Crisis and exhaustion
July 22, 2013 8:27 AM Subscribe
Brief explanation: I am in crisis emotionally right now, and there is a lot of related spiritual stuff that goes along with it. However, I still have a lot of "real world" stuff to do that isn't getting done, mainly because I can't stop sleeping right now. I have good meds and a wonderful therapist. See extended explanation for more info.
I have suffered from depression, anxiety, and PTSD for a long time. I am familiar with what it means to be in crisis over those things. But this crisis I'm in now is different. A lot of it has to do with having started some very intense healing work in therapy, digging through a lot of old grief and working through it. I've also been doing a ton of work related to mindfulness, and that has definitely been life-changing though also exhausting at first. Plus it''s led to some unexpected situations, like people realizing my compassion and wanting to take advantage of that. As a Wiccan, I'm also dealing with spiritual elements to the grief that I think many people would be hard-pressed to understand. I am hesitant to utilize the local channels for crisis support because I know from experience that a lot of the other clients wouldn't be sensitive to the Wiccan aspect of things.
The symptoms I am broadly referring to as crisis include extreme emotional volatility (that's actually the big one), tearfulness, and panic.
But I am also having major "real world" problems. I have no money right now and after the next few days will probably not be able to afford food and other basics. I'm worried about my power being cut off. I have to move in about a month and haven't found a place yet. My car broke down the other day and I don't know how I'm going to fix it.
On top of all that, I am a writer with a lot of unpaid freelance work due, and I'm not able to get anything done right now. I lose focus or literally forget what I'm working on or similar things happen, things like that.
The past few days I haven't been able to stop sleeping. Literally. I'll just keep on sleeping through alarms and when I know I should be up. I don't know if I'm just that tired or if it's something else, possibly med-related.
I take a lot of meds: Viibryd for depression, Abilify for mood stabilization, clonazepam for anxiety, Adderall for ADD, Seroquel for sleep.
So much is going on that I don't know where to begin to unravel it. Does anyone have any suggestions for this kind of overwhelm
I have suffered from depression, anxiety, and PTSD for a long time. I am familiar with what it means to be in crisis over those things. But this crisis I'm in now is different. A lot of it has to do with having started some very intense healing work in therapy, digging through a lot of old grief and working through it. I've also been doing a ton of work related to mindfulness, and that has definitely been life-changing though also exhausting at first. Plus it''s led to some unexpected situations, like people realizing my compassion and wanting to take advantage of that. As a Wiccan, I'm also dealing with spiritual elements to the grief that I think many people would be hard-pressed to understand. I am hesitant to utilize the local channels for crisis support because I know from experience that a lot of the other clients wouldn't be sensitive to the Wiccan aspect of things.
The symptoms I am broadly referring to as crisis include extreme emotional volatility (that's actually the big one), tearfulness, and panic.
But I am also having major "real world" problems. I have no money right now and after the next few days will probably not be able to afford food and other basics. I'm worried about my power being cut off. I have to move in about a month and haven't found a place yet. My car broke down the other day and I don't know how I'm going to fix it.
On top of all that, I am a writer with a lot of unpaid freelance work due, and I'm not able to get anything done right now. I lose focus or literally forget what I'm working on or similar things happen, things like that.
The past few days I haven't been able to stop sleeping. Literally. I'll just keep on sleeping through alarms and when I know I should be up. I don't know if I'm just that tired or if it's something else, possibly med-related.
I take a lot of meds: Viibryd for depression, Abilify for mood stabilization, clonazepam for anxiety, Adderall for ADD, Seroquel for sleep.
So much is going on that I don't know where to begin to unravel it. Does anyone have any suggestions for this kind of overwhelm
I don't have any suggestions for the general emotional crisis, but I think you need to prioritize your problems, and then tackle those first.
1. shelter. You mention that you need to move out in a under a month. I would prioritize this above all else. start asking friends, family, combing craigslist for room shares etc.
2. food, now is the time to find a foodbank near you and pick up a round of groceries/whatever they've got. Apply for foodstamps. I hear they take a while to kick in, so get started on that before you're desparate
3. transportation. your car is broken. do you know what is wrong with it? is it in a place where it will get towed or can you leave it until later? (can you rely on friends/public transport in the mean time?)
4. income. you're freelancing for free? that is not a luxury you have. you need to find an income stream that works, even if it isn't writing right now. look through your skills and see what you can find. Comb through your belongings and start selling whatever you can spare.
You mention meds and therapy. It is probably worth mentioning to whichever doctors you are seeing, that you are in crisis mode and about to loose shelter, transportation and the ability to feed yourself. They may have resources to help you, or at least may be able to speed you through various government systems.
good luck. and sorry to blow by the mental healthstruggle you are having, but you may need to focus on pure survival for a few months.
posted by larthegreat at 9:01 AM on July 22, 2013 [2 favorites]
1. shelter. You mention that you need to move out in a under a month. I would prioritize this above all else. start asking friends, family, combing craigslist for room shares etc.
2. food, now is the time to find a foodbank near you and pick up a round of groceries/whatever they've got. Apply for foodstamps. I hear they take a while to kick in, so get started on that before you're desparate
3. transportation. your car is broken. do you know what is wrong with it? is it in a place where it will get towed or can you leave it until later? (can you rely on friends/public transport in the mean time?)
4. income. you're freelancing for free? that is not a luxury you have. you need to find an income stream that works, even if it isn't writing right now. look through your skills and see what you can find. Comb through your belongings and start selling whatever you can spare.
You mention meds and therapy. It is probably worth mentioning to whichever doctors you are seeing, that you are in crisis mode and about to loose shelter, transportation and the ability to feed yourself. They may have resources to help you, or at least may be able to speed you through various government systems.
good luck. and sorry to blow by the mental healthstruggle you are having, but you may need to focus on pure survival for a few months.
posted by larthegreat at 9:01 AM on July 22, 2013 [2 favorites]
Would it help to write down some sort of "priority scale", to try and do some of the unraveling which seems so impossible at the moment?
For instance, in order of importance:
1. Food for the next few days
2. Finding somewhere to live for the time being
3. Getting your car fixed (depends on how important having a car is to your life)
4. Getting your meds sorted and your mental health out of the orange/red (if you're on meds for sleep/anxiety and you're not sleeping and anxious then something's not right there!)
5. Continuing your spiritual healing
That's how I'd lay it out. You do it according to your priorities. Then, concentrate on dealing with what's at first place, and dealing with only that, and give yourself complete permission not to worry about any of the others until that one is dealt with.
And finally, in order to do this, also give yourself permission to call on as many friends/family and call in as many favours, as you can. Times like this in your life are when the people looking out for you and who care about you will want to be there, if they can, to support you.
posted by greenish at 9:01 AM on July 22, 2013 [1 favorite]
For instance, in order of importance:
1. Food for the next few days
2. Finding somewhere to live for the time being
3. Getting your car fixed (depends on how important having a car is to your life)
4. Getting your meds sorted and your mental health out of the orange/red (if you're on meds for sleep/anxiety and you're not sleeping and anxious then something's not right there!)
5. Continuing your spiritual healing
That's how I'd lay it out. You do it according to your priorities. Then, concentrate on dealing with what's at first place, and dealing with only that, and give yourself complete permission not to worry about any of the others until that one is dealt with.
And finally, in order to do this, also give yourself permission to call on as many friends/family and call in as many favours, as you can. Times like this in your life are when the people looking out for you and who care about you will want to be there, if they can, to support you.
posted by greenish at 9:01 AM on July 22, 2013 [1 favorite]
"Intense healing work in therapy" and "seriously unstable living situation" should almost never, ever, ever happen at the same time. Please make sure your therapist understands how precarious your day-to-day life is right now, and talk with them about whether you may want to put the PTSD work on the backburner until the practical stuff gets sorted and you're more stable.
posted by jaguar at 9:07 AM on July 22, 2013 [7 favorites]
posted by jaguar at 9:07 AM on July 22, 2013 [7 favorites]
First things first. For crisis support, you say that folks aren't sensitve to the Wiccan perspective. It's irrelevant. They don't need to be. Don't identify yourself as Wiccan. Just get the help you need. Anything religion specific, discuss with your personal therapist.
I think you have overbooked yourself on this. Please extricate yourself from the unpaid writing ASAP. As much as you enjoy doing it, and as much as people enjoy reading it, it's just not on your list right now.
So Item #1, let the folks expecting the writing know that they won't be getting it, not now, perhaps not ever. Explain briefly that you are having health issues and that it's simply not possible. Apologize and send them whatever it is you have. Done.
Item #2, round up some food. See if you can visit a local food pantry, or call your friends and tell them that you're broke until payday and can they help you out. Asking for help is okay, and it's a blessing to allow others to help you.
Item #3, call the power company and ask them for an extension, or even a payment plan. Doing this NOW will avoid not having power and not paying to reinstate power.
Okay, that's the critical stuff. Think about how much your quality of life will improve once you get that sorted out.
Item #4, can you get an extension on your current housing? If not, let's at least try to move into temporary housing. Get a storage unit for your stuff, and see if you can couchsurf or temporarily rent a room from a friend.
The vehicle. Can you borrow money, or take up a collection to fix your car? If it's on its last legs, can you sell it and get some cash and use public transportation until you can afford a car in the future? Can you apply for credit at Firestone to get the car fixed?
It may be the answer is to get rid of the car for now, if possible.
Also does you doctor know about your med mix? Because some of those things just don't seem to be a good idea to mix.
Hang in there, you can get through this. Sometimes you just have to power through it. Ask others for help! Seriously, that's what friends are for.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 9:13 AM on July 22, 2013 [5 favorites]
I think you have overbooked yourself on this. Please extricate yourself from the unpaid writing ASAP. As much as you enjoy doing it, and as much as people enjoy reading it, it's just not on your list right now.
So Item #1, let the folks expecting the writing know that they won't be getting it, not now, perhaps not ever. Explain briefly that you are having health issues and that it's simply not possible. Apologize and send them whatever it is you have. Done.
Item #2, round up some food. See if you can visit a local food pantry, or call your friends and tell them that you're broke until payday and can they help you out. Asking for help is okay, and it's a blessing to allow others to help you.
Item #3, call the power company and ask them for an extension, or even a payment plan. Doing this NOW will avoid not having power and not paying to reinstate power.
Okay, that's the critical stuff. Think about how much your quality of life will improve once you get that sorted out.
Item #4, can you get an extension on your current housing? If not, let's at least try to move into temporary housing. Get a storage unit for your stuff, and see if you can couchsurf or temporarily rent a room from a friend.
The vehicle. Can you borrow money, or take up a collection to fix your car? If it's on its last legs, can you sell it and get some cash and use public transportation until you can afford a car in the future? Can you apply for credit at Firestone to get the car fixed?
It may be the answer is to get rid of the car for now, if possible.
Also does you doctor know about your med mix? Because some of those things just don't seem to be a good idea to mix.
Hang in there, you can get through this. Sometimes you just have to power through it. Ask others for help! Seriously, that's what friends are for.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 9:13 AM on July 22, 2013 [5 favorites]
Response by poster: Thank you all so much for your suggestions so far, and keep them coming. Your perspectives are much clearer than mine is right now.
To answer a question someone asked re: steady income, I should have mentioned that I am on disability for depression/anxiety. I have looked into temporary part-time work to help me get through this time, though now with such exhaustion I don't know what I could do.
Also, I made an urgent care appt. for bloodwork and to see a GP so I can rule out any physical contributors.
posted by mermaidcafe at 9:16 AM on July 22, 2013
To answer a question someone asked re: steady income, I should have mentioned that I am on disability for depression/anxiety. I have looked into temporary part-time work to help me get through this time, though now with such exhaustion I don't know what I could do.
Also, I made an urgent care appt. for bloodwork and to see a GP so I can rule out any physical contributors.
posted by mermaidcafe at 9:16 AM on July 22, 2013
You might want to call your doctor and see about getting off/tapering down on the Seroquel. My husband was crazy sleepy all the time when he was on it and has been fine since he stopped taking it awhile back.
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 9:37 AM on July 22, 2013
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 9:37 AM on July 22, 2013
If you are on disability look into subsidized housing options and food stamps. This can help you quite a bit make that check stretch.
Sell your car, and get a new place on a line of public transportation. It's inconvenient, but even if you take a taxi, it may be cheaper in the long run than maintaining a car and insurance.
Or, look into a Zipcar if that's a thing in your area.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 9:52 AM on July 22, 2013
Sell your car, and get a new place on a line of public transportation. It's inconvenient, but even if you take a taxi, it may be cheaper in the long run than maintaining a car and insurance.
Or, look into a Zipcar if that's a thing in your area.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 9:52 AM on July 22, 2013
Yes, sell the car to get some cash. Discount the price to account for repair costs. I did that once, after a tree fell through the window. So it can be done. Ruthless Bunny's advice is the way I would go: Live without a car since you are on disability. It is an unnecessary expense and walking is good for your health (that is part of how I cope with my disability). Try to get housing within a mile of a good grocery store. You can order other stuff online or whatever, but you will need to slog groceries home several times a week at least. I have lived without a car for several years.
Look for whatever local resources there are for low income people, especially low income women. Women sometimes have it better than men in that regard. I do not know where you are but, for example, dowtown San Diego has a women's center catering to both homeless and low income women where you can get a meal, see a doctor, etc. But deal with the physical survival stuff -- food, shelter, money -- first. Take care of yourself.
I have a lot of health issues, including sleep issues. I have done well with pursuing nutritional support as an alternative to drugs. It takes a long time to do that. It isn't a quick fix. But I got off a bunch of drugs, in part by taking supplements to straighten out my fried chemistry because I could no longer sleep without help. So I think a lot can be done in that regard if you do your research and are persistent.
PTSD: I highly recommend finding ways to feel safe. I moved far away from my abusers. That helped me move on because it helped me feel safe from them.
posted by Michele in California at 10:36 AM on July 22, 2013 [1 favorite]
Look for whatever local resources there are for low income people, especially low income women. Women sometimes have it better than men in that regard. I do not know where you are but, for example, dowtown San Diego has a women's center catering to both homeless and low income women where you can get a meal, see a doctor, etc. But deal with the physical survival stuff -- food, shelter, money -- first. Take care of yourself.
I have a lot of health issues, including sleep issues. I have done well with pursuing nutritional support as an alternative to drugs. It takes a long time to do that. It isn't a quick fix. But I got off a bunch of drugs, in part by taking supplements to straighten out my fried chemistry because I could no longer sleep without help. So I think a lot can be done in that regard if you do your research and are persistent.
PTSD: I highly recommend finding ways to feel safe. I moved far away from my abusers. That helped me move on because it helped me feel safe from them.
posted by Michele in California at 10:36 AM on July 22, 2013 [1 favorite]
I think you have gotten a lot of good advice so far. It has been almost 20 years since I dealt with my PTSD and it threw my life into crisis. I flunked out a semester and lived in pjs. I hardly talked to anyone but was surprised at how many people noticed I was struggling and knocked on my door. Many people want to help you, let them in. There's no need to worry about people understanding your religion. Most people probably don't care as much as you might think.
I agree with staying away from any abusers or things in your life that trigger your pain. Protect yourself and let yourself fall apart at the same time. This will be a very healing time in your life.
posted by i_love_squirrels at 8:40 PM on July 22, 2013
I agree with staying away from any abusers or things in your life that trigger your pain. Protect yourself and let yourself fall apart at the same time. This will be a very healing time in your life.
posted by i_love_squirrels at 8:40 PM on July 22, 2013
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I wish I could suggest a way to help with the most immediate of your needs, which would appear to be food and shelter (hopefully others in your area might know of appropriate organisations), but -- in the meantime, to help with some of the other pressures -- would it be possible to simply not do the "unpaid freelance work"? I mean, if it is unpaid, then don't do it (remove these things completely from your mental to-do list), while you focus instead on managing your mental health crisis. Surely the people who have asked you for these things would understand; and if not, then f* 'em. Right?
When I'm overwhelmed, I just try to do one thing at a time (in order from most to least important). So after taking the 'freelance work' off of the table entirely (again, assuming it is not remunerated in any way), what one thing can you do today to improve your situation tomorrow?
posted by Halo in reverse at 8:44 AM on July 22, 2013 [5 favorites]