I want a dog!

October 9, 2011 2:07 PM

Help me come to terms with never getting a dog.

I grew up with dogs, and still visit my dog at my parents house. I've always planned to get a dog once I moved into a house with a garden, 2012 was when this was likely to happen. My boyfriend and I have been together for just under a year, and living together for 2 months now. He is allergic to cats and dogs and really dislikes them anyway.

I am really sad at the thought of never having a dog, I really value the loyalty and companionship that they provide. That being said, this isn't a dealbreaker for me in this relationship.

I've looked into volunteering at an animal rescue centre, but I don't drive and they all seem to be in quite rural locations away from public transport. Any ideas for coming to terms with this, or suggestions of things I can do?

posted by ellieBOA to Pets & Animals (21 answers total)

Best answer: Find folks in your neighbourhood who will let you walk their dogs now and then? A FREE dog-walking service is not something they'd likely pass up, since the vast majority of people are too lazy and irresponsible to exercise their dogs regularly anyway.
posted by tumid dahlia at 2:17 PM on October 9, 2011 [4 favorites]

If he's allergic, there are dogs that could still work. Woolly ones, like poodles, and similar.

As for other ways to come to terms with it, what about dog-walking for friends, or even for cash.
posted by lollusc at 2:17 PM on October 9, 2011 [3 favorites]

You could get another pet that he is not allergic to, but that would still provide companionship.

My favorite growing up was one of our canaries. He loved people and when we let him out, would fly around, sit on our shoulders, and peck at our sandwiches.
posted by DoubleLune at 2:20 PM on October 9, 2011

There are some types of dogs that don't shed and are considered "Hypoallergenic". I don't know if you'll get much help here - most dog lovers will have suggestions like mine - ways to get around your boyfriends allergy rather than dealing with a dogless life. Best of luck.
posted by knolan at 2:21 PM on October 9, 2011

Have you thought about alternative pets? Like ferrets? Alternatively, find out if your boyfriend is -really- allergic to pets - a lot of people say that just because they don't particularly like them. Maybe a cute puppy would change his mind ;-p
posted by BigCalm at 2:21 PM on October 9, 2011 [2 favorites]

There are most definitely hypoallergenic dogs! Get one of them!
posted by two lights above the sea at 2:22 PM on October 9, 2011

I was a volunteer at a no-kill shelter for a few years. I walked the dogs, played with them, even recommended a few for adoption. It's a great way to get your canine fix for dogs that can really use the company.
posted by cjets at 2:27 PM on October 9, 2011

Best answer: Guys, ellieBOA also says this about the SO (in the same sentence!)

really dislikes them anyway

So this really is a question where the asker is not getting a dog unless the relationship ends for some other reason.

That said, I support the suggestion to walk other people's dogs. I'm also allergic, but I love dogs. When I'm in a position to have a dog it will have to be a poodle or a greyhound because they're the ones I can breathe with long term.

If there are no people in your neighborhood that need a dog walker/dog sitter, check into volunteering at your local shelter or breed rescue.
posted by bilabial at 2:28 PM on October 9, 2011 [1 favorite]

Sadly, HA dog breeds aren't all they're made out to be.
posted by zamboni at 2:29 PM on October 9, 2011 [2 favorites]

Response by poster: Thanks bilabial, and he is unfortunately definitely allergic to dogs and cats, comes home sneezing and itchy after being around them. He's not really an animal lover at all, to him, all pets are allergy triggers.
posted by ellieBOA at 2:32 PM on October 9, 2011

Best answer: I think you're also making yourself sad by thinking about this in terms of "never" - all kinds of things happen in life, and you don't know what's next. Perhaps next year's big medical discovery will be medication for pet allergies. Or you find yourself with another partner down the line. Or new people move next door with the best dog ever. You can't have a dog right now, and you'd wanted one right now, and that's sad. But all kinds of things happen in life, and perhaps your dog is waiting for you just around some corner you don't know about yet.
posted by judith at 2:55 PM on October 9, 2011 [12 favorites]

Yeah, never say never. Come to terms with not having one NOW. All sorts of stuff could happen in the future, including having a dog.
posted by 3FLryan at 3:00 PM on October 9, 2011 [1 favorite]

I wonder if the suggestions of walking or working at a shelter would work. If your SO has a bad allergies, the animal dander you pick up might affect him as well.
posted by Marky at 3:09 PM on October 9, 2011 [1 favorite]

Nthing judith. I never, ever thought we'd get a dog. I'm much more a cat person, though I love all animals. Dogs just always seemed way too needy for my tastes and I'm allergic to most breeds. I had a dog growing up and I knew how much work went into having one. My kids, however, desperately wanted a dog and they both were accepted into the audition-only orchestras they both spent all summer practicing for, and my daughter convinced me that a dog would be a great "way to go!" present.

I started looking at PetFinder and long story short (with my heart not really in the search at all; we already have three cats who I love dearly), we adopted Emery a week ago. He's a schnoodle (and some other stuff), two years old, housebroken and crate trained, and darned if he isn't the best dog in the universe.

So, yeah. "Never" isn't really a finite thing, you know? All sorts of things could happen. In the meantime, offer to petsit for all your friends' dogs or volunteer at a shelter (but make sure you change clothes as soon as you come home and maybe even take a shower before you snuggle with your guy).
posted by cooker girl at 3:14 PM on October 9, 2011 [1 favorite]

Is he just not a pets kind of guy, or might another kind of pet appeal to him? Rats are affectionate and bursting with personality. Rabbits are.. soft? Some people really like their rabbits anyway. And even if you get smaller pets and he never interacts with them, at least they might not actively bother him, which seems like an ok compromise?
posted by kavasa at 3:29 PM on October 9, 2011 [1 favorite]

Do you have friends or relatives with dogs? Become a dog aunt/uncle. Much like the cool uncle/aunts from when you were a kid, the dog aunt/uncle's job is to buy lots of treats and toys for the dog, take it out to play and run around, get it excited and overstimulated, then drop it off for its "parents" to deal with.
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 7:01 PM on October 9, 2011

I used to get my dog fix here; maybe there's a good dog park near you?
posted by Napoleonic Terrier at 7:52 PM on October 9, 2011

Best answer: Before getting a ferret, rabbit or other pet, please check if he is allergic to them, too. And depending on how bad his allergies are, your volunteering at a shelter or at a dog park might pick up enough dander to set them off.

Believe me, it's no fun at all to have your throat swell shut so you're fighting for breath, while some doglover keeps insisting "if you spend some time with him, you'll LOVE my little Fido!" A lot of allergy-affected people DO like animals, we just can't breathe well with them around us, sorry.
posted by easily confused at 3:16 AM on October 10, 2011

Yeah first step I would try to figure out the extent/severity of his allergies, and whether it extends to all dogs, all animals, etc.
Then I would work on compromising within those boundaries. Rats are like little dogs...you can train them, cuddle them, etc.
In high school my mom said I was allowed NO pets, so when I got a long term boyfriend I promptly went out and got a hamster that would live at his house. Brought it home one weekend while he was away, and my mother fell in LOVE with it. So much that she started taking it to HER boyfriends house on the weekend, where they would feature it in nautical photoshoots and prepare little feasts for it.
So yeah, animals can win people over. As long as the people aren't gasping for breath.
posted by whalebreath at 7:41 AM on October 10, 2011

Rabbits are.. soft? Some people really like their rabbits anyway.

Rabbits are more than soft, rabbits are awesome!! Rabbits can be litter-box trained, and if you get one from a good shelter, they usually litter-box train all of their rabbits before they rehome them. I adopted the most wonderful 6-year-old rabbit a few years back. She ran around my apartment all day and jumped in her cage to go to the bathroom and get at her water bottle. She hopped over to the refrigerator every morning to wait for her breakfast carrot, which she would grab between her teeth and hop behind her chair to munch on. She bonded with my boyfriend's guinea pig and the boy guinea pig licking the girl bunny's gooey eye stuff from her blocked tear duct was seriously the cutest thing I have ever seen in my life. My rabbit got sick and died about nine months after I got her (rabbits are very delicate) and the guinea pig became so depressed that we had to rehome him to a place with a bunny whose bunny friend had recently died. They apparently became BFFs. Anyway if your boyfriend is not allergic to rabbits you should check out your local shelter or the House Rabbit Society. Rabbits are just like tiny little dogs, but without all that walking and poop-scooping nonsense!
posted by jabes at 3:04 PM on October 10, 2011

Things that might help you feel better about not having a dog:

1. Kids. Well, if you guys are planning to have kids eventually, you can take comfort in the fact that most people (the ones I know, anyways) have very little time for their pets after the baby is born. And that I hear many people saying, "my dog/cat was always my baby UNTIL my actual baby was born." And sadly, many families end up giving their dog away or putting their dog in a shelter when a baby comes into the picture. Not that you would ever do this, but it does provide support for the theory that pets take advantage of our nurturing instincts, and that your nurturing instincts will most likely kick in when you have children, if you so choose.

2. Traveling. You guys will have way more freedom traveling without a dog than with one. Right now our plans always have to take into consideration that our dogs are coming with us, or that we will be spending major $$$ on putting them in a kennel. I have no idea what we'll do on the next major vacation we have. We used to do fun getaway weekends every once in a while. We can't do that so much anymore.
posted by The ____ of Justice at 2:30 AM on October 12, 2011