My boss is a pleasant control freak.
January 19, 2011 9:30 AM Subscribe
My boss is a control freak, but a really considerate, generous one. (My apologies for a slightly lengthy post inside).
I've been at my new job for six months. My mid-year review was excellent, albeit consisting of three lines that went something like 'She's doing a great job, has taken ownership of certain set tasks, keep it up, etc.' My boss compliments me, and likes to chitchat when we have downtime. She's asked to go to lunch with me and my friends when we go to sushi (she loves it) or ramen, so she's not aloof or condescending. I love everything about my job - location, pay (well, not exactly ecstatic but I knew a career transition would put me at the bottom of the pay scale), co-workers,...even my boss. She's a stunning petite woman who is extremely intelligent, knows her industry inside out, and has plenty of clout with senior management. She will never EVER admit she's wrong. EVER. (And yes, there have been small mistakes she's made, but she'll gloss over them). She's a perfectionist and wants everything done her way - we are a two-person regulatory department for a pharmaceutical company. When something displeases her, she's the epitome of polite passive-aggressiveness. She doesn't micromanage - quite the opposite - but getting her to give me things to do is like pulling teeth. I don't think she quite realizes what I'm capable of (not tooting my own horn, just realistic) but how do I prove it to her when I'm not allowed to?
I took this job for the experience. I have a PhD, but no work experience. I'm more than willing to paper-push if it needs to be done, but we are in the midst of filing a large marketing application to the FDA and I'd like to be a part of it. When the original job posting came my way from a mutual colleague, I was excited because my boss's email to that person said she was looking for someone to train. At the interview, she said she wanted someone with no experience so she could train them to do things how she wanted, as this department is relatively new.
We've already had a discussion about how I don't have enough experience as yet to be involved with this important FDA application to a great extent on content level (what goes into the submission) and I let her know I wanted to be involved, and that I wished I was better experienced so I could help her more. However, there are certain tasks that I know I can do such as formatting files for regulatory compliance, which I do for less-important documents and she knows I'm good at, but it seems it's easier for her to do it than to train me to do it. True, if I did it she'd have to go over the document anyway for content, so it might be easier for her to do it. But if I don't get to work on something when it needs to be done, how will I know how to do it the next time around? How will I ever learn? In addition, she's talked about hiring a manager (higher level than I am, she's a director) with more regulatory experience - this scares me because that really diminishes my opportunities to learn by doing. When I actually ask her if I can do a particular task, her stock reply is 'you're more than welcome to go over it when I'm done'... she tracks changes. I am aware that constantly asking her for stuff to do is annoying - this is not the case here, and I'm patient enough to bide my time and wait till she's not swamped. The thing is, there's been a few times when I am bored senseless, and I'm not the type that's endlessly entertained by social networking or the Internet.
Is there any way I can talk to her about this? It is a stressful time right now at work as we prepare for this big FDA submission. As a manager, has any of you seen such a situation from her perspective? Am I being naive to think that I am here to learn? Do I need to speak up for myself? Am I expecting too much too fast? Should I have some sort of long-term strategy/ plan going forward if things don't seem to get better? I'm non-confrontational, tactful, docile and polite to a fault (my friends say I'm 'too nice'). I'd guess my faults are that I'm somewhat sensitive, emotional, very idealistic, and slightly absent-minded. I'm also not too ambitious, and find it hard to assert myself when I perhaps need to. I don't want to piss her off or imply that I'm unhappy because for now, I'm not. I have no intention of leaving this company for the conceivable future - the benefits are great, we have excellent financial backing, and we're in the best weather in the nation. This job is important to me and I only want to excel at it. Your input is greatly appreciated, MeFites. Thank you so much.
I've been at my new job for six months. My mid-year review was excellent, albeit consisting of three lines that went something like 'She's doing a great job, has taken ownership of certain set tasks, keep it up, etc.' My boss compliments me, and likes to chitchat when we have downtime. She's asked to go to lunch with me and my friends when we go to sushi (she loves it) or ramen, so she's not aloof or condescending. I love everything about my job - location, pay (well, not exactly ecstatic but I knew a career transition would put me at the bottom of the pay scale), co-workers,...even my boss. She's a stunning petite woman who is extremely intelligent, knows her industry inside out, and has plenty of clout with senior management. She will never EVER admit she's wrong. EVER. (And yes, there have been small mistakes she's made, but she'll gloss over them). She's a perfectionist and wants everything done her way - we are a two-person regulatory department for a pharmaceutical company. When something displeases her, she's the epitome of polite passive-aggressiveness. She doesn't micromanage - quite the opposite - but getting her to give me things to do is like pulling teeth. I don't think she quite realizes what I'm capable of (not tooting my own horn, just realistic) but how do I prove it to her when I'm not allowed to?
I took this job for the experience. I have a PhD, but no work experience. I'm more than willing to paper-push if it needs to be done, but we are in the midst of filing a large marketing application to the FDA and I'd like to be a part of it. When the original job posting came my way from a mutual colleague, I was excited because my boss's email to that person said she was looking for someone to train. At the interview, she said she wanted someone with no experience so she could train them to do things how she wanted, as this department is relatively new.
We've already had a discussion about how I don't have enough experience as yet to be involved with this important FDA application to a great extent on content level (what goes into the submission) and I let her know I wanted to be involved, and that I wished I was better experienced so I could help her more. However, there are certain tasks that I know I can do such as formatting files for regulatory compliance, which I do for less-important documents and she knows I'm good at, but it seems it's easier for her to do it than to train me to do it. True, if I did it she'd have to go over the document anyway for content, so it might be easier for her to do it. But if I don't get to work on something when it needs to be done, how will I know how to do it the next time around? How will I ever learn? In addition, she's talked about hiring a manager (higher level than I am, she's a director) with more regulatory experience - this scares me because that really diminishes my opportunities to learn by doing. When I actually ask her if I can do a particular task, her stock reply is 'you're more than welcome to go over it when I'm done'... she tracks changes. I am aware that constantly asking her for stuff to do is annoying - this is not the case here, and I'm patient enough to bide my time and wait till she's not swamped. The thing is, there's been a few times when I am bored senseless, and I'm not the type that's endlessly entertained by social networking or the Internet.
Is there any way I can talk to her about this? It is a stressful time right now at work as we prepare for this big FDA submission. As a manager, has any of you seen such a situation from her perspective? Am I being naive to think that I am here to learn? Do I need to speak up for myself? Am I expecting too much too fast? Should I have some sort of long-term strategy/ plan going forward if things don't seem to get better? I'm non-confrontational, tactful, docile and polite to a fault (my friends say I'm 'too nice'). I'd guess my faults are that I'm somewhat sensitive, emotional, very idealistic, and slightly absent-minded. I'm also not too ambitious, and find it hard to assert myself when I perhaps need to. I don't want to piss her off or imply that I'm unhappy because for now, I'm not. I have no intention of leaving this company for the conceivable future - the benefits are great, we have excellent financial backing, and we're in the best weather in the nation. This job is important to me and I only want to excel at it. Your input is greatly appreciated, MeFites. Thank you so much.
You should bring this up to your boss. It doesn't have to be a critical discussion or even a serious, "I need to talk to you" conversation. You can simply approach her and say, "I like what I'm doing, but I'd love to contribute more. What can I do?" Even better is to be prepared with a list of projects you're interested in taking on instead of waiting for each opportunity to occur and then asking when she's already got a plan figured out. She may not be the control freak you imagine her to be. It may just be that she finds it easier to handle these issues in a way that has always worked before.
However, there are certain tasks that I know I can do such as formatting files for regulatory compliance, which I do for less-important documents and she knows I'm good at, but it seems it's easier for her to do it than to train me to do it.
Exactly.
Talking to her about it when there's time to work something out may be your best bet.
I suspect you're obsessing a little bit over her, maybe out of fear. I noticed little things in your post - like, why do we need to know she likes sushi? Why is it important that she's stunning and petite? I'm not saying this to snark - my point is that it seems like you're spending too much time thinking about your boss and perhaps making her more intimidating than she actually is. Just go for it. Respectfully, of course, but be proactive. The worst she can do is say no.
posted by katillathehun at 9:56 AM on January 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
However, there are certain tasks that I know I can do such as formatting files for regulatory compliance, which I do for less-important documents and she knows I'm good at, but it seems it's easier for her to do it than to train me to do it.
Exactly.
Talking to her about it when there's time to work something out may be your best bet.
I suspect you're obsessing a little bit over her, maybe out of fear. I noticed little things in your post - like, why do we need to know she likes sushi? Why is it important that she's stunning and petite? I'm not saying this to snark - my point is that it seems like you're spending too much time thinking about your boss and perhaps making her more intimidating than she actually is. Just go for it. Respectfully, of course, but be proactive. The worst she can do is say no.
posted by katillathehun at 9:56 AM on January 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
Best answer: When she offers you opportunities to go over things she's completed, do you do so? You might not be able to work on a project, but maybe you could ask a few questions on the project here and there. She sounds like she's willing to explain things (and most bosses I know loooove to hear themselves talk).
Beyond that, I wouldn't push too hard. The main priority in an office is to get the work done. Training you for bigger and better things is a latent priority- she's not going to accept doing a project slower just so you can learn how to do it and she can fix it when you're done, I've never seen it work that way. At six months in with no other work experience, you still probably have a lot to learn. So keep on trucking. And don't be too sour on somebody new coming into the department- that person might be able to work closer with you on projects.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 9:59 AM on January 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
Beyond that, I wouldn't push too hard. The main priority in an office is to get the work done. Training you for bigger and better things is a latent priority- she's not going to accept doing a project slower just so you can learn how to do it and she can fix it when you're done, I've never seen it work that way. At six months in with no other work experience, you still probably have a lot to learn. So keep on trucking. And don't be too sour on somebody new coming into the department- that person might be able to work closer with you on projects.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 9:59 AM on January 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
You said it - perfectionist and usually they are control freaks so they can maintain perfection. I have no good advice. But I doubt she will change no matter what you say. If you have all those plus factors going I would hang in and get what you can from the job. But there is really nothing, IMHO, that you can say or do to change your bosses behavior.
posted by shaarog at 9:59 AM on January 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by shaarog at 9:59 AM on January 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
Best answer: Going over work she's done is training. It's passive training, but it's a way to teach you what she considers important, and to see if you notice things she's missed. It's also a way for her to gauge how interested you really are in learning the business; a month or two of reviewing her work - and bringing up questions or inconsistencies you observed, in the spirit of "as I learn more about X, I wonder why it's described as Z on page 42 and as C in Appendix A" - will prove more about your willingness to be trained than asking for more, different work.
posted by catlet at 10:09 AM on January 19, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by catlet at 10:09 AM on January 19, 2011 [3 favorites]
The time to get on-the-job training is, ideally, a low-stress time for the company, not a high-stress one. Wait until this big thing is in, then bring up your requests again when your boss can afford the time to double-check your work.
posted by restless_nomad at 10:32 AM on January 19, 2011 [4 favorites]
posted by restless_nomad at 10:32 AM on January 19, 2011 [4 favorites]
Best answer: Hi! I might another incarnation of your manager (minus glossing over my own mistakes--I'm generally pretty good at eating crow with a slice of humble pie to follow).
Big deal projects are big deal projects and it's super-scary to hand critical bits over to someone else, especially if you don't have a ton of time to review their work. I've been in a similar position: perfectionist manager with bright & shiny new team member with little practical experience but sharp with theory + big deal project due to high poobah. The truth is my bright & shiny new hire wasn't really grasping the mundane, practical stuff and kept jockeying for higher level tasks without mastering the logistic crap. I'd have to re-correct his work a lot after I'd already pointed out what needed changing, why, and how to do it. I didn't have time to do his job and mine, so we had to let him go.
This doesn't sound like you, but your manager may have had this experience in the past and is just not ready to share this level of project with someone so new for fear of having to spend a lot of extra time double & triple-checking your work. Six months doesn't seem very long to be involved in a super-major project, PhD notwithstanding UNLESS this kind of work directly falls under your job description. I'd say your best strategy is suck it up for now, continue to over-perform and provide extra support on this project when possible, and the next time something like this comes up, you'll be better positioned to get yourself on the project team. When FDA submission madness is well over (but before the next round), talk to your boss about how you'd like to make sure you get the training & experience you need to be in position to help next time.
posted by smirkette at 10:39 AM on January 19, 2011 [2 favorites]
Big deal projects are big deal projects and it's super-scary to hand critical bits over to someone else, especially if you don't have a ton of time to review their work. I've been in a similar position: perfectionist manager with bright & shiny new team member with little practical experience but sharp with theory + big deal project due to high poobah. The truth is my bright & shiny new hire wasn't really grasping the mundane, practical stuff and kept jockeying for higher level tasks without mastering the logistic crap. I'd have to re-correct his work a lot after I'd already pointed out what needed changing, why, and how to do it. I didn't have time to do his job and mine, so we had to let him go.
This doesn't sound like you, but your manager may have had this experience in the past and is just not ready to share this level of project with someone so new for fear of having to spend a lot of extra time double & triple-checking your work. Six months doesn't seem very long to be involved in a super-major project, PhD notwithstanding UNLESS this kind of work directly falls under your job description. I'd say your best strategy is suck it up for now, continue to over-perform and provide extra support on this project when possible, and the next time something like this comes up, you'll be better positioned to get yourself on the project team. When FDA submission madness is well over (but before the next round), talk to your boss about how you'd like to make sure you get the training & experience you need to be in position to help next time.
posted by smirkette at 10:39 AM on January 19, 2011 [2 favorites]
Response by poster: Thank you for all the input. I definitely do realize patience is a virtue in this particular case, and have often wondered if I'm not doing enough to demonstrate what I'm capable of in terms of going over her work and asking intelligent questions thereafter.
katillathehun, I had a feeling someone would ask me why I included that info, and thought it may give some insight as to the psychology of things. She's had to prove herself, maybe, and is not used to relinquishing control of a situation. Nevertheless, I do have a tendency to overthink things, and I'll try not to.
posted by Everydayville at 10:46 AM on January 19, 2011
katillathehun, I had a feeling someone would ask me why I included that info, and thought it may give some insight as to the psychology of things. She's had to prove herself, maybe, and is not used to relinquishing control of a situation. Nevertheless, I do have a tendency to overthink things, and I'll try not to.
posted by Everydayville at 10:46 AM on January 19, 2011
Response by poster: smirkette, the type of work I'm asking for is exactly under my job description. In fact, the frustration that triggered this post was asking her if I could do this one task that made use of my scientific background as well as the regulatory technicalities she knows I know - she said no. C'est la vie.
posted by Everydayville at 11:08 AM on January 19, 2011
posted by Everydayville at 11:08 AM on January 19, 2011
Are there any real crap tasks (perhaps unrelated to the current filing) that you can take someone else's hands (maybe your boss, maybe not) while she works on more important things? I used to have a job where no one would give me work to do, while other people complained about how much work they had to do.
After begging and begging my boss to delegate more work to me, I finally just asked one of my coworkers if it would help her if I did Task X, at least for the next couple of weeks while she was working on Project Y. Task X wasn't super-interesting, and I didn't learn much by doing it, but I felt better, my coworker was less harried, and at least I had something to do.
There is, of course, the risk that you'll get stuck doing the equivalent of Task X forever.
posted by mskyle at 11:10 AM on January 19, 2011
After begging and begging my boss to delegate more work to me, I finally just asked one of my coworkers if it would help her if I did Task X, at least for the next couple of weeks while she was working on Project Y. Task X wasn't super-interesting, and I didn't learn much by doing it, but I felt better, my coworker was less harried, and at least I had something to do.
There is, of course, the risk that you'll get stuck doing the equivalent of Task X forever.
posted by mskyle at 11:10 AM on January 19, 2011
Is there a way that you could get a "practice" version of that one task you mentioned from her? Say something along the lines of, I'd really like to get some feedback from you regarding the goals we've set for me. Perhaps I could do Task A in parallel with you, and then we can compare the two versions? I think I could really learn a lot from you that way.
Basically, ask to work on a version of the task that will only be seen by her. Use words to butter her up a little bit. People who feel flattered are more likely to say yes.
I am a 'learn by doing' type of person, so looking over old documents is in many ways a waste of time for me. I still do it because you have to look busy, but I get very little out of it. At least this way you can get some hands on type of experience while she maintains complete control.
posted by wwartorff at 12:06 PM on January 19, 2011
Basically, ask to work on a version of the task that will only be seen by her. Use words to butter her up a little bit. People who feel flattered are more likely to say yes.
I am a 'learn by doing' type of person, so looking over old documents is in many ways a waste of time for me. I still do it because you have to look busy, but I get very little out of it. At least this way you can get some hands on type of experience while she maintains complete control.
posted by wwartorff at 12:06 PM on January 19, 2011
This thread is closed to new comments.
You say you're both new to the job and new to the career path. Since you're so new, your boss is likely trying to get a feel for how you handle things. From the perspective of a director, you are WAY too green to be handed big-time content right now. And so she's easing you in, giving you things you feel are beneath your skill set.
On the one hand, you have a point - you likely can do more than you're being given. But on the other hand, regulatory work in particular is touchy, and requires a social skill-set and an experience base that your boss may not feel you have yet.
Don't push your boss too hard just yet. Do this the backdoor way. Read everything you can get your hands on right now. Ask to review your boss' stuff "after she's done with it" so you can learn. Dig into old files on the subjects you're dealing with, to get the backstory. Want extra golden points? Make sure your boss sees you stay late, reading old files. Wow, bosses love that.
By doing this, you're gaining the knowledge and background your boss feels you need, and shows her you've got plenty of initiative. She should start trusting you with bigger stuff as time goes along.
Good luck, and memail me if you need a shoulder. I've been where you are!
posted by LN at 9:56 AM on January 19, 2011 [1 favorite]