What happens when the family tree goes straight down?
April 11, 2013 12:28 PM Subscribe
Is there any discussion available of the social/behavior results of having multiple generations of only children in a family? Know of any sources? Have any personal experiences?
Are there whole families made up of of "only children"?
Is there any discussion available of the social/behavior results of having multiple generations of only children in a family? I'm interested in only children both as a result of lagging birthrates in high income developed nations, and also as a result of government policies like in Asia.
I know there is a lot written about the social/behavioral/emotional consequences for the children (all the research on whether only children adhere to negative stereotypes etc.). And also there is a lot written about intergenerational financial burden, e.g. the famous 4-2-1 problem.
But what about the social/behavioral/emotional consequences for multiple generations and (lacking) extended families? As one's parents age, as life events happen, having a teeny tiny family must be very difficult. Know of any sources?
And in the absence of those, does anyone have any experiences to share? Thanks in advance.
Are there whole families made up of of "only children"?
Is there any discussion available of the social/behavior results of having multiple generations of only children in a family? I'm interested in only children both as a result of lagging birthrates in high income developed nations, and also as a result of government policies like in Asia.
I know there is a lot written about the social/behavioral/emotional consequences for the children (all the research on whether only children adhere to negative stereotypes etc.). And also there is a lot written about intergenerational financial burden, e.g. the famous 4-2-1 problem.
But what about the social/behavioral/emotional consequences for multiple generations and (lacking) extended families? As one's parents age, as life events happen, having a teeny tiny family must be very difficult. Know of any sources?
And in the absence of those, does anyone have any experiences to share? Thanks in advance.
I am the only child of two only children, both of whom were the only children of only children. Actually, my paternal grandfather may have had a brother, but the word "brother" (and "sister" for that matter) is a little ambiguous in Russian, so I'm not sure if it was an actual brother or cousin or whatever. Also I'm not entirely sure who my maternal grandfather is (my grandmother was married several times, and the guy that raised my mom was not her biological father) so it gets a little blurry.
At this point, everyone except my maternal grandmother is dead, so the only blood relatives I have are very far removed biologically to the point where I'm not even sure it counts as a "blood relative."
posted by griphus at 2:03 PM on April 11, 2013 [1 favorite]
At this point, everyone except my maternal grandmother is dead, so the only blood relatives I have are very far removed biologically to the point where I'm not even sure it counts as a "blood relative."
posted by griphus at 2:03 PM on April 11, 2013 [1 favorite]
As far as upbringing, we're all Jews from Soviet Russia, and Jews from Soviet Russia tended to stick close together. There's a lot of people whom I refer to as "uncle" and "aunt" socially (those words are also more ambiguous in Russian) who I am not related to but our families have known one another for generations-upon-generations. There may be some common relatives up the vine, though. The woman I refer to as my "cousin" (and her parents as my "aunt" and "uncle") is actually related to me because our great-grandmothers were cousins. And not even first cousins.
posted by griphus at 2:05 PM on April 11, 2013
posted by griphus at 2:05 PM on April 11, 2013
You've used the word "consequences" as though you've already decided that multiple generations of only children is bad. There are pros and cons. To take the example you've given, having a teeny tiny family isn't always worse than having a large family when it comes to the death of parents. There is no squabbling with who gets what. And your parents might have been able to save more to pay for their own retirement, funeral, etc. Finally, you don't get passed the responsibility for taking care of siblings that, for whatever reason, can't take care of themselves. No, I don't have a source. I am just speculating.
posted by pizzazz at 2:06 PM on April 11, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by pizzazz at 2:06 PM on April 11, 2013 [2 favorites]
Logically speaking, it seems like a great way to concentrate wealth through inheritances.
posted by lydhre at 2:39 PM on April 11, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by lydhre at 2:39 PM on April 11, 2013 [2 favorites]
Logically speaking, it seems like a great way to concentrate wealth through inheritances.
It's like a very risky version of entail, with no spares!
posted by mskyle at 3:00 PM on April 11, 2013 [1 favorite]
It's like a very risky version of entail, with no spares!
posted by mskyle at 3:00 PM on April 11, 2013 [1 favorite]
I would look to China, which enforces this as a policy.
posted by DarlingBri at 3:45 PM on April 11, 2013
posted by DarlingBri at 3:45 PM on April 11, 2013
A helpful search term might be Little Emperor Syndrome
posted by Trivia Newton John at 5:25 PM on April 11, 2013
posted by Trivia Newton John at 5:25 PM on April 11, 2013
> But what about the social/behavioral/emotional consequences for multiple generations and (lacking) extended families? As one's parents age, as life events happen, having a teeny tiny family must be very difficult.
As one's parents age, as life events happen...these things are difficult no matter how many or few siblings you have. Siblings can share the emotional and financial responsibility of caring for a frail or ill parent and burying them when they die, but this is pretty often a source of dispute and bitterness and contention and hurt that utterly destroys family relationships.
As for having tiny families...for some, the extended family is traditionally maintained as a sprawling network and you grow up with your second and third cousins and whatever-removed cousins as part of your immediate family. In some families, godparents are taken very seriously as a familial relationship, even if they're not blood relations. Likewise, honorary "aunt/uncle" friends of the parents, sometimes extended to honorary sibling/cousin relationships among the kids. Some of this is more common in some cultures than others.
And then some people build a whole family on their own as an adult that has nothing to do with blood. Chosen family.
In my experience, none of the above is more common with only children than those with siblings, though. Maybe those of us who are only children feel those extended familial relationships differently in some hard-to-parse way, I don't know.
I will say that I've noticed as I've gotten older (I'm 39) that those of us who are only children often now have an extra tiny little bond with each other, and may keep an extra eye out/extend an ear to listen (even if just acquaintances) during situations where know that other people might typically lean on a sibling.
posted by desuetude at 9:41 PM on April 11, 2013
As one's parents age, as life events happen...these things are difficult no matter how many or few siblings you have. Siblings can share the emotional and financial responsibility of caring for a frail or ill parent and burying them when they die, but this is pretty often a source of dispute and bitterness and contention and hurt that utterly destroys family relationships.
As for having tiny families...for some, the extended family is traditionally maintained as a sprawling network and you grow up with your second and third cousins and whatever-removed cousins as part of your immediate family. In some families, godparents are taken very seriously as a familial relationship, even if they're not blood relations. Likewise, honorary "aunt/uncle" friends of the parents, sometimes extended to honorary sibling/cousin relationships among the kids. Some of this is more common in some cultures than others.
And then some people build a whole family on their own as an adult that has nothing to do with blood. Chosen family.
In my experience, none of the above is more common with only children than those with siblings, though. Maybe those of us who are only children feel those extended familial relationships differently in some hard-to-parse way, I don't know.
I will say that I've noticed as I've gotten older (I'm 39) that those of us who are only children often now have an extra tiny little bond with each other, and may keep an extra eye out/extend an ear to listen (even if just acquaintances) during situations where know that other people might typically lean on a sibling.
posted by desuetude at 9:41 PM on April 11, 2013
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 1:17 PM on April 11, 2013