Please help me rid myself of these dark thoughts.
September 5, 2011 2:16 PM Subscribe
Please help me rid myself of these dark thoughts.
So I've been having these proper dark thoughts over the last few months. Due to the nature of them I can't say what they are as I'd be sectioned if I ever did. That being said though, they involve hurting people close to me and I love my friends and family dearly.
The problem is that I can't get them to stay out of my mind. I'm a chilled out person and I can't get these thoughts to stay out of my mind. They don't occur very often, but I really hate them as they're horrible thoughts. I would never do anything they resemble. I've tried the usual, e.g. concentrating on an object or something when they come into my mind but I just can't shake them.
Would there be some kind of psychologist of hypnotherapy I could go to/try perhaps? (I live in the south of the UK)
So I've been having these proper dark thoughts over the last few months. Due to the nature of them I can't say what they are as I'd be sectioned if I ever did. That being said though, they involve hurting people close to me and I love my friends and family dearly.
The problem is that I can't get them to stay out of my mind. I'm a chilled out person and I can't get these thoughts to stay out of my mind. They don't occur very often, but I really hate them as they're horrible thoughts. I would never do anything they resemble. I've tried the usual, e.g. concentrating on an object or something when they come into my mind but I just can't shake them.
Would there be some kind of psychologist of hypnotherapy I could go to/try perhaps? (I live in the south of the UK)
IANAP but that sounds a lot like OCD. I really doubt you'd be sectioned just for having thoughts. We actually don't have thought police in the UK.
Start with your GP and if you can't wait for them to get their finger out, look for OCD support groups. They will know where you can get treatment privately.
Good luck.
posted by tel3path at 2:19 PM on September 5, 2011
Start with your GP and if you can't wait for them to get their finger out, look for OCD support groups. They will know where you can get treatment privately.
Good luck.
posted by tel3path at 2:19 PM on September 5, 2011
Sorry, that sounded really flippant. I meant to be reassuring, not to make light of your troubles, sockpim.
posted by tel3path at 2:20 PM on September 5, 2011
posted by tel3path at 2:20 PM on September 5, 2011
Response by poster: What does 'IANAP' mean?
How would I tell my GP something like that without sounds like I'm nuts?
posted by sockpim at 2:26 PM on September 5, 2011
How would I tell my GP something like that without sounds like I'm nuts?
posted by sockpim at 2:26 PM on September 5, 2011
IANAP = I am not a psychiatrist/psychologist.
I'd agreew ith tel3path, it does sound like OCD, but with obsessions rather than compulsions. Tell your GP, they won't think you're nuts and have been trained to deal with even the most shocking of tales.
Remember, it's really important to keep in mind that you wouldn't actually act on your thoughts, and that's the crucial part.
posted by Scottie_Bob at 2:30 PM on September 5, 2011
I'd agreew ith tel3path, it does sound like OCD, but with obsessions rather than compulsions. Tell your GP, they won't think you're nuts and have been trained to deal with even the most shocking of tales.
Remember, it's really important to keep in mind that you wouldn't actually act on your thoughts, and that's the crucial part.
posted by Scottie_Bob at 2:30 PM on September 5, 2011
Intrusive negative thoughts are a symptom of many things. I used to get them when I was a teenager, but they went away in my 20s. If you make it clear to a GP that you have no possibility on acting on these thoughts, but want to learn how to make them go away, they ought to make you a referral to a psychologist. Your problem then is the very long waiting times on the NHS, which means you should consider going private if possible.
posted by singingfish at 2:34 PM on September 5, 2011
posted by singingfish at 2:34 PM on September 5, 2011
Your physician should have some understanding of emotional problems. You don't have to give her or him the details, it should be enough to say that you're having emotional turmoil or obsessive thoughts and would like a referral to a psychologist as soon as possible.
Has anything dramatically changed recently in your life? Have you started taking any kind of medication recently? Have you been through a traumatic event? Any of these things can impact your thinking.
I hope you find some help son, this must be miserable for you. Good luck.
posted by mareli at 2:35 PM on September 5, 2011
Has anything dramatically changed recently in your life? Have you started taking any kind of medication recently? Have you been through a traumatic event? Any of these things can impact your thinking.
I hope you find some help son, this must be miserable for you. Good luck.
posted by mareli at 2:35 PM on September 5, 2011
Why are you worried about sounding like you're nuts? You're seeking diagnosis and treatment for a mental health issue. Crudely put, the goal is to sound like you're "nuts", or, more accurately, experiencing symptoms of a diagnosable mental disorder for which the GP can recommend treatment.
posted by tel3path at 2:36 PM on September 5, 2011
posted by tel3path at 2:36 PM on September 5, 2011
Best answer: I have not read it myself, but The Imp of the Mind: Exploring the Silent Epidemic of Obsessive Bad Thoughts is reasonably well-reviewed and may be useful.
posted by kmennie at 2:43 PM on September 5, 2011
posted by kmennie at 2:43 PM on September 5, 2011
As much as CBT is the new hotness, I think that plain talking therapy with a good psychologist shouldn't be ruled out. With some thoughts and feelings, if you just will them away or pave over them, they fester and pop up somewhere else. It's possible that they are an expression of something deeper that needs to be addressed.
Or it's possible that they aren't! Which is why you should get more than one opinion, from people who are not strangers on the Internet.
posted by hermitosis at 2:48 PM on September 5, 2011 [1 favorite]
Or it's possible that they aren't! Which is why you should get more than one opinion, from people who are not strangers on the Internet.
posted by hermitosis at 2:48 PM on September 5, 2011 [1 favorite]
These are called intrusive thoughts. They're a common symptom of OCD. Lots of people get them and they DO NOT mean you're a horrible person or that you "want" to do those things. And yeah, they're scary.
Find a therapist who specializes in OCD or anxiety disorders. Practicing mindfulness meditation can help, too.
I've gotten intrusive thoughts during periods of high stress. Instead of trying to avoid thinking about them, it helps me to remember that they're just thoughts entering my brain and I don't actually have to believe or obey them. The "cool story, bro" approach, I've come to think of it.
Just reading up on OCD, intrusive thoughts, and anxiety may help you - at least, you'll know you're not alone or broken - but that's no substitute for seeing a professional. Good luck!
posted by Metroid Baby at 2:55 PM on September 5, 2011 [1 favorite]
Find a therapist who specializes in OCD or anxiety disorders. Practicing mindfulness meditation can help, too.
I've gotten intrusive thoughts during periods of high stress. Instead of trying to avoid thinking about them, it helps me to remember that they're just thoughts entering my brain and I don't actually have to believe or obey them. The "cool story, bro" approach, I've come to think of it.
Just reading up on OCD, intrusive thoughts, and anxiety may help you - at least, you'll know you're not alone or broken - but that's no substitute for seeing a professional. Good luck!
posted by Metroid Baby at 2:55 PM on September 5, 2011 [1 favorite]
Claire Weekes is your go-to for intrusive thoughts. (The titles of her books do not really reflect what they are about, but it is exactly this kind of problem that she discusses.)
posted by Wordwoman at 3:06 PM on September 5, 2011
posted by Wordwoman at 3:06 PM on September 5, 2011
If you're afraid you're going to get committed against your will, don't be. Tell your doctor that you are having some difficult thoughts that you'd like to discuss with a psychologist. The doctor will ask you if you are in danger of harming yourself or others--this is a responsible question. You may truthfully say no but that your thoughts are distressing and you want to get a handle on them.
Depending on your insurance situation, you may not have to go through your regular doctor--you may be able to "self refer"--just call up the psychologist and make an appointment.
The only caution I would offer is this: I would avoid having your GP prescribe an SSRI as a first resort. If your psychologist thinks you need one, see if you can get a referral to a psychiatrist before falling back on your GP. This is one of those situations where you want your prescribing physician to have some expertise in psychopharmacology--sometimes there is some trial and error in finding the right drug and the right dose, and a psychiatrist's expertise can save you some time and discomfort by narrowing down the field more quickly. That said, if for whatever reason a psychiatrist is not available and your GP is your only option, he or she will be qualified to help, so don't give up.
posted by thinkingwoman at 3:09 PM on September 5, 2011
Depending on your insurance situation, you may not have to go through your regular doctor--you may be able to "self refer"--just call up the psychologist and make an appointment.
The only caution I would offer is this: I would avoid having your GP prescribe an SSRI as a first resort. If your psychologist thinks you need one, see if you can get a referral to a psychiatrist before falling back on your GP. This is one of those situations where you want your prescribing physician to have some expertise in psychopharmacology--sometimes there is some trial and error in finding the right drug and the right dose, and a psychiatrist's expertise can save you some time and discomfort by narrowing down the field more quickly. That said, if for whatever reason a psychiatrist is not available and your GP is your only option, he or she will be qualified to help, so don't give up.
posted by thinkingwoman at 3:09 PM on September 5, 2011
How would I tell my GP something like that without sounds like I'm nuts?
How do you get your GP to fix your broken arm without letting on that your arm is broken?
The thing is, you are nuts. (I wouldn't have chosen that word myself, but since it's out there...) Yes, when you talk to your doctor, you will sound nuts. Then the doctor will help you to not be nuts.
Nothing bad will happen. Something good just might.
posted by Sys Rq at 3:34 PM on September 5, 2011 [1 favorite]
How do you get your GP to fix your broken arm without letting on that your arm is broken?
The thing is, you are nuts. (I wouldn't have chosen that word myself, but since it's out there...) Yes, when you talk to your doctor, you will sound nuts. Then the doctor will help you to not be nuts.
Nothing bad will happen. Something good just might.
posted by Sys Rq at 3:34 PM on September 5, 2011 [1 favorite]
I've tried the usual, e.g. concentrating on an object or something when they come into my mind but I just can't shake them.
There's some good advice here but mostly I wanted to say that trying to concentrate on something else is actually likely to make those thoughts harder to avoid ("try not to think of a white bear"). One thing you might try instead is to just notice when the thoughts arise and label them, without castigating yourself for how dark or forbidden they are. This is a technique that has a lot in common with mindfulness meditation, as others pointed out. You should still see a professional if you can, of course, but this might help in the meantime as you get all of that sorted out.
posted by en forme de poire at 3:35 PM on September 5, 2011
There's some good advice here but mostly I wanted to say that trying to concentrate on something else is actually likely to make those thoughts harder to avoid ("try not to think of a white bear"). One thing you might try instead is to just notice when the thoughts arise and label them, without castigating yourself for how dark or forbidden they are. This is a technique that has a lot in common with mindfulness meditation, as others pointed out. You should still see a professional if you can, of course, but this might help in the meantime as you get all of that sorted out.
posted by en forme de poire at 3:35 PM on September 5, 2011
Best answer: How would I tell my GP something like that without sounds like I'm nuts?
I would try a script like so (I love scripts):
Dr. Cumberbatch, lately I've noticed that some thoughts seem to come into my head and get stuck there, like a record on repeat. They really freak me out, because they are often about violent things that I would never actually do! I've tried doing things like thinking about something else or doing an activity to distract myself, but that doesn't seem to help. I would really like to stop these thoughts! I've read that sometimes these thoughts are called "intrusive thoughts" and they might be a symptom of a psychological problem that can be helped by medicine or talking to a counselor. Does it sound like it might be "intrusive thoughts"? Is there something else it might be? What can we do to treat this?
These thoughts FEEL really scary because you are having them, but I PROMISE, this is very common and very treatable, and your doctor will be familiar with them. You'll be okay, okay?
posted by Snarl Furillo at 3:53 PM on September 5, 2011 [1 favorite]
I would try a script like so (I love scripts):
Dr. Cumberbatch, lately I've noticed that some thoughts seem to come into my head and get stuck there, like a record on repeat. They really freak me out, because they are often about violent things that I would never actually do! I've tried doing things like thinking about something else or doing an activity to distract myself, but that doesn't seem to help. I would really like to stop these thoughts! I've read that sometimes these thoughts are called "intrusive thoughts" and they might be a symptom of a psychological problem that can be helped by medicine or talking to a counselor. Does it sound like it might be "intrusive thoughts"? Is there something else it might be? What can we do to treat this?
These thoughts FEEL really scary because you are having them, but I PROMISE, this is very common and very treatable, and your doctor will be familiar with them. You'll be okay, okay?
posted by Snarl Furillo at 3:53 PM on September 5, 2011 [1 favorite]
If you go to your GP he will be able to recommend CBT on the NHS, how easily the GP will go for this and how long you have to wait will depend on your local trust, but worth going. It's not going to mark you as a nutter for life, its just going to offer some options that will help you to deal with a problem you're having which is worrying you. If you really feel you need it and if you really push once you have the CBT counselling in place then you may be able to get some talk therapy on the NHS, but you will not be able to get many sessions, and therapy availability is likely to be on the cuts hit list. It would be a good idea to go after this option sooner rather than later.
posted by biffa at 4:07 PM on September 5, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by biffa at 4:07 PM on September 5, 2011 [1 favorite]
Cognitive Behavioral Therepy is designed for dealing with intrusive thoughts.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 4:19 PM on September 5, 2011
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 4:19 PM on September 5, 2011
As an interim measure while you're figuring out therapy etc, try this - when one of those thoughts pops into your mind, don't try to suppress it, but add a mental comment like "It's too bad there are people out there who might do things like that, thank goodness I am not one of them." Reclaim some control over the script.
posted by fingersandtoes at 5:45 PM on September 5, 2011
posted by fingersandtoes at 5:45 PM on September 5, 2011
FWIW, this is not something unique to you or incredibly uncommon. I don't know whether a GP would be my first choice to go to, but I'd think that any psychiatrist or psychologist wouldn't even blush at what you told them, no matter how bad you think it is.
posted by empath at 7:25 PM on September 5, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by empath at 7:25 PM on September 5, 2011 [2 favorites]
Best answer: Seldom do I jump into an AskMe this many hours after the OP. However, I think it's important to mention here that you be as honest as possible with a psychologist. It's easy to just chalk this up to OCD and intrusive thoughts. CBT is certainly an excellent choice. However, it sounds (from what you didn't want to write about) that you also have a form of intrusive thoughts known as 'inappropriate thought'. I'm not being picky and pedantic here as it's a very important distinction. I cannot express to you how important it is that you forget your fears over labeling and be completely honest with your health care provider.
Without going into great detail, the importance of the honesty has much to do with a proper diagnosis. Intrusive thinking, when accompanied with the inappropriate thoughts, could easily be two very separate and distinct problems. One being the troublesome thoughts and the intrusiveness merely being the means of delivery, if you will. In other words, you may have a history of intrusive thoughts, but the morbid and frightening thoughts may be arising from something else completely. Or, maybe not. But, if it has you so upset as to fear saying how bad these thoughts are - it's a clue that the underlying inappropriate thoughts are possibly from something distinct and separate from the intrusiveness of those thoughts.
Hopefully, you can get feedback from more than one provider - especially if the first person you see wants to put you on psychopharmaceuticals. Well meaning doctors often give patients drugs that actually intensify the problem. However, I also recently read of ADD medication given in small doses for this very problem. The thinking being that the "anxiety" and "aggressiveness" of intrusive thoughts can possibly be tamed and slowed down using the same mechanism that ADD drugs use to tame the lack of focus and aggressiveness in that disorder.
All of the above is really to stress upon you the importance of telling all to your therapist - and please don't hold back. And the very best of luck to you, sockpim.
posted by Gerard Sorme at 10:45 PM on September 5, 2011 [3 favorites]
Without going into great detail, the importance of the honesty has much to do with a proper diagnosis. Intrusive thinking, when accompanied with the inappropriate thoughts, could easily be two very separate and distinct problems. One being the troublesome thoughts and the intrusiveness merely being the means of delivery, if you will. In other words, you may have a history of intrusive thoughts, but the morbid and frightening thoughts may be arising from something else completely. Or, maybe not. But, if it has you so upset as to fear saying how bad these thoughts are - it's a clue that the underlying inappropriate thoughts are possibly from something distinct and separate from the intrusiveness of those thoughts.
Hopefully, you can get feedback from more than one provider - especially if the first person you see wants to put you on psychopharmaceuticals. Well meaning doctors often give patients drugs that actually intensify the problem. However, I also recently read of ADD medication given in small doses for this very problem. The thinking being that the "anxiety" and "aggressiveness" of intrusive thoughts can possibly be tamed and slowed down using the same mechanism that ADD drugs use to tame the lack of focus and aggressiveness in that disorder.
All of the above is really to stress upon you the importance of telling all to your therapist - and please don't hold back. And the very best of luck to you, sockpim.
posted by Gerard Sorme at 10:45 PM on September 5, 2011 [3 favorites]
Response by poster: Thanks for all of your help on the topic. I will pursue the various pieces of advice given.
Thanks again (muchly).
posted by sockpim at 12:10 PM on September 6, 2011
Thanks again (muchly).
posted by sockpim at 12:10 PM on September 6, 2011
This book looks like it might help! IANAP, but I agree that this sounds like OCD, and that it is common and highly treatable. Basically, the idea is that the more you try to push away your thoughts, the stronger they'll come back. You have to learn to accept them (which is not the same thing as liking them or welcoming them) and then they'll go away naturally. I think you can get a preview of this book on Google Books for a good head start.
posted by caoimhe at 3:17 AM on September 9, 2011
posted by caoimhe at 3:17 AM on September 9, 2011
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by Scottie_Bob at 2:18 PM on September 5, 2011 [1 favorite]