I'll take everything but the odor, please.
September 20, 2013 11:50 AM Subscribe
It's almost baby-time (our first) and we're still in the process of getting stuff we need (or just think we might need.) There's a very obvious and willing source in my sister-in-law, who has very generously offered SO MANY THINGS to us, all of which we would love to have, espcially for free. The problem is that she smokes and everything that comes out of her house smells like cigarettes. This is a two-parter.
#1: The things she wants to give us (pack n play, bassinet, rocking chair) are things she knows we don't have and would like to have. How can we politely say that we don't want her stuff without making her feel bad about the reason? Before I knew everything smelled like smoke, (which I found out after taking one piece of furniture home) I told her that I would take everything I could get for free and would appreciate anything she had to give me.
#2: Is there a way to get the smoke smell out of these large items so that we can take them? I've got some Febreeze, which I've been using on the one big piece of furniture she gave us, though it doesn't seem to be working. The difficulty lies in the fact that we're in an apartment and don't have outdoor space to let stuff air out.
Thank you in advance for your help!
#1: The things she wants to give us (pack n play, bassinet, rocking chair) are things she knows we don't have and would like to have. How can we politely say that we don't want her stuff without making her feel bad about the reason? Before I knew everything smelled like smoke, (which I found out after taking one piece of furniture home) I told her that I would take everything I could get for free and would appreciate anything she had to give me.
#2: Is there a way to get the smoke smell out of these large items so that we can take them? I've got some Febreeze, which I've been using on the one big piece of furniture she gave us, though it doesn't seem to be working. The difficulty lies in the fact that we're in an apartment and don't have outdoor space to let stuff air out.
Thank you in advance for your help!
Febreeze is gross and often irritating to those with sensitive skin (like babies!). If you can't let it sit in the sun for several days, and even that's not a guaranteed fix, you can pretty much write it off.
I think you're just going to have to be blunt about the smell. Do you or your partner have allergies? You could blame the allergies and make it less "eww you're a gross person."
posted by chiababe at 11:56 AM on September 20, 2013 [6 favorites]
I think you're just going to have to be blunt about the smell. Do you or your partner have allergies? You could blame the allergies and make it less "eww you're a gross person."
posted by chiababe at 11:56 AM on September 20, 2013 [6 favorites]
Sometimes washing the furniture with a scouring pad and soap will get rid of the smell.
posted by yohko at 11:58 AM on September 20, 2013
posted by yohko at 11:58 AM on September 20, 2013
For hard surfaces, soap and hot water in the bathtub. Get your husband to do it.
For soft/cloth surfaces, a machine like this _might_ help, but maybe only temporarily, and the cost would perhaps offset any savings you would have. Plus, it takes time, work, and energy, which you probably don't have.
If you do use the machine: I'd recommend spraying the surface with an unscented cleaner (even if you like perfumey scents, they'll cover the scent you're trying to remove, and dissipate before it does -- so you won't know how successful you are). Let it soak in only for the briefest of times (let it go longer if you need a deeper clean), then use the machine with hot water only -- don't add cleaner to the machine's reservoir. That way, you're less likely to have residual soap on the item you're cleaning (and which your baby will put into his or her mouth).
If it were me, though, I'd not take the stuff.
posted by amtho at 12:02 PM on September 20, 2013
For soft/cloth surfaces, a machine like this _might_ help, but maybe only temporarily, and the cost would perhaps offset any savings you would have. Plus, it takes time, work, and energy, which you probably don't have.
If you do use the machine: I'd recommend spraying the surface with an unscented cleaner (even if you like perfumey scents, they'll cover the scent you're trying to remove, and dissipate before it does -- so you won't know how successful you are). Let it soak in only for the briefest of times (let it go longer if you need a deeper clean), then use the machine with hot water only -- don't add cleaner to the machine's reservoir. That way, you're less likely to have residual soap on the item you're cleaning (and which your baby will put into his or her mouth).
If it were me, though, I'd not take the stuff.
posted by amtho at 12:02 PM on September 20, 2013
NO FEBREEZE!!!!!
Google "phthalates."
Febreeze has chemicals that are bad for your baby. The chemicals in the cigarette smoke is also very bad for your baby.
Vinegar and baking soda for fabrics and wood. I would not take anything plastic because plastic gets ruined by cigarette smoke and that's A Thing.
I am a secret once-in-a-blue-moon smoker with a toddler. I'm not judging, yo. Just letting you know the deal.
posted by jbenben at 12:03 PM on September 20, 2013 [10 favorites]
Google "phthalates."
Febreeze has chemicals that are bad for your baby. The chemicals in the cigarette smoke is also very bad for your baby.
Vinegar and baking soda for fabrics and wood. I would not take anything plastic because plastic gets ruined by cigarette smoke and that's A Thing.
I am a secret once-in-a-blue-moon smoker with a toddler. I'm not judging, yo. Just letting you know the deal.
posted by jbenben at 12:03 PM on September 20, 2013 [10 favorites]
I don't think there's a smoker alive who doesn't know that smoking leaves a nasty smell in, well, everything. I think you just need to be honest.
"Thank you, that's very generous of you, but honestly I can't take the smell of the smoke and certainly don't want to expose my baby to it."
We got a rug from my wife's uncle when he died and twelve years on and two cleanings later it still smells like we got it from a smoker. A rug is going to hold smell more than a Pack and Play might, but if you're sensitive you're always going to smell it. Plus the plastic might be stained as well.
posted by bondcliff at 12:04 PM on September 20, 2013 [3 favorites]
"Thank you, that's very generous of you, but honestly I can't take the smell of the smoke and certainly don't want to expose my baby to it."
We got a rug from my wife's uncle when he died and twelve years on and two cleanings later it still smells like we got it from a smoker. A rug is going to hold smell more than a Pack and Play might, but if you're sensitive you're always going to smell it. Plus the plastic might be stained as well.
posted by bondcliff at 12:04 PM on September 20, 2013 [3 favorites]
All of these have been mentioned, but as a firefighter who has to get smoke smell out of her things occasionally... Sunlight , baking soda, vinegar, steam cleaning, and worst-case scenario, an ozone generator (call up a hotel, a used car dealership, or a post-fire restoration company and if you play up the pregnancy thing they may let you borrow one for a day or so). Don't expect these to work on certain kinds of plastic, and make sure you get all the crevices/folds/drawers.
posted by skyl1n3 at 12:08 PM on September 20, 2013 [5 favorites]
posted by skyl1n3 at 12:08 PM on September 20, 2013 [5 favorites]
Can you sand and refinish the furniture?
posted by JohnnyGunn at 12:12 PM on September 20, 2013
posted by JohnnyGunn at 12:12 PM on September 20, 2013
After we had a house fire, a restoration company treated some of our belongings in what they called an "ozone chamber." If you live in a big city, give one of those companies a call and maybe they can offer a solution. At some point, though, the hassle outweighs the benefit of the free stuff. Good luck!
posted by MelissaSimon at 12:14 PM on September 20, 2013
posted by MelissaSimon at 12:14 PM on September 20, 2013
Don't take upholstered or plastic items. Those materials will be especially hard to remove the residues/smells from. If the rocking chair is all wood, your partner can clean that with hot soapy water and maybe a wipe-down with rubbing alcohol or vinegar.
No Febreeze or other scented sprays.
Honestly, I'd just tell her thanks but no thanks. Tell her you can't remove the smoke smell in your current set-up. She knows all her stuff stinks from smoke.
posted by quince at 12:15 PM on September 20, 2013 [2 favorites]
No Febreeze or other scented sprays.
Honestly, I'd just tell her thanks but no thanks. Tell her you can't remove the smoke smell in your current set-up. She knows all her stuff stinks from smoke.
posted by quince at 12:15 PM on September 20, 2013 [2 favorites]
Baking soda, vinegar, lots of fresh air & sunshine for the hard stuff like wood; it MIGHT work on plastic, but then again it might not (and the plastic is probably permanently stained anyway).
I'm sorry, but any soft stuff (mattress pads, any kind of cloth or cushion) is probably a total loss.
posted by easily confused at 12:20 PM on September 20, 2013
I'm sorry, but any soft stuff (mattress pads, any kind of cloth or cushion) is probably a total loss.
posted by easily confused at 12:20 PM on September 20, 2013
Oh, and don't use the baking soda and vinegar TOGETHER! Only use one or the other.
posted by easily confused at 12:22 PM on September 20, 2013
posted by easily confused at 12:22 PM on September 20, 2013
My husband's favorite recliner (stuffed, upholstered) was "stored" for 6 years in his mom's living room. Both his mom and his sister smoke heavily. He decided to bring it home his last trip, and it's sitting in our living room, scent-free.
A week before he drove out there (they're about 14 hrs away) he asked them to put it in the garage. So it was outside-ish for five days. When he arrived, he coated it with baking soda. The next day, he vacuumed it all off and re-coated. He did that for three days. The fourth day, he steam cleaned it and wiped down the wooden bits with vinegar. On day 5, he loaded it into his Jeep and drove home for 14 hours with the windows down.
The key points here:
> he had a LOT of time to work on it thanks to vacation days
> he had a LOT of outdoorsy space to work in
> he REALLY wanted the darn chair
> he is not pregnant
So it *is* possible, but my gosh it was a lot of work.
posted by kimberussell at 12:30 PM on September 20, 2013 [5 favorites]
A week before he drove out there (they're about 14 hrs away) he asked them to put it in the garage. So it was outside-ish for five days. When he arrived, he coated it with baking soda. The next day, he vacuumed it all off and re-coated. He did that for three days. The fourth day, he steam cleaned it and wiped down the wooden bits with vinegar. On day 5, he loaded it into his Jeep and drove home for 14 hours with the windows down.
The key points here:
> he had a LOT of time to work on it thanks to vacation days
> he had a LOT of outdoorsy space to work in
> he REALLY wanted the darn chair
> he is not pregnant
So it *is* possible, but my gosh it was a lot of work.
posted by kimberussell at 12:30 PM on September 20, 2013 [5 favorites]
"Thank you, that's very generous of you, but honestly I can't take the smell of the smoke and certainly don't want to expose my baby to it."
Yeah, no. That's the sort of comment that causes Parent Wars.
The polite and tactful thing to do is to make it your shortcoming and not hers: "Thank you, that's very generous of you, but I am super sensitive to smells right now - I'm sure you know how it is - and I can't cope with anything that absorbs smoke odors, I'm so, so sorry."
If she pushes, say "Well, we'd love to try!"
However, what you (or actually, your partner or a friend) CAN do is scrub and clean everything with a solution of TSP and water and then rinse or wipe it well. It is amazing at removing smoke residue and is safe to use on nursery walls, so it should be fine for baby things except the bassinet, which I think you're just going to have to pass on. (You can tell her your mum got you one, a friend already gave you one - they're really cheap!)
posted by DarlingBri at 12:36 PM on September 20, 2013 [7 favorites]
Yeah, no. That's the sort of comment that causes Parent Wars.
The polite and tactful thing to do is to make it your shortcoming and not hers: "Thank you, that's very generous of you, but I am super sensitive to smells right now - I'm sure you know how it is - and I can't cope with anything that absorbs smoke odors, I'm so, so sorry."
If she pushes, say "Well, we'd love to try!"
However, what you (or actually, your partner or a friend) CAN do is scrub and clean everything with a solution of TSP and water and then rinse or wipe it well. It is amazing at removing smoke residue and is safe to use on nursery walls, so it should be fine for baby things except the bassinet, which I think you're just going to have to pass on. (You can tell her your mum got you one, a friend already gave you one - they're really cheap!)
posted by DarlingBri at 12:36 PM on September 20, 2013 [7 favorites]
I lived with a heavy smoker for several years, and I'm a clean-freak. Cleaning and time will take care of the smoke smell on harder surfaces, including wood. I would suggest taking a few of the harder-surfaced items, and just clean them well. Burn scented candles when the smoke smell bothers you, and keep the windows open as much as possible. Over time the odor will fade. Old smoke smell is not the same as second-hand smoke and will not harm the baby.
posted by Koko at 1:03 PM on September 20, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by Koko at 1:03 PM on September 20, 2013 [1 favorite]
"Fantastic" all purpose cleaner cuts through smoke gunk fairly well. Ammonia does too, but it is stinky. Anything that calls itself a degreaser.
The best thing would be to take the things as far apart as you can, put them in the bathtub, and dowse them with your cleaner. Let it sit, then scrub with a soft bristle brush. You should see the gunk wash right off. Then rinse it really well and let it dry. If you don't have an outside to let the things dry, you can create one in a bedroom: have a window fan pulling air out of the room, and then another fan (or ceiling fan) blowing on the stuff.
Another great option for these kinds of projects is the coin-op manual carwash.
If any of the stuff is older wood, you might get away with washing it with Murphy's Oil soap, rinsing and letting it dry. Followed by an application of a Pledge type of furniture polish/oil.
As far as I know, TSP isn't available in the States anymore because of the phosphates. There is something they *call* TSP, but I don't know how well it works.
For anything you can throw in the washing machine, a good soak in an OxyClean kind of stuff followed by double rinsing should take care of the smells. (Clorox 2 liquid might be helpful too.)
(And yes, Febreeze has its purposes, but this isn't it. It doesn't clean or eliminate odors, it just sort of encapsulates the offending molecules. The dirt and gunk is still there.)
posted by gjc at 1:10 PM on September 20, 2013
The best thing would be to take the things as far apart as you can, put them in the bathtub, and dowse them with your cleaner. Let it sit, then scrub with a soft bristle brush. You should see the gunk wash right off. Then rinse it really well and let it dry. If you don't have an outside to let the things dry, you can create one in a bedroom: have a window fan pulling air out of the room, and then another fan (or ceiling fan) blowing on the stuff.
Another great option for these kinds of projects is the coin-op manual carwash.
If any of the stuff is older wood, you might get away with washing it with Murphy's Oil soap, rinsing and letting it dry. Followed by an application of a Pledge type of furniture polish/oil.
As far as I know, TSP isn't available in the States anymore because of the phosphates. There is something they *call* TSP, but I don't know how well it works.
For anything you can throw in the washing machine, a good soak in an OxyClean kind of stuff followed by double rinsing should take care of the smells. (Clorox 2 liquid might be helpful too.)
(And yes, Febreeze has its purposes, but this isn't it. It doesn't clean or eliminate odors, it just sort of encapsulates the offending molecules. The dirt and gunk is still there.)
posted by gjc at 1:10 PM on September 20, 2013
No matter how clean you might think you'd be able to get something, my vote would be to strongly avoid giving a baby any "free" things covered/impregnated with known carcinogens/allergens.
posted by blueberry at 2:03 PM on September 20, 2013 [4 favorites]
posted by blueberry at 2:03 PM on September 20, 2013 [4 favorites]
ozone generator
THIS THIS
This will get the smell out of anything. My friend has a gigantic old hotel one he got an estate sale, and bought an old car that absolutely freaking reeked of mold and cigarette smoke. He left it running in there for something like 48 hours and the car didn't smell like anything. Not even a little bit. Not even if you mashed your face into the seats.(eventually the mold came back because the t-tops leaked, so it stinks now, but not like cigs). He's used it on a number of other things since then.
Take everything and put it in a room with an ozone generator and let it run for a couple days. 86 anything that stinks afterwards, but honestly i've seen it get the smell out of all kinds of plastics and synthetic materials. It basically removes funk from anything. Bear in mind that you don't want the thing just running in a room you're sitting in as it's erm, not great for you(not in a chemically way, don't worry). Do it in an extra bedroom or a closet or something. You don't need some airtight seal, it's in no way super toxic, you mostly just want it in a sealed off space so it can really blast the stinky stuff with ozone.
As for where to get one, call up every hertz equipment rental type place and maybe even some hotels in your town and ask. I swear i've seen one at a "handy andy rent-a-tool" type place before i knew what they looked like, thinking back on it(and was wondering "what the hell is that weird ass thing")
And yea also fuck febreeze, i would rather smell cigarette smoke for the rest of my life than use that stuff. Not even getting in to the fact that it's actually bad for you(or at least, babies) it's just disgusting.
posted by emptythought at 2:31 PM on September 20, 2013 [2 favorites]
THIS THIS
This will get the smell out of anything. My friend has a gigantic old hotel one he got an estate sale, and bought an old car that absolutely freaking reeked of mold and cigarette smoke. He left it running in there for something like 48 hours and the car didn't smell like anything. Not even a little bit. Not even if you mashed your face into the seats.(eventually the mold came back because the t-tops leaked, so it stinks now, but not like cigs). He's used it on a number of other things since then.
Take everything and put it in a room with an ozone generator and let it run for a couple days. 86 anything that stinks afterwards, but honestly i've seen it get the smell out of all kinds of plastics and synthetic materials. It basically removes funk from anything. Bear in mind that you don't want the thing just running in a room you're sitting in as it's erm, not great for you(not in a chemically way, don't worry). Do it in an extra bedroom or a closet or something. You don't need some airtight seal, it's in no way super toxic, you mostly just want it in a sealed off space so it can really blast the stinky stuff with ozone.
As for where to get one, call up every hertz equipment rental type place and maybe even some hotels in your town and ask. I swear i've seen one at a "handy andy rent-a-tool" type place before i knew what they looked like, thinking back on it(and was wondering "what the hell is that weird ass thing")
And yea also fuck febreeze, i would rather smell cigarette smoke for the rest of my life than use that stuff. Not even getting in to the fact that it's actually bad for you(or at least, babies) it's just disgusting.
posted by emptythought at 2:31 PM on September 20, 2013 [2 favorites]
Don't take any of the items, you really don't want your baby sleeping in or playing in something that has cigarette residue on it. It's not worth the risk. Fabreeze will just add to the chemical cocktail. Their little infant skin is so sensitive you want to avoid any scented products. If the rocking chair is all wood with no fabric, maybe that but I'd really just pass on the whole lot. If you feel you need to give a reason, just say another friend or family member beat her to it.
posted by JenMarie at 4:18 PM on September 20, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by JenMarie at 4:18 PM on September 20, 2013 [2 favorites]
Febreeze is disgusting, in my experience, and often it combines its super perfumey-smell along with the original smell to create olfactory hell. I would try using something like Nok-Out instead. This stuff did for me what a thousand bottles of stanky Febreeze could not. According to their website, it is non-toxic and safe for people to be around. Best of all, it has no smell.
posted by Ouisch at 7:23 PM on September 20, 2013
posted by Ouisch at 7:23 PM on September 20, 2013
You don't want to put your teeny tiny perfect baby in a pack n play that stinks like smoke! Smoke exposure is linked to SIDs. Just say "no thanks, we decided to get all new furniture." A pack n play costs like $50, seriously. You can accept baby clothes and blankets since you can wash them.
posted by yarly at 7:28 PM on September 20, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by yarly at 7:28 PM on September 20, 2013 [1 favorite]
Things like a pack-n-play can be spritzed with vinegar water, and washed in the tub with lots of sudsy (laundry detergent) water and rinsed really well. Painted furniture can be washed really well. Bassinet, probably not. Anything upholstered, probably not.
posted by theora55 at 8:00 PM on September 20, 2013
posted by theora55 at 8:00 PM on September 20, 2013
Koko: "Old smoke smell is not the same as second-hand smoke and will not harm the baby."
Actually, that's not true.
posted by LuckySeven~ at 8:12 PM on September 20, 2013 [2 favorites]
Actually, that's not true.
posted by LuckySeven~ at 8:12 PM on September 20, 2013 [2 favorites]
Best answer: If I were about to pop out a baby (and I remember being in that situation), the last thing I'd want to do is dissassemble and wash a lot of stinky secondhand stuff in the hopes that it might maybe get the smell out.
Be polite, make it about your allergies, and don't take it. She may decide to be A Jerk about it, but you can't control that. Smoke and smoke residue is bad for babies, especially where they sleep. And your baby has to come first. Not to mention you..the aversion to strong smells may stick around even after birth, you know.
You don't need a lot of stuff right away, anyway. Bassinets are only good for three months (especially if you're like me and have giant babies). Rocking chairs can be found anywhere, and are nice but not strictly necessary. Pack n' Plays--we got one for 30.00 nearly new on Craigslist.
Take all the money you would be spending on ozone machines, Febreeze, wood stain, paint and cleansers and spend it on getting new stuff that you need right away, and then getting the extras as you have cash later.
And congratulations! Best wishes for you and your new little one.
Oh wait, I forgot a story. So my lovely wonderful mother in law is maybe not so aware of the massive changes in cribs since my husband was born. She offered me the 40-year-old, 1970s-era, wobbly rusty metal-spring monstrosity of a crib when our son was born. We took it, because we were poor, and once I got a good look at it, I said "No way in hell." So we put it on the curb when they didn't want it back. And I never regretted it, though I hated to hurt her feelings. It was Not Safe. And she later came around to agreeing with me.
posted by emjaybee at 11:02 PM on September 20, 2013 [4 favorites]
Be polite, make it about your allergies, and don't take it. She may decide to be A Jerk about it, but you can't control that. Smoke and smoke residue is bad for babies, especially where they sleep. And your baby has to come first. Not to mention you..the aversion to strong smells may stick around even after birth, you know.
You don't need a lot of stuff right away, anyway. Bassinets are only good for three months (especially if you're like me and have giant babies). Rocking chairs can be found anywhere, and are nice but not strictly necessary. Pack n' Plays--we got one for 30.00 nearly new on Craigslist.
Take all the money you would be spending on ozone machines, Febreeze, wood stain, paint and cleansers and spend it on getting new stuff that you need right away, and then getting the extras as you have cash later.
And congratulations! Best wishes for you and your new little one.
Oh wait, I forgot a story. So my lovely wonderful mother in law is maybe not so aware of the massive changes in cribs since my husband was born. She offered me the 40-year-old, 1970s-era, wobbly rusty metal-spring monstrosity of a crib when our son was born. We took it, because we were poor, and once I got a good look at it, I said "No way in hell." So we put it on the curb when they didn't want it back. And I never regretted it, though I hated to hurt her feelings. It was Not Safe. And she later came around to agreeing with me.
posted by emjaybee at 11:02 PM on September 20, 2013 [4 favorites]
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If you want an easy out, just tell your SIL, "You are so sweet to help out, but you know how it is when you're pregnant, the cigarette smoke smell is causing me headaches and nausea. Maybe after a few months I won't be so sensitive. Is it possible for you to Febreeze the stuff and leave it out in your yard before bringing it over? If not, I can't take it right now. I"m so sorry, I know you mean well, but you know how it is, being pregnant."
Dude play that card, early and often.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 11:55 AM on September 20, 2013 [10 favorites]