Make a wench of me.
May 18, 2012 6:40 PM   Subscribe

What do ladies wear to kink events in NYC? And where can I, a plus-sized woman, shop for such clothes? Brick and mortar preferred.

This one's a two-parter:

1. What do ladies wear to kink events in NYC? When TES has a Pirates and Wenches party, are most of the wenches only half-dressed? I haven't been to any events yet, and I really want to attend, but I have no clue what to wear.

2. Where do you shop for corsets and petticoats and stockings and garter belts and whatever else is needed for these occasions? Where do you shop for these things if you're a larger lass? Are there brick and mortar stores where I'll be able to try stuff on and see how it looks before taking the plunge? The stuff I'm finding online is expensive, and I want to know that it looks good on me before I break the bank.

Bonus question: Are there styles or looks that say "domme" versus styles that say "sub"?
posted by KinkySockPuppet to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion (2 answers total) 6 users marked this as a favorite

Best answer: So all my scene advice is about a year and a half out of date (I have an 8 month old, you do the math!) but I think a lot of it still applies.

Purple Passion is awesome. Everyone who works there is a genuine member of the NYC scene and can answer these kinds of questions for you. I love, love, love them. At least one of the women who works there is plus-sized and into corsets (if Lolita still works there, which I bet she does). You can try things on there.

These are all for women but some apply to men too: Collar = sub, usually. Although some people take collars seriously as a sign of commitment, some subs just wear them for generic sub reasons. Showing lots of skin or going topless tends to be a sub thing. Boots tend to be a dom thing. Shoes that literally hobble you, sub thing. Doms sometimes carry things to beat people with (just me?) or rope, but then again subs might be carrying those things around in the hopes of getting beaten or roped! Corsets can go either way. Headbands with ears on them, tails, usually subs.

You can also sometimes tell by the way people interact with each other, but the dynamic is sometimes just individual to those two people. Body language says a lot, because subs will sometimes be kneeling or on all fours or on a leash. Doms will be stepping on people (heh).

If you're a straight submissive female, most people will assume that is what you are. Submissive guys might be like "are you...sure?" or try to get you to beat them up. It can be fun even if you're not into it, but feel free to be curt with them. If you're a dominant woman you will not lack for potential partners who will approach you. Women in general tend to do well for themselves.

Lots of people switch, or just like sensation play, or just do spanking, or whatever, so talking is standard and striking up conversations with lots of different people is a good idea, both for finding potential partners and for making friends (making some female friends of your same orientation is an excellent idea for many reasons).

TES events: wear whatever makes you feel sexy and comfortable. Seriously. There will be people there in street clothes and people in costumes. Lots of quirk.
posted by the young rope-rider at 8:43 PM on May 18, 2012 [3 favorites]

Response by poster: Thanks to the young rope-rider, I went to Purple Passion yesterday and got myself fitted for my first corset. Problem solved! Thanks again, tyrr, you're a lifesaver.
posted by KinkySockPuppet at 12:26 PM on June 18, 2012

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