How to write a tactful email
July 25, 2010 7:43 AM Subscribe
Received a scholarship and the department head is requesting to know the amount. I don't want to tell him. How do I handle this gracefully?
I recently received a scholarship of $5,000. Although I'm a 3rd year, due to transferring reasons and lack of information, this was the first scholarship I ever applied for.
When I found out, I wrote to the professors who helped me write letters of recc and told them the good news. One of those professors happens to be the head of my department (our department is very, very small). After finding out, he asked me how much the scholarship amount was. I brushed off the email because I didn't really want to say and I figured since he's so busy he'd forget as well.
Later I accidentally bumped into him and he brought it up again. I said I didn't know so he told me to find out and email him. As far as he knows it's anywhere between $0 and $5,000. I didn't email him.
He just wrote me again via email inquiring about the amount so I don't think I can dodge the question any longer. But I really don't want to tell him. Here's why:
1) He wants to email EVERYONE in the department, students and faculty alike to let them know that I received a scholarship and how much the scholarship was for. I am not down with that because I feel like it's my personal business. If I want to let someone know, I will tell them myself. As a private person, I feel like that is my right. Also, I know some of my friends/classmates applied for the same scholarship and given that it's such a tiny dept I don't want anyone to feel bad or for anyone to treat me differently given that I was the one awarded it (and given the history of the personalities of my classmates, they will take it personally).
2) I am poor. Like, I subsist on rice-and-beans kind of poor. So I've been applying to scholarships lately and one of them has been a scholarship offered exclusively in the department. I feel that I am very qualified for this scholarship but am afraid that if the amount of money I was awarded was disclosed, I would no longer be considered for the departmental scholarship. And $5,000 is a lot but it only covers one semester's tuition and doesn't cover any of the expensive materials I have to buy for my major.
So what do you think? I don't want to lie and say I only received $600 but at the same time I really don't want this broadcasted. I have to respond via email to him and if I were to express discomfort of me disclosing the amount to him I have no idea how to word it.
I recently received a scholarship of $5,000. Although I'm a 3rd year, due to transferring reasons and lack of information, this was the first scholarship I ever applied for.
When I found out, I wrote to the professors who helped me write letters of recc and told them the good news. One of those professors happens to be the head of my department (our department is very, very small). After finding out, he asked me how much the scholarship amount was. I brushed off the email because I didn't really want to say and I figured since he's so busy he'd forget as well.
Later I accidentally bumped into him and he brought it up again. I said I didn't know so he told me to find out and email him. As far as he knows it's anywhere between $0 and $5,000. I didn't email him.
He just wrote me again via email inquiring about the amount so I don't think I can dodge the question any longer. But I really don't want to tell him. Here's why:
1) He wants to email EVERYONE in the department, students and faculty alike to let them know that I received a scholarship and how much the scholarship was for. I am not down with that because I feel like it's my personal business. If I want to let someone know, I will tell them myself. As a private person, I feel like that is my right. Also, I know some of my friends/classmates applied for the same scholarship and given that it's such a tiny dept I don't want anyone to feel bad or for anyone to treat me differently given that I was the one awarded it (and given the history of the personalities of my classmates, they will take it personally).
2) I am poor. Like, I subsist on rice-and-beans kind of poor. So I've been applying to scholarships lately and one of them has been a scholarship offered exclusively in the department. I feel that I am very qualified for this scholarship but am afraid that if the amount of money I was awarded was disclosed, I would no longer be considered for the departmental scholarship. And $5,000 is a lot but it only covers one semester's tuition and doesn't cover any of the expensive materials I have to buy for my major.
So what do you think? I don't want to lie and say I only received $600 but at the same time I really don't want this broadcasted. I have to respond via email to him and if I were to express discomfort of me disclosing the amount to him I have no idea how to word it.
While I think your concerns are valid, you have much more to lose if you burn your bridges by not telling him. This is obviously a big deal to the chair if he has asked you about it three times.
I see your concern as far as not getting the other scholarship, but if you don't play ball here, I would kiss any chances of getting it goodbye. The department is going to want to give their scholarship to someone that will make them look good. A student who refuses any publicity is the opposite.
posted by grouse at 7:54 AM on July 25, 2010 [5 favorites]
I see your concern as far as not getting the other scholarship, but if you don't play ball here, I would kiss any chances of getting it goodbye. The department is going to want to give their scholarship to someone that will make them look good. A student who refuses any publicity is the opposite.
posted by grouse at 7:54 AM on July 25, 2010 [5 favorites]
Don't lie! Maybe there is a way to mention your practical concerns yo this professor. It seems like you are largely worried about not getting the departmental scholarship because you just got this one. In fact, he knows already, so if it's going to compromise your position in that regard, it probably already has. In my experience, it shouldn't. People tend to pile up such awards because they are seen as successful and have already been judged a good risk. But in any case, don't suggest that you are worried about him blabbing to everyone. Just maybe find a way to ask if he thinks you still have a shot at the other scholarship.
As far as your classmates go, knowing the amount isn't going to change anything, I don't think.
Congratulations, by the way!
posted by BibiRose at 7:57 AM on July 25, 2010 [1 favorite]
As far as your classmates go, knowing the amount isn't going to change anything, I don't think.
Congratulations, by the way!
posted by BibiRose at 7:57 AM on July 25, 2010 [1 favorite]
I can see your point of view. From the department head's point of view, though, your winning a scholarship is not only your personal triumph, it's also a feather in the cap of your teachers and the department. It's good publicity for the department to announce the award, and it might in fact help the department get additional resources. Unless you could have gotten the scholarship without the department's help, then it's not strictly your personal business.
Besides, whoever awarded the scholarship will probably publish a list of recipients. Word will get out somehow, even if it's not from you.
And if you're applying for an internal scholarship, the scholarship committee might want to know what other scholarships you have received and the amounts. They have a right to ask for that information and to refuse to consider you for the scholarship if you won't disclose it. If their scholarship is based on need, then they would have to take into account your resources, including the scholarship you've received.
If you really want to keep the amount private, my advice would be to talk to the department head (in person, not by email), explain that you are uncomfortable with a public announcement of the amount of the scholarship, and see whether you can reach a compromise. But I think it's pointless to try to evade the issue. And like it or not, the amount of scholarship and other academic awards is a marker of prestige in the academic world. If your friends can't swallow their disappointment and help you celebrate your success, then they're not great friends.
posted by brianogilvie at 8:01 AM on July 25, 2010 [4 favorites]
Besides, whoever awarded the scholarship will probably publish a list of recipients. Word will get out somehow, even if it's not from you.
And if you're applying for an internal scholarship, the scholarship committee might want to know what other scholarships you have received and the amounts. They have a right to ask for that information and to refuse to consider you for the scholarship if you won't disclose it. If their scholarship is based on need, then they would have to take into account your resources, including the scholarship you've received.
If you really want to keep the amount private, my advice would be to talk to the department head (in person, not by email), explain that you are uncomfortable with a public announcement of the amount of the scholarship, and see whether you can reach a compromise. But I think it's pointless to try to evade the issue. And like it or not, the amount of scholarship and other academic awards is a marker of prestige in the academic world. If your friends can't swallow their disappointment and help you celebrate your success, then they're not great friends.
posted by brianogilvie at 8:01 AM on July 25, 2010 [4 favorites]
Tell the department head already.
1. It's part of his job to oversee scholarships, cultivate donors, and keep track of everything.
2. You need to be in his good graces.
3. It's not up to you about the other scholarship.
This is not a purely personal matter. Scholarships are a pageantry in which you are only a bit player. To excel in academics you need to be politically astute.
posted by metaseeker at 8:02 AM on July 25, 2010 [14 favorites]
1. It's part of his job to oversee scholarships, cultivate donors, and keep track of everything.
2. You need to be in his good graces.
3. It's not up to you about the other scholarship.
This is not a purely personal matter. Scholarships are a pageantry in which you are only a bit player. To excel in academics you need to be politically astute.
posted by metaseeker at 8:02 AM on July 25, 2010 [14 favorites]
You got that scholarship in part because your faculty recommenders built skills fundraising for their students in the past. The single most important datum that helps them become better fundraisers is the monetary outcome of their fundraising.
You wouldn't have won this scholarship without skilled faculty support, built in cooperation with generations of students before you. Be cooperative. Tell them all about the scholarship they helped get for you.
posted by gum at 8:24 AM on July 25, 2010 [2 favorites]
You wouldn't have won this scholarship without skilled faculty support, built in cooperation with generations of students before you. Be cooperative. Tell them all about the scholarship they helped get for you.
posted by gum at 8:24 AM on July 25, 2010 [2 favorites]
1) You probably have to disclose any other awards when you apply for this internal scholarship. They have a right to know this when deciding.
2) I think you might be being too secretive. Nobody is going to treat you differently or ask you for anything (maybe other than tutoring since you're clearly a good student). I don't know the cost of your school, but at many, $5,000 is an average scholarship. You may have classmates who have also received such scholarships, but just didn't tell a professor, and didn't have the head take interest. Be glad that the head wants to recognize you. It is unclear whether you're grad student or undergrad, but this could look good for you in your future plans in either event.
posted by ishotjr at 8:46 AM on July 25, 2010
2) I think you might be being too secretive. Nobody is going to treat you differently or ask you for anything (maybe other than tutoring since you're clearly a good student). I don't know the cost of your school, but at many, $5,000 is an average scholarship. You may have classmates who have also received such scholarships, but just didn't tell a professor, and didn't have the head take interest. Be glad that the head wants to recognize you. It is unclear whether you're grad student or undergrad, but this could look good for you in your future plans in either event.
posted by ishotjr at 8:46 AM on July 25, 2010
If you are on a Ph.D track and have intentions of pursuing an academic career, you will have to get used to these types of e-mails being sent out.
In my particular school, e-mails are regularly sent out regarding faculty awards, publications, and receipts of grants. Amounts of any prizes are included along with the name of the award or accolade, the organization responsible for it, and the description of the accolade as well as how many are awarded each year and traditionally to whom. It is so common it may as well as be standard procedure at most institutions. I imagine it's even more standard are doctorate awarding institutions precisely because the success of the students is considered success of the university.
Being a private person is nice and all, but I imagine the award itself is public. It's entirely possible the organization who granted the award would post your name as an award recipient as well as your university's name and the prize amount would be included. Maybe they won't, but many such award giving programs do. The information you are wishing to keep private may already be public.
As for not wanting the other students to "feel bad" --- unfortunately, that's just a part of competition among colleagues. If you gain a tenure track professor position the year you complete your degree, but the other students also completing their degree in the same year applied for the same position and didn't get it, would you "feel bad" in the same way? We had two people from the same department at the same school interview for a faculty position. One of those people was given an accepted an offer of employment. The other was not. I assure you the person who was given the job wasn't terribly upset that the other person didn't get it. The scholarship you received is similar to this. Only one person can get it. It was you. I wouldn't crow too loudly of your department mates, but there's nothing wrong with saying, "Yeah. I received this scholarship," either.
posted by zizzle at 9:07 AM on July 25, 2010 [3 favorites]
In my particular school, e-mails are regularly sent out regarding faculty awards, publications, and receipts of grants. Amounts of any prizes are included along with the name of the award or accolade, the organization responsible for it, and the description of the accolade as well as how many are awarded each year and traditionally to whom. It is so common it may as well as be standard procedure at most institutions. I imagine it's even more standard are doctorate awarding institutions precisely because the success of the students is considered success of the university.
Being a private person is nice and all, but I imagine the award itself is public. It's entirely possible the organization who granted the award would post your name as an award recipient as well as your university's name and the prize amount would be included. Maybe they won't, but many such award giving programs do. The information you are wishing to keep private may already be public.
As for not wanting the other students to "feel bad" --- unfortunately, that's just a part of competition among colleagues. If you gain a tenure track professor position the year you complete your degree, but the other students also completing their degree in the same year applied for the same position and didn't get it, would you "feel bad" in the same way? We had two people from the same department at the same school interview for a faculty position. One of those people was given an accepted an offer of employment. The other was not. I assure you the person who was given the job wasn't terribly upset that the other person didn't get it. The scholarship you received is similar to this. Only one person can get it. It was you. I wouldn't crow too loudly of your department mates, but there's nothing wrong with saying, "Yeah. I received this scholarship," either.
posted by zizzle at 9:07 AM on July 25, 2010 [3 favorites]
I feel that I am very qualified for this scholarship but am afraid that if the amount of money I was awarded was disclosed, I would no longer be considered for the departmental scholarship.
You know who might be able to answer that uncertainty? Your department head.
Stop being squirrely and immature, and start working on communicating like a professional grown-up person.
Talk to the department head, in person, about both of your concerns.
posted by Squeak Attack at 9:35 AM on July 25, 2010
You know who might be able to answer that uncertainty? Your department head.
Stop being squirrely and immature, and start working on communicating like a professional grown-up person.
Talk to the department head, in person, about both of your concerns.
posted by Squeak Attack at 9:35 AM on July 25, 2010
So I've been applying to scholarships lately and one of them has been a scholarship offered exclusively in the department.
This may be why he keeps asking. In order to be considered for many scholarships, the award is contingent on what aid you have received elsewhere. It's pretty typical to ask for this information. The reason being, aid is often offered based on need, and one can only assess need based on the total award from all sources.
posted by SpacemanStix at 9:37 AM on July 25, 2010 [1 favorite]
This may be why he keeps asking. In order to be considered for many scholarships, the award is contingent on what aid you have received elsewhere. It's pretty typical to ask for this information. The reason being, aid is often offered based on need, and one can only assess need based on the total award from all sources.
posted by SpacemanStix at 9:37 AM on July 25, 2010 [1 favorite]
I feel that I am very qualified for this scholarship but am afraid that if the amount of money I was awarded was disclosed, I would no longer be considered for the departmental scholarship.
If this is true, and you don't tell the department about the scholarship, and subsequently get it, you will have received it on false premises. That would be enough to burn your bridges completely in the department, conceivably up to the point of getting kicked out of the major, if anyone finds out. Hiding your outside aid doesn't change the issue of whether you meet the requirements to be awarded a particular scholarship, and would be extremely dishonest. But I doubt that $5000 is enough to disqualify you from a scholarship, I think department-internal scholarships tend to be merit-based (only the faculty involved could determine this, though.)
You are within your rights to request that the chair not email people about it. But I do think that perhaps you should consider the possibility that you are blowing it out of proportion. I understand that $5000 is a lot to you, and you are justifiably proud of it, and it will look great on your cv, but in the scale of academic scholarships it is fairly moderate, and I don't think your peers will hate you for taking it away from them.
posted by advil at 9:56 AM on July 25, 2010 [1 favorite]
If this is true, and you don't tell the department about the scholarship, and subsequently get it, you will have received it on false premises. That would be enough to burn your bridges completely in the department, conceivably up to the point of getting kicked out of the major, if anyone finds out. Hiding your outside aid doesn't change the issue of whether you meet the requirements to be awarded a particular scholarship, and would be extremely dishonest. But I doubt that $5000 is enough to disqualify you from a scholarship, I think department-internal scholarships tend to be merit-based (only the faculty involved could determine this, though.)
You are within your rights to request that the chair not email people about it. But I do think that perhaps you should consider the possibility that you are blowing it out of proportion. I understand that $5000 is a lot to you, and you are justifiably proud of it, and it will look great on your cv, but in the scale of academic scholarships it is fairly moderate, and I don't think your peers will hate you for taking it away from them.
posted by advil at 9:56 AM on July 25, 2010 [1 favorite]
When you talk to him, you have an opportunity to build your relationship by talking about your feelings and circumstances. It's embarrassing, but sharing your very embarrassment, as well as your worries about your classmates and your despair at your poverty, is a way to let him in and make the relationship that little bit more solid.
posted by amtho at 9:59 AM on July 25, 2010
posted by amtho at 9:59 AM on July 25, 2010
I would have a private conversation with the professor and honestly lay out your situation. This has to have happened to someone before you that the proff will know about, and this way you can work out a way to give him bragging rights (that they often need for department funding in general) that doesn't exclude you from other award considerations.
posted by medea42 at 10:47 AM on July 25, 2010
posted by medea42 at 10:47 AM on July 25, 2010
Although I'm a 3rd year, due to transferring reasons and lack of information, this was the first scholarship I ever applied for.
It would be very much worth your while to have a sit-down with the department head (or other faculty members) to see what else is out there for you. Depending on the scholarship you hold, it may bump you up the list of candidates for other awards. Any department worth its salt is going to take notice of promising students and try to promote the hell out of them, and if you're considering an academic career (or work in a related field) you really want to start developing your networking skills. This isn't the checkered flag, it's the starting gun, and you've hit the ground running.
What will the other students think? They may be a little jealous, but (unless they're total narcissistic sociopaths) they'll realize you're getting awards because you're earned them. And I say this as someone who got passed up for plenty of awards during my (all-too-lengthy) undergraduate and graduate career.
posted by hangashore at 10:49 AM on July 25, 2010
It would be very much worth your while to have a sit-down with the department head (or other faculty members) to see what else is out there for you. Depending on the scholarship you hold, it may bump you up the list of candidates for other awards. Any department worth its salt is going to take notice of promising students and try to promote the hell out of them, and if you're considering an academic career (or work in a related field) you really want to start developing your networking skills. This isn't the checkered flag, it's the starting gun, and you've hit the ground running.
What will the other students think? They may be a little jealous, but (unless they're total narcissistic sociopaths) they'll realize you're getting awards because you're earned them. And I say this as someone who got passed up for plenty of awards during my (all-too-lengthy) undergraduate and graduate career.
posted by hangashore at 10:49 AM on July 25, 2010
Looks like I missed this:
(and given the history of the personalities of my classmates, they will take it personally)
Well, they'll just have to deal with it. Education's not just what you learn from books and classes. if they can't experience (and learn from) disappointments and setbacks at this stage of their careers, it won't be any easier the further they go.
posted by hangashore at 11:07 AM on July 25, 2010
(and given the history of the personalities of my classmates, they will take it personally)
Well, they'll just have to deal with it. Education's not just what you learn from books and classes. if they can't experience (and learn from) disappointments and setbacks at this stage of their careers, it won't be any easier the further they go.
posted by hangashore at 11:07 AM on July 25, 2010
Tell him. Academia, as I'm sure you know, is highly political. You don't want to be on the department chair's bad side. He just wants to brag about the department and you.
+1 to seeing what other grants/scholarships you might be able to receive. Congrats!!!
posted by WhiteWhale at 12:09 PM on July 25, 2010
+1 to seeing what other grants/scholarships you might be able to receive. Congrats!!!
posted by WhiteWhale at 12:09 PM on July 25, 2010
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