What can I do about a haircut with really dumb looking bangs?
September 17, 2013 5:28 PM   Subscribe

I got my haircut yesterday and asked for some bangs. I now look super derpy and remind myself of that Peter Pan meme guy. It just looks bad.

I had bangs before but grew them out about 5 years ago. I (think?) I used to be able to pull them off because of youth and a proclivity towards riot grrl style, neither of which I have anymore. I believe the rest of my hair would be fine if it weren't for the bangs. What can I do to deal with derpy bangs for a while (my hair grows pretty slow). So far my ideas are buy a case of hairspray and just do everything up big, but that's time consuming for everyday, or go into early hibernation until it grows out.
posted by WeekendJen to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion (20 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
How long are they? Can you hold them back off your face with a headband?
posted by ocherdraco at 5:36 PM on September 17, 2013

This front bang twist is shockingly easy once you get a handle on it (which for me was watching the video three times) and can pull back even the most derpy of bangs.
posted by banannafish at 5:38 PM on September 17, 2013 [5 favorites]

Are your bangs long enough to even sweep them a bit to the side?
posted by foxhat10 at 5:43 PM on September 17, 2013

Not sure if that link worked. Try this link?
posted by foxhat10 at 5:45 PM on September 17, 2013 [2 favorites]

They are like this, but alas since i am not a supermodel, it did not translate well at all.
posted by WeekendJen at 5:47 PM on September 17, 2013

And try not to worry, your bangs will be at that lovely right-straight-into-your-eyes length soon enough. Hang in there!
posted by foxhat10 at 5:47 PM on September 17, 2013 [1 favorite]

Is your hair long enough to put back in a ponytail? When I had bangs they looked fine combed over my forehead if my hair was back, but terrible if the rest of my hair was down.

Other than that: yeah, headbands.
posted by something something at 5:48 PM on September 17, 2013

Well, at least they have some length. Without seeing the rest of your hair, I'd just recommend blow-drying them a little off center and keep them swept to their respective sides. No extreme parting from the side. And just spray them a bit so they sort of maybe can blend in with the sides. Keep it simple, IMO, no poofiness or anything.
posted by foxhat10 at 5:52 PM on September 17, 2013 [1 favorite]

I have sort-of half-bangs that are a little bit longer than that, but when they misbehave I figured out a way to bobby-pin them underneath the longer hair on the sides so the bobby pin doesn't really show. Would something like that work?

I would also consider going back to the hair stylist, or a different one if you feel uncomfortable. They can't put the hair back on but they could at least help you figure out a technique for mitigating it.
posted by bleep at 5:55 PM on September 17, 2013

Different eye make-up can change the effect of bangs -- try futzing with your eyebrows, too (I don't mean some creepy deal with drawing in new ones, but subtle darkening/shaping). Also, aggressive lipstick hides a multitude of sins. There was a...company? one-woman enterprise? that sold, c. late 1980s, nothing but sunglasses with big red frames and a matching red lipstick, advertised as a cure-all for any beauty bother. It was a not wholly unrealistic concept.

(Glasses will also change up bangs; if you wear them now might be a good time for "fun" frames, perhaps a retro browline style)
posted by kmennie at 5:58 PM on September 17, 2013

If you hate them go back to the stylist and tell them you hate them. They should help you figure out something better for your face shape, and trim them up in just a few minutes into something you're happier with.
posted by phunniemee at 6:08 PM on September 17, 2013 [6 favorites]

I went through something similar recently.

Part your hair a bit to the side, about an inch or so past the exact center of your forehead. (I go with the part toward my right side.) Brush your bangs forward, down over your forehead. Split your bangs to align with the part on the top of your head.

One side of bang split will be larger than the other. This is your "swoopy" side. Get a comb and some hairspray and angle that side, slanting it a bit toward the opposite ear. The line of where your bangs split should hit about mid eyebrow on the opposite side. With the other side, comb/spray a bit to blend in a bit with your hair on that same side.

Man I hope this made sense. It's the only way I have been able to leave the house.
posted by mzwz at 6:15 PM on September 17, 2013

Q: What's the difference between a bad haircut and a good haircut?

A: Two weeks.

Try blowing out your bangs with a hairdryer on a curled brush and this may smooth out the derp.
posted by St. Peepsburg at 6:17 PM on September 17, 2013

Yeah, go back and tell the stylist to lighten them. (I would do it myself by cutting into them vertically, if that makes sense, but I've been cutting my own hair for years.)
posted by Specklet at 6:30 PM on September 17, 2013

I would recommend against going back to have a stylist to try to fix anything, they'll just end up shorter and likely more layered and thinner or funkier to you (and not the good kind of funky). They should probably just be left alone, cutting-wise. Or maybe go to a stylist and ask for help how to tame them, but would NOT touch them again with scissors.
posted by foxhat10 at 6:33 PM on September 17, 2013 [2 favorites]

Bobbie pin twist
posted by tamitang at 6:48 PM on September 17, 2013 [4 favorites]

If they really are as long and textured as the picture you included, you have plenty of options. You can part them, pull them back, do stuff with gel, et al. You also still have plenty of hair to cut into a style you like better, which is vastly preferable to my own typical dilemma of walking away from a stylist with my hair cut too freaking short.

Don't rule out the possibility that you may just have haircut remorse, and in a day or two you'll like it a lot more.
posted by Ursula Hitler at 7:23 PM on September 17, 2013 [1 favorite]

Seconding the bobbi pin twist!

That technique has saved my life so many times when I've had to run out the door with dirty hair (nothing nastier than dirty bangs). You can also do those twists as long as you like -- you can add in your longer hair, too, and have them go down nearer your ears (which I like better). I usually will do a side part, and then twist the larger side until it's about eyebrow-level but swept back a bit from my face, and do the smaller side closer to my hairline and down past my ear. If you don't like how your hair sticks out behind the twists, aka it's a crazy hair day, you can also then put the rest of your hair in a loose french braid (preferably far enough on the larger-side of the part that it naturally hangs over that shoulder -- otherwise the top could go lumpy after a while because of the weird weight distribution).

I also think you should try going out and about in the bangs, though, because what might be startling and weird to you now could grow on you once you rock it eight or ten times. Learned that the hard way!
posted by rue72 at 7:51 PM on September 17, 2013

If you decide that you altogether hate bangs completely (this is conclusion I've had to face after many attempts) here's a way to grow them out:
- When your bangs do begin to grow out, split them into two layers horizontally.
- Hide the top layer, either by pinning it back or to the side as others have mentioned.
- Maintain the bottom layer of bangs at a bang-appropriate length. Style them as you have been, I'd bet by this point you'll know exactly how to style them exactly how you like em.
- Eventually, you'll be able to use this longer top layer to hide your bangs to make the transition out of bang-hood a little easier and little less awkward.
posted by rubster at 8:26 PM on September 17, 2013

I wish you would show us a photo of your actual haircut, because those photos you linked to look great.

I have some layers cut in the front of my hair along with the bangs. It's probably the same cut that I have had since the 1980's, but not poofy. I use a round brush to lift them up and curl back, so they end up on top of the rest of my hair but facing backwards, then spray to keep them there. I hate to use the word "Farrah Fawcett" because mine are VERY much more sedate and in place than hers, but it's the same idea.

You can get an idea of this if you put your hand on your forehead and drag your fingers up into your hair then take the hair with you as you move your hand back along the top through your hair and sort of finger-comb it off to the side. A lot of men do this motion to brush the hair out of their eyes. I do that while leaning slightly backward so gravity keeps the hair there while I spray.
posted by CathyG at 9:06 AM on September 18, 2013

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