Ever fallen in love with someone?
August 20, 2005 4:08 AM   Subscribe

I went on a course with work last week and I met someone who made me feel something that I've not felt ever before in my life. What should I do?

I dont know this person too well but what I do know I like. I felt a kind electricity that I have NEVER felt before with any other person. I think she felt the same.

Am I right to pursue it? I felt a oneness that I have never known before and it's totally freaked me out. This wasnt a desire to have sex but to be with someone no matter what.

Anything I do will lead to tears- that I know- but I also think that as I only live once I should maybe investigate it a bit more. We live at opposite ends of the country (UK) and are both in LTRs. I dont want to live my life thinking about some thing that might have been.
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (34 answers total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
Only you know whether your LTR is the real deal and worth avoiding the temptation. Whatever your decision, remember clean breaks are the best breaks, and that the person you've met can be arsed around and upset in the same way your SO can. No one else has the answer. Tread carefully. Don't mess with anyone.
posted by nthdegx at 5:06 AM on August 20, 2005

You probably should follow it up. These experiences only come a few times in anyone's life.

But ask yourself whether you're willing to end your existing relationship before even attempting to take up anything with the new person. It is a strong commitment, risking losing your existing partner on something that may turn out to be nothing more than a pipe dream.

Nevertheless it would be wrong to attempt to start up a relationship with someone new while you're still beholden to your existing long term relationship.
posted by skylar at 5:16 AM on August 20, 2005

Do no wrong is the whole of the law.

Nobody else can help you decide how to do it. Tears are inevitable. Behave with honour, with love and honesty, and everything else is mere detail.

That said, what you like is not always necessarily what you need.

Or, what nthdegx said.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 5:18 AM on August 20, 2005

Let me tell you a story:

Many, many years ago, a friend of mine (who we shall call "benzo8" for the sake of The Truth) was in a great long-term relationship with a fantastic girl - she was fun, interesting, intelligent, beautiful and talented. They were both very, very happy.

But then, one day, he met another girl, the sister of a friend. There was a spark - no, there was an arc - between them. It was electricity. It was exciting. It was different. benzo8 made a move on the New Girl, who said she couldn't consider anything happening between them while he was still in his LTR.

And so it was that he found himself standing on the doorstep of his girlfriend's house and heard himself saying the words "It's over. It's over. (It's beyond my control...)" to a stunned, innocent young woman. Even as he turned from the door, he felt his brain and his heart both screaming at him to turn back, apologise, make it right. But he didn't... The girl, of course, took it badly. Very badly. She ended up in hospital with pneumonia and she very nearly died. Very. Nearly.

Of course, things didn't work out between him and The New Girl either. Once the excitement of something new had passed (and pass it did, and quickly) and the guilt had set in of having broken the heart of someone altogether much more worthy, well, the relationship fizzled disappointingly, given the absolute beleif at the start that this was The Big One...

So our Hero (or our Villian - that's probably closer to the truth) found himself without either girl, alone, depressed and guilt-ridden. He spent the next two years trying to make amends with his old girlfriend but, understandably, she didn't want to hear it. He learned, slowly, that What You've Got is better than What You Think You Want - what you want is rarely even as good. The time invested in getting What You've Got to Where It Is actually means that WYTYW isn't even WYTYW - it's just a simulcrum...

Is that the moral of this story? I don't know - it's not an answer for you, but it's a cautionary tale at least. Maybe there isn't a moral. Maybe life is about being selfish and doing what you want, 'cause soon you'll die and then you'll be sorry. But then, you could always end up with nothing. And then you'll be sorrier...

(There is an epilogue to this take. The Girlfriend came back, two years later, out of the blue, and wanted to try again. It lasted six weeks. Nothing is ever the same after two years of absence... But at least it assuaged the guilt. Finally.)
posted by benzo8 at 5:25 AM on August 20, 2005 [1 favorite]

Only, only, only consider it if (and only if) you would have no major problem with splitting up with your current partner anyway. If the relationship isn't working out or going well, then you can go for it. If you're already in a good relationship, don't be a fool.

(My girlfriend, next to me, just said she agrees 100%, hehe)
posted by wackybrit at 5:33 AM on August 20, 2005 [1 favorite]

Every cowboy sings a sad, sad song.
posted by craniac at 5:59 AM on August 20, 2005

You need to be looking at the relationship that you're already in, and deciding how you would feel about not having it anymore. This is going to depend heavily on what type of person you are, but the comfort and stability of a well-established relationship is something that we tend to take for granted after a while and regret not having once it's gone. The world is full of people who left something good for something new and exciting, and in my experience it usually doesn't work out.
posted by Who_Am_I at 7:09 AM on August 20, 2005

100% agree with benzo8 and most of what wackybrit says.

Electricity always comes with a cost and is dangerous when you play with it.

When you listen to stories of how happy couples came to be it's rarely with that "electricity" feeling. Often there can be a spark, a click, a feeling of having known someone for years. But those electric moments and impulses don't seem to last.

I say recognize it for what it is and make out with your girlfriend like you just started dating.
posted by FlamingBore at 7:53 AM on August 20, 2005 [1 favorite]

There have been many of these threads in AskMe, usually anonymous. During one, someone commented that there are many, many paths to happiness in life, and it's rarely necessary to choose one that hurts another person.

Also, Benzo08's story is worth the price of admission. If you haven't reached the point of maturity where you can learn from others' mistakes, I pity you.

Every proverb exists for good reason, including, "The grass is always greener on the other side."
posted by cribcage at 7:54 AM on August 20, 2005 [1 favorite]

I have to temper all the comments from people implying that you shouldn't take the risk.

Nearly two years ago I felt that arc of electricity with someone, an unbelievably powerful sensation that I had never felt with anyone before. It was the first and only time I ever had the strong realisation that I would marry the person if I could.

This woman and I were able to explore the boundaries of our passion, and so I know my feelings were requited. Separately, a few months later I ended a very long term relationship. However, even though I was now free, for various reasons the spark and I had to agree not to see one another. And for various reasons, I am not able to change that decision.

Every single day I regret not pursuing that potential. So far she is the only person I have ever been truly in love with - and to say I think about her every day would be a massive understatement.

If I could go back and change things, to see where our adventure may have taken us, I would. And would I go back to my previous relationship? As it happens, no, I wouldn't. Ultimately, of course, I lost both things.

As I said earlier, the question you need to ask yourself is: are you prepared to lose your long term relationship over something which may turn out to be nothing? If you are, then you should do it. Of course forging a relationship from a spark is always going to be hard, but so many people live their entire lives without ever even feeling that spark at all that I think it's a tragedy not to pursue the few opportunities you get.
posted by skylar at 8:21 AM on August 20, 2005 [1 favorite]

I've heard stories about "the thunderbolt" as the Italians call it and while I can't give you any advice in your case, I would just like to pipe up to say I'm desperately jealous. I've always wanted to feel that. Those stories are so rare. The best one is on This American Life's Conventions show, which made me half believe in some sort of mystical True Love.
I'd love to hear more from people who had that instant mutual connection and did follow through. Do such things usually work out or is it just some kind of chemical hooey?
posted by CunningLinguist at 9:22 AM on August 20, 2005

In my experience (and the experience of almost all of my friends) relationships that start off electrically and heat up quickly tend to flame up and burn out. This goes for both romantic and platonic relationships.

To me, the best relationships I have are the ones that took time to grow and were nurtured consciously, not just experienced as a rush of emotion that swept me away.
posted by hollygoheavy at 9:57 AM on August 20, 2005 [3 favorites]

I think most any relationship can be made to be a wonderful, electrical relationship. It's all about the effort you put into making it so.

You don't get something for nothing.
posted by five fresh fish at 10:20 AM on August 20, 2005

I felt that and followed it (to the other side of the world). I wasn't in a LTR, but I might have been (given my 'romantic' history). Two years later, I'm happier than I knew I could be. I can't tell you what to do, but I think what five fresh fish is saying is rubbish. I beat myself up with that idea in previous relationships, what I have now is a whole different kind of thing.
posted by crabintheocean at 10:47 AM on August 20, 2005 [1 favorite]

I disagree with hollygoheavy. Electricity and nurturing don't have to be opposed. When I first started dating my boyfriend, I was utterly swept away. As time went on, that feeling ebbed and we continued to nurture our relationship. Four years on (which is not so short and not so long), we have a really solid relationship, based both on inexplicable affection and the knowledge that we can work things out. The one relationship I ever had that was without the first spark was the biggest interpersonal disaster I was ever involved in. Not every person who captured my mind was right for me, of course, but lack of electric attraction . . .

Anyway, to answer the OP's question, you can't run away from nurturing into electricity and not get back to a regular old relationship at some point. But that doesn't mean it isn't worth telling caution to take a hike.
posted by dame at 10:58 AM on August 20, 2005

The answer depends on the level of committment that you and your partner have expressed to your LTR. A marriage is one thing, at the opposite end of the spectrum is an open relationship. I'm assuming marriage, or the functional equivalent. If I'm wrong, then only you can determine what's right.

But if I'm right, then contrary to much of the advice that's been given here so far: If you're in an LTR, you don't have the right to care exclusively about your happiness. What you do affects your partner deeply, and you must take that into account. In fact, the happiness of your partner should be your primary (and overriding) concern - his or her well-being should matter more to you than your own well-being. That's what love is, nothing else; And if you don't have that kind of love with the person you're with, then you won't have it with anyone, because the problem is you, not your relationship, and you always take you with you.

I'm not saying, of course, that you should deny the way you're currently feeling. Feelings can't be held captive, and you wouldn't want to even if you could. But you do have a choice of how you respond to your feelings: will you honor your relationship with your current partner, or will you give in to momentary passion? All relationships are unconfortable or inconvenient at times - if you give in to your momentary desires this time, you'll probably do so next time too, which means that you're not (and never were, and maybe never will be) really committed to anyone but yourself. That is called selfishness.

Treat your partner with the respect and love that he or she deserves, consistent with the terms of the relationship as you and your partner have created it.
posted by gd779 at 11:09 AM on August 20, 2005 [2 favorites]

I think you are falling victim to the legendary "new love effect". The way I've come to understand this, many/most/all people simply do not remember emotions very well. At least not the intensity of them. So, it is way too easy to say as you did, "I met someone who made me feel something that I've not felt ever before in my life. "

It is normal to think that, but the fact is that it almost certainly is not true. New feelings are just more intense than remembered feelings. That fact, combined with the harmful meme of "soulmates", have destroyed an uncountable number of LTRs/Marriages.

If you have a good LTR now, keep it. I can guarantee that the new-love-rush will fade regardless of anything you do. Luckily, the "falling feeling" is not what healthy happy relationships are based upon.
posted by Invoke at 11:38 AM on August 20, 2005

There are countless stories of people who get hit by the thunderbolt, follow it, and it doesn't work out (see fff above). There are countless stories of people who get hit by the thunderbolt, follow it, and it does work out (see crabintheocean above). None of them tell you what getting hit actually means for you. (Note: I'm leaving out the issue of your current LTR because I generally agree with the answers saying you need to be clear about the state/health of your current relationship -- i.e., if it's good, it's worth keeping -- and also because I think it's helpful to try to demystify the "meaning" of the electricity/thunderbolt/chemical reaction experience by itself.)

The thunderbolt is amazing (and, to disagree with Invoke's answer, is indeed distinct from the general initial exhilaration of falling in love -- the majority of loving relationships I've been in did not start out with the thunderbolt). It's exhilarating beyond all compare. I consider myself enormously lucky to have been hit not once, but twice. The first time it happened, I actually questioned my own agnosticism for awhile, because I was so dazed by our immediate "oneness" that I thought there had to be some sort of divine intervention that brought us together.

And for all that, I don't think that it really means much for the long-term. In fact, it was the memory of the thunderbolt -- plus the fond, almost-mythologized memories of the heated drama of our first several months together -- that helped keep me clinging to the "divine intervention" relationship for years after it had stagnated. (Not to mention the fact that the seemingly mystical "oneness" we'd appeared to share at first of course covered up some rather significant, fundamental differences and incompatibilities.) I'd put so much stock in the thunderbolt and the subsequent narrative I had developed around it (i.e., believed "but we're meant to be together! We wouldn't have started out that way if we weren't!") that it took me a long time to realize that the relationship itself had burned out, despite our genuine affection and attachment to one another. What had started out as a thunderbolt ended up just nailing me in place.

The second time has been more recent -- just a few months ago recent, in fact. And yes, the relationship is progressing along nicely, and yes, we still have an awful lot of chemistry between us. But this time I'm actively trying to resist turning it into a narrative of how we're meant to be together, how he's The One, etc. --- it's tempting to think all that, but it's not realistic or healthy. If New Guy and I do wind up creating a long-term, healthy relationship marked by real commitment and intimacy, it's going to be for reasons that have very little to do with our initial, off-the-charts chemical reaction. High-intensity mutual attraction (physically, emotionally, and verbally) is wonderful to experience, but definitely no guarantee of long-term compatibility.
posted by scody at 12:07 PM on August 20, 2005 [1 favorite]

clarification: for some reason, I attributed the "not working out" story to fff, when I was actually referring to benzo8's story. carry on.
posted by scody at 12:19 PM on August 20, 2005

High-intensity mutual attraction (physically, emotionally, and verbally) is wonderful to experience, but definitely no guarantee of long-term compatibility.

Scody, if that's how you're defining the "thunderbolt," then what is normal falling in love?
posted by dame at 12:23 PM on August 20, 2005

Of course there's plenty of mutual physical/emotional/verbal attraction in the course of "normal" (that is, non-thunderbolt-prompted) falling in love. I meant "high intensity" in that exceedingly rare, to-the-nth-degree that seems to be what we're generally agreeing "the thunderbolt" to mean (and what Anon seemed to be describing) -- you know, when you're both hit with ALL of that all at ONCE (and specifically before you've actually had much time to know each other on a practical level) with a highly unusual, inexplicable, even irrational intensity (hence the comparisons to dramatic natural phenomena like lightning, explosions, or chemical reactions), as distinct from the more gradual process that tends to mark the growth of most attraction/relationships/falling in love otherwise.
posted by scody at 1:14 PM on August 20, 2005

You might consider a recent scientific study comparing relationships to atomic nuclei. "Richard Ecob adapted a system for modelling atoms in radioactive decay to investigate how we look for partners. He found that "super daters", people who have many short relationships, have a good effect on others' lives.

This is because they break up weak couples, forcing their victims to find better relationships."

posted by johngoren at 3:39 PM on August 20, 2005 [2 favorites]

If you don't know the difference between falling in love and the thunderbolt, you haven't been hit by the thunderbolt (yet). There will be no doubt in your mind.

CL, here's my thunderbolt story. I was 16, working my first job at a movie theatre. I was counting the money in my drawer, getting ready to start my shift, when I looked up to see a guy walked down the lobby. I stared at him the whole way. It was like slow motion. I can't even explain what a fog I was in for months afterwards. I don't believe in "love at first sight" but whatever composes these thunderbolts in almost supernatural.

Unfortunately, this was a one-way thunderbolt. He had a girlfriend at the time. I juggled my work schedule to see him as often as possible. Though he would tell me later he had been attracted to me, it clearly was never on the same level. He quit after 3 months and he was gone, or so I thought.

2 weeks later I was in my car and waiting at a stoplight. I looked to my left to see him coming to a stop. He said Hi, asked where I was going, and we met up. This was the beginning of the most intense 9 days of my life. The whole things still seems like a dream sequence 17 years later. I let it slip at some point that I saw myself marrying him. I definitely would have laid down in front of train to save him. I think of this sometimes when I hear of women who stay with abusive men. I would never tolerate violence from any man, but looking back I might have from him.

On the 9th day, he stood me up for a date at the movie theatre. I waited hours, called his house 10 times looking for him, and finally went home. He called me that night to say he had attempted suicide and was getting back together with his girlfriend. I would later find out the guy had very serious problems (obviously), so it was a blessing, I guess.

Let's just say I hope to never get hit by the thunderbolt again. It took me a decade to get over those 9 days. I don't think a day went by I didn't think of him, and I spent every year bawling on the anniversary of the day he left. If anyone so much as said his name (referring to another person of the same name), the pain was searing. I had to ask a friend who had an ex of the same name to only use his first initial when she spoke of him, and this was 5 years on.

10 years in, I got a tattoo of a broken heart with his initials on it. I figured if I hadn't gotten over him by then, I never would. Funny thing is, I seemed to get better after. 17 years later now, I think of him rarely and only feel sadness when people talk about the thunderbolt, or I see it in a movie.

I am now in a happy marriage with someone I fell in love with (and fell in love with me) very quickly. But it wasn't the thunderbolt. If it ever happens again, I will RUN.
posted by Sorcia at 3:42 PM on August 20, 2005 [2 favorites]

I'm with benzo8, Sorcia, and especially craniac ("every cowboy sings a sad song") on this one. Be damn sure you understand what you're giving up, and consider what it will mean to live with that knowledge. Everyone gets his/her heart broken real bad at least once, maybe twice. So to take that as normal, I figure the heartbreaker gets one, maybe two shots before s/he's living on borrowed kharma. But don't waste one without a second thought, or ten.
posted by realcountrymusic at 4:42 PM on August 20, 2005 [1 favorite]

My wife and I felt both felt the "thunderbolt" when we first met, but it was almost five years between that and the time that we first actually started dating. At the time we met, she was actually living with someone, and between that point and the time we finally got together, she actually moved halfway across the world with him, dumped him, and went through _another_ LTR. (I was just kind of floating around like the young doofus I was.) We became very good friends, in the meantime--with an openly problematic chemistry that we only tended to talk about late at night after several beers.

Neither one of us either stopped thinking of each other when we were apart, and while we definitely tried to treat the other people in our lives honorably, both of us definitely used the other as the standard that we held everyone else to.

I guess my basic point is that you don't have to force things, and throw your life into turmoil over what's basically an unknown. It's very, very possible that your infatuation with this other person will pass, and six months from now you'll think she's a self-involved jerk. It's possible that six months from now you'll be good friends who have the discipline to keep each other at arm's length, and it's also possible that in six months that you'll be married.

The most important thing, though, is to make sure that if things _do_ work out between you and this new woman, that neither one of you look back with real regret about how you got there. Even worse would be to end up with no one, _and_ a genuine sense of guilt about how you handled things.

You owe your current SO a clear indication of how you really feel about her--if you weren't really committed to the relationship _before_ you met this other woman, then you should up front about _that_, and not necessarily the other person. If you were genuinely committed before this whole thing comes up, you owe her a chance to be all that for you, and more, before you give her up for an unknown quantity.

In the meantime, though, that doesn't mean you can't establish a genuine friendship with this other person, as long as you can be mature about it. I've definitely got friends in my life that I had the same kind of initial chemistry with, but it never really came to fruition, and now we're all very happy with other people. That's what I thought things were going with my wife, but allowing that intermediate relationship to happen really opened up the chance for the long-term thing to flower. Both of us really think that if we had pursued the opportunity up front, when we were a lot younger, there's a very good chance we wouldn't still be together now.
posted by LairBob at 5:11 PM on August 20, 2005

If you don't know the difference between falling in love and the thunderbolt, you haven't been hit by the thunderbolt (yet).

It was a rhetorical question. My point being that every good love of my life started that way. I wouldn't bother if it hadn't.
posted by dame at 9:15 PM on August 20, 2005

Oops, let me try that again. Bad request, my right eye.

If you don't know the difference between falling in love and the thunderbolt, you haven't been hit by the thunderbolt (yet).

It was a rhetorical question. My point being that every good love of my life started that way. I wouldn't bother if it hadn't. Which is to say what anon is experiencing is new love, so it won't be different in the long run, unless the old version begain inauspiciously.
posted by dame at 9:31 PM on August 20, 2005

Read the reply to this question, and figure out to whom it applies to.
posted by sleslie at 10:02 PM on August 20, 2005

I dont want to live my life thinking about some thing that might have been.

No, no you don't. But apply this same idea to the relationship you may be throwing away and you've got something to think about. Do you really want to pursue this whim and kick yourself forever for going oogly over someone truly unavailable to you, to the detriment of a relationship you've already worked to establish and committed to?

It depends on the entire picture, of course. If your present relationship really isn't doing it for you and you can exit it with minimal pain then you have less to lose - and stranger things have happened than people moving to be together.

Here's my direct advice: talk honestly with the person who sparked this interest. Pursue it. In almost no time, you'll realize that you can't just pick up your life and make this connection blossom, or that one of you doesn't feel the same as the other. Almost as soon as you begin to pursue it, it will begin to look like an untenable pipe dream, and the initial heat of it will fade. Eventually you'll realize that it isn't going to work out, and that you're being silly, and that feeling you were so moved by will wither and stop torturing you eventually. That might take time.

But better to pursue it and fully realize how untenable it is than let it sit and fester in fantasy land, where everything is possible, where you really CAN be together and orgasmically happy. As long as you keep this new connection in fantasy-land, it will remain the brightest and best thing ever to happen to you and it will torture you and wear on your current relationship.

I say bring it out into the light and see if it has the legs to stand in the same real world, where you already have something good going. Make the playing field level, and my guess is that it won't seem so fantastic, by comparison, for long.

No tears required. And no, some emails and some exploration of it is not immediately tantamount to adultery. Others will disagree and I repsect their POV. Mine is that we're human and this is something that happens from time to time. Negotiating it intelligently, realistically, and fairly is the most honest and wisest thing to do. But by all means pull your head out of fantasy land and stop comparing the real-world relationship you have, which is subject to everyday pressures and realities, to some passing impression of someone more or less unavailable, which seems to offer more, but only in potential, not in reality.

Good luck.
posted by scarabic at 12:07 AM on August 21, 2005

There will be no doubt in your mind.

CL, here's my thunderbolt story. I was 16

I'm really envious of people who feel the thunderbolt at 16, marry that person, and live happily ever after. For the rest of us, it's not so easy to view life in one's 20s/30s/40s/etc through the lens of 16 and feel "no doubt" about anything. Everything you feel when you're 16 is the only thing you've EVER felt, and you're certain about EVERYTHING. I try to separate out being 16 and feeling the thunderbolt when I think back on the thunderbolt that hit me at 16 (actually 17 in my case). If I set the love I've felt in more recent times up against that love, it will seem much less passionate, much less immediate, much less certain. But it is also more complex, more real, more selfless, more sustaining, more giving, more thoughtful, and manifested in much more than hormonal response. They're both wonderful. Mature love is like 110 volts of DC compared to a thunderbolt. Sure, the thunderbolt is more impressive, but it frys all your circuits, and you can actually run your home on 110V.
posted by scarabic at 12:20 AM on August 21, 2005 [1 favorite]

Incidentally - here's a thought:

If you've been hit by the thunderbolt, great. Do you also need to have a relationship with this person? I sound pretty jaded already, but I have to say that the minutae of being with someone else, including sex, are pretty much visceral afterthoughts compared to how you feel inside when you've been hit. Enjoy it. You don't have to remake your life to do that.
posted by scarabic at 12:25 AM on August 21, 2005

(The Long Winters)

She has no idea she could make me do anything
She acts like it’s the simplest thing for me to be there
You tell me no
That I’m a fool to go calling her, I'm calling her
You can call me stupid when she tells me it has to end

Stupid, you could call it that
Stupid, but you have no idea
How stupid I would feel
If fifteen years from now I see her
And she says why didn’t it happen between us, stupid?

New York soon will hum
The electric car has come
She laughs when I pretend to fall
You call me out
Let her down easy please, can’t you see she believes?
My friend, you called me stupid then, but you’re the one that doesn’t see
posted by black8 at 5:16 AM on August 21, 2005

There have been many of these threads in AskMe, usually anonymous. During one, someone commented that there are many, many paths to happiness in life, and it's rarely necessary to choose one that hurts another person.

That would be this:

"There are many people in this life that will make you happy, there are many roads to happiness in this life. Try to find one that does not cause others great pain. To do anything less is, I believe, to act immorally."


You speak of this "desire to be with someone no matter what" with regards to the new person, but it raises the question: what are you doing in a relationship with someone you "NEVER" felt that way for? (Not a judgement - but isn't feeling that way about someone THE litmus test for getting into a relationship?)

I have very little to add that hasn't already been said. My take is identical to gd779's, so just read it twice. :)
posted by Lush at 9:44 AM on August 21, 2005

I have felt The Thunderbelt precisely once. I was on a train. A girl sat opposite me and smiled. The world around me disappeared. She was literally bathed in light. We just stared at each other - and stared, and stared. Neither of us looked away. The light never left her, and I felt like I had been submerged in warm honey.

After an eternity, her friend tapped her on the shoulder to get off the train. She had that dreamy, goofy Drew-Barrymore-kissed-by-Adam-Sandler look on her face, looked startled, and got up. She looked back at me as she walked down the carriage, and looked at me through the window as the train left the station.

I never saw her again, have never had that feeling since, and don't regret a thing. I was (and still am) happily married, and put it down to One Of Those Things, like deja vu. It's nice to know there's somebody out there that could make me feel that way, if only in my head and if only for a while, but it's even nicer to know that I have absolutely no urge to find her or anybody else because I'm perfectly happy where I am.
posted by obiwanwasabi at 5:13 PM on August 21, 2005 [1 favorite]

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