the headaches of living with my parents

December 19, 2011 8:18 AM

I'm allergic to something at my parents' house and I'll be there for 2 more weeks. Please hope me.

I don't know what I'm allergic to (or even if it's allergies; I know Claritin and aspirin help) and no one else seems to have problems. I get throbbing headaches to the degree that I can't sleep for more than a couple of hours. I'm fatigued when I'm there and my eyes dry out. Things improve after a few hours someplace else.

I don't get to see my folks much so I'd like to spend time with them but for a variety of reasons, it's impractical for them to be out of the house for too long. We're in upstate NY so being outside for too long isn't an option, either. I'm getting bored of the grocery store, coffee shop, drug store, anywhere-but-the-house circuit. How can I make the next two weeks tolerable?

posted by thewestinggame to Health & Fitness (19 answers total)

Can you go to an allergist? Now would be the best time as you're actively having the reaction. You need to find out as best you can what you're allergic to so you can try to avoid/eliminate it.
posted by sweetkid at 8:23 AM on December 19, 2011

Definitely try an antihistamine if you can. You might be allergic to something that is coming out of their heating system. If they have forced air heating, when was the last time they changed the filter?

Also, you might be catching something you are allergic to in your hair and then when you go to sleep, spread it on the pillow where you end up getting it in your eyes and breathing it in all night. Try to wash your hair thoroughly before bed and change the pillow case.
posted by Yellow at 8:27 AM on December 19, 2011

I have this problem when I'm home in Vermont too - I had hayfever growing up but have had a far easier time of it since moving to Boston. Something that grows in suburban NW Vermont does not grow in the city.

Unfortunately, I haven't found a magic bullet, but this has helped: Start taking Claritin before heading home (next time, sorry). DUST! VACUUM! Especially wherever you are going to sleep. So change the sheets too. The biggest improvement for me was when I started staying in the guest room instead of my childhood room - fewer knick knacks = less collected dust/pollen.

The antihistamine is also a very good idea, especially at night, as it will make you sleepy.

Sorry I don't have better advice! I sympathize!
posted by maryr at 8:31 AM on December 19, 2011

Are you sleeping in a room by yourself at your parents' house? It sounds like carbon monoxide or some other air quality issue, but if you're sharing a bedroom it would affect anyone else in the room. Have they recently painted the house? Installed new carpeting? both of those could make you sick and some people are more susceptible than others. Is your bedroom usually unused? Is there any mold growing anywhere in it? This can happen when rooms aren't used much.

Do they use chemical air fresheners or scented candles? Do they use detergent or fabric softener that you don't usually use?

Seconding change the filter, also ask if they've cleaned the ducts.

Getting a serious headache does not sound good at all. Can you call your doctor and ask what she/he thinks about this? This doesn't sound like a normal allergic reaction, I really think you need to talk to a doc.
posted by mareli at 8:33 AM on December 19, 2011

definitely get checked out by an allergist if you can. Even if you can just get to a GP, a perscription for a steroid nosespray might help a lot. I get pounding sinus headaches from allergies, and a steroid nosespray and antihistamine generally prevent them.

If all else fails though, advil cold and sinus (the good stuff that you have to get from behind the pharmacy counter) works wonders for sinus headaches.
posted by inertia at 8:40 AM on December 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

also, you might want to try a sinus rinse too. Drug stores generally have them for around $20 and they can really help with allergies and sinus headaches. Make sure you stay sitting upright for at least an hour afterwards though!
posted by inertia at 8:44 AM on December 19, 2011

Could the humidity levels be aggravating your allergy symptoms too? If they have forced heating the air could be quite dry that makes all my allergy symptoms act up. I'd give the bedroom a good dust and vacuum and wash all the bed linens and try taking an antihistamine at night. If the allergies act up in all rooms it might be something in the heating system and I'd look at maybe changing the filter, maybe spring for a really good one to help trap allergens.
posted by wwax at 8:46 AM on December 19, 2011

I have this problem too. The only real fix is cleaning, and a lot of it — ideally you can get your parents to do some things as prep before you visit (next time), like washing sheets and towels, and vacuuming the room you'll be staying in with a fresh bag/filter/whatever. For this trip, if you dose up on antihistamines and then spend a couple hours cleaning, you'll probably feel a lot better for the rest of the visit.

Also, head out to a cheap big-box store and buy yourself a new pillow.

It may help to say explicitly to your parents that you're not disapproving of their housecleaning, just trying to eliminate allergens that don't affect them the same way as you; people can feel slighted about this, as though your runny nose were an implied insult.
posted by RogerB at 8:47 AM on December 19, 2011 [2 favorites]

I am like this too! I was allergic to my house all throughout my childhood and my parents never believed me (did they think it was normal to constantly cough, sneeze, and be congested, for years on end?? also, they were too cheap to buy actual tissues so I used up roll after roll of one-play toilet paper! ok, whining over) until I brought my husband home, who weirdly enough is much more allergic than me. Can you bring your own sheets, blankets, and pillow or buy new ones? And if you can stand it, try a variety of different allergy medicines -- it's hard to predict which ones will work best for you. You can try all the cleaning and air purifiers and everything, but ultimately you may find that all you can do is try to limit your exposure. If there is any way you can spend the night somewhere else once in a while, that will help.
posted by chickenmagazine at 9:08 AM on December 19, 2011

Nasalcrom!
posted by bq at 9:20 AM on December 19, 2011

So it's not the locale, it's their house, right? Can you go get some of your regular laundry detergent & wash the sheets & pillowcases? (the ones you sleep on?)

If it's really bad you might want to pick up a whole new pillow or sheets.

I have this problem almost anytime I sleep anywhere other than my own house. Any scented soap, dryer sheets, liquid fabric softener KILL ME.

Once my SIL febreezed the shit out of some pillows & left them in our guest room. I woke up unable to breathe and had a burning rash on my left cheek for weeks. Any chance they used a bunch of smelly chemicals to clean the room you're staying in?

You could also try wiping down surfaces with a weak white vinegar solution to get rid of other smells, dust, smoke, dander, etc.
posted by peep at 9:49 AM on December 19, 2011 [2 favorites]

For your dry eyes, use artificial tears (avoid "get the red out" products).
posted by Carol Anne at 10:18 AM on December 19, 2011

Two doctors have told me it's okay to take Claritin and Zyrtec together. I take one in the morning, and one at night when the first has worn off. These don't do much for me if I'm lying down; I have to walk around for a while.

When I have a sinus headache, it helps to take a decongestant as well, or use a decongestant nose spray.

Also, a new pillow is a very good idea. Even many synthetic-fill pillows are hospitable to dust mites.
posted by wryly at 10:39 AM on December 19, 2011

I also swear by Advil Cold & Sinus if we're talking non-prescription.
posted by jbenben at 10:46 AM on December 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

Does this happen year round or only around this time of year?
If only this time of year do they have a real Christmas tree and/or pine boughs around? Things that you might not have where you live since you're not there over the holidays?

I was mostly fine growing up but would often get sniffly/red/dry eyes around Christmas. Then when I started college I would get terrible allergies when I came home for Christmas. We finally figured out - duh - pine allergy.

Switching to a fake tree and fake boughs made everything better.
posted by bowmaniac at 12:44 PM on December 19, 2011

Can you get some of those anti-allergen filters for the heating system? That has helped out tremendously when I've visited my folks. Otherwise a saline spray should help with the nasal dryness. Make sure you're hydrated. I've also felt that it's helpful to take claritin right before bedtime--helps me sleep better.
posted by zoetrope at 12:52 PM on December 19, 2011

If you're getting throbbing headaches when you sleep, I'd concentrate on the bed. Wash the bedding but skip the detergent unless it's one you know doesn't bother you. Put the pillow in the dryer on the hottest setting for 1/2 hour to 45 minutes to kill dust mites or any mold from damp hair. When your nose is an inch away from the pillow or sheets, even a little dust or mustiness can really cause a reaction.

Getting a hepa filter for the furnace or a hepa room air purifier (you can get by with a cheaper one for just a bedroom, maybe $50) for the bedroom you're sleeping in would probably help. 2nding vacuuming but have someone else do it while you're out and give it some time for the dust to settle back down.

I don't use the saline nose rinse anymore. It's easier for me to cup my hands with warm water from the sink and breath it in slightly. Warm to slightly hot seems to work the best. Mentholated cough drops or Altoids will help with the stuffiness but it gets old fast. If you have a health food shop nearby, Quercitin is a supplement that really helps for my allergies. It's a bioflavonoid that's safe up to 1 gram a day. 500 mg is usually what I take when I wake up, along with a generic Claritin. If my allergies are very bad, I open a capsule and take half before I go to bed. It's the difference between having weird/bad dreams and waking up stuffy with a headache or feeling like a normal person.
posted by stray thoughts at 1:34 PM on December 19, 2011

As far as medication goes, you might try taking Benadryl (diphenhydramine) at night. It is quite a bit stronger than Claritin or Zyrtec, but it tends to make people drowsy as a side effect. It is labeled as lasting 4-6 hours but there might be 12 hour extended release formulas available.
posted by Juffo-Wup at 3:46 PM on December 19, 2011

Instead of just washing bed linens, go to target and buy a dust mite-proof pillow and mattress cover (or order on amazon). Call your doctor, and see if he will phone in a prescription for flonase (steroid nasal spray) and astelin (antahistimine nasal spray). You might try an air filter in your room as well. Or try sleeping in a different room, even if it's the living room sofa. Good luck! I get horrible allergies visiting my folks, and aggressively treating with saline rinse, flonase, and astelin really help.
posted by instamatic at 4:20 PM on December 19, 2011