The origin of sweet sixteen

May 31, 2005 12:42 PM

A friend of mine in Finland just saw this MTV show about Sweet Sixteen parties (I haven't seen the show) and is now curious about how this aspect of American culture. Does anyone know when, why, or how this tradition started? For me, sweet sixteen was not an important event at all. What were your experiences with sweet sixteen parties/events/issues?

So far, I've told him that I think the deal with "sweet sixteen" is that it's more of a concept than an event, an idea that describes a supposedly exciting and romantic time in a young girl's life. I told him to watch Sixteen Candles. I also thought it might have something to do with debutante or cotillion stuff, with which I am largely unfamiliar. Any other thoughts?

posted by Crushinator to Society & Culture (17 answers total)

I don't think sweet 16 parties are very common in the US at all. To the point that I have never once, in my entire life, discussed them or heard anyone discuss them other then on TV or in the Movies.
posted by delmoi at 12:57 PM on May 31, 2005

I grew up on Long Island (NY) and almost everyone (female) I knew had one when I was in high school (late 1980s). None of them were quite as elaborate/ridiculous as the ones on the MTV show, but a few girls rented out nightclubs for them or had them in hotel ballrooms, sort of like wedding receptions. I had mine in my backyard; there was a tent and it was catered. We snuck beer in and kept it in a cooler in the treehouse. It was attended by school friends, neighbors, relatives, and friends of my parents.

Not sure about the origin or meaning, though.
posted by superkim at 1:17 PM on May 31, 2005

Most of my friends had a party at 16, but not to the extent of the parties on that show. I'm not sure of the origin, but maybe it has something to do with the driving age in most states being around 16? A lot of kids get cars for their 16th birthday (I wasn't one of them), so I guess a big party goes along wtih that.
posted by geeky at 1:52 PM on May 31, 2005

I wonder if sweet sixteens are a regional phenomenon (northeast?). I'm in the southern US but have only heard them mentioned on TV. I don't remember anyone I know having one.
posted by Carbolic at 2:11 PM on May 31, 2005

Throwing out a guess as to it's origin:
A hold-over from being "presented" to society. Mostly done by the mucky-mucks at balls and such. 16 would be about the right age for that - ready to get married, etc. It was hoped the daughter would marry within a year or two of being presented.

Hispanics (at least Mexicans) have a similar tradition - Quincenaras.
posted by deborah at 2:15 PM on May 31, 2005

that show makes me pity the rich.
posted by fishfucker at 2:15 PM on May 31, 2005

My mom bemoaned the fact that she couldn't throw me a Sweet 16 as if she was a failure as a human being. I hadn't even thought about it, except out of some weird cultural jealousy of Quinceneras(sp?) when my Latina friends turned 15.

I would bet it's related to debutante ball events (which I was surprised still existed and that all my more monied college roommates attended) which were signals to society that the girls were ready to be sold off, er, I mean married off back in the day.

(Instead, I got a barely functional Buick Skyhawk that I couldn't drive and got drunk on Boone's Strawberry Hill with two friends in my backyard.)
posted by Gucky at 2:16 PM on May 31, 2005

Never heard of a "sweet sixteen party" before. Maybe it's an Americanized quinceanera? I've always heard "sweet sixteen" as a reference to the song lyric "sweet sixteen and never been kissed", which so far as I can tell dates back to 1931.
posted by Mars Saxman at 2:19 PM on May 31, 2005

The origins of a Sweet Sixteen are definitely in the debutante ball.

With its origins in a French word (debuter: to begin) and English tradition, the debut has captured the fancy of modern-day America, even managing to survive cynicism, feminism and the evolution of the contemporary teenager.

The days are long gone when young women of 17th-century England were introduced to the royal court by making a formal bow to the reigning monarch. But the debut still marks the transformation from girl to woman, from student to member of society.

Like its sister coming-of-age rituals - the quinceanera in Hispanic tradition and the bat mitzvah in Jewish religious observance - the debut is also a chance for society to share its pride in its young ladies of late-high school and early-college age, and its pleasure at having them enter into community service. (via)

I think that having a Sweet Sixteen party was popular in the American '40s and '50s, but not so much anymore.
posted by Specklet at 2:30 PM on May 31, 2005

It's my understanding that they're the more modern version of the debutante ball. And just like the debutante ball, the only people that take part in them are either old-school or upper class (if those two things are different...) From what I was told by a friend that grew up in Kentucky, debutante balls are quite popular still; however that might have just been within her friend group. I don't remember any of my friends having a "sweet sixteen" party, but I was a dork and might just not have been invited.
posted by pwb503 at 2:37 PM on May 31, 2005

Most people that I knew in high school [of both genders] were more excited about being able to get their driver's licenses [and if they were rich, cars] than anything else. Sixteenth birthdays were often a bigger deal than other birthdays for that reason, but I don't really remember any girls having 'sweet sixteen' birthday parties, as such. This was in a school full of rich kids [and a few of us scholarship kids] in the midwest. Perhaps it's something to do with both class and region...
posted by ubersturm at 2:48 PM on May 31, 2005

Gotta be regional. Happened a lot in Connecticut, did not happen at all in Oregon as far as I could tell. ... but I take that back, there were some with the cheerleader, dance-team-type girls in my high school.
Nothing like what was shown on MTV. That's just ... rediculous.
posted by SpecialK at 3:12 PM on May 31, 2005

I grew up in one of the nicer suburbs of Memphis and they were part of the rage then ~15 years ago. They were carryovers from debutante balls that fell out of fashion. Then again my high school had full fledged sororities and fraternities so we may have been an outlier in the trend.
posted by karmaville at 3:54 PM on May 31, 2005

My friends and I all had sweet-sixteen parties (Montreal). But they were typical teenage parties, with a group-gift and a party with your friends in one of your friend's backyard or playroom, and a more formal party with the family (and more gifts).

Nothing so extravagant like the MTV series - but then, that would not make good TV anyways ;)

Let's also remember Ringo Starr's greatest hit in the 80s (which now has such a squick factor) "You're sixteen...you're beautiful...and you're mine (all mine, mine, mine!)"
posted by seawallrunner at 5:45 PM on May 31, 2005

Another Long Islander chiming in... In fact, a friend of mine was just talking to a co-worker about this very subject today. And it sounds like a fairly common practice here (I have no personal experience, being single with no kids). I think I first heard about it maybe 10-15 years ago, and was surprised about it then. When I was that age (1977), I don't remember any of my female friends having such a celebration. Birthday party, yes; such shindig, no.

A quick excerpt from the above conversation:
Joe: "...and her dad said, she could have either the party or the new car - her choice. So she chose the party. Her thinking was, 'With the party, I'll get money. And then I can buy my own car'."
Mike: "Yeah, but she probably got both."
Joe: "You know, I think she did."

It's the sense of entitlement that baffles me.
posted by ObscureReferenceMan at 5:48 PM on May 31, 2005

I have to go with the Long Island aspect of this. It's the only place I ever heard of it and it was everywhere. My daughter just turned 16 this spring and though she is living in Indiana now she returns a couple times a year to visit friends. This summer her and 2 friends seem to think the will join together to do one of these parties. And it is about the money. That whole mentality (parties required for every event, bring gifts please) was one of the few things I didn't like about Long Island when we lived there. And that attitude tended to get started in preschool.
posted by mss at 6:35 PM on May 31, 2005

Surprised that no one has mentioned the possibility of Sweet 16's being a JAP phenomenon (that's Jewish American princess, and I can use the potentially offensive term because I'm Jewish). I wonder if the real origin has anything to do with Jews being excluded from deb balls, coming-out parties, and the like. I didn't see the TV show, though, so I apologize if I'm talking out of my arse.
posted by scratch at 9:21 AM on June 1, 2005