Should I hit reply-all when I'm incorrectly blamed for something?
July 8, 2013 5:24 PM Subscribe
Adam, a member of a team I manage, sent an email incorrect blaming me for work they couldn't complete. I'm a big fan of dealing with things one-on-one, but I'm not sure how to respond when now that other people have been brought into it. When I send a reply referencing my previously emailed instructions, should I reply-all and let everyone know this isn't my fault, or should I just hit reply and not worry about everyone else?
I recently changed a process at work and subsequently sent out new instructions to everyone affected. This change was software based, and anyone who didn't read the instructions would think that the software has been disabled. Adam presumably didn't read these instructions, so when a email was sent to multiple team members asking about a half-finished job, he replied back to everyone saying that the software was broken and that things like this never would have happened like that if a)the software wasn't broken, and b)he didn't have to wait on me to finish the job instead.
Adam clearly needs to be reading his emails, but the even more ridiculous thing is that he never asked me to finish the job. (I will admit that other things he's asked about haven't been completed due to priorities that haven't been communicated to him, but this one I've never heard of.)
I suspect Miss Manners would say to deal with it one-on-one, but people are occasionally missing other important emails, so maybe this is a good time to point that out?
Things that I need to accomplish with my response:
Reply, or reply-all?
I recently changed a process at work and subsequently sent out new instructions to everyone affected. This change was software based, and anyone who didn't read the instructions would think that the software has been disabled. Adam presumably didn't read these instructions, so when a email was sent to multiple team members asking about a half-finished job, he replied back to everyone saying that the software was broken and that things like this never would have happened like that if a)the software wasn't broken, and b)he didn't have to wait on me to finish the job instead.
Adam clearly needs to be reading his emails, but the even more ridiculous thing is that he never asked me to finish the job. (I will admit that other things he's asked about haven't been completed due to priorities that haven't been communicated to him, but this one I've never heard of.)
I suspect Miss Manners would say to deal with it one-on-one, but people are occasionally missing other important emails, so maybe this is a good time to point that out?
Things that I need to accomplish with my response:
- Instruct Adam how to finish this specific sort of work in the future
- Inspire Adam to read all emails that are sent to him to avoid this general problem
- Remind Adam that if thinks things are broken, he needs to ask about it instead of waiting to bring it up after the fact.
- Show everyone else that it wasn't my fault
- Remind everyone that my processes are pretty stinkin' good and need to be followed to avoid this sort of problem
- Stick it to his absurd passive-aggressive email, because he still hasn't directly asked me to finish this job.
Reply, or reply-all?
Reply-all without delay.
posted by destructive cactus at 5:27 PM on July 8, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by destructive cactus at 5:27 PM on July 8, 2013 [1 favorite]
Reply. Everyone who knows the software isn't broken knows Adam is in the wrong; no need to rub it in publicly. I'm also confused about why a member of a team you manage would have to ask you to finish a project. As leader, you should be on top of the project and keeping the people who work for you in the loop. E-mail is probably not the best way to accomplish this; you may want to have a short in-person meeting (or a conference call if necessary, though I never find them very helpful for large group discussion) every so often where people can check in.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 5:28 PM on July 8, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 5:28 PM on July 8, 2013 [1 favorite]
Best answer: Call him into your office for a one on one and document it. This is the tough part about being the boss.
posted by Ironmouth at 5:30 PM on July 8, 2013 [20 favorites]
posted by Ironmouth at 5:30 PM on July 8, 2013 [20 favorites]
Sorry, I missed the part where you are his supervisor. My answer was for a co-worker of equal rank.
Ironmouth is right- you need to speak to him in private about this issue.
posted by drjimmy11 at 5:32 PM on July 8, 2013 [1 favorite]
Ironmouth is right- you need to speak to him in private about this issue.
posted by drjimmy11 at 5:32 PM on July 8, 2013 [1 favorite]
Reply all and say something like: "Adam, perhaps you missed the email from DATE which contained details about the new process, including XYZ. Please come see me to discuss how we can best accomplish the completion of THIS PARTICULAR JOB."
posted by hapax_legomenon at 5:34 PM on July 8, 2013 [14 favorites]
posted by hapax_legomenon at 5:34 PM on July 8, 2013 [14 favorites]
the reply-all:
"Dear Adam, as my email dated ____ indicated (as attached), the process has been updated. This should resolve your software problems."
everything else regarding his attitude and the job should be during a one-to-one session and later documented, as others stated.
posted by cendawanita at 5:35 PM on July 8, 2013 [41 favorites]
"Dear Adam, as my email dated ____ indicated (as attached), the process has been updated. This should resolve your software problems."
everything else regarding his attitude and the job should be during a one-to-one session and later documented, as others stated.
posted by cendawanita at 5:35 PM on July 8, 2013 [41 favorites]
You're his supervisor? Put him on probation for insubordination and a decline in professionalism. But do it privately.
posted by These Birds of a Feather at 5:35 PM on July 8, 2013 [8 favorites]
posted by These Birds of a Feather at 5:35 PM on July 8, 2013 [8 favorites]
Reply today.
Tomorrow, send out a mailing-list wide "reminder" email, just giving people another heads up about the change that you made and previously emailed about on X date.
posted by sparklemotion at 5:36 PM on July 8, 2013 [29 favorites]
Tomorrow, send out a mailing-list wide "reminder" email, just giving people another heads up about the change that you made and previously emailed about on X date.
posted by sparklemotion at 5:36 PM on July 8, 2013 [29 favorites]
Best answer: Reply-all with a non-aggressive, non "nuh-uh!", plain boring manager-ese message -- "as a reminder, this process changed on X date; the full description of the new way to do it is both on the wiki and in the email I sent with the subject 'XYZPDQ Process." If you need help finding the documentation, please let me know and I will forward it. If you run into any issues with the software behaving in unexpected ways, please ping me." Then have a one-on-one come to Jesus with Adam, because (1) you already have proof he doesn't read his email, so an email response isn't going to sink in, and (2) you have to make sure he knows the process, and make sure he sticks to it in the future.
Don't shut him down publicly in a big reply-all, even if you really want to show everyone it wasn't your fault, because that will affect your relationship with other team members. Handling his attitude tactfully will earn you more points with them than the other alternatives.
posted by sldownard at 5:36 PM on July 8, 2013 [39 favorites]
Don't shut him down publicly in a big reply-all, even if you really want to show everyone it wasn't your fault, because that will affect your relationship with other team members. Handling his attitude tactfully will earn you more points with them than the other alternatives.
posted by sldownard at 5:36 PM on July 8, 2013 [39 favorites]
Tackle it one-on-one with Adam, in person, and document it. Then send out mail to everyone else (perhaps forwarding your original mail) reminding them of the instructions. Do not mention things with Adam in your email.
posted by rmd1023 at 5:37 PM on July 8, 2013 [7 favorites]
posted by rmd1023 at 5:37 PM on July 8, 2013 [7 favorites]
I was just typing exactly what rmd1023 said. Talk to Adam one on one, explain your concerns and then follow it up by re-sending your original email with maybe a note on top that says something like: Just in case anyone didn't receive this the first time.
Everyone will know what's going on, and you won't look like the bad guy for chastising a subordinate in public.
posted by Literaryhero at 5:45 PM on July 8, 2013
Everyone will know what's going on, and you won't look like the bad guy for chastising a subordinate in public.
posted by Literaryhero at 5:45 PM on July 8, 2013
Talk to him one-on-one and have HIM send the correction to the others.
posted by Miko at 5:45 PM on July 8, 2013 [23 favorites]
posted by Miko at 5:45 PM on July 8, 2013 [23 favorites]
Who else is on this email? Letting your supervisor know what is going on with Adam is important regardless, but doubly so if they were cc:ed as well.
posted by slidell at 5:49 PM on July 8, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by slidell at 5:49 PM on July 8, 2013 [1 favorite]
I'd vote for discussing the issue with Adam in private (either by email or, preferably, in person/phone). If there are next steps to deal with the unfinished project, suggest that Adam reply to the thread with an update on the status and outstanding actions. Then you can reply-all or send a separate email to the team with a "Adam and I already discussed this issue as it relates to Project X, but I just wanted to remind everyone that the Y process changed last week, as described in the email I sent out last Tuesday (also on the wiki/sharepoint/fileserver/whatever at http://Z). If you encounter any difficulties with the new process or need a refresher on how the software works, just let me know." Or leave Adam out of it entirely and just send the reminder out.
Then work on clarifying your process so it is clear when projects are waiting on you to finish a job vs in other states. Maybe these things should be tracked in some kind of project management system (anything from a fancy software system with massive gantt charts to a whiteboard with tasks scribbled on it)?
posted by zachlipton at 5:50 PM on July 8, 2013 [1 favorite]
Then work on clarifying your process so it is clear when projects are waiting on you to finish a job vs in other states. Maybe these things should be tracked in some kind of project management system (anything from a fancy software system with massive gantt charts to a whiteboard with tasks scribbled on it)?
posted by zachlipton at 5:50 PM on July 8, 2013 [1 favorite]
Replying to all could be a good reminder to everybody about how the new procedure will keep them from having the problem Adam had.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 5:53 PM on July 8, 2013
posted by The Underpants Monster at 5:53 PM on July 8, 2013
However, I don't think I'd use the email to address the inappropriateness of his message. That's probably better handled one-on-one.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 5:54 PM on July 8, 2013
posted by The Underpants Monster at 5:54 PM on July 8, 2013
Best answer: Also, it sounds like Adam is frustrated at the bottlenecks in this process and wishes he could have just completed the job himself. That doesn't excuse his passive-aggressive tone or his not reading the email with the new process, but it does indicate that Adam is finding the process grating for some reason.
It may well be that there's nothing to be done about this and Adam should just suck it up; if the process is "I have to approve all the space shuttle missions before launch" and Adam wants to hit the big red button anytime he wants, then that's just not going to work. But in less critical cases, there may be room to improve the process and give the team some more autonomy. If nothing else, it may help to have a more explicit system where a task is out of your subordinate's hands and on your plate for completion so that the team isn't worried about things you're responsible for.
If Adam is someone you want to develop and keep around, or if you think his co-workers may have similar feelings about the process, it may be worth discussing this further, without minimizing the issues caused by his not reading your email and his message here.
posted by zachlipton at 6:01 PM on July 8, 2013 [2 favorites]
It may well be that there's nothing to be done about this and Adam should just suck it up; if the process is "I have to approve all the space shuttle missions before launch" and Adam wants to hit the big red button anytime he wants, then that's just not going to work. But in less critical cases, there may be room to improve the process and give the team some more autonomy. If nothing else, it may help to have a more explicit system where a task is out of your subordinate's hands and on your plate for completion so that the team isn't worried about things you're responsible for.
If Adam is someone you want to develop and keep around, or if you think his co-workers may have similar feelings about the process, it may be worth discussing this further, without minimizing the issues caused by his not reading your email and his message here.
posted by zachlipton at 6:01 PM on July 8, 2013 [2 favorites]
Best answer: If Adam sent the email to everyone, then reply-all. If not, just reply to Adam.
Sounds like you're not communicating effectively, to tell you the truth. If Adam is the only one having a problem, work with him to figure out a better way. It might be as simple as getting him to read your emails.
Generally, when working with a supervisor or a team lead I learn how to adjust to their communication strategies.
When working with a subordinate, I generally try to use the method I find to be the most efficient (email) and make sure that I am communicating effectively in that medium (bulleted lists, etc).
posted by KokuRyu at 6:04 PM on July 8, 2013 [2 favorites]
Sounds like you're not communicating effectively, to tell you the truth. If Adam is the only one having a problem, work with him to figure out a better way. It might be as simple as getting him to read your emails.
Generally, when working with a supervisor or a team lead I learn how to adjust to their communication strategies.
When working with a subordinate, I generally try to use the method I find to be the most efficient (email) and make sure that I am communicating effectively in that medium (bulleted lists, etc).
posted by KokuRyu at 6:04 PM on July 8, 2013 [2 favorites]
1) Reply to all in a very brief email, factually correcting Adam phrased in such a way to indicate you want others to avoid misinterpreting what you wrote in the previous email.
2) Add a short sentence indicating that any follow-up question or comment should be done privately and not on the list.
3) Call Adam to your office to have a one-on-one discussion where
a) you make sure to mention that you expect employees to read your emails more carefully
b) you expect your employees to respect you and contact you directly if they have questions - not on a "reply all" email
c) mention any other relevant issues with him
d) conclude by stating that his behaviour was unacceptable and that such behaviour could lead to disciplinary measures
e) ask him if he has any questions.
4) follow up the meeting with a brief email where you summarize points a) through d) and anything he might have brought up in e)
This 4th step is especially important and is too often not done.
posted by aroberge at 6:28 PM on July 8, 2013
2) Add a short sentence indicating that any follow-up question or comment should be done privately and not on the list.
3) Call Adam to your office to have a one-on-one discussion where
a) you make sure to mention that you expect employees to read your emails more carefully
b) you expect your employees to respect you and contact you directly if they have questions - not on a "reply all" email
c) mention any other relevant issues with him
d) conclude by stating that his behaviour was unacceptable and that such behaviour could lead to disciplinary measures
e) ask him if he has any questions.
4) follow up the meeting with a brief email where you summarize points a) through d) and anything he might have brought up in e)
This 4th step is especially important and is too often not done.
posted by aroberge at 6:28 PM on July 8, 2013
Adam is a moron for publicly calling out his supervisor especially since he was wrong. He needs to be talked to privately and told in no uncertain terms to read all his emails and if he has a problem with something to come to you directly and not send out emails that embarrass him for his lack of reading other emails. Then send out a general reminder of the new procedures without mention that Adam is a moron.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 6:37 PM on July 8, 2013 [6 favorites]
posted by JohnnyGunn at 6:37 PM on July 8, 2013 [6 favorites]
Maybe my reading comprehension skills suck, but I have read your question several times and I'm actually not totally clear from your question about whether or not you are Adam's supervisor or not.
If Adam is your direct report, you must absolutely discuss this with him one on one and be very firm. The ass-handing-ness of your response if this is the case is definitely not to be handled in a public email.
If he is NOT your direct report, you should reply-all and set the record straight by simply re-iterating the facts that you already outlined, but that he previously ignored. If he escalates or does it again, involve your supervisor (and his, if they are not the same person).
posted by pazazygeek at 6:42 PM on July 8, 2013 [1 favorite]
If Adam is your direct report, you must absolutely discuss this with him one on one and be very firm. The ass-handing-ness of your response if this is the case is definitely not to be handled in a public email.
If he is NOT your direct report, you should reply-all and set the record straight by simply re-iterating the facts that you already outlined, but that he previously ignored. If he escalates or does it again, involve your supervisor (and his, if they are not the same person).
posted by pazazygeek at 6:42 PM on July 8, 2013 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: Thanks for all the advice so far. Two additions:
posted by Nonsteroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drug at 7:19 PM on July 8, 2013
- I'm his supervisor, though because this is a smaller company, things like perfomance reviews would be done by the ownership.
- Half of the people on the email are in another department and don't know/care anything about the software, much less the new way it works. It'd be nice if there was a way to mention the "solution" to them.
posted by Nonsteroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drug at 7:19 PM on July 8, 2013
In my experience, this is a two-email solution.
Email #1: Reply all. Be brief. IF appropriate, be gently witty, using this example of someone getting it wrong because he didn't read his email in order to remind everyone of the importance of Actually Reading Their Email (ARTE). I literally used to call this ARTE, as in, "Did you actually read the email, or did you just glance at the subject and assume? I ask because, oh, you're so busted." This can be particularly handy if you're a supervisor. Rather than using the reply-all to CYA, use it a teachable moment.
Email #2: Directly to him only. Explain in detail.
posted by 2oh1 at 7:50 PM on July 8, 2013
Email #1: Reply all. Be brief. IF appropriate, be gently witty, using this example of someone getting it wrong because he didn't read his email in order to remind everyone of the importance of Actually Reading Their Email (ARTE). I literally used to call this ARTE, as in, "Did you actually read the email, or did you just glance at the subject and assume? I ask because, oh, you're so busted." This can be particularly handy if you're a supervisor. Rather than using the reply-all to CYA, use it a teachable moment.
Email #2: Directly to him only. Explain in detail.
posted by 2oh1 at 7:50 PM on July 8, 2013
People stop doing this crap when you make them send the correction email.
Pull him aside, explain that his email was unprofessional and it broadcasts to all and sundry that he's too lazy to read his email. Then ask him to send the correction that says, he missed the email about the new process, the software works correctly and he'll get it done by the end of the day.
Let people be accountable for their own mistakes.
posted by 26.2 at 12:03 AM on July 9, 2013 [22 favorites]
Pull him aside, explain that his email was unprofessional and it broadcasts to all and sundry that he's too lazy to read his email. Then ask him to send the correction that says, he missed the email about the new process, the software works correctly and he'll get it done by the end of the day.
Let people be accountable for their own mistakes.
posted by 26.2 at 12:03 AM on July 9, 2013 [22 favorites]
Oooooh, I LIKE 26.2's suggestion. That one wins. If you have the power to request that, and enforce that, do that. It's great. It makes him own it. It takes you out of the loop of appearing harsh (although I've definitely stepped up and smacked down an employee who got bizarrely and inappropriately uppity over a very simple policy change in our small company Skype room, because his attitude was completely unnecessary and I couldn't bite my tongue) and is very fulfilling in general.
posted by disillusioned at 2:16 AM on July 9, 2013
posted by disillusioned at 2:16 AM on July 9, 2013
So he has no sense of obligation to complete his task, no communication skill to make you aware of his problem and no tact to not make you look bad in a public forum? Is lighting him on fire not an option?
posted by charlemangy at 3:10 AM on July 9, 2013 [6 favorites]
posted by charlemangy at 3:10 AM on July 9, 2013 [6 favorites]
26.2 has it. Discuss privately with Adam the importance of email reading and email etiquette, document the discussion and that Adam's next action is to reply all to his own email with the correction, attaching the missed email.
If there is a process issue with the new software after Adam starts using it, that's fine, but that can't be diagnosed until he actually reads his emails and attempts the process.
posted by itsonreserve at 6:35 AM on July 9, 2013
If there is a process issue with the new software after Adam starts using it, that's fine, but that can't be diagnosed until he actually reads his emails and attempts the process.
posted by itsonreserve at 6:35 AM on July 9, 2013
I like 26.6's idea, I'd take it a step further and do a written warning, making him sign a document:
1. Insubordinate, calling out a manager in a very large forum.
2. Inappropriate use of email--making your manager look bad is NOT cool.
3. Not reading important emails and acting upon them.
4. Not bringing an issue to your attention.
5. Missing a deadline.
This guy could be fired for this, he needs to feel the weight of that. Once you document all of these issues and really pound it into his pea-brain.
THEN have him send a follow-up email.
He needs to be looking for a new gig though because I wouldn't have a pernicious jerk like this in MY world.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 6:49 AM on July 9, 2013
1. Insubordinate, calling out a manager in a very large forum.
2. Inappropriate use of email--making your manager look bad is NOT cool.
3. Not reading important emails and acting upon them.
4. Not bringing an issue to your attention.
5. Missing a deadline.
This guy could be fired for this, he needs to feel the weight of that. Once you document all of these issues and really pound it into his pea-brain.
THEN have him send a follow-up email.
He needs to be looking for a new gig though because I wouldn't have a pernicious jerk like this in MY world.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 6:49 AM on July 9, 2013
Response by poster: Thanks for all the advice. This was coming towards the tail end of a big project that was way more rushed than anyone would have liked, so the comments about poor communication overall are probably spot on. We're working on improving that as an organization, so we're not DTMFA yet!
posted by Nonsteroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drug at 2:58 PM on July 23, 2013
posted by Nonsteroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drug at 2:58 PM on July 23, 2013
Response by poster: And this week in in NSAID's Reply-All adventures, he deals with replying to an authority figure's heavyhanded email about a knuckleheaded thing NSAID himself did. Should he or shouldn't he reply-all to the people he's never even heard of?
(Spoilers: He doesn't.)
posted by Nonsteroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drug at 2:58 PM on July 23, 2013 [1 favorite]
(Spoilers: He doesn't.)
posted by Nonsteroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drug at 2:58 PM on July 23, 2013 [1 favorite]
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Reply-all. Be polite but clear and firm. It will encourage him to perhaps think better of this practice in the future.
posted by drjimmy11 at 5:26 PM on July 8, 2013 [16 favorites]