I can't have vaginal warts if we're both monogamous, right?
October 30, 2011 9:34 AM Subscribe
I can't have vaginal warts if we're both monogamous, right?
My husband and I have been married for 3 years, dating for 4 years before that. It is a monogamous relationship and I have no reason to think he has been with anybody else during this time.
Due to an injury of mine, we have been unable to have sex for the past 3 months. In addition, I've been occasionally taking a prescribed painkiller which has a side effect of constipation.
Because of my poor diet as a teenager, I frequently got constipated and developed hemorrhoids. I eat much better now, but every once in a while if I get constipated, the hemorrhoids will flare up.
So lately I've had some hemorrhoids, probably from the constipation, and possibly because I've been spending a lot of time sitting & lying down. I didn't think much of it.
Yesterday I was feeling well enough that I told DH I was ready to try sex again. So we did. And as he entered me (we're talking vagina, not anus) I could feel him rubbing up against one of the hemorrhoids. I didn't say anything because it wasn't *too* painful and I didn't want to ruin the mood.
But it occurred to me later - hemorrhoids don't appear near the vagina. But I'm not sure what it could be. It can't be warts or an STD, can it? We have been in a faithful monogamous relationship for years, and I hadn't even had sex for 3 months before yesterday.
I know I should probably see my doctor, but I'm just wondering if anyone here can say something to assure me that I did not just give genital warts to my husband.
I don't know what they could be. Looking back over the past couple of weeks, I did get a flu shot at my doctor's office, and I did give blood to the Red Cross. But I assume that everything they do is so sterile that I couldn't have gotten anything from them, right?
So, just looking for some rational words of assurance. I am afraid to say anything to my husband because he might be angry that I didn't say anything at the time when I first felt the pain as he entered.
My husband and I have been married for 3 years, dating for 4 years before that. It is a monogamous relationship and I have no reason to think he has been with anybody else during this time.
Due to an injury of mine, we have been unable to have sex for the past 3 months. In addition, I've been occasionally taking a prescribed painkiller which has a side effect of constipation.
Because of my poor diet as a teenager, I frequently got constipated and developed hemorrhoids. I eat much better now, but every once in a while if I get constipated, the hemorrhoids will flare up.
So lately I've had some hemorrhoids, probably from the constipation, and possibly because I've been spending a lot of time sitting & lying down. I didn't think much of it.
Yesterday I was feeling well enough that I told DH I was ready to try sex again. So we did. And as he entered me (we're talking vagina, not anus) I could feel him rubbing up against one of the hemorrhoids. I didn't say anything because it wasn't *too* painful and I didn't want to ruin the mood.
But it occurred to me later - hemorrhoids don't appear near the vagina. But I'm not sure what it could be. It can't be warts or an STD, can it? We have been in a faithful monogamous relationship for years, and I hadn't even had sex for 3 months before yesterday.
I know I should probably see my doctor, but I'm just wondering if anyone here can say something to assure me that I did not just give genital warts to my husband.
I don't know what they could be. Looking back over the past couple of weeks, I did get a flu shot at my doctor's office, and I did give blood to the Red Cross. But I assume that everything they do is so sterile that I couldn't have gotten anything from them, right?
So, just looking for some rational words of assurance. I am afraid to say anything to my husband because he might be angry that I didn't say anything at the time when I first felt the pain as he entered.
HPV (human papilloma virus) can have a long latency period. You or your husband may have been infected for years without presenting symptoms.
You should go see a doctor. Warts can present around the vulva, as well as inside the vagina.
posted by the man of twists and turns at 9:42 AM on October 30, 2011 [3 favorites]
You should go see a doctor. Warts can present around the vulva, as well as inside the vagina.
posted by the man of twists and turns at 9:42 AM on October 30, 2011 [3 favorites]
I think the right order to do this in is to see the doctor first, and discuss things with your husband second. There's not much point in getting into an emotional discussion about STDs and find out later that it was something totally unrelated. You (and even more so, random people on MeFi) simply don't have enough information to make any kind of useful guess about what it is; you need to go to the clinic asap and have them look at it.
posted by Forktine at 9:44 AM on October 30, 2011 [8 favorites]
posted by Forktine at 9:44 AM on October 30, 2011 [8 favorites]
First things first: "I don't know what they could be. Looking back over the past couple of weeks, I did get a flu shot at my doctor's office, and I did give blood to the Red Cross."
You did not get vaginal warts (if indeed that's what they are) from either of these actions.
Genital warts are caused by human papillomavirus (HPV). Here's a page of basic information about HPV from the CDC. And more information from about.com.
This section seems most pertinent to your question: "HPV can lay dormant for years. Even in long-term monogamous relationships, genital warts or cervical changes can occur without an obvious infectious event. Because of this, in the presence of warts or cervical changes men and women should be screened for HPV even when no recent transmission risk can be identified."
HPV is super common. If either you or your husband had any sexual partners before you were married, it is quite likely that either of you could have gotten HPV at that time.
Were I you, here's what I would do. I'd say "honey, I've noticed some changes on my vulva/vagina (wherever they actually are) that I'm concerned about. I've made an appointment with my gynecologist to find out if anything needs to be done. We need to hold off on sex until after that appointment."
posted by ocherdraco at 9:45 AM on October 30, 2011 [5 favorites]
You did not get vaginal warts (if indeed that's what they are) from either of these actions.
Genital warts are caused by human papillomavirus (HPV). Here's a page of basic information about HPV from the CDC. And more information from about.com.
This section seems most pertinent to your question: "HPV can lay dormant for years. Even in long-term monogamous relationships, genital warts or cervical changes can occur without an obvious infectious event. Because of this, in the presence of warts or cervical changes men and women should be screened for HPV even when no recent transmission risk can be identified."
HPV is super common. If either you or your husband had any sexual partners before you were married, it is quite likely that either of you could have gotten HPV at that time.
Were I you, here's what I would do. I'd say "honey, I've noticed some changes on my vulva/vagina (wherever they actually are) that I'm concerned about. I've made an appointment with my gynecologist to find out if anything needs to be done. We need to hold off on sex until after that appointment."
posted by ocherdraco at 9:45 AM on October 30, 2011 [5 favorites]
Have you taken a mirror and looked at what's actually going on down there? It takes a really big logical leap to get from "experienced pain during sex" to "I must have vaginal warts." You should see a doctor, obviously, as per suggestions above, but there are tons of things that could cause pain during sex.
posted by enlarged to show texture at 9:53 AM on October 30, 2011 [9 favorites]
posted by enlarged to show texture at 9:53 AM on October 30, 2011 [9 favorites]
Thirding that HPV can lie dormant for years and manifest itself in times of stress.
posted by omarlittle at 9:57 AM on October 30, 2011
posted by omarlittle at 9:57 AM on October 30, 2011
Go to the doctor. Your self-diagnosing isn't doing anything but causing you to stress out, and it's leading you down some irrational dead ends (flu shot?). You won't know your next step, or what to say to your husband, until you know what's actually going on.
posted by spaltavian at 9:59 AM on October 30, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by spaltavian at 9:59 AM on October 30, 2011 [2 favorites]
This may sound a little strange, but ... I'd recommend taking a few photos of the bump(s), if they are at all visible. If you make an appointment to see your gynecologist tomorrow, and get a slot within a few weeks, the painful bump may well have disappeared by the time you get in to the doctor's office. So get a mirror, take a look, and then do a little self-photo shoot. (Don't do it on your phone! Use an actual camera if you've got one -- it makes it harder for you to accidentally share pics of your vulva with unsuspecting friends.) Save the photos to take with you to the doctor's office when the time comes.
And yes, definitely make an appointment to see your doctor as soon as possible, but try not to freak out over stuff for the time being. Nothing you can do but get yourself checked out, at least for now.
posted by brina at 10:04 AM on October 30, 2011 [2 favorites]
And yes, definitely make an appointment to see your doctor as soon as possible, but try not to freak out over stuff for the time being. Nothing you can do but get yourself checked out, at least for now.
posted by brina at 10:04 AM on October 30, 2011 [2 favorites]
There are many other things that "something" down there could be that aren't genital warts. Just go see your doctor.
posted by kimdog at 10:04 AM on October 30, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by kimdog at 10:04 AM on October 30, 2011 [1 favorite]
Ok maybe I'm missing something, but can you actually see any warts? Because from reading the question you appear to have jumped from pain during sex to warts and there are about a million other reasons for pain during sex (especially after being injured and not having sex for several months) than genital warts.
posted by whoaali at 10:05 AM on October 30, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by whoaali at 10:05 AM on October 30, 2011 [1 favorite]
brina: "I'd recommend taking a few photos of the bump(s), if they are at all visible."
This is really good advice. If they've gone, but you have pictures, your doctor will be able to help you much more than if you didn't have any.
posted by ocherdraco at 10:08 AM on October 30, 2011 [2 favorites]
This is really good advice. If they've gone, but you have pictures, your doctor will be able to help you much more than if you didn't have any.
posted by ocherdraco at 10:08 AM on October 30, 2011 [2 favorites]
The anus and the entrance to the vagina can be quite close together in some women, and I have no trouble at all imagining pain during intercourse happening due to large hemorrhoids. Since you've had uncomfortable hemorrhoids recently due to constipation and immobility, it seems reasonable to assume they are the cause of your pain during intercourse. Suddenly developing genital warts is far, far less likely a thing than experiencing discomfort from something you already have.
If you're unaccustomed to looking at your vagina/perineum/anus in the mirror and aren't familiar with your anatomy, I wouldn't recommend doing it now as a diagnostic technique. Anxiety can make every little normal variation look like something horrible.
See your gynecologist if you remain concerned.
posted by jesourie at 10:10 AM on October 30, 2011
If you're unaccustomed to looking at your vagina/perineum/anus in the mirror and aren't familiar with your anatomy, I wouldn't recommend doing it now as a diagnostic technique. Anxiety can make every little normal variation look like something horrible.
See your gynecologist if you remain concerned.
posted by jesourie at 10:10 AM on October 30, 2011
There are all kinds of things that can cause lumps and bumps on the vagina or vulva. This could easily be a bartholin gland cyst, for example, which could feel like a hemorrhoid. I am not a doctor, but if you've got other stuff going on in your vaginal/anal region that is causing problems, it would make sense to me that it could trigger other minor issues. Definitely give your doctor a call, and don't freak out too much! (hard, I know.)
I'm also a little concerned that you are scared to tell your husband about this. Can you tell him things aren't feeling quite right or you noticed a change, as someone suggested above? I wouldn't jump right to "I have an STI!!!" because you just don't know what's going on, but can you talk to him at all?
posted by min at 10:19 AM on October 30, 2011 [1 favorite]
I'm also a little concerned that you are scared to tell your husband about this. Can you tell him things aren't feeling quite right or you noticed a change, as someone suggested above? I wouldn't jump right to "I have an STI!!!" because you just don't know what's going on, but can you talk to him at all?
posted by min at 10:19 AM on October 30, 2011 [1 favorite]
Well, in answer to your question, yes, they could be warts. There are also other things that they could be, like skin tags, infected glands, etc. If you are concerned, you need to see a doctor. No one here can reassure you that you didn't give genital warts to your husband - or vice versa, actually. Have you actually taken a look down there? I'm pretty sure that warts and hemorrhoids are not visually similar. (I wouldn't go diagnosing myself just yet, though.)
I too am puzzled by why you think your husband would be angry. All you need to say is that you didn't want to ruin the moment, but things aren't feeling quite right and you'll be going to get it checked out. I really hope it's just your anxiety making you feel nervous and that he's not actually that unsympathetic.
posted by sm1tten at 10:47 AM on October 30, 2011
I too am puzzled by why you think your husband would be angry. All you need to say is that you didn't want to ruin the moment, but things aren't feeling quite right and you'll be going to get it checked out. I really hope it's just your anxiety making you feel nervous and that he's not actually that unsympathetic.
posted by sm1tten at 10:47 AM on October 30, 2011
I could be wrong but I think genital warts appear more like cauliflowery lesions, not a big bump like a hemorrhoid. If you are feeling a bump, I'm guessing it's a cyst.
Take that picture, make a dr's appt, and in the meantime you can look up photos of genital warts online and compare. Don't forget to take the camera to the dr.
posted by fingersandtoes at 10:53 AM on October 30, 2011 [1 favorite]
Take that picture, make a dr's appt, and in the meantime you can look up photos of genital warts online and compare. Don't forget to take the camera to the dr.
posted by fingersandtoes at 10:53 AM on October 30, 2011 [1 favorite]
What? Nothing you describe indicates vaginal warts or.... I can't think of a single STI that would mimic the sensation of a hemorrhoid. Perhaps I'm not understanding your clearly but this sounds much more like a polyp, endo or something else structural. Please see your OB/GYN or nurse practitioner.
posted by DarlingBri at 11:30 AM on October 30, 2011
posted by DarlingBri at 11:30 AM on October 30, 2011
The anus and the entrance to the vagina can be quite close together in some women, and I have no trouble at all imagining pain during intercourse happening due to large hemorrhoids.
Along theses lines, my reading of a sentence on this WebMD information is that vaginal pressure can affect bowel movements. I wouldn't be surprised if sex put pressure on that portion of your digestive tract. (Forgive me for not knowing exactly what might be in close proximity to the vagina--the intestine or the rectum? IANAD.) And therefore it might actually be your hemorrhoids.
posted by Terriniski at 11:38 AM on October 30, 2011
Along theses lines, my reading of a sentence on this WebMD information is that vaginal pressure can affect bowel movements. I wouldn't be surprised if sex put pressure on that portion of your digestive tract. (Forgive me for not knowing exactly what might be in close proximity to the vagina--the intestine or the rectum? IANAD.) And therefore it might actually be your hemorrhoids.
posted by Terriniski at 11:38 AM on October 30, 2011
seconding latent hpv... it happened to me and mr. pony after we'd moved in together.... they've almost cleared though THANK GOD- BUT- one of the scariest things for me was wondering if he'd think I'd cheated and given him an sti... (and scary vice versa thoughts)... in the end we realized that we BOTH had them... he had thought he'd shaved funny. It was VERY crappy at first... but I'm just thankful it happened in a LTR... I'd of hated to explain these little yuckies to potentials.... (also seconding going to the docs)
posted by misspony at 11:53 AM on October 30, 2011
posted by misspony at 11:53 AM on October 30, 2011
As someone with experience with hemorrhoids, let me say that it is quite possible that your pain was due to hemorrhoids, indeed.
posted by KathrynT at 1:03 PM on October 30, 2011
posted by KathrynT at 1:03 PM on October 30, 2011
Along the same lines as Terriniski's suggestion, you may also want to investigate rectoceles, cystoceles and/or enteroceles.
posted by VioletU at 9:35 AM on November 1, 2011
posted by VioletU at 9:35 AM on November 1, 2011
« Older Is it crazy to have a car in San Francisco? | How friendly is too friendly with an attached man? Newer »
This thread is closed to new comments.
No, you couldn't have gotten anything from a flu shot or from getting blood.
You just need to see a doctor so you can see what's going on.
As far as warts go, I'm pretty sure you could have a latent HPV infection, which is pretty common and could cause warts at a later date. Don't quote me on that.
I feel a little scared about you being scared to tell your husband about this...you didn't do anything wrong. Either of you could have been carrying HPV for a long time from any previous relationship. That's if it is warts, which you don't know.
posted by sully75 at 9:38 AM on October 30, 2011 [4 favorites]