A Lady Pens a Note?
July 15, 2013 10:10 AM Subscribe
Is there a female version of "A Gentleman Pens a Note"?
For years, I've kept a copy of "A Gentleman Pens a Note" on my desk, to help me write small personal notes of thanks, sympathy and congratulation. It is written and geared towards males.
I've spoke of this book helping me understand how to write appropriately in certain situations, and my female boss thought the idea sounded neat and expressed an interest in a similar book for her desk. As a thank-you to her for some recent support, I'd like to give a gift of a similar book.
Unfortunately, all I can find are female etiquette books that include non-work suggestions like what type of stockings to wear and what fork to use first. Not situation appropriate, not for a work colleague, and certainly not for my boss.
So I ask:
#1 - Is it appropriate to give a copy of "A Gentleman Pens a Note" to a female work colleague? The advice is rock-solid, but very male gender driven.
#2 - Can you please recommend specific books geared towards women that can act as a concise, contemporary guide to personal correspondence but do not offer etiquette advice?
For years, I've kept a copy of "A Gentleman Pens a Note" on my desk, to help me write small personal notes of thanks, sympathy and congratulation. It is written and geared towards males.
I've spoke of this book helping me understand how to write appropriately in certain situations, and my female boss thought the idea sounded neat and expressed an interest in a similar book for her desk. As a thank-you to her for some recent support, I'd like to give a gift of a similar book.
Unfortunately, all I can find are female etiquette books that include non-work suggestions like what type of stockings to wear and what fork to use first. Not situation appropriate, not for a work colleague, and certainly not for my boss.
So I ask:
#1 - Is it appropriate to give a copy of "A Gentleman Pens a Note" to a female work colleague? The advice is rock-solid, but very male gender driven.
#2 - Can you please recommend specific books geared towards women that can act as a concise, contemporary guide to personal correspondence but do not offer etiquette advice?
I gave this one to my boyfriend's daughter-in-law shortly after she & his son married.
This is specifically about writing thank you notes, so I don't know if it will fully satisfy you. But it's a pretty good one, and it does include the appropriate information for thank you notes in business.
posted by janey47 at 10:33 AM on July 15, 2013
This is specifically about writing thank you notes, so I don't know if it will fully satisfy you. But it's a pretty good one, and it does include the appropriate information for thank you notes in business.
posted by janey47 at 10:33 AM on July 15, 2013
Best answer: I would bet your boss is perfectly comfortable reading books on gender-neutral topics that were originally written for men. There is no substantial gender difference in contemporary personal or business correspondence. If it is otherwise a good book full of useful information and she specifically complimented it, you do not need to spend a lot of time looking for a pink ladies' version for her.
posted by steinwald at 12:31 PM on July 15, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by steinwald at 12:31 PM on July 15, 2013 [1 favorite]
This book was published in 2003. As steinwald notes, polite correspondence should really now be a gender-neutral topic. What is it that makes this book male-oriented? Is any of the content offensive to women? Specifically to professional women? If not, you should go ahead and give this book to your boss. (If yes, you may want to stop using it.)
I am a woman and I would love to have a book like this. But the fact that this is a 2003 book which is male oriented makes me fear that the author may have and may convey the attitude that "business correspondence is for men." Is this the case? If yes, do not give this book to your boss.
posted by snorkmaiden at 1:14 PM on July 15, 2013
I am a woman and I would love to have a book like this. But the fact that this is a 2003 book which is male oriented makes me fear that the author may have and may convey the attitude that "business correspondence is for men." Is this the case? If yes, do not give this book to your boss.
posted by snorkmaiden at 1:14 PM on July 15, 2013
If the rest of the book is similar to the 10 or so preview pages on Amazon, it seems like it would be a perfectly appropriate gift for a woman. The only way it seems gendered to me is that all the advice is phrased as "A gentleman [does a thing]", but the advice itself seems equally appropriate to women, and the parts I read didn't seem weird or sexist or outdated.
If she hadn't expressed an interest in the book, it might come off oddly just because the word "gentleman" is so prominent. Given that she admired it, I think it'll be fine, especially if you lightheartedly address the fact that it's a little awkward.
posted by duien at 1:21 PM on July 15, 2013
If she hadn't expressed an interest in the book, it might come off oddly just because the word "gentleman" is so prominent. Given that she admired it, I think it'll be fine, especially if you lightheartedly address the fact that it's a little awkward.
posted by duien at 1:21 PM on July 15, 2013
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There are definitely similar book out there that are gender neutral. I just can't come up with a title.
posted by Jahaza at 10:22 AM on July 15, 2013