How am I? That depends. Who's calling?

August 5, 2011 12:11 PM

When making a business call, is it more common to introduce yourself before the niceties or afterwards?

When phoning someone on a business matter, I have always first introduced myself with my name and then my company name, and then asked the common North American "how are you doing today"- type questions.

I now work in a much different region than I used to (I've gone from very urban centers on the west coast to a very remote and landlocked industrial/farming small town), and it seems like most callers here first ask "how's it going today" before telling me who they are. This drives me just the tiniest bit crazy because the answer to that question-- at least for me-- differs depending on who's calling.

To be fair, I always just answer "Excellent! And you?" because it's cheerful, but I'm confused as to whether it's quite common and I just hadn't noticed it before, or if it might be a regional thing. It seems to me that in my experience it has always been intro-first, and that's how I handle it when making calls even today, but now I can't really remember how it is supposed to go.

I'm not asking which is right and which is wrong, I'm only trying to sort out if I'm completely imagining that there's a sudden difference. Which one sounds more common to you in your area?

posted by mireille to Society & Culture (24 answers total)

I have noticed in fact that some cold-callers seem to be operating under the assumption that everyone has caller ID and therefore knows who is calling them before they answer, and that furthermore if you weren't willing to talk to them you simply wouldn't have answered. And to be fair, this may well be true of the majority of people they call.
posted by kindall at 12:17 PM on August 5, 2011

I get that crap from cold sales calls all the time. I assume a book came out saying that this establishes rapport etc etc and they think they are super clever for gaming you like that.

I become increasingly frosty and hostile the longer I have to wait to get a goddamn explanation why I'm being interrupted by someone I didn't ask to call me. It makes me feel briefly better, but doesn't stop them.
posted by Lyn Never at 12:19 PM on August 5, 2011 [2 favorites]

Yeah, i find it super creepy when I answer the phone and the caller opens with "Hey, how you doing today?" all chipper and used-car-salesman-y. UGH. Tell me who you are and THEN start in with the friendly stuff. I usually answer with a cold "And who is THIS, please?" before anything else.

I'm in NYC. And I answer a billion calls a day so buddy, you better get to the point fast!
posted by silverstatue at 12:26 PM on August 5, 2011 [6 favorites]

Whenever I get a call that starts, "Hi! Is this Kinetic? How you doing today?" I sigh heavily then hang up.
posted by kinetic at 12:28 PM on August 5, 2011 [4 favorites]

In my experience, people who have legitimate business to discuss always establishes who they are before conversing. People who call and say, "hey, Jennifer, how's it going today?" right off the bat generally want to tell me about their special offers. (Protip: it's been at least seven years since anyone's called me Jennifer.) I grew up in the South, which is pretty casual with regard to the hihowareya bit, and professional people still always identified themselves first. Now I live in Chicago, and it's the same here.

When I pick up the phone from a number I don't know and get a casual greeting, I generally give them a very short time to identify themselves (e.g. "I'm fine, who's calling please? ...OK, but again, who is calling please? ...I'm going to hang up on you if you don't tell me who...OK, right a sales call. Not interested, thank you"). The telemarketers these days definitely have been trained in "friendly" phone speak. Always identify yourself.
posted by phunniemee at 12:31 PM on August 5, 2011 [1 favorite]

I noticed this too. I used to work on the east coast, now I live in the Midwest. Same thing. "Hello, how are you today?" "Uh, fine, I guess, total stranger?" "This is such and such calling about blah blah blah." "OH. I'm fine, how are you?" It seems logically backwards to me. I'm not going to give the standard "How are you?" reply if I don't know who are you first. Is that really what other people do?
posted by bleep at 12:31 PM on August 5, 2011 [1 favorite]

I always just respond with "Hi." in a tone that embodies "Thanks, but no, I'm going to politely decline to play that game, please just tell me why you are calling so that I can decide whether I care or not." And then I wait for them to explain who they are and why they're calling.
posted by thebazilist at 12:33 PM on August 5, 2011 [1 favorite]

I think it's very reasonable that you're somewhat put off by the anonymous warm greetings, and I think it would be commendable for you to continue to avoid doing that to anybody else. Don't be lured into thinking it's a local culture.
posted by aimedwander at 12:34 PM on August 5, 2011 [2 favorites]

I work in an NYC office as well. The only people who ask how I'm doing before telling me who they are got my number off a list they bought and want to sell me something.
posted by griphus at 12:34 PM on August 5, 2011 [1 favorite]

The telemarketers these days definitely have been trained in "friendly" phone speak.

Heh, yeah. Two kinds of people call my office: telemarketers and people who need to get shit done, fast. Guess which one of the two sounds like they just called to say hello.
posted by griphus at 12:42 PM on August 5, 2011

I always state my name first, inbound or outbound. I find most other people do too, if it's legitimate business that we have going on.

Someone starting with the niceties is a dead giveaway of a telemarketer or such, and it's shields up.

Mind you, some of them give a vague 'Dave from Companex' description to pass the gatekeepers. Even so, the niceties tone is a total reveal.

Get to the point, and FAST.
posted by Capt. Renault at 12:42 PM on August 5, 2011 [1 favorite]

This is grooming talk, it has nothing to do with logic. (read The Naked Ape for more on that). It is common to have more of it in remote regions. In a village in Africa, the cycle would be even longer — you'd be expected to ask about your interlocutor, then about his family, livestock, village etc. before getting to business. Cutting to the chase is just perceived as rude.

If you want to fit in, try to listen to the conversation patterns of local people and emulate them. Maybe the pattern is 1.hi, 2. introduce yourself, 3. niceties, 4. introduce your business. 5. etc. Also pay attention to the "exit pattern", it's common to have a few cycles of goodbyes.

tl,dr; When in Rome, do as the Romans do.
posted by Tom-B at 12:43 PM on August 5, 2011 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: Thanks for the input thus far-- good to know I'm not the only one who finds it off-putting.

The good news is that I rarely get cold-callers and telemarketers. That no-call, no-fax Canada list must be working.

The less good news is that the callers that I'm specifically referring to are those calling in to my business. As in, the business I own. So I have to be nice-- and since it's a very small town, I kind of have to be quite warm as well-- just in case.
posted by mireille at 12:47 PM on August 5, 2011

I've had to cold call folks before and found that I was much more successful by starting out with "Hi, I'm [my name] from [organization you're familiar with], and I'm looking for [you]."
posted by jander03 at 1:08 PM on August 5, 2011 [1 favorite]

Yeah, the random greeters-before-introduction are always, always creeper marketing douchebags. I always introduce myself first when I call, lest I be mistaken for one of their foul number.
posted by elizardbits at 1:12 PM on August 5, 2011

That's rough that these seem to be actual people and potential customers doing this. Like many of the other commenters, to me that's a very reliable indicator that somebody's cold-calling:
"Hi, is BossLady available?" = almost certainly a cold call
"Hi, Lexi, it's SoAndSo from WhicheverCo, is BossLady available?" = almost never a cold call
posted by Lexica at 1:14 PM on August 5, 2011

I'm in Ontario and when I call someone new, which happens a few times a day, I always do:

Hi there, this is _______ calling from _______, how are you doing? Great. Listen, I'm calling because ________....

Granted, I'm not in sales and am only ever looking for information and I know that the people I'm calling are just like me and want me to get to the point fast.
posted by fso at 1:53 PM on August 5, 2011

In my area (North Bay, CA), most folks cut to the chase by introducing themselves and then stating the reason for their call. Still, there are the scant few who respond to a "Good afternoon, department X" with the North American "how are you doing today?" It drives me batty, because it. just.wastes. both. of. our. time. I don't think the caller likely cares, and it's generally not relevant to the issue at hand.

I've stopped answering the question about my well-being entirely by making a prompt, but friendly, "May I help you?" my standard reply. So far, no one's seemed put off by my failure to describe my state of being. This may be because I'm a government employee, and it may not translate as well into your circumstances, but it's worked for me.
posted by Graygorey at 2:26 PM on August 5, 2011

State your name and what business you have calling me, in that order. Don't use an upward inflection, as if you're asking me your name.
Asking me "how are you today" only succeeds in taking seconds off my life. You don't have permission to do that...but if you state your business up front, I just may take you up on your offer, whatever it is.
posted by BostonTerrier at 2:42 PM on August 5, 2011

"Hello, this is ___ from ____; may I please speak with ____?"

Anybody who starts out with fluffy little greetings and hi-how-are-ya, acting like they're some sort of long lost buddy of mine, ain't getting very far --- if I'm at work, it's an icy "who is this please?!?", but if I'm at home? It's more like "what the *bleep* do YOU want?"
posted by easily confused at 2:44 PM on August 5, 2011

If I'm calling a client or a colleague, I identify myself and ask how they are. If I'm calling a business or a colleague I haven't met, I identify myself and say why I'm calling.
posted by freshwater at 4:51 PM on August 5, 2011

Yep, super annoying. I get it with telemarketers all the time. But even more annoying, CUSTOMERS do it. While I'm glad you're calling, because, you know, I hope to do business with you, please just get to the point.
posted by BryanPayne at 5:36 PM on August 5, 2011

I helped a friend with a study a while back (it was for a Masters project in Sociology I believe, but it was about a decade ago so I don't remember the details). Basically, we hung out on a busy downtown street and asked passersby a simple current-events opinion question on the pretext of doing a survey. For half, we opened by saying "How are you?" and for the other half, we started with the question. The "How are you?" group tanked - everyone's guard goes up immediately and they are much more likely to blow you off.

What is interesting is that she was doing the same thing in European cities of the same size (she's Czech) and got the opposite result - she said people responded well to the niceties. Maybe that kind of thing hasn't been co-opted by marketers so strongly over there?
posted by ella wren at 8:34 PM on August 5, 2011

Hmmm... the people doing this to you are people you have to be nice to because they may be about to give you a job? awkward!!
As eye-rolly as this sounds, I'd come up with a catchphrase.

?: ring-ring
M: "Hello, Business Inc., this is Mireille!"
?: "Hi, how are you today?"
M: "It's a great day for [programming, plastering, advertizing]! What can I help you with?" (i.e. whatever it is you do, if there's a good word for it, same stock phrase no matter what. And yes, this is cheesy, but don't worry, they're asking for it.)
?: "Oh, this is Sally Jones at [Business], I wanted to ask about [topic]."
M: "Sally, thanks for calling, how are you doing?"
?=Sally: "Very well, thanks" (and she may ask "how are you today?" again, in which case you can now answer "fine, thanks" "Doing well" "Things are great" or whatever you'd normally say - but if she doesn't ask, so much the better.)
Then you say "So about that [topic]..." and you can get on with it.
posted by aimedwander at 7:46 AM on August 16, 2011