An injury is much sooner forgotten than an insult - helmet for Dad.
December 25, 2011 3:19 AM Subscribe
My father has falls. He's got Parkinsons, sort of. He's just been put in to a helmet by the nursing home folk. I"ve just seen it on Facebook. Worn by a young person here--> This made me quite upset.
He's an intelligent and dignified man. A retired academic. And now he looks.... well... it's terrible. I'm trying to find him something concealable or ... less buffoonish.
I wistfully looked at wrestling helmets but they seem to be ear protection only. Can any one here with better google-fu or actual experience point me to a SOFT helmet for a man with a large head, glasses and who is completely powerless in a terrible situation? He's only 74. I'll pay what it takes to get him something befitting a man of his age and gravitas.
I sound a bit sooky. And shockingly pretentious. And I probably am. But he's my dad and this was my christmas surprise on my sisters Facebook page two hours ago. He lives over a 1000 kilometres away so I hadn't seen it.
We're both in Australia and he pretty much can't leave the nursing home and I can't get to him. Any assistance or advice would be much appreciated. Thank you possums.
I wistfully looked at wrestling helmets but they seem to be ear protection only. Can any one here with better google-fu or actual experience point me to a SOFT helmet for a man with a large head, glasses and who is completely powerless in a terrible situation? He's only 74. I'll pay what it takes to get him something befitting a man of his age and gravitas.
I sound a bit sooky. And shockingly pretentious. And I probably am. But he's my dad and this was my christmas surprise on my sisters Facebook page two hours ago. He lives over a 1000 kilometres away so I hadn't seen it.
We're both in Australia and he pretty much can't leave the nursing home and I can't get to him. Any assistance or advice would be much appreciated. Thank you possums.
Falls Safety Products makes soft helmets. I'm sorry your father is so ill. I hope he is being provided a walker so that he can steady himself when he walks around.
posted by shoesietart at 3:33 AM on December 25, 2011
posted by shoesietart at 3:33 AM on December 25, 2011
Response by poster: That's what I've been looking at Blazecock. But are there any Rolls Royce slim and elegant rugby helmets for the athlete/faller that has everything?
posted by taff at 3:33 AM on December 25, 2011
posted by taff at 3:33 AM on December 25, 2011
Response by poster: I saw those shoesie but they looked almost worse.
He isn't allowed to walk. The nursing home have his feet on an alarmed pad and if he takes them off it people come running. It's worse than prison. But of course, he tries. He was the judo champion of Australia in the 50s or 60s. Beat the world champion once. It's a very big adjustment in his self identity... and a big one for us to see.
This is probably his diagnosis He's 6 foot 5 so it's a big drop when he does it.
posted by taff at 3:38 AM on December 25, 2011 [1 favorite]
He isn't allowed to walk. The nursing home have his feet on an alarmed pad and if he takes them off it people come running. It's worse than prison. But of course, he tries. He was the judo champion of Australia in the 50s or 60s. Beat the world champion once. It's a very big adjustment in his self identity... and a big one for us to see.
This is probably his diagnosis He's 6 foot 5 so it's a big drop when he does it.
posted by taff at 3:38 AM on December 25, 2011 [1 favorite]
Best answer: Head Bumpa is in Australia.
posted by shoesietart at 3:38 AM on December 25, 2011 [5 favorites]
posted by shoesietart at 3:38 AM on December 25, 2011 [5 favorites]
Response by poster: Oh my goodness, shoesie, you saved my christmas night. I promise I googled the crap out of this before turning to AskMeta. That link is perfect on every single count. You are a legend and I shall be forever in your debt. I don't know how you did it, but that is exactly what I didn't know I was looking for. Have sent it to my sister for dad's consideration in the morning.
You've made me a bit more teary than I already was. Thank you from the bottom of my antipodean bottom, possum. Seriously, thank you. Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss.
posted by taff at 3:50 AM on December 25, 2011 [18 favorites]
You've made me a bit more teary than I already was. Thank you from the bottom of my antipodean bottom, possum. Seriously, thank you. Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss.
posted by taff at 3:50 AM on December 25, 2011 [18 favorites]
You're welcome! I really hope it helps.
posted by shoesietart at 4:08 AM on December 25, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by shoesietart at 4:08 AM on December 25, 2011 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: At the very least, it will make me feel better to offer. If he wants it, better still. But I guess I have to do that whole "respecting boundaries" thing and if he doesn't like it... well... it's aJonathan Thurston special forever.
posted by taff at 4:24 AM on December 25, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by taff at 4:24 AM on December 25, 2011 [1 favorite]
If it didn't have to be a soft helmet, I would have suggested something from Yakkay. They do bike helmets with various covers.
posted by sciencegeek at 5:40 AM on December 25, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by sciencegeek at 5:40 AM on December 25, 2011 [2 favorites]
I just saw this ad on facebook in the sidebar. I'm not sure if it's what your looking for, but the style is pretty neat.
Poc
posted by neversummer at 8:37 AM on December 25, 2011
Poc
posted by neversummer at 8:37 AM on December 25, 2011
Do you know if they're working on doing therapy with him to try and strengthen his leg muscles, or have they simply given up and are just stuffing him into a wheelchair so they don't have to try? I mention this because if he's doing some kind of physical therapy it gives him a safe environment to walk around instead of driving the nurses crazy. (If they're not, I'd find out WHY real damn fast. I have a healthy mistrust of nursing homes after having several family members who had to move into them.)
posted by Heretical at 9:03 AM on December 25, 2011
posted by Heretical at 9:03 AM on December 25, 2011
Not "allowed" to walk? Please tell me he is allowed and even encouraged to walk with assistance!
posted by SLC Mom at 9:04 AM on December 25, 2011
posted by SLC Mom at 9:04 AM on December 25, 2011
Or what Heretical said. I'll bet he's typing with a full keyboard!
posted by SLC Mom at 9:07 AM on December 25, 2011
posted by SLC Mom at 9:07 AM on December 25, 2011
i came to suggest a big, russian, beaver hat. i used to have one and it was way padded. they def. have an air of eccentricity, but, oh god yes, much more dignity than a dayglo patterened wrestling helmet.
posted by sexyrobot at 12:09 PM on December 25, 2011
posted by sexyrobot at 12:09 PM on December 25, 2011
Response by poster: Because of his height he is only allowed to walk with TWO staff members at his side at all times. Obviously there are not two staff members available simultaneously very often.
I'm a quality over quantity of life person. If walking and being free of an idiotic helmet means he falls and it contributes to the shortening of his life...well, it's hard, but I would prefer him to live the end of his life with dignity and would take that risk.
He's in a nursing home and his almost-estranged wife pops in for visits sometimes. This is not life. But it's not my call. I'm the most junior daughter and my dad has Stockholm Syndrome if ever I saw it.
posted by taff at 12:29 PM on December 25, 2011
I'm a quality over quantity of life person. If walking and being free of an idiotic helmet means he falls and it contributes to the shortening of his life...well, it's hard, but I would prefer him to live the end of his life with dignity and would take that risk.
He's in a nursing home and his almost-estranged wife pops in for visits sometimes. This is not life. But it's not my call. I'm the most junior daughter and my dad has Stockholm Syndrome if ever I saw it.
posted by taff at 12:29 PM on December 25, 2011
My dad has dementia and at times has had difficulty with balance and falling, and I would choose any helmet in an instant over no helmet at all. I feel for your desire for dignity here (and I'm cognizant that your dad is probably more aware of his appearance and condition than mine), but I'm not sure why dignity trumps safety. Ultimately it's just a piece of medical equipment, and I gently suggest that your reaction to it is more emotional than practical.
Your dad, after all, is still your dad, still in many ways the man you remember and clearly love. If he's wearing a funny hat, is that really important?
Coming to terms with these issues can be very difficult. It took me a long time to deal with the fact that my dad wasn't himself anymore, and he was an historian dubbed a "brilliant" mind and respected in the community. To me, your offense at the safety helmet that he has been given is a form of bargaining. If he had a broken leg, would you consider a cast an affront to his dignity?
My dad's falls resulted in huge familial trauma, lost time at work, sleepless nights, and crazy drives to the emergency room in pajamas. I would really evaluate what the staff or your father's doctor thinks he should wear against a medical scare and a possible brain injury, in his already precarious position.
posted by dhartung at 11:11 PM on December 25, 2011 [2 favorites]
Your dad, after all, is still your dad, still in many ways the man you remember and clearly love. If he's wearing a funny hat, is that really important?
Coming to terms with these issues can be very difficult. It took me a long time to deal with the fact that my dad wasn't himself anymore, and he was an historian dubbed a "brilliant" mind and respected in the community. To me, your offense at the safety helmet that he has been given is a form of bargaining. If he had a broken leg, would you consider a cast an affront to his dignity?
My dad's falls resulted in huge familial trauma, lost time at work, sleepless nights, and crazy drives to the emergency room in pajamas. I would really evaluate what the staff or your father's doctor thinks he should wear against a medical scare and a possible brain injury, in his already precarious position.
posted by dhartung at 11:11 PM on December 25, 2011 [2 favorites]
A rugby helmet is probably the "softest", lowest profile helmet you'll find, to be honest.
Unfortunately it turns out they appear to be basically worthless.
posted by rodgerd at 11:30 PM on December 25, 2011
Unfortunately it turns out they appear to be basically worthless.
posted by rodgerd at 11:30 PM on December 25, 2011
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posted by Blazecock Pileon at 3:29 AM on December 25, 2011