I am depressed and need some help, but don't tell my clients.
August 24, 2011 6:30 PM Subscribe
Having a depressive episode. It's affecting my work. I am seeking professional help. How do I handle my own lack of productivity and responsiveness at work? Complication: I am a lawyer in a solo practice (just me, no secretary, no paralegal, no nothing).
It's just me and the clients. I don't have a manager who I can speak with and say, "hey, I'm going through a bad time right now."
I have to tell people something -- I've been fairly unresponsive to non-urgent matters lately and clients / other people are starting to notice and ask if everything's all right. It's a new-ish practice (about 1 year) and I'm thinking of getting out of law altogether, but not sure yet and don't know what to tell people about my future plans.
I'm not ashamed of depression -- it's an illness like anything else -- but I feel like my clients might worry about my ability to handle their cases if I disclose my ongoing mental health crisis -- and it is a crisis.
It's just me and the clients. I don't have a manager who I can speak with and say, "hey, I'm going through a bad time right now."
I have to tell people something -- I've been fairly unresponsive to non-urgent matters lately and clients / other people are starting to notice and ask if everything's all right. It's a new-ish practice (about 1 year) and I'm thinking of getting out of law altogether, but not sure yet and don't know what to tell people about my future plans.
I'm not ashamed of depression -- it's an illness like anything else -- but I feel like my clients might worry about my ability to handle their cases if I disclose my ongoing mental health crisis -- and it is a crisis.
Also, OP, I hope you feel better soon. Sorry you are experiencing a difficult time.
posted by pupstocks at 6:34 PM on August 24, 2011
posted by pupstocks at 6:34 PM on August 24, 2011
I have been where you are. I developed depression and major anxiety issues while I was a solo, and it's likely one of the reasons I didn't succeed at it.
Please feel free to MeMail me if you need someone to talk to or just vent to.
posted by reenum at 6:36 PM on August 24, 2011
Please feel free to MeMail me if you need someone to talk to or just vent to.
posted by reenum at 6:36 PM on August 24, 2011
AA mental health crisis is first and foremost a health crisis. That's what, if you need to let clients know you'll be offline, you should tell them. You're going through a health issue, and will be able to handle their work in x, y, or z way (delay, pass off to another lawyer, or some other solution).
I hope you can find a good way through this. Depression is so hard.
posted by xingcat at 6:40 PM on August 24, 2011
I hope you can find a good way through this. Depression is so hard.
posted by xingcat at 6:40 PM on August 24, 2011
I agree you should explain it as a private health issue, but you need somebody to cover your non-urgent requests because when you sign business as a solo practitioner, you are making a promise to clients that you will take care of them. I know you have not been doing this for awhile so you probably don't make a whole lot, but you should really try to get an assistant (got any family at loose ends in the area?) for a few hours a week to handle non-urgent follow-ups or trade favors with another lawyer if that sort of thing is allowed.
posted by michaelh at 6:40 PM on August 24, 2011
posted by michaelh at 6:40 PM on August 24, 2011
I'm a lawyer in my own small practice, so I understand the pressure you're under. Here are some suggestions off the top of my head:
(1) Proactively contact the lawyer's disciplinary body and let them know of your situation and ask if they can help. There may be local attorneys who volunteer to help with the practices of attorneys under some sort of disability.
(2) Go ahead and write a general letter to all your clients telling them you have a health issue and may be harder to reach. Perhaps give them an email address. This is not just for them, but also to protect yourself/cya if there are any complaints. Maybe give them an email address, and let them know you'll be happy to turn their file over if they want to seek other counsel.
(3) Turn to other attorneys. Where I practice, solos are very helpful to each other, even ones they don't know well.
(4) Maybe write letters to judges on cases you have, letting them know you are dealing with a health problem.
(5) Look into whether your state has a "disability inactive" status for lawyers. If they do, and you find yourself just too overwhelmed to continue your practice, consider requesting that status and giving up your cases. This would be infinitely preferable to neglecting cases, piling up bar complaints, possibly facing suspension or worse.
The more proactive you are in seeking help from your colleagues and the professional discipline body, the better things will be when you get through this.
Don't assume that because you're a solo, there's nobody out there to help you.
posted by jayder at 6:49 PM on August 24, 2011 [14 favorites]
(1) Proactively contact the lawyer's disciplinary body and let them know of your situation and ask if they can help. There may be local attorneys who volunteer to help with the practices of attorneys under some sort of disability.
(2) Go ahead and write a general letter to all your clients telling them you have a health issue and may be harder to reach. Perhaps give them an email address. This is not just for them, but also to protect yourself/cya if there are any complaints. Maybe give them an email address, and let them know you'll be happy to turn their file over if they want to seek other counsel.
(3) Turn to other attorneys. Where I practice, solos are very helpful to each other, even ones they don't know well.
(4) Maybe write letters to judges on cases you have, letting them know you are dealing with a health problem.
(5) Look into whether your state has a "disability inactive" status for lawyers. If they do, and you find yourself just too overwhelmed to continue your practice, consider requesting that status and giving up your cases. This would be infinitely preferable to neglecting cases, piling up bar complaints, possibly facing suspension or worse.
The more proactive you are in seeking help from your colleagues and the professional discipline body, the better things will be when you get through this.
Don't assume that because you're a solo, there's nobody out there to help you.
posted by jayder at 6:49 PM on August 24, 2011 [14 favorites]
Oh, and feel free to MeFi mail me if you just want to communicate with another lawyer. I will help however I can.
posted by jayder at 6:54 PM on August 24, 2011
posted by jayder at 6:54 PM on August 24, 2011
Does your state have a Lawyer's Assistance Program? Your state bar is probably where to find out. Here's my state's.
A LAP can confidentally assist you with these problems, INCLUDING finding other attorneys to help with your case load temporarily or attorneys you can give cases to. They can also usually get judges to give extensions or even forgive blown deadlines. It does not affect your disciplinary standing. They also have mentorship programs available that might help you make the bigger decision about staying in practice, and they have resources to help direct you to counseling.
A few friends of mine have used them and they are FANTASTIC. Find the one for your state and call or e-mail tomorrow.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 7:14 PM on August 24, 2011 [5 favorites]
A LAP can confidentally assist you with these problems, INCLUDING finding other attorneys to help with your case load temporarily or attorneys you can give cases to. They can also usually get judges to give extensions or even forgive blown deadlines. It does not affect your disciplinary standing. They also have mentorship programs available that might help you make the bigger decision about staying in practice, and they have resources to help direct you to counseling.
A few friends of mine have used them and they are FANTASTIC. Find the one for your state and call or e-mail tomorrow.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 7:14 PM on August 24, 2011 [5 favorites]
You might also be able to hire a temp paralegal to triage the client requests and route only urgent matters to you as needed, which will allow you more time for treatment and an additional pair of hands to get the work done.
posted by judith at 10:28 PM on August 24, 2011
posted by judith at 10:28 PM on August 24, 2011
First, get help somehow. Second, if I'm getting stuck in a rut, I work somewhere where a lot of people are to ger me going--a coffee shop usually does nicely.
Third, procrastination is about avoiding a negative voice you don't want to face by engaging the work. Learn to deal with that voice. I suggest cognitive therapy. I do exercises where I tell myself that I don't have to believe what that voice says and I can acknowledge the negative thoughts without accepting them as true.
posted by Ironmouth at 10:34 PM on August 24, 2011 [1 favorite]
Third, procrastination is about avoiding a negative voice you don't want to face by engaging the work. Learn to deal with that voice. I suggest cognitive therapy. I do exercises where I tell myself that I don't have to believe what that voice says and I can acknowledge the negative thoughts without accepting them as true.
posted by Ironmouth at 10:34 PM on August 24, 2011 [1 favorite]
MeMail me if you want to discuss further. Small practice life can be hard.
posted by Ironmouth at 10:36 PM on August 24, 2011
posted by Ironmouth at 10:36 PM on August 24, 2011
I second the lawyer assistance program. I dont' know what state you're in. Oregon's program is quite good, and they're always sending out newsletters with resources available, etc. Even if you're not in Oregon, I'm betting that they could refer you to whatever resources your state bar has. Here's the link to their mental health subsite: here.
posted by Happydaz at 10:38 PM on August 24, 2011
posted by Happydaz at 10:38 PM on August 24, 2011
Again with the Lawyer's Assistance Program. Again, Memail me. If you're in my state, I'll pull out the stops to help anyway I can.
posted by motsque at 3:46 AM on August 25, 2011
posted by motsque at 3:46 AM on August 25, 2011
I think the suggestions from Team Lawyer here are fabulous. I am not a lawyer but I guess I'm sort of in a variety of solo practice - I work from home as a freelancer. In a similar position, having someone come in 2 hours a day 3 days a week JUST to answer email, clear phone messages and return calls made the biggest difference to my mental health. It stopped my feeling of continual failure to deal, while at the same time shielding me from, you know, having to deal. That gave me enough relief to be able to get on with the actual work.
A paralegal with great people skills would obviously be ideal but basically you just need someone really can-do, who can write well and has a nice phone manner. The financial threshold for that is low. I was honest with my helper about what was going on and why I needed help, and she was FUCKING FABULOUS.
posted by DarlingBri at 7:23 AM on August 25, 2011
A paralegal with great people skills would obviously be ideal but basically you just need someone really can-do, who can write well and has a nice phone manner. The financial threshold for that is low. I was honest with my helper about what was going on and why I needed help, and she was FUCKING FABULOUS.
posted by DarlingBri at 7:23 AM on August 25, 2011
Check out Lawyerswithdepression.com. I find it a bit too self-helpy but there are some good resources and articles.
Every solo should have a backup arrangement with another solo so that you can hand off clients when necessary. Your medical condition is nobody's business but your own. Call it health leave, sabbatical, whatever. You're unavailable and you are putting the client in contact with someone who you trust and who is available. You can avoid spiraling financial and reputational damage by lining this up asap.
And add me to the chorus of those you can me-mail.
posted by moammargaret at 2:15 PM on August 25, 2011
Every solo should have a backup arrangement with another solo so that you can hand off clients when necessary. Your medical condition is nobody's business but your own. Call it health leave, sabbatical, whatever. You're unavailable and you are putting the client in contact with someone who you trust and who is available. You can avoid spiraling financial and reputational damage by lining this up asap.
And add me to the chorus of those you can me-mail.
posted by moammargaret at 2:15 PM on August 25, 2011
« Older The Mother of All Whole Oat Groats Questions | Home/mortgage shopping: Any recommendations ofr... Newer »
This thread is closed to new comments.
Or you could say I have some personal stuff/business/situations I have to attend to at the moment, but I'll be back on your legal issue/whatever thing client wants you to do as soon as I can.
posted by pupstocks at 6:33 PM on August 24, 2011 [1 favorite]