Return a Jerk at Work's Phone Message With an Email
April 16, 2010 8:30 AM Subscribe
How Do I Return a Jerk at Work's Phone Message With an Email w/o Provoking Them?
I have to work with extreme jerks. Phone calls are unpleasant as there's always unhinged hostility involved. I'd like to keep communication to email to maintain my sanity (until I can get out of this situation), but don't want to create more friction than there already is.
Would appreciate any suggestions for smooth ways of accomplishing this..
I have to work with extreme jerks. Phone calls are unpleasant as there's always unhinged hostility involved. I'd like to keep communication to email to maintain my sanity (until I can get out of this situation), but don't want to create more friction than there already is.
Would appreciate any suggestions for smooth ways of accomplishing this..
Can't tell you what to do because you're making a judgment about your coworkers. They may not be jerks, but they probably _are_ engaged in jerk-ish behavior. What is that behavior? Knowing that is going to largely determine how to address it.
posted by bfranklin at 8:37 AM on April 16, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by bfranklin at 8:37 AM on April 16, 2010 [1 favorite]
Best answer: but haven't had the time for a phone conversation
I'd avoid saying that; it'll put them on the defensive (if they are jerks) thinking "oh, Mr. Bigshot doesn't have time for me."
I think Greg Nog has it exactly right—succinct, matter of fact, and to the point.
posted by The Michael The at 8:48 AM on April 16, 2010 [3 favorites]
I'd avoid saying that; it'll put them on the defensive (if they are jerks) thinking "oh, Mr. Bigshot doesn't have time for me."
I think Greg Nog has it exactly right—succinct, matter of fact, and to the point.
posted by The Michael The at 8:48 AM on April 16, 2010 [3 favorites]
I second the previous email templates, just refer to the voicemail and proceed with the discussion over email.
However, keep in mind that some people see an insistence on responding only via email as its own brand of jerkish behavior. If you are responsible for customer support or training (or other areas where one-to-one voice contact can be extremely helpful), I highly recommend making sure you're not aggravating the situation by only using email. If that's not an issue, then stick to your guns to maintain the method of communication that reduces the possibility of jerkishness and documents anything truly inappropriate.
If you're responsive and get the job done, folks can be trained to contact you by your preferred method.
posted by annaramma at 8:49 AM on April 16, 2010
However, keep in mind that some people see an insistence on responding only via email as its own brand of jerkish behavior. If you are responsible for customer support or training (or other areas where one-to-one voice contact can be extremely helpful), I highly recommend making sure you're not aggravating the situation by only using email. If that's not an issue, then stick to your guns to maintain the method of communication that reduces the possibility of jerkishness and documents anything truly inappropriate.
If you're responsive and get the job done, folks can be trained to contact you by your preferred method.
posted by annaramma at 8:49 AM on April 16, 2010
Also, you should put something like "for a faster response, please email me in the future" on your phone message. I like to be a little passive aggressive here, so my message says:
"Hello this is x, sorry I missed your call I am either on another call or away from the office at this time. For a faster response in the future, please send me an email. My email address is abcdefg@xyz.com, again that's a b c d e f g @ x y z "as is zebra".com.
The extraordinarily long message inconveniences people who would inconvenience me. Really cuts down on the annoying telephone calls.
posted by 2bucksplus at 8:51 AM on April 16, 2010 [9 favorites]
"Hello this is x, sorry I missed your call I am either on another call or away from the office at this time. For a faster response in the future, please send me an email. My email address is abcdefg@xyz.com, again that's a b c d e f g @ x y z "as is zebra".com.
The extraordinarily long message inconveniences people who would inconvenience me. Really cuts down on the annoying telephone calls.
posted by 2bucksplus at 8:51 AM on April 16, 2010 [9 favorites]
Go talk to them in person. Voicemails, e-mails and even phone calls, allow you to misinterpret the other person's tone.
posted by IanMorr at 9:02 AM on April 16, 2010
posted by IanMorr at 9:02 AM on April 16, 2010
Without specific examples, it is hard to recommend an approach. What is the nature of these phone calls?
posted by jasondigitized at 9:10 AM on April 16, 2010
posted by jasondigitized at 9:10 AM on April 16, 2010
Keep the message on topic, leaving out justifications that might come off as passive-aggressive or retaliatory. If there are questions on your actions or your speed of replies/activities, make the descriptions of your actions as short as possible.
If you're concerned about getting more involved with jerkish some back-and-forth chatter, write your thoughts out, work on something else or get some tea or coffee, then come back and see if it's all necessary language. Ideally, you could write something that contains no subtext or even the chance for it could be conveyed as anything but straight facts.
By emailing the other people, you have a record of what was and wasn't said, should you wish to get management involved. Also, you're in control of how long you spend in the conversation, where a phone message or a face-to-face conversation might drag on, and if you leave before the person is done talking (even if they're just repeating themselves or getting off-topic), it could cause more trouble.
posted by filthy light thief at 9:12 AM on April 16, 2010
If you're concerned about getting more involved with jerkish some back-and-forth chatter, write your thoughts out, work on something else or get some tea or coffee, then come back and see if it's all necessary language. Ideally, you could write something that contains no subtext or even the chance for it could be conveyed as anything but straight facts.
By emailing the other people, you have a record of what was and wasn't said, should you wish to get management involved. Also, you're in control of how long you spend in the conversation, where a phone message or a face-to-face conversation might drag on, and if you leave before the person is done talking (even if they're just repeating themselves or getting off-topic), it could cause more trouble.
posted by filthy light thief at 9:12 AM on April 16, 2010
Believe it or not, some people who behave in jerkish behavior are totally aware of it. And though they aren't ashamed by it, they realize that it could come back to bit them. That's why they choose phone calls rather than email -- which can be held as an example Moving it to email with the templates used makes them accountable and often cools their jets.
Sometimes moving to face-to-face does the same thing; it's amazing how many folks I deal with during requirements gathering meetings or document reviews -- on both the IT and business side -- that are so hard to deal with during conference calls and such pussycats when I'm in the same room with them. I think this is equal parts people just being more prone to politeness in person and my misinterpreting phone behavior/taking it too personal.
Just my 2 cents, jerky.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 9:28 AM on April 16, 2010
Sometimes moving to face-to-face does the same thing; it's amazing how many folks I deal with during requirements gathering meetings or document reviews -- on both the IT and business side -- that are so hard to deal with during conference calls and such pussycats when I'm in the same room with them. I think this is equal parts people just being more prone to politeness in person and my misinterpreting phone behavior/taking it too personal.
Just my 2 cents, jerky.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 9:28 AM on April 16, 2010
Fake doctor's note re: vocal-cord nodules, instructions to avoid speaking?
posted by nicwolff at 12:01 PM on April 16, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by nicwolff at 12:01 PM on April 16, 2010 [1 favorite]
I often respond to messages with emails (AND explanations about why I'm not calling ... whoops?). I think Greg Nog's email is good.
Sending them an attachment would be a great excuse for switching to email. If you want to really passively avoid conflict, you could also start arriving at 8 am and see how many phone calls you can "return" before most people will be at their desks. "Hi Jerk, just returning your call about the new Finance Rule. It looks like I missed you. Maybe I'll go ahead and send you the new policy over email, and if you have any questions, email is probably the best way to get in touch with me over the next few days."
posted by salvia at 2:09 PM on April 16, 2010 [1 favorite]
Sending them an attachment would be a great excuse for switching to email. If you want to really passively avoid conflict, you could also start arriving at 8 am and see how many phone calls you can "return" before most people will be at their desks. "Hi Jerk, just returning your call about the new Finance Rule. It looks like I missed you. Maybe I'll go ahead and send you the new policy over email, and if you have any questions, email is probably the best way to get in touch with me over the next few days."
posted by salvia at 2:09 PM on April 16, 2010 [1 favorite]
I don't understand why returning phone messages would emails would cause friction. Is there some sort of history with these specific coworkers that you're not mentioning? I feel like it's far more annoying to respond to an email with a phone call than vice-versa.
They've already left you a voice-mail, so the conversation has by default become a-synchronous. Maybe you hate talking on the phone and it causes you massive anxiety. Maybe you have a sore throat. Maybe you had to work late and got around to their message at a really awkward time. (One of the reasons I adore email is because I can process them in batches at 3 AM, or whenever it's easiest for me, knowing that they'll still be ready for the person to read in time for when they needed my response.)
Unless it's a really urgent issue that needs to be ironed out right away, for them to get offended by an email that says "Hey, I got your message, this is the info you needed" would be quite a stretch.
posted by Phire at 4:01 PM on April 18, 2010
They've already left you a voice-mail, so the conversation has by default become a-synchronous. Maybe you hate talking on the phone and it causes you massive anxiety. Maybe you have a sore throat. Maybe you had to work late and got around to their message at a really awkward time. (One of the reasons I adore email is because I can process them in batches at 3 AM, or whenever it's easiest for me, knowing that they'll still be ready for the person to read in time for when they needed my response.)
Unless it's a really urgent issue that needs to be ironed out right away, for them to get offended by an email that says "Hey, I got your message, this is the info you needed" would be quite a stretch.
posted by Phire at 4:01 PM on April 18, 2010
Response by poster: Thanks everyone for suggestions.
Problem I'm still having is that [jerk] doesn't say what they want in phone message--I tried emailing back and get a short email in reply saying "Call Me." Looks like I'm stuck...
posted by Jon44 at 2:01 PM on April 24, 2010
Problem I'm still having is that [jerk] doesn't say what they want in phone message--I tried emailing back and get a short email in reply saying "Call Me." Looks like I'm stuck...
posted by Jon44 at 2:01 PM on April 24, 2010
"Sorry, but my schedule is going to make it hard to call back over the next few days. Shall we get as far as we can by email? If not, we could schedule some time for a phone call next week."
"I've been having some trouble with phone calls lately. Why don't we try to get as far as we can by email?"
Is there anyone else you could pull in? "Sure. What did you want to discuss? I like to have those materials available?" Then when he replies, say, "If you want to discuss Blah, I'd like to include Janet, too. When should we call you?"
posted by salvia at 8:55 PM on April 24, 2010 [1 favorite]
"I've been having some trouble with phone calls lately. Why don't we try to get as far as we can by email?"
Is there anyone else you could pull in? "Sure. What did you want to discuss? I like to have those materials available?" Then when he replies, say, "If you want to discuss Blah, I'd like to include Janet, too. When should we call you?"
posted by salvia at 8:55 PM on April 24, 2010 [1 favorite]
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by xingcat at 8:36 AM on April 16, 2010