Need help with insomnia
October 2, 2010 8:19 AM Subscribe
I've been having trouble sleeping for the last month. What are some ways I can start getting a decent nights sleep again?
About a month ago my wife and I started the painful process of separating. I don't think I've had two decent nights of sleep in a row since this all started. I decided to avoid alcohol until I was in a better place, so drinking until I pass out isn't an option (not that it would be a good one anyway). I also have two jobs so I routinely am up from 6 am until 10:30 pm.
About a month ago my wife and I started the painful process of separating. I don't think I've had two decent nights of sleep in a row since this all started. I decided to avoid alcohol until I was in a better place, so drinking until I pass out isn't an option (not that it would be a good one anyway). I also have two jobs so I routinely am up from 6 am until 10:30 pm.
Benadryl. Caveat: this is not a healthy thing to do, but it's what I do.
posted by amro at 8:24 AM on October 2, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by amro at 8:24 AM on October 2, 2010 [2 favorites]
Sorry about the separation. It's a tough transition and it's understandable that you'd be having some sleepless nights. I find reading a way to keep my mind off the things that tend to keep me up. At some point my eyelids will get so heavy that sleep comes on me pretty naturally.
posted by FlamingBore at 8:28 AM on October 2, 2010
posted by FlamingBore at 8:28 AM on October 2, 2010
Good on you for not drinking! You could always ask your gp for a couple of valium- stress + not sleeping- perfect time for a benzo.
posted by TheBones at 8:28 AM on October 2, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by TheBones at 8:28 AM on October 2, 2010 [1 favorite]
Nthing talking to your gp. When I was going through my divorce, I had the same problem and since I was raising three kids by myself and working full-time, I was kind of becoming a freakshow from the stress combined with lack of sleep.
My doctor gave me a talk about increasing aerobic exercise and making sure I was avoiding sugar and caffeine after noon (YMMV), eating something very carb-heavy about an hour before bedtime, and finally some Ambien so I could "reset" my sleeping patterns, after a week I didn't need the pill anymore.
But I will grab 2 Benadryl maybe every couple of months when I find I'm in the sleepless pattern; it does seem to help remind my brain to rest.
This will pass...good luck.
posted by dzaz at 8:38 AM on October 2, 2010
My doctor gave me a talk about increasing aerobic exercise and making sure I was avoiding sugar and caffeine after noon (YMMV), eating something very carb-heavy about an hour before bedtime, and finally some Ambien so I could "reset" my sleeping patterns, after a week I didn't need the pill anymore.
But I will grab 2 Benadryl maybe every couple of months when I find I'm in the sleepless pattern; it does seem to help remind my brain to rest.
This will pass...good luck.
posted by dzaz at 8:38 AM on October 2, 2010
Valerian. I have the pills, which I use when I travel - I only take two if I'm particularly wound. Two knock me out straight for eight hours, easy.
When I'm at home, I prefer tea. It tends to work a little faster for me.
posted by Medieval Maven at 8:40 AM on October 2, 2010
When I'm at home, I prefer tea. It tends to work a little faster for me.
posted by Medieval Maven at 8:40 AM on October 2, 2010
Yes, benedryl (diphenhydramine hcl). It's the only way I can sleep and turn off my head.
posted by Sassyfras at 8:54 AM on October 2, 2010
posted by Sassyfras at 8:54 AM on October 2, 2010
NAD but doxylamine succinate (Restavit here, Unisom in the US I think) knocks me out when I need it to. It can have a nasty hangover the first few times you use it.
Temazepam and zolpidem are much milder but can do the trick if I can get myself to a reasonably relaxed and sleepy point before taking them.
But, given that this might be a bit of a medium term problem, it might be wise look at non-drug solutions. Healthy diet. Exercise in the morning. No caffeine after mid-day. Shower early evening. Do something relaxing and calming after showering. If possible, reduce household light levels towards bed time. Use your bed only for sleep. If you can't get to sleep within an hour of going to bed, get up and do something relaxing and calming. Learn some relaxation or meditation routines to use while trying to get to sleep.
Do have a chat to your doctor about it. They can generally help on a range of fronts.
posted by Ahab at 9:00 AM on October 2, 2010
Temazepam and zolpidem are much milder but can do the trick if I can get myself to a reasonably relaxed and sleepy point before taking them.
But, given that this might be a bit of a medium term problem, it might be wise look at non-drug solutions. Healthy diet. Exercise in the morning. No caffeine after mid-day. Shower early evening. Do something relaxing and calming after showering. If possible, reduce household light levels towards bed time. Use your bed only for sleep. If you can't get to sleep within an hour of going to bed, get up and do something relaxing and calming. Learn some relaxation or meditation routines to use while trying to get to sleep.
Do have a chat to your doctor about it. They can generally help on a range of fronts.
posted by Ahab at 9:00 AM on October 2, 2010
I absolutely hate taking any pill or drug. The following works for me. Grab a good book and read while in bed. Stay away from the kind where the damsel is in distress and is going to get killed or whatever. Those kinds keep me up. Another alternative is a TV in the bedroom with a sleep function.
posted by JohnE at 9:00 AM on October 2, 2010
posted by JohnE at 9:00 AM on October 2, 2010
I tried an OTC product called Alteril recently, and it worked well for me. It's a combination of melatonin, tryptophan, and... hmm, something else i don't remember, but I took it two nights and got myself back into a "go to sleep now" rhythm.
posted by OneMonkeysUncle at 9:02 AM on October 2, 2010
posted by OneMonkeysUncle at 9:02 AM on October 2, 2010
Seconding exercise and melatonin - but go for 2-3 milligrams, not more. Avoid caffeine after the mornings, if you drink it. You could also try some relaxation techniques while you're lying in bed. I go through periods of insomnia and this combination has been a lifesaver.
posted by SugarAndSass at 9:06 AM on October 2, 2010
posted by SugarAndSass at 9:06 AM on October 2, 2010
Seconding sleepytime extra tea! It contains valerian, and tea is more calming and soothing than taking a pill. This stuff helped me when I couldn't sleep for about a month straight.
posted by KateHasQuestions at 9:25 AM on October 2, 2010
posted by KateHasQuestions at 9:25 AM on October 2, 2010
I'm prone to insomnia and I have also done the "sleep aid reset" thing dzaz mentions. It's very helpful. Generally my doctor gives me ambien or sonata, I observe good sleep hygiene and take it three nights in a row, and I'm back on track and sleeping at night again. Tylenol PM is also an option, OTC in the US.
Some sleep aids help you get to sleep, some keep you deep asleep, and some last 4ish hours (to help you get to sleep) and others last 8ish hours (stay asleep). The "stay asleep" formulations are more likely to give me that groggy, hung-over feeling. As someone with a great deal of insomnia experience, you may need to try a couple different options to find one that gets you to sleep but doesn't leave you "hungover." The doc may have samples.
(Cheers on not drinking yourself to sleep; besides, if you drink yourself to sleep, you'll probably find yourself wide awake in the middle of the night when the alcohol clears your system.)
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 9:26 AM on October 2, 2010
Some sleep aids help you get to sleep, some keep you deep asleep, and some last 4ish hours (to help you get to sleep) and others last 8ish hours (stay asleep). The "stay asleep" formulations are more likely to give me that groggy, hung-over feeling. As someone with a great deal of insomnia experience, you may need to try a couple different options to find one that gets you to sleep but doesn't leave you "hungover." The doc may have samples.
(Cheers on not drinking yourself to sleep; besides, if you drink yourself to sleep, you'll probably find yourself wide awake in the middle of the night when the alcohol clears your system.)
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 9:26 AM on October 2, 2010
This article (from popular blog Wise Bread) on resetting your sleep cycle may be helpful. It's definitely worth a try to see if it works.
I second Valerian (suggested above by Medieval Maven), a natural herbal supplement. I've heard about Melatonin, but I've not yet it.
posted by magnoliasouth at 9:27 AM on October 2, 2010
I second Valerian (suggested above by Medieval Maven), a natural herbal supplement. I've heard about Melatonin, but I've not yet it.
posted by magnoliasouth at 9:27 AM on October 2, 2010
A word of caution on the benadryl: I had a terrible time sleeping for the better part of a year, and that was pretty much all I used. I had to stop, because I built up quite a tolerance to it and eventually had to take way more than the right dosage to fall asleep. And when I did, it was a terrible, nearly worthless sleep -- not to mention that the next day was...trippy, is the best way I can describe it. My sense of touch was off-kilter somehow; my skin felt weird. This isn't all that surprising when you read about how desperate teenagers sometimes take a bunch of the stuff to trip, but it can throw you for a loop when you're already somewhat whacked out due to the insomnia.
I've heard great things about melatonin. Since I stopped using the benadryl (/active ingredient in benadryl, which is also in Tylenol Simply Sleep), exercise has really been my best cure.
posted by earlofrochester at 9:31 AM on October 2, 2010
I've heard great things about melatonin. Since I stopped using the benadryl (/active ingredient in benadryl, which is also in Tylenol Simply Sleep), exercise has really been my best cure.
posted by earlofrochester at 9:31 AM on October 2, 2010
Yes, talk to your doctor. I dealt with insomnia for years before I finally did that, and I'm still kicking myself for waiting so long.
posted by something something at 9:37 AM on October 2, 2010
posted by something something at 9:37 AM on October 2, 2010
Are you still sleeping in the bed you used to share with your wife? If so, rearrange the room, and buy new sheets and pillows. Change your space about.
posted by mollymayhem at 9:39 AM on October 2, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by mollymayhem at 9:39 AM on October 2, 2010 [1 favorite]
Lots and lots of exercise. I think we underestimated the amount of exercise our bodies are capable of in a day.
posted by sorrenn at 11:30 AM on October 2, 2010
posted by sorrenn at 11:30 AM on October 2, 2010
Seconding doxylamine succinate. It's available without prescription in the US, and you can find it as a generic as well, though the vast majority of the over the counter sleep aids are diphenydramine. Just read the labels.
I use it once in a while and I've never had a hangover from it as mentioned above. I find it takes at least an hour to fully kick in, so I'll usually take it a little before actually going to bed. A little common sense goes a long way. It's not a powerful dangerous drug, but use it when you really need sleep and can devote several hours to sleeping.
posted by jeff-o-matic at 11:32 AM on October 2, 2010
I use it once in a while and I've never had a hangover from it as mentioned above. I find it takes at least an hour to fully kick in, so I'll usually take it a little before actually going to bed. A little common sense goes a long way. It's not a powerful dangerous drug, but use it when you really need sleep and can devote several hours to sleeping.
posted by jeff-o-matic at 11:32 AM on October 2, 2010
No! No! benzos - all those ____pams! And no trazadone either. They tend to knock you out and give you the sense that you've slept, but both medications really fuck with your sleep cycles - especially REM. You "sleep" but you don't really rest. Alcohol is pretty bad in that respect too.
Ambien is said to be fairly clean side effect wise as are the other nonbenzo hypnotics. Ambien is habit forming (they all are) but it took me all of 2-3 days to go back to normal sleep once I stopped taking it. Not sure about the others.
I would say that the short lived risk of forming a habit to sleeping pills might be worth the rest you get. Yes, absolutely exercise. Try melatonin, valerian, warm milk. Try not to watch TV or do computer work an hour before bed. There's something about the kind of light screens emit which can wire you just when you need to chill.
Keep this in mind, right now you're grieving. Grief works on you 24 hours a day - everywhere - your body, your heart, your soul. Even in your sleep you are working. So you must find a way to rest.
Part of grieving is to mourn and accept an absence without it killing you. It's part of how you start slowly creating spaces in your life that do not include your wife. I like mollymayhem's idea - make your bed - figuratively or literally - one of those spaces if you haven't already. See if making it yours also makes it a more hospitable place to sleep.
I hope things get better for you.
posted by space_cookie at 11:50 AM on October 2, 2010 [1 favorite]
Ambien is said to be fairly clean side effect wise as are the other nonbenzo hypnotics. Ambien is habit forming (they all are) but it took me all of 2-3 days to go back to normal sleep once I stopped taking it. Not sure about the others.
I would say that the short lived risk of forming a habit to sleeping pills might be worth the rest you get. Yes, absolutely exercise. Try melatonin, valerian, warm milk. Try not to watch TV or do computer work an hour before bed. There's something about the kind of light screens emit which can wire you just when you need to chill.
Keep this in mind, right now you're grieving. Grief works on you 24 hours a day - everywhere - your body, your heart, your soul. Even in your sleep you are working. So you must find a way to rest.
Part of grieving is to mourn and accept an absence without it killing you. It's part of how you start slowly creating spaces in your life that do not include your wife. I like mollymayhem's idea - make your bed - figuratively or literally - one of those spaces if you haven't already. See if making it yours also makes it a more hospitable place to sleep.
I hope things get better for you.
posted by space_cookie at 11:50 AM on October 2, 2010 [1 favorite]
If you can't fall to sleep because your mind is racing I recommend listening to a radio show/audio book. They tend to push other thoughts out of your mind. Intelligence Squared US puts me to sleep for some reason.
posted by earlsofsandwich at 2:50 PM on October 2, 2010
posted by earlsofsandwich at 2:50 PM on October 2, 2010
I vote less drugs and more push-ups. If you're exercising regularly your system will automatically dial up the need for rest in order to recover. Plus exercise has been shown to be a powerful natural anti-depressant.
My position is that if nature gave us an option that also makes us stronger and healthier, then that has to be automatically better than anything the drug corporations have to offer.
Your body and your brain both need you to move in order for them to be healthy, and they will reward you for it. Henry Rollins says "Strong bodies think strong thoughts", and I agree.
Won't make what you're going through hurt less, but you'll have to deal with it none the less. And being stronger physically and mentally (as well as better rested) can only help the process.
My sympathies.
posted by Pirate-Bartender-Zombie-Monkey at 3:42 PM on October 2, 2010
My position is that if nature gave us an option that also makes us stronger and healthier, then that has to be automatically better than anything the drug corporations have to offer.
Your body and your brain both need you to move in order for them to be healthy, and they will reward you for it. Henry Rollins says "Strong bodies think strong thoughts", and I agree.
Won't make what you're going through hurt less, but you'll have to deal with it none the less. And being stronger physically and mentally (as well as better rested) can only help the process.
My sympathies.
posted by Pirate-Bartender-Zombie-Monkey at 3:42 PM on October 2, 2010
Nthing melatonin and exercise. It works with your body to get you back into your natural sleep rhythms. It takes a few days to work but it's mild and your body produces it naturally.
If that doesn't work, see your doctor.
posted by lockstitch at 7:39 PM on October 2, 2010
If that doesn't work, see your doctor.
posted by lockstitch at 7:39 PM on October 2, 2010
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posted by sunshinesky at 8:21 AM on October 2, 2010