So?

April 5, 2013 7:22 AM

Where is this mystical land where it is acceptable to answer statements with: "So?"

Increasingly in novels I seem to be encountering the formulation "So?" being used conversationally as apparent shorthand for "Is that so?"

In my life and travels, however, I have only ever encountered "So?" as shorthand for "So what?"

The former is a polite invitation to elaborate. The latter is a dismissive "I don't give a shit."

So, when I see the following exchange in a novel:

"I just had the strangest dream."
"So?"

I expect the response to be "Fine! I didn't want to tell you about it anyway." But instead, the response is "Yes, it was quite odd."

Is this "[Is that] so?" usage a literary affectation? A regionalism? Or is it the standard usage (in which case I have been misattributing boorishness to people who use it my entire life?

And if the "[Is that] so?" usage does exist in the wild, does it exist alongside or in place of the "So [what]?" usage. In which case, are the two distinguished by intonation?

posted by 256 to Media & Arts (40 answers total)

"I just had the strangest dream."
"So?"

In this case, it sounds like "So?" is used in the same was as if the person said, "Well?" In other words, "So, are you going to tell me about it?" It's informal and familiar.

Since the only difference between using it to mean "Go on," and "So what?" is inflection, context would indicate which is which in writing.
posted by FAMOUS MONSTER at 7:28 AM on April 5, 2013 [5 favorites]

I can tell just by reading this that you're enunciating "so" wrong. That seems to be the source of your problems.

It's not a terse "so!?" as shorthand for "so what?" It's a pleading so, as in "...so...? so what was the dream about? tell me!"

It's a placeholder for, "I'm interested, do go on."
posted by phunniemee at 7:28 AM on April 5, 2013 [9 favorites]

I haven't noticed it, but I would agree that it's an affectation. Just a "new" way to build a dialogue scene that's different from "And...?" or "Tell me about it?"
posted by gjc at 7:29 AM on April 5, 2013

Response by poster: Not to babysit, but I totally get by context that they are saying "I'm interested, do go on."

And I can only imagine that this must be inflected and delivered differently from "So [what]?"

But, as a Canadian, I don't think I have ever actually encountered anyone uttering the single word question "So?" to mean "I'm interested, do go on," regardless of intonation.

If you do encounter that construction in normal speech, do you mind stating in what part of the world and whether or not it's common usage?
posted by 256 at 7:32 AM on April 5, 2013

I also wonder if it stems from the increased use of "so" as a conversational tic or connector.

"How was your day?"

"So, you know how I was supposed to go to the turkey farm?"

In your usage, "so" becomes a prompt to begin the next sentence that would invariably begin with "so".
posted by gjc at 7:33 AM on April 5, 2013

don't think I have ever actually encountered anyone uttering the single word question "So?" to mean "I'm interested, do go on," regardless of intonation.

They are not saying So-question mark. They are saying So-ellipses. It's fairly common as in "complete your thought" or "explain the consequence of your previous statement". It's very easy to parse out the meaning in speech, but difficult in writing.

I'm in the Mid-Atlantic.
posted by spaltavian at 7:38 AM on April 5, 2013 [4 favorites]

It's "So, [what happened?]"
posted by milestogo at 7:38 AM on April 5, 2013 [3 favorites]

I suspect this is the (rough) literary equivalent of the thing on TV where people hang up when a conversation is done without saying "goodbye." Not a completely realistic depiction of conversation, but keeps from falling into the trap of realistic conversations being anathema to a brisk literary pace.
posted by griphus at 7:40 AM on April 5, 2013 [4 favorites]

And I can only imagine that this must be inflected and delivered differently from "So [what]?"

Yes, you're correct. That's what I was attempting to illustrate.

The best I can do in text is to suggest you read it as: _...so^?
(Now it's confusing and pretty!)

It's a leading question. You ask it as if you know there is a story to follow, and you want to goad the other person into continuing it.

For what it's worth, I use so like this. I'm midwestern, grew up in the south, and now live in Chicago.
posted by phunniemee at 7:40 AM on April 5, 2013 [3 favorites]

Yeah, I know I've used
"So.....?"
to mean "go on?" or "and by that you mean...?" or whatever.
posted by gauche at 7:40 AM on April 5, 2013

Also it keeps a conversation a conversation and not a monologue, but without putting too much focus on the listening half.
posted by griphus at 7:40 AM on April 5, 2013 [1 favorite]

Yeah, it's not "So?" as in "So, what do I care?" it's "So?" as in "So...? Are you going to tell me what happened?"

If you do encounter that construction in normal speech, do you mind stating in what part of the world and whether or not it's common usage?

It's very normal here (NE US) and, I think, in every part of the US I've lived or been to. E.g.:

"I finally went out with that guy from the dating site last night."
"So?"

"I just had my audition for that Broadway show!"
"So?"

Imagine the "So?" person sounding excited with anticipation of the cool story they are about to be told.
posted by DestinationUnknown at 7:41 AM on April 5, 2013 [1 favorite]

JErsey Phila - While "And...?" is more common i do hear "So..." occasionally.

"I ran into my ex."
"And..."
"We had a long talk and he called me the next day to meet up."
"So..."

Its as if "and" is to ask for more detail and "so" is to ask for a status in a lot of cases
posted by WeekendJen at 7:41 AM on April 5, 2013

I agree, I would read that the same way you did, as "so what" rather than "and so?". I have never heard "So?" used in that way by itself.

Except by Peter Lorre in the Mr. Moto movies, and even then he's more likely to say "Oh, so?"

On preview: If the author's intent is So-ellipses (which I hear all the time), it should be written "So..." and not "So?"
posted by Devoidoid at 7:41 AM on April 5, 2013 [1 favorite]

I grew up with the dismissive "So (what?)" usage exclusively, but now that I think about it I do use it as a invitation to continue also.

I wouldn't say it's necessarily polite though, although it doesn't have to be impolite. For me it's usually something along the lines of "(OK you have my attention) so (are you going to continue)?"

I wonder if it might have developed from texting or instant messaging, where an economy of letters is important, and it just turned out to be something that translated well enough to verbal communication.
posted by Balonious Assault at 7:41 AM on April 5, 2013

In this case, "so?" is being used as "and then what happened?"

It's when someone sets up a story and stops only to have you acknowledge them. There's not really a question that can be asked other than "And then?" so, "So" takes the place of it sometimes.
posted by inturnaround at 7:43 AM on April 5, 2013

If I'm interested, I'll say "so" but it will sounds more like sooooooo.... implying "tell me, tell me!".

If I don't give a shit, the so will have more attitude. Body language will also have attitude. Can also function as a please get to the fucking point.
posted by mokeydraws at 7:44 AM on April 5, 2013 [5 favorites]

Slightly different, but nonetheless fascinating, usage of "so," in Seamus Heaney's explanation of why he chose it as the first word of his translation of Beowulf:

Hwæt w Gr-Dena in gar-dagum
Þod-cyninga þrym gefrnon,
H p æþelingas ellen fremedon

Conventional renderings of hwæt, the first word of the poem, tend towards the archaic literary, with ‘lo’, ‘hark’, ‘behold’, ‘attend’ and – more colloquially – ‘listen’ being some of the solutions offered previously. But in Hiberno-English Scullion-speak, the particle ‘so’ came naturally to the rescue, because in that idiom ‘so’ operates as an expression that obliterates all previous discourse and narrative, and at the same time functions as an exclamation calling for immediate attention. So, ‘so’ it was:

So. The Spear-Danes in days gone by
and the kings who ruled them had courage and greatness.
We have heard of those princes’ heroic campaigns.

posted by payoto at 7:46 AM on April 5, 2013 [4 favorites]

So, also.
posted by Segundus at 7:49 AM on April 5, 2013

Northeast US. I use "so" in informal writing (email etc.) as Heaney did in payoto's comment. And I will say it in the way the OP described, but pretty much only if there was an unexpected pause. I.e.

Friend: "I just had the strangest dream."
[beat]
[beat]
[beat]
Kestrel: "...soooo...??"
posted by kestrel251 at 7:53 AM on April 5, 2013

I use it more in IM where someone starts to tell a story and then stops, mainly to remind them that they got distracted from talking to me.

But I also use it in real life. The inflection is less "So what?" dismissive and more drawn out and upraised as a question at the end: "Soooooo?" It's still mostly where there's an otherwise awkward pause in the conversation.

I am in Canada.
posted by jacquilynne at 8:03 AM on April 5, 2013 [1 favorite]

So=so what...who cares
So=so what then took place
abbreviated to the point that it can easily be misconstrued
posted by Postroad at 8:05 AM on April 5, 2013

I think the most likely explanation is that it's supposed to mimmic the '...sooo..?'. I (Michigan native) have used and heard used quite often in my life. However, the writer/editor did a poor job of communicating in print that there was an intended pause, drawing out, and inquiring inflection to prompt the other person to continue.

Second most likely, it was intended to be "So [what? Why bring this up?]". Similar to the above usage, but a little more rude. Used in this way you're trying to tell the other person "if this is what you want to talk about I hope it's more interesting than it sounds like."
posted by Green With You at 8:07 AM on April 5, 2013

The inflection is different.

"Soooo....???" With raised eyebrows and an inquisitive look. (Come on, don't make me drag it out, what happened?)

Or

"So?!?!" Short and upbeat with an excited shoulder shrug, hand gesture. (Ah I'm excited with you! What's the next part?!)

20-something American urbanite here.
posted by amaire at 8:09 AM on April 5, 2013 [4 favorites]

My great-grandmother has done this all her life. (At least as long as anyone in my family has known her). She's 94, Jewish, raised in New York from parents born in Austria.

Additionally, when she wants to ask about something, she always says "So, new?"

It's possibly related that my great-grandma is combining English and Yiddish phrases here, as nu is a Yiddish word: multipurpose interjection often analogous to "well?" or "so?" or a word used to express expectation.

I wonder if many people like my great-great grandparents, when learning English adopted phrases like "so, nu?" meaning "so, talk to me, tell me what's happening" and definitely not "so what?"
posted by inertia at 8:13 AM on April 5, 2013 [3 favorites]

I have heard and use it like the last four folks.

It's all about the inflection, so much so that lots of different words work.
"....Aaaaaaaaaannnd......?"
"......Sooooooooooooo...?"
"..... Yeeeeeeessss...?"

I'm in central Canada, but likely said this on the West coast, too.
posted by looli at 8:15 AM on April 5, 2013 [1 favorite]

And to contrast, the dismissive "so," usually has some eye-rolling or the hint of a shrug.
posted by looli at 8:16 AM on April 5, 2013

People totally do this in the mystical land of Japan. Unfortunately, it's a totally different language.
posted by KokuRyu at 8:28 AM on April 5, 2013

Inertia beat me to it. This person is trying to say "nu?" but unfortunately doesn't speak Yiddish so has to settle for the closest English analogue.
posted by escabeche at 9:04 AM on April 5, 2013 [5 favorites]

escabeche beat me with "nu?"
posted by Obscure Reference at 9:11 AM on April 5, 2013

But, as a Canadian, I don't think I have ever actually encountered anyone uttering the single word question "So?" to mean "I'm interested, do go on," regardless of intonation.

If you do encounter that construction in normal speech, do you mind stating in what part of the world and whether or not it's common usage?


Ontario, Canada. It's common in the same contexts others have mentioned, to mean "well? go on, tell me about it".

It sounds a bit weird in your example but a sample conversation for me would be something like:

"hey guess what, I finally heard back from that dude"
"so?"
"it looks like they're on board!"
"hurray!"

The dismissive "so??" is also common but is very distinguishable by tone of voice (more aggressive) and probably facial expression too.
posted by randomnity at 9:13 AM on April 5, 2013 [1 favorite]

It's a normal thing to encounter in early 20th century novels. I've always read it as short for the sense of "Oh, is that so?" Meaning "Oh really? Tell me more."
posted by Miko at 9:34 AM on April 5, 2013

So: even tone, draw out the vowel half a beat = tell me more.
So: falling tone, draw out ending for a beat or two for emphasis = I agree, and its (important, weighty, sad,)

So: rising tone, vowel sound almost like a dipthong (o-u) = So what? Big deal. (dismissive, condescending)

So: (Used at the beginning of a sentence, neutral tone, drawn out vowel for a beat or two: in context, it indicates a continuation, or a progression from some (conversational) point.

So: in a text message, it's just an annoying hesitation mark, better left out. In a conversation, ditto. Maybe it hints at an attempt to be polite.

But then, oldfarts like me are always a few beats behind the linguistic curve. So?
posted by mule98J at 9:35 AM on April 5, 2013

For whatever it's worth, the Japanese word so means almost exactly the same thing as the English word So. But it is often used exactly the way you're talking about. A common response to a statement will be so ka which translates pretty well as "Izzatso?"

Depending on context it can be sarcastic but usually it is not. More like "I acknowledge the reality of what you just said".

If a Japanese person wants to respond the equivalent of English "So what?" they would say sore ga doushite which means "What about it?"
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 9:42 AM on April 5, 2013

Since you're asking whether this is a regionalism and whether it's common, I hope it's okay that I offer a negative data point: I have never heard "So?" used to mean "do go on, tell me more" (mid-40s, upstate New York). People who use "So?" to me as a response, in any intonation or duration, will be heard as meaning "who cares?"
posted by gubo at 11:46 AM on April 5, 2013

It sounds very reality-TV to me.
posted by limeonaire at 12:14 PM on April 5, 2013

Works fine for me as a speaker of vaguely West Midlands accented standard English English. Basically, the more time you spend saying it, the less dismissive and the more inquisitive the "So?" becomes.
posted by ambrosen at 2:34 PM on April 5, 2013

I agree that "So...?" to mean "And then what?" is a thing, but I think it's more highly contextual than folks are suggesting.

This would sound normal to me:

PERSON 1: Ted and I had drinks last night.

PERSON 2: So...?

Where the so indicates EXTREME interest in the rest of the story. Presumably the topic of Ted and Person 1's relation to him has been discussed before, and Person 2 wants to be filled in. Did they sleep together? Finally move past that misunderstanding they'd had a few months ago? Dish the latest gossip about the big office drama?

This would sound strange to me, or like OP says, as if Person 2 was being dismissive:

PERSON 1: The new season of Mad Men premieres this weekend.

PERSON 2: So?

It's not shorthand for "Really?" or "Is that so?", or "I'm picking up what you're putting down.
posted by Sara C. at 7:34 PM on April 5, 2013

Best answer: Interesting. I do not use it like this myself, and I would say I have never heard it in this usage. I am a New Zealander living in Australia.

I'd like to say that is evidence that this usage has not spread down under yet, but as a linguist I know that people frequently claim that they themselves do not use (or even have never heard) newish usages in language that are all around them. It tends to take 20-30 years for people to become consciously aware of new linguistic features and start talking about them. (Generally: to start writing angry letters to the newspaper about the bad grammar of young people today.)
posted by lollusc at 8:44 PM on April 5, 2013 [2 favorites]

Response by poster: Indeed lollusc. This thread has, among other things, made me doubt my conviction that I have never heard this construction.

One thing I have realized though is that, in my dialect, the role people are describing is filled primarily (almost exclusively) by "And?"
posted by 256 at 12:58 PM on April 6, 2013