety (nothing to make it impossible for me to do this however). And specifically, if someone comes up to me and starts chatting, I can do well and talk back. But the idea of ME walking up to someone or a group is mortifying.

I refer to myself as shy, but not timid. It is incredibly intimidating for me to walk up to someone I don't know and begin chatting. However, I will have to do it and I knew this would be a struggle for me when I decided to start this company. My business is the type that most people will not "need" my services initially but hopefully will think of me when the need comes. So I will need to network my feet off. Sigh.

The time has come, all my business starting tasks are complete and this is my week with networking events scheduled. I must go forth and network

So tl; dr: tips on networking for a slightly socially anxious person--how do you do it successfully with a new consulting business, and in a new city?


Thanks.
posted by Kitty Cornered to Work & Money (8 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
 
Best answer: Networking is about giving people what THEY need. So find out what they need, and give it to them. Then they will hopefully remember you. Otherwise, you're just some schmoe asking them for money.

IMO real networking is about making real connections with people. And you connect with them when you see who they are, what they love, and what they need. What they need varies - in the moment, they may need someone to talk to so they're not alone at this party, or they might need a hand carrying that thing, or they may need to know the number of a really good pet therapist, or a good book recommendation or.... you get the idea. When you give them what they need, they will remember you, and that's your "in" to say "well I'm here because of my company that does XYZ." Just a small blurb, but that's your connection.

Also, from the Bill Clinton school of networking*, make an effort to remember people's names, and at the end of each exchange get the person's card and write a small blurb about that person on the back "chatted about duvet covers" or "I cracked that joke about elephants" or "she's really really into Jethro Tull." This will help you remember them, and you can reference it later when contacting them. "Hey Jennifer I saw this Jethro Tull tribute band playing and thought I'd email you the concert date. Cheers!"

My super social friend says whenever he meets a new person, he focuses on making them feel good, and whatever he can do to make them feel good makes him feel good.

And don't worry if you're nervous - think of this as you putting the business first. This makes it a little less personal (for you) and so it should be easier to handle your nerves.

*school does not actually exist
posted by St. Peepsburg at 12:17 PM on October 7, 2013 [3 favorites]


Just ask questions, answer questions succinctly, and move on after five minutes. Follow-up by email the next day.
posted by KokuRyu at 12:29 PM on October 7, 2013


Seconding that it's really about making connections, not just 3 minutes of social chit chat before you move to the next person.

Like you, I am a shy person - I avoid big gatherings where I don't know more than a couple of people, although I do fine in small groups. What I have found helped me on the professional aspect of this is to get involved in something specific to the group. So for example, if one of the groups you're interested in has an events committee, or are looking for volunteers for project X, get involved. It gives you a set of people that you will know well enough to chat with at the next meetup reasonably quickly, and that kickstarts the networking as they will then make introductions for you.

This also addresses St. Peepsburg's point above that networking is about giving people what THEY need.
posted by darsh at 12:29 PM on October 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


About collecting business cards: not everyone has one, so a friend of mine had some printed up with blank lines on it for Name, Company, Phone, Email. If he wants a business card for someone who doesn't have one, he hands them a blank on and asks if they would mind filling it out.
posted by CathyG at 12:45 PM on October 7, 2013


Networking is weird. If it's a general business networking event or Chamber of Commerce type of thing everybody there is going to be looking for clients for whatever they do, and what they do is all over the place. You'll go from chatting with a sales rep from a F500 company to the dentist around the corner. The networking at those events does tend to be more shallow. Introduce yourself, find out what the other person does, ask a couple of questions, get a card and move on while hoping you find 2 or 3 worth following up with. Have a couple of goto questions ready if you are talking to a good target - something that will motivate them to want to meet with you to learn more about what you can do for them.

If it's an industry event, like an HR industry event, it's a little different. Everybody there is sort of pre-qualified as a possible client. So you want to go in with a little more of a game plan. Have a few target clients that you expect to be there and have a specific idea of what you can do for them. For example, Company X just merged with Company Y and you have extensive experience helping companies merge into a cohesive organization under one set of HR policies, or whatever.
posted by COD at 12:51 PM on October 7, 2013


Best answer: I struggle with this a lot too. For me, the challenge is 95% conversation initiation.

I don't know what your comfort level is with speaking in front of groups or if these sorts of events even offer that kind of opportunity, but I find that works really well for me. I can talk about whatever I'm working on in a sort of controlled format, and then people who want to talk come to me. It's like magic. The hard part for me has always been starting conversations because it seems sort of presumptuous to just walk up to start a conversation without a reason. I know intellectually I don't need a reason, but that's just never been easy. But having a booth or giving a talk or in some way broadcasting why people should come talk to me is effective.

This advice about being memorable might also be useful. One of the pieces he recommends is wearing consistent and unusual clothing. People will tend to remember you much more, plus (and though he doesn't say this, I've seen it happen) it gives people an immediate thing to comment on to open a conversation, which is really all you're trying to do as far as I'm concerned.
posted by heresiarch at 1:03 PM on October 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


Best answer: Here's a piece from the SF Examiner about networking for the small businessperson. It's basically the ability to expand your web of relationships, so that they can work in your favor in landing work.

Agree that starting is the hardest part - and that conversations have a certain flow to them. It really helps to find out some kind of common ground, and also to take a genuine interest in what other people are doing, what other people are interested in, what other people's problems are that they are trying to solve.

In the new city and environs, perhaps you could make it a 'nice to have' goal that at your first event you find someone you are compatible with that would agree to go with you to your second networking event, so that you have at least one person you already know at that event #2? And the 'must have' goal for the first event would be you initiating a certain number of conversations using some small talk to get things going.
posted by scooterdog at 6:50 PM on October 7, 2013


Response by poster: Thank you everyone. I wanted to be obnoxious and mark all as favorite but I just marked the ones that resonate with me the most. I am going to my first networking event tonight and now I have all of the advice to urge me into the room and up to someone.
posted by Kitty Cornered at 6:33 AM on October 8, 2013


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