Now that I've got my appetite back, how do I build a healthy relationship with food?
August 4, 2011 7:16 PM Subscribe
I've had a chronically poor appetite for 7 years. I've been blaming myself for being broken, but it turns out I was just a gluten-intolerant Italian-American. Can you help me re-frame my relationship with food?
There are a lot of good threads on MeFi already about gluten-free foods, so this isn't a question about that. It's about the mental side of things, I guess. If it matters, I've been gluten-free for 3 weeks.
I've been steadily losing weight these last 7 years. Factually, it's not a huge difference: I'm 5'3" and seven years ago I was 145; now I'm 120. But the sicker I've gotten, the more people have told me how great I look (and either implied or said outright that it was because of how skinny I'd gotten). Now that my appetite has come back, I've been noticing how much of a mind-fuck that is.
I don't even really trust my own body yet, because my stomach has been the enemy for so long. And my whole diet has been a bit whacked this whole time, because although I love salads, I've also been operating on the principle that some food--no matter what it was--was better than none if something looked good after 3 days of being nauseated by everything.
So how do I start eating like a normal person again without freaking myself out that eating until I get full is going to make me blow up like a balloon? (Note: part of what freaks me out about this is that up until now, I would have said I didn't care that much about what size I was, and now it turns out that there are these demons in my head). And can you give me some strategies for gradually adjusting to having an appetite again after such a long time without one? I'm totally weirded out by how often I get hungry now, which makes me feel like an alien.
Sorry if this is sort of a weird question, but if anyone's got advice from experience to share, I'd be really grateful.
There are a lot of good threads on MeFi already about gluten-free foods, so this isn't a question about that. It's about the mental side of things, I guess. If it matters, I've been gluten-free for 3 weeks.
I've been steadily losing weight these last 7 years. Factually, it's not a huge difference: I'm 5'3" and seven years ago I was 145; now I'm 120. But the sicker I've gotten, the more people have told me how great I look (and either implied or said outright that it was because of how skinny I'd gotten). Now that my appetite has come back, I've been noticing how much of a mind-fuck that is.
I don't even really trust my own body yet, because my stomach has been the enemy for so long. And my whole diet has been a bit whacked this whole time, because although I love salads, I've also been operating on the principle that some food--no matter what it was--was better than none if something looked good after 3 days of being nauseated by everything.
So how do I start eating like a normal person again without freaking myself out that eating until I get full is going to make me blow up like a balloon? (Note: part of what freaks me out about this is that up until now, I would have said I didn't care that much about what size I was, and now it turns out that there are these demons in my head). And can you give me some strategies for gradually adjusting to having an appetite again after such a long time without one? I'm totally weirded out by how often I get hungry now, which makes me feel like an alien.
Sorry if this is sort of a weird question, but if anyone's got advice from experience to share, I'd be really grateful.
Best answer: It's not a weird question.
I dealt with a really different version of this, because I was coming out of an eating disorder rather than being sick, but I did deal with something similar.
I think the key to sane eating is to get really good at listening to your body. Our bodies tell us when we need to eat and when it's time to stop, but people often train ourselves to ignore these signals. What you should do is work really hard on correctly interpreting your body's hunger and satiety cues. When you're eating, pause periodically to ask yourself whether you're still hungry. If you're not sure, wait a minute and then recheck. When you're not hungry anymore, stop eating. Make sure you have something good on hand to eat when you're hungry again, because it's easy to shove lots of gross food down your throat without thinking about it if you wait to eat until you're really starving.
I find it easier to do this if I'm getting enough sleep, drinking enough water, and not overly stressed out or upset, because it's hard for me to distinguish between hunger and other unpleasant sensations. Obviously, you can't make your life totally perfect for ever and ever, but I would try to minimize other issues while you're making the transition. Seriously: getting enough sleep was key for me.
And finally, it may be that your body wants to weigh 145, rather than 120. And if so, I really, really think you should try to be ok with that. I think it's way better to listen to your body and weigh twenty pounds more than you want than to lose the ability to listen to your body.
posted by craichead at 7:47 PM on August 4, 2011 [6 favorites]
I dealt with a really different version of this, because I was coming out of an eating disorder rather than being sick, but I did deal with something similar.
I think the key to sane eating is to get really good at listening to your body. Our bodies tell us when we need to eat and when it's time to stop, but people often train ourselves to ignore these signals. What you should do is work really hard on correctly interpreting your body's hunger and satiety cues. When you're eating, pause periodically to ask yourself whether you're still hungry. If you're not sure, wait a minute and then recheck. When you're not hungry anymore, stop eating. Make sure you have something good on hand to eat when you're hungry again, because it's easy to shove lots of gross food down your throat without thinking about it if you wait to eat until you're really starving.
I find it easier to do this if I'm getting enough sleep, drinking enough water, and not overly stressed out or upset, because it's hard for me to distinguish between hunger and other unpleasant sensations. Obviously, you can't make your life totally perfect for ever and ever, but I would try to minimize other issues while you're making the transition. Seriously: getting enough sleep was key for me.
And finally, it may be that your body wants to weigh 145, rather than 120. And if so, I really, really think you should try to be ok with that. I think it's way better to listen to your body and weigh twenty pounds more than you want than to lose the ability to listen to your body.
posted by craichead at 7:47 PM on August 4, 2011 [6 favorites]
Best answer: Time, time, time. Your digestive bits haven't even fully recovered yet, so right now just treat good food as medicine. You don't have to get back to a certain weight right now, you just need to eat and digest properly. Without wheat, it's pretty hard to overeat unless you go bonkers on rice and potatoes. Don't go bonkers on rice and potatoes.
When you have full-blown gluten intolerance without knowing it, you are malnourished. Your body needs unadulterated food right now. And if you are judicious with your carbs, you won't blow up; it's really hard to overeat on protein and low-starch vegetables because you just become painfully full (which you will find to be a completely different sensation than wheat bloat).
I say don't weigh yourself for 3-4 months, but do get a baseline of your main circumferences with a measuring tape. Until then, eat as you can and listen to your body. Try to maintain a moderate exercise regimen. At that point start weighing and adjust your diet to suit you. By then you will have let your body heal and learned to listen to it.
Keep in mind, if you are careful with your carbs, you may find a protein-and-greens-based 145 to be significantly smaller than a wheaty bloaty 145. So don't let your life be dictated by pounds; make your decisions based on measurements.
posted by Lyn Never at 7:57 PM on August 4, 2011 [3 favorites]
When you have full-blown gluten intolerance without knowing it, you are malnourished. Your body needs unadulterated food right now. And if you are judicious with your carbs, you won't blow up; it's really hard to overeat on protein and low-starch vegetables because you just become painfully full (which you will find to be a completely different sensation than wheat bloat).
I say don't weigh yourself for 3-4 months, but do get a baseline of your main circumferences with a measuring tape. Until then, eat as you can and listen to your body. Try to maintain a moderate exercise regimen. At that point start weighing and adjust your diet to suit you. By then you will have let your body heal and learned to listen to it.
Keep in mind, if you are careful with your carbs, you may find a protein-and-greens-based 145 to be significantly smaller than a wheaty bloaty 145. So don't let your life be dictated by pounds; make your decisions based on measurements.
posted by Lyn Never at 7:57 PM on August 4, 2011 [3 favorites]
Best answer: I know exactly what you mean.
I've never been heavy, I've always been underweight. The older women in my family are all really heavy though and I was teased by some stupid boys who told me I would end up just like them because of genetics. I'm still haunted by that thought.
When I found out about my Celiac Disease I was 26 years old and had already had two kids. I was still underweight. I was scared to death that once I started the new diet that I would suddenly balloon up. It's still something that I worry about even though I know it isn't healthy.
I have gained weight since going gluten-free. Now instead of being almost 5'9" and between 110-115 pounds I hover right around 125-130. I'm no longer underweight, I'm on the low side of normal. I went from sickly to healthy. I've had another baby since, and the baby weight wasn't any harder to lose. I actually gained less during that pregnancy than I had with the other two.
I have more energy, my skin is clearer, and I get sick a whole lot less often. 15 pounds makes a huge difference to me, but I don't look a whole lot different. Most of my old clothes still fit, and I'm only one or two sizes bigger in jeans. I don't know if that helps you, but that's my experience.
I also have a hard time with my appetite. It's been years, but I still struggle. I've found that eating small, frequent meals is better than sitting down three times a day. If I have big meals it actually hurts and then I'm back to not liking to eat.
I've also found it's nice to have lots of easily made or convenience foods around. Then if I'm hungry but don't have any energy I can just grab something quick. Right now my favorite thing is the new Cocoa Pebbles cereal bars.
posted by TooFewShoes at 8:17 PM on August 4, 2011
I've never been heavy, I've always been underweight. The older women in my family are all really heavy though and I was teased by some stupid boys who told me I would end up just like them because of genetics. I'm still haunted by that thought.
When I found out about my Celiac Disease I was 26 years old and had already had two kids. I was still underweight. I was scared to death that once I started the new diet that I would suddenly balloon up. It's still something that I worry about even though I know it isn't healthy.
I have gained weight since going gluten-free. Now instead of being almost 5'9" and between 110-115 pounds I hover right around 125-130. I'm no longer underweight, I'm on the low side of normal. I went from sickly to healthy. I've had another baby since, and the baby weight wasn't any harder to lose. I actually gained less during that pregnancy than I had with the other two.
I have more energy, my skin is clearer, and I get sick a whole lot less often. 15 pounds makes a huge difference to me, but I don't look a whole lot different. Most of my old clothes still fit, and I'm only one or two sizes bigger in jeans. I don't know if that helps you, but that's my experience.
I also have a hard time with my appetite. It's been years, but I still struggle. I've found that eating small, frequent meals is better than sitting down three times a day. If I have big meals it actually hurts and then I'm back to not liking to eat.
I've also found it's nice to have lots of easily made or convenience foods around. Then if I'm hungry but don't have any energy I can just grab something quick. Right now my favorite thing is the new Cocoa Pebbles cereal bars.
posted by TooFewShoes at 8:17 PM on August 4, 2011
Revisit that moment in history when Eastern food was introduced to Western: rice noodles came first, so go back to them?
posted by MidSouthern Mouth at 9:00 PM on August 4, 2011
posted by MidSouthern Mouth at 9:00 PM on August 4, 2011
Best answer: If you've been eating at a chronic nutrient and caloric deficit for years you probably will see some weight gain when eating at normal levels. Our bodies strive to achieve homoeostasis and will adjust weight loss, fat loss, hunger levels, insulin, all of that when confronted with stress to adapt to that stress. Which is a fancy way of saying if your metabolism has downregulated eating at healthy levels may make things a bit wonky for a bit.
This may be an alarming thing but it is not a bad thing. I'd take advantage of your newfound ability to absorb nutrients properly and get plenty of healthy food and use it to improve your ability to do a new physical activity, whether it's running or lifting or bowling.
posted by Anonymous at 11:18 PM on August 4, 2011
This may be an alarming thing but it is not a bad thing. I'd take advantage of your newfound ability to absorb nutrients properly and get plenty of healthy food and use it to improve your ability to do a new physical activity, whether it's running or lifting or bowling.
posted by Anonymous at 11:18 PM on August 4, 2011
Response by poster: Thanks so much for your help. I am very, very grateful for it.
posted by colfax at 11:38 AM on August 5, 2011
posted by colfax at 11:38 AM on August 5, 2011
Best answer: I had a similar (although less severe) thing when I had recurring giardia for a few years - I became completely paranoid about eating anything spicy or acidic because it always lead to a lot of PAIN. What I did (once the giardia was finally diagnosed and fixed) was pick the things I was scared of but that I still liked the smell of, and tried a little bit at a time. Slowly good experiences overshadowed the previous pain.
Also, if you're gluten intolerant, seek out cuisines that are naturally low in wheat - e.g. lebanese, thai, vietnamese etc - if the wheat product isn't an inherent part of the meal it's easier to avoid. This is what one of my friends who is coeliac does.
As for the impact on your weight, the best thing you can do is turn the gluten-intolerance into a positive and learn about the nutritional value of food. A lot of people with undiagnosed gluten-intolerance go on to get serious conditions associated with insufficient nutrients. Stay away from empty calories and over-processed food and not only will you be restoring nutrition to your body you're also less likely to get fat. (of course this won't help if you eat too much, but usually, if you get full then stop eating - that works for most people :o)
posted by misscait at 6:25 AM on August 6, 2011
Also, if you're gluten intolerant, seek out cuisines that are naturally low in wheat - e.g. lebanese, thai, vietnamese etc - if the wheat product isn't an inherent part of the meal it's easier to avoid. This is what one of my friends who is coeliac does.
As for the impact on your weight, the best thing you can do is turn the gluten-intolerance into a positive and learn about the nutritional value of food. A lot of people with undiagnosed gluten-intolerance go on to get serious conditions associated with insufficient nutrients. Stay away from empty calories and over-processed food and not only will you be restoring nutrition to your body you're also less likely to get fat. (of course this won't help if you eat too much, but usually, if you get full then stop eating - that works for most people :o)
posted by misscait at 6:25 AM on August 6, 2011
Best answer: gluten-intolerant Italian-American
My first thought when I read that was "poor baby - no more pasta!" so I wanted to remind you about Sausage and Peppers Parmesan. Just fry 'em up (with onions, mushrooms, garlic) put in a casserole with your favorite sauce, cheese on top and bake. You never miss the pasta.
Best of luck with your new eating plans.
posted by CathyG at 7:40 AM on August 6, 2011 [1 favorite]
My first thought when I read that was "poor baby - no more pasta!" so I wanted to remind you about Sausage and Peppers Parmesan. Just fry 'em up (with onions, mushrooms, garlic) put in a casserole with your favorite sauce, cheese on top and bake. You never miss the pasta.
Best of luck with your new eating plans.
posted by CathyG at 7:40 AM on August 6, 2011 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: CathyG, that recipe looks amazing! I totally just teared up looking at that recipe, because it's such a relief to have something to fill the pasta-shaped hole in my diet.
posted by colfax at 10:15 PM on August 7, 2011
posted by colfax at 10:15 PM on August 7, 2011
Full disclosure: I don't really use that recipe. I use a jar of Ragu/Prego for the sauce. And I put mozarella on top and bake it to brown the cheese.
And a comment: I thought that dish was a fairly common one, but when I went searching for a recipe I couldn't find one the way I make it. Most of the recipes I found were for a pasta sauce, but we eat this as a casserole all the time with no pasta.
posted by CathyG at 4:00 PM on August 9, 2011
And a comment: I thought that dish was a fairly common one, but when I went searching for a recipe I couldn't find one the way I make it. Most of the recipes I found were for a pasta sauce, but we eat this as a casserole all the time with no pasta.
posted by CathyG at 4:00 PM on August 9, 2011
Corn pasta is pretty good. FYI.
posted by TooFewShoes at 7:03 PM on August 15, 2011
posted by TooFewShoes at 7:03 PM on August 15, 2011
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posted by blargerz at 7:30 PM on August 4, 2011