What can my lil bro DO?
February 13, 2010 9:03 PM Subscribe
How can my 10 year old brother occupy himself?
Aaargh, just spent 20 minutes typing out this question and then accidentally refreshed. Oh well, such is life.
I'd like to preface this by saying that my question can probably be answered by a half dozen other previously posted, but my searching skills are failing me here. Links appreciated.
My brother is 10, and generally pretty sweet, but he canNOT occupy himself. With my dad and/or brother, he's fine. (Well, the two boys can end up fighting or getting hurt or whatever, but it's okay 90% of the time.)
He LOVES to call up friends and invite them over. He has a few within walking distance, a huge rarity for us (we all attended magnet schools from an early age and made good friends that live far, far away.) My mother lets him call them, to a reasonable degree. He seems to have no filter about 'too much' playing with someone else, and my mom limits him a bit so the other parents don't get too annoyed (he plays maybe an average of two hours a day with one of his best friends).
He just can't occupy himself when he's alone. He's pretty involved, does chess club, math club, cub scouts, many sports (one select and year round), and has pretty heavy homework for a ten year old. Still, he seems to have a lot of free time, and during that, he has no skills in finding things to do.
He's the total opposite from my other brother. He's 13 now and has always been able to occupy himself. He makes stupid videos and fake radio shows, stop motion videos with hot wheels cars or trains, etc.
We, as kids, are pretty inclined to becoming screen time addicted. My parents have tried to limit screen time heavily. (No, reducing the limits doesn't work. They gave up on me and computers, and it's really an issue for me.) We don't watch tv period as a family (olympics being an exception), and movies and xbox are considered a thing we do with other people and not something we do by ourselves. He doesn't have a DS or gameboy as many of his friends do, and we'd rather keep it that way. I've seen the kids I babysit, and they are able to stop and deal with screen time and limits much easier than we are, so that's probably for the best.
He reads a lot. A lot a lot. Doesn't need any encouragement to read. He reads a ton of comics (like mad magazine archives and the far side and stuff, not particularly interested in superheroes or drawing), but my mother's trying to push him toward other stuff with varying success.
He comes to me frequently whining that he's bored. Mostly, he just wants me to give him time on my phone or computer. I do, sporadically, but my experience is that too much quickly creates a reliance an an expectation. We also watch movies together, in 10-20 minute snippets, which has become kind of a bonding thing. What else can I suggest to him to do? Bribes are very, very effective with him, but I kind of abused that last summer so I'm forcing myself to cut down. (for instance, he'll run a mile for 5 minutes of xbox time or go away for an hour for a starburst. Yay irresponsible older sister.) What other activities can I suggest to him? Preferably hobbies rather than something he can do once and then abandon.
He seems to have a fickle interest in scientific stuff, especially as it applies to the real world. LOVES sports, does the baseball card/stat thing and can tell you so much about any team of any sport. It doesn't help that my dad works at a major sports-related brand that is a subsidiary of an empire most affiliate with a large eared cartoon rodent and lets him monitor sports stuff constantly with my dad's phone/computer/whatever. Suggestions?
Reading this, it sounds like he's busy and should have very little free time. I assure you, this is not the case. Unfortunately. He has a lot going on but still finds time to be bored.
(how is it that I can write SO MUCH for such a simple question?)
Aaargh, just spent 20 minutes typing out this question and then accidentally refreshed. Oh well, such is life.
I'd like to preface this by saying that my question can probably be answered by a half dozen other previously posted, but my searching skills are failing me here. Links appreciated.
My brother is 10, and generally pretty sweet, but he canNOT occupy himself. With my dad and/or brother, he's fine. (Well, the two boys can end up fighting or getting hurt or whatever, but it's okay 90% of the time.)
He LOVES to call up friends and invite them over. He has a few within walking distance, a huge rarity for us (we all attended magnet schools from an early age and made good friends that live far, far away.) My mother lets him call them, to a reasonable degree. He seems to have no filter about 'too much' playing with someone else, and my mom limits him a bit so the other parents don't get too annoyed (he plays maybe an average of two hours a day with one of his best friends).
He just can't occupy himself when he's alone. He's pretty involved, does chess club, math club, cub scouts, many sports (one select and year round), and has pretty heavy homework for a ten year old. Still, he seems to have a lot of free time, and during that, he has no skills in finding things to do.
He's the total opposite from my other brother. He's 13 now and has always been able to occupy himself. He makes stupid videos and fake radio shows, stop motion videos with hot wheels cars or trains, etc.
We, as kids, are pretty inclined to becoming screen time addicted. My parents have tried to limit screen time heavily. (No, reducing the limits doesn't work. They gave up on me and computers, and it's really an issue for me.) We don't watch tv period as a family (olympics being an exception), and movies and xbox are considered a thing we do with other people and not something we do by ourselves. He doesn't have a DS or gameboy as many of his friends do, and we'd rather keep it that way. I've seen the kids I babysit, and they are able to stop and deal with screen time and limits much easier than we are, so that's probably for the best.
He reads a lot. A lot a lot. Doesn't need any encouragement to read. He reads a ton of comics (like mad magazine archives and the far side and stuff, not particularly interested in superheroes or drawing), but my mother's trying to push him toward other stuff with varying success.
He comes to me frequently whining that he's bored. Mostly, he just wants me to give him time on my phone or computer. I do, sporadically, but my experience is that too much quickly creates a reliance an an expectation. We also watch movies together, in 10-20 minute snippets, which has become kind of a bonding thing. What else can I suggest to him to do? Bribes are very, very effective with him, but I kind of abused that last summer so I'm forcing myself to cut down. (for instance, he'll run a mile for 5 minutes of xbox time or go away for an hour for a starburst. Yay irresponsible older sister.) What other activities can I suggest to him? Preferably hobbies rather than something he can do once and then abandon.
He seems to have a fickle interest in scientific stuff, especially as it applies to the real world. LOVES sports, does the baseball card/stat thing and can tell you so much about any team of any sport. It doesn't help that my dad works at a major sports-related brand that is a subsidiary of an empire most affiliate with a large eared cartoon rodent and lets him monitor sports stuff constantly with my dad's phone/computer/whatever. Suggestions?
Reading this, it sounds like he's busy and should have very little free time. I assure you, this is not the case. Unfortunately. He has a lot going on but still finds time to be bored.
(how is it that I can write SO MUCH for such a simple question?)
From my experience 10-year old boys are like this. Does he like art? Model building? I was going to suggest a Nintendo DS, that would keep him busy, but you say that is a no go. My 10-year old nephew is a sweet annoying guy. He sounds a lot like your brother. He enjoys painting miniature models, building elaborate Lego models (you can buy bags of Lego blocks on line), and drawing/painting. But he loves mostly his Nintendo DS, Wii, and World of Warcraft.
posted by fifilaru at 9:49 PM on February 13, 2010
posted by fifilaru at 9:49 PM on February 13, 2010
Get off my lawn, yadda yadda, but at that age you couldn't get my nose out of a book. Even on the can, I'd be reading something. Does he not read? Can you buy him some books, or take him with you to the bookstore to buy his own?
Hardy Boys? The Oz Books or the John Carter of Mars series? Maybe a Choose Your Own Adventure book? Sherlock Holmes? Heinlein juveniles?
posted by orthogonality at 10:16 PM on February 13, 2010
Hardy Boys? The Oz Books or the John Carter of Mars series? Maybe a Choose Your Own Adventure book? Sherlock Holmes? Heinlein juveniles?
posted by orthogonality at 10:16 PM on February 13, 2010
He comes to me frequently whining that he's bored. Mostly, he just wants me to give him time on my phone or computer. I do, sporadically, but my experience is that too much quickly creates a reliance an an expectation.
This isn't so much a suggestion about things for him to do, but if you want him to stop bugging you then you have to stop giving in to him on this front. He probably thinks that there's no harm in asking you for computer-time whenever he's bored because he knows there's a chance you'll give in, no matter how small. If you give in then he gets the computer, and if you don't he still gets time with his big sis. There's no down side there.
Definitely provide him with lots of opportunities and activities, but it's really okay if he's bored sometimes. It's not your job to keep him entertained all day every day; if he chooses not to be entertained with all that's offered for him then it's his problem, not yours. I remember that was around the age where my parents started to tell me "sucks to be you" when I whined about being bored, which forced me to go find my own activities rather than have things provided for me. (And at any rate he's 10; you're probably not going to find a magic bullet that will cure his boredom forever. Even the most interesting activity will get boring after awhile.)
posted by lilac girl at 10:27 PM on February 13, 2010 [1 favorite]
This isn't so much a suggestion about things for him to do, but if you want him to stop bugging you then you have to stop giving in to him on this front. He probably thinks that there's no harm in asking you for computer-time whenever he's bored because he knows there's a chance you'll give in, no matter how small. If you give in then he gets the computer, and if you don't he still gets time with his big sis. There's no down side there.
Definitely provide him with lots of opportunities and activities, but it's really okay if he's bored sometimes. It's not your job to keep him entertained all day every day; if he chooses not to be entertained with all that's offered for him then it's his problem, not yours. I remember that was around the age where my parents started to tell me "sucks to be you" when I whined about being bored, which forced me to go find my own activities rather than have things provided for me. (And at any rate he's 10; you're probably not going to find a magic bullet that will cure his boredom forever. Even the most interesting activity will get boring after awhile.)
posted by lilac girl at 10:27 PM on February 13, 2010 [1 favorite]
Make a list of things he can do by himself -drawing, legos, a book of mazes, run around the block five times, read, make his own comic book, draw outdoors with chalk, practice a sports skill (I seem to remember lots of bouncing/kicking/hitting balls against a wall). Then make a rule - if he says "I'm bored" then you get to tell him what to do for the next 10 minutes. Pick something that you would expect to be moderately interesting but he has to do what you said. Taught my kids not to use the word "bored" around me or, if they were really bored then it gave them something to do.
Since he obviously values his attention, you can make a tradeoff - leave you alone for a certain amount of time and then you will play with him (good sister that you are)
posted by metahawk at 10:33 PM on February 13, 2010
Since he obviously values his attention, you can make a tradeoff - leave you alone for a certain amount of time and then you will play with him (good sister that you are)
posted by metahawk at 10:33 PM on February 13, 2010
He could learn to juggle pretty quickly at about that age - it'd do wonders for sports later on down the line, (and well, if he kept on juggling, he'll be an ace later on in life having started so young!) There are a number of resources online - the International Jugglers' Association, the Internet Juggling Database, and, well, stuff on youtube of course!
When I was his age, I painted a lot of wooden models, played chess with my dad, and drew a ton.... mostly robots destroying cities, haha. There was a cartooning class that I took through the city's continuing education program which was pretty rad, too.
posted by ThomThomThomThom at 10:38 PM on February 13, 2010
When I was his age, I painted a lot of wooden models, played chess with my dad, and drew a ton.... mostly robots destroying cities, haha. There was a cartooning class that I took through the city's continuing education program which was pretty rad, too.
posted by ThomThomThomThom at 10:38 PM on February 13, 2010
He reads a lot. A lot a lot. Doesn't need any encouragement to read.
So you're phrasing your question in a funny way. He does very well know how to occupy himself when he's alone, it's only that none of you guys sees this as an "occupation". I believe that this is the condition that must change.
Give him more to read, give him better stuff to read. Let him read and then let him read some more. Send him twice around the block after that and then, more reading.
(a lot of mothers [or fathers, for that matter] try to 'push' their kids away from the computer toward books with no success at all. Count yourselves blessed. [And pushing doesn't work in any case])
posted by Namlit at 1:34 AM on February 14, 2010 [3 favorites]
So you're phrasing your question in a funny way. He does very well know how to occupy himself when he's alone, it's only that none of you guys sees this as an "occupation". I believe that this is the condition that must change.
Give him more to read, give him better stuff to read. Let him read and then let him read some more. Send him twice around the block after that and then, more reading.
(a lot of mothers [or fathers, for that matter] try to 'push' their kids away from the computer toward books with no success at all. Count yourselves blessed. [And pushing doesn't work in any case])
posted by Namlit at 1:34 AM on February 14, 2010 [3 favorites]
What Namlit is saying. I find it really, really weird that your brother is interested in books, movies, TV, video games, and computers, and that your parents find all of that invalid--even books! I'm an adult and I love all of those things, too. If someone told me that I couldn't do them--that my interests were invalid and insignificant--I'd be put-off and whiny, too.
Look: it sounds like he's a social kid. It sounds like he's physically active. So what's wrong with having a few introverted, media-driven pursuits to fill in his down time? I think this is particularly true with reading. Why? Because a love of books can help you explore many, many topics through that love. You're not just "reading"--you can be "learning how to draw" or "learning about what life was like in the past" or "learning about classical mythology" or "learning how to operate a ham radio." In fact, I'm kind of at a loss to see what you and your parents find so invalid about the things that he wants to do. You're right, what can he do? Unless you guys are expecting some sort of 24/7 immersion into sports, there's not much left for him.
I'd recommend that you, as big sis, read a little bit about unschooling and the philosophies of places like the Summerhill School. AS Neill, the founder, wrote: "the function of a child is to live his own life — not the life that his anxious parents think he should live, not a life according to the purpose of an educator who thinks he knows best" (cite). And you know what? It's true. You want your brother to be happy and passionate? Quit telling him that the things he's already passionate about are no good--and encourage your parents to do the same. When he comes to you complaining that he's bored, drop him off at (or walk with him to) the library. Let him wander around for an afternoon and get books that he's interested in. And then let him read them. Sheesh.
Your brother might also have trouble moderating screen time" because it's something largely forbidden to him. Though, to be fair, I was a bright kid, and like him, a media junky, and could easily watch television all afternoon. That doesn't mean I was brain dead or dumb or evil. I learned more from television than I learned from school. I also spent a lot of time as a kid writing "scripts" to tv shows or the like. One of the reasons I read and watched TV a ton was because I was interested in stories--and today, as an adult, I'm a writer. Consider getting him an old used typewriter or something, if he has any interest in writing down the stuff that's in his head. Or, since he likes comics, encourage him towards the drawing section of the library. But really, I'm resistant to suggest much more pushing in any direction. That is one of the reasons to complain that you're bored--because you know the adults will give you something to do, even if it's something that you're not really interested in.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 5:50 AM on February 14, 2010 [3 favorites]
Look: it sounds like he's a social kid. It sounds like he's physically active. So what's wrong with having a few introverted, media-driven pursuits to fill in his down time? I think this is particularly true with reading. Why? Because a love of books can help you explore many, many topics through that love. You're not just "reading"--you can be "learning how to draw" or "learning about what life was like in the past" or "learning about classical mythology" or "learning how to operate a ham radio." In fact, I'm kind of at a loss to see what you and your parents find so invalid about the things that he wants to do. You're right, what can he do? Unless you guys are expecting some sort of 24/7 immersion into sports, there's not much left for him.
I'd recommend that you, as big sis, read a little bit about unschooling and the philosophies of places like the Summerhill School. AS Neill, the founder, wrote: "the function of a child is to live his own life — not the life that his anxious parents think he should live, not a life according to the purpose of an educator who thinks he knows best" (cite). And you know what? It's true. You want your brother to be happy and passionate? Quit telling him that the things he's already passionate about are no good--and encourage your parents to do the same. When he comes to you complaining that he's bored, drop him off at (or walk with him to) the library. Let him wander around for an afternoon and get books that he's interested in. And then let him read them. Sheesh.
Your brother might also have trouble moderating screen time" because it's something largely forbidden to him. Though, to be fair, I was a bright kid, and like him, a media junky, and could easily watch television all afternoon. That doesn't mean I was brain dead or dumb or evil. I learned more from television than I learned from school. I also spent a lot of time as a kid writing "scripts" to tv shows or the like. One of the reasons I read and watched TV a ton was because I was interested in stories--and today, as an adult, I'm a writer. Consider getting him an old used typewriter or something, if he has any interest in writing down the stuff that's in his head. Or, since he likes comics, encourage him towards the drawing section of the library. But really, I'm resistant to suggest much more pushing in any direction. That is one of the reasons to complain that you're bored--because you know the adults will give you something to do, even if it's something that you're not really interested in.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 5:50 AM on February 14, 2010 [3 favorites]
It doesn't really sound like he needs anything else to do......he has plenty of things he does, several of them he can do and does alone so he knows how to entertain himself. When he comes into your room saying he's bored he wants attention and/or the potential perks to bugging you like phone or computer time....so he'll keep bugging you.
Your question therefore probably is how you stop him from bugging you and there are plenty of good suggestions here already about what to do remove his incentives for doing so.
posted by koahiatamadl at 5:59 AM on February 14, 2010
Your question therefore probably is how you stop him from bugging you and there are plenty of good suggestions here already about what to do remove his incentives for doing so.
posted by koahiatamadl at 5:59 AM on February 14, 2010
Parent of grown children here.
If he's bored, find him chores. I guarantee you he will start becoming much better at occupying his time on his own after that.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 6:18 AM on February 14, 2010
If he's bored, find him chores. I guarantee you he will start becoming much better at occupying his time on his own after that.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 6:18 AM on February 14, 2010
It sounds like he might be interested in beginner's programming or robotics? Perhaps an arduino kit? (Though I may need to use an AskMefi to get reccomendations)
posted by CharlesV42 at 6:49 AM on February 14, 2010
posted by CharlesV42 at 6:49 AM on February 14, 2010
Maybe find some sort of project that you can both work on together? Something like Arduino or Lego Mindstorms might be nice. You both work a little bit together on your computer, and he spends the rest of the time building various things.
posted by a womble is an active kind of sloth at 6:53 AM on February 14, 2010
posted by a womble is an active kind of sloth at 6:53 AM on February 14, 2010
Best answer: Your brothers sounds like my two sons. Read a lot, really limited screen/computer time. One very good at occupying himself, the other not so much.
Taking broken things apart might be fun. What's inside a hard-drive case, for example? Can I fix my busted radio? You can get tiny screwdrivers and wire cutters at the dollar store. It is fun to take things apart and it usually takes a while. He might surprise you and be able to fix something, my son fixed a couple of toys this way, including a busted Star Trek phaser.
I like the suggestions of making a list, then maybe cut the list into slips of paper and draw one from a jar when he comes to you bored, that might work, a random thing to do.
posted by coevals at 7:41 AM on February 14, 2010
Taking broken things apart might be fun. What's inside a hard-drive case, for example? Can I fix my busted radio? You can get tiny screwdrivers and wire cutters at the dollar store. It is fun to take things apart and it usually takes a while. He might surprise you and be able to fix something, my son fixed a couple of toys this way, including a busted Star Trek phaser.
I like the suggestions of making a list, then maybe cut the list into slips of paper and draw one from a jar when he comes to you bored, that might work, a random thing to do.
posted by coevals at 7:41 AM on February 14, 2010
Constructive boredom is a teacher for children. It's how they learn to be creative and self-entertaining. When he whines that he's bored, don't provide him new and better entertainment, tell him to go entertain himself. He'll figure something out.
You can also fall back on the standbys of "Only boring people are bored" and "If you're that bored, you can clean the bathroom." The latter usually convinced children pretty quickly they have something else they want to do.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 8:09 AM on February 14, 2010 [1 favorite]
You can also fall back on the standbys of "Only boring people are bored" and "If you're that bored, you can clean the bathroom." The latter usually convinced children pretty quickly they have something else they want to do.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 8:09 AM on February 14, 2010 [1 favorite]
The thing that stands out here, for me, is that it appears you're the one who had had to deal with this problem (I'm assuming there's a good deal of time when you're around but your parents aren't/aren't available?), but you have no input into the restrictions that are contributing to the problem: no TV, no movies, no xBox, no DS, not too many comic books, not too much time on the phone, etc. etc....
...if he's doing well and in magnet school and making friends and in sports and clubs and activities and all that...cripes. Why not let the kid just veg for a few hours a day when he's not doing all that? At 10 years old, why does everything he does need to be so goddamn productive and worthy?
Parent of teens, and former child who managed to have an admirably successful childhood despite quite a few hours wasted watching Bugs Bunny and Happy Days.
posted by drlith at 8:09 AM on February 14, 2010 [1 favorite]
...if he's doing well and in magnet school and making friends and in sports and clubs and activities and all that...cripes. Why not let the kid just veg for a few hours a day when he's not doing all that? At 10 years old, why does everything he does need to be so goddamn productive and worthy?
Parent of teens, and former child who managed to have an admirably successful childhood despite quite a few hours wasted watching Bugs Bunny and Happy Days.
posted by drlith at 8:09 AM on February 14, 2010 [1 favorite]
Hee, I popped back in to say with drlith just did: that, with school, heavy homework, sports, and two hours of socializing per day, your brother probably really needs some veg time. Even kids, with their infinite energy, need time to recharge when their schedules are so packed.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 8:16 AM on February 14, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 8:16 AM on February 14, 2010 [1 favorite]
All good suggestions here. The only thing I have to add is that in our house (with 3 boys around this age with similar dis/interests and challenges), is that being bored is a personal choice. You can choose to be bored or you can choose to move on. I consider the skill of moving beyond being bored as an important life skill. Your brother not only needs to 'not be bored', but more importantly needs to learn that 'when you're bored' that he has the ability to do something about it rather than dependent on externals (others, electronics, random things). It is important for him to learn that the resolution of being bored is going to be resolved by a personal choice, not a thing, because fundamentally, Things don't make you happy. He may well have lots of things, but still be bored. In my view, this is not about things, but learning the self-awareness and personal skill of choosing not to be bored. Parents are often in a challenging position to teach this, but as his sibling you are well placed to help your brother learn this. Your brother is really lucky to have such a caring sib.
posted by kch at 9:01 AM on February 14, 2010
posted by kch at 9:01 AM on February 14, 2010
I second what a previous poster said, if the brother likes to read he should be allowed to do as much of it as he wants, with books of increasing quality / interest. Access to literate family members and/or friends that would help nurture this tendency is even desirable.
Now to be a bit "down to earth" your brother will soon discover the joy of self satisfaction, and his bouts of boredom will then soon extinguish as his libido grows.
posted by knz at 10:29 AM on February 14, 2010
Now to be a bit "down to earth" your brother will soon discover the joy of self satisfaction, and his bouts of boredom will then soon extinguish as his libido grows.
posted by knz at 10:29 AM on February 14, 2010
All good suggestions, but I'd say that it doesn't sound like he's bored - it sounds like he's lonely. He doesn't want stuff to do, he wants people to do it with. He might get boosts to his energy from other people; and the activities that he's asking for and are limited for him are ones that increase a feeling of connection with someone. The things you mentioned that he already does are a bit of a balm, but not stimulating enough - you can get lost in a book for a while, but still come up feeling a bit empty. Clubs; having friends over; getting increments of time with family sounds like it should satisfy him and let him go away happy, but for certain personalities, it's like a hole that can never be quite filled. I'd suggest helping him to find activities that would let him have this bit of extraversion, like a writing to people, volunteering, or even caring for a pet? It doesn't sound like he has a problem with finding activities, it sounds like he'd like company.
posted by peagood at 11:15 AM on February 14, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by peagood at 11:15 AM on February 14, 2010 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: He reads several hours most days. It's fine, but my parents would rather he broaden his interests. All three kids in our family have been avid readers.
Yep, it's definitely a situation where my parents would rather he not do certain things, but I get stuck with him wanting to use my access to things for his benefit. I'm the weakest link as these things go.
My other brother will play with kits and toys, the keyboard, video camera, shoot baskets by himself, go kick a soccer ball against a wall, whatever. The 10 year old just comes up with reasons not to when I suggest something, since there is obviously something he wants. It's difficult for me to get him out of my room and leave me alone (if I don't have homework, then yeah, we'll play a board game or something).
Thanks, all, there are great suggestions here!
posted by R a c h e l at 2:42 PM on February 14, 2010
Yep, it's definitely a situation where my parents would rather he not do certain things, but I get stuck with him wanting to use my access to things for his benefit. I'm the weakest link as these things go.
My other brother will play with kits and toys, the keyboard, video camera, shoot baskets by himself, go kick a soccer ball against a wall, whatever. The 10 year old just comes up with reasons not to when I suggest something, since there is obviously something he wants. It's difficult for me to get him out of my room and leave me alone (if I don't have homework, then yeah, we'll play a board game or something).
Thanks, all, there are great suggestions here!
posted by R a c h e l at 2:42 PM on February 14, 2010
When he comes to you, try this on for size: "If there's something specific I can help you do, let me know. Otherwise, scram" and stick to it. The more you give him things to do, the less he's going to be able to come up with something himself. Make him come up with an activity for you guys to share, at the very least, instead of supplying them for him.
But I would recommend not censuring him for his interests--comic books or whatever--as your parents seem inclined to do. He might be having trouble articulating what he actually wants to do because his actual interests aren't seen as valid. You might have far better luck with helping him explore new things by asking him what he likes about, say, comic books. Maybe he thinks Mad Magazine is hilarious. Suggest other funny books, then--Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy or something.
Having narrow interests is fine, though. In adults, we call people with narrow interests professionals or academics. There's really no reason to see it as terrible in kids, other than that many parents these days think unstructured time spent "unproductively" (a totally subjective term) is problematic.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 2:52 PM on February 14, 2010
But I would recommend not censuring him for his interests--comic books or whatever--as your parents seem inclined to do. He might be having trouble articulating what he actually wants to do because his actual interests aren't seen as valid. You might have far better luck with helping him explore new things by asking him what he likes about, say, comic books. Maybe he thinks Mad Magazine is hilarious. Suggest other funny books, then--Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy or something.
Having narrow interests is fine, though. In adults, we call people with narrow interests professionals or academics. There's really no reason to see it as terrible in kids, other than that many parents these days think unstructured time spent "unproductively" (a totally subjective term) is problematic.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 2:52 PM on February 14, 2010
How about bribing him to come up with a list of things he can do? Maybe even multiple bribes, in phases:
Phase One. Make a list of things you can do for [time on the computer, XBOX, etc.].
Phase Two. Make a detailed plan for each item on the list. (These are the supplies I need, this is where I need to go, this is how I'm going to pull it off, etc.) Exchange for [other thing he bugs you for].
Phase Three. Complete a plan, start to finish, skipping no steps (show your work). Show me what you made/did. Each completed plan gets a reward.
posted by ocherdraco at 7:46 AM on February 15, 2010
Phase One. Make a list of things you can do for [time on the computer, XBOX, etc.].
Phase Two. Make a detailed plan for each item on the list. (These are the supplies I need, this is where I need to go, this is how I'm going to pull it off, etc.) Exchange for [other thing he bugs you for].
Phase Three. Complete a plan, start to finish, skipping no steps (show your work). Show me what you made/did. Each completed plan gets a reward.
posted by ocherdraco at 7:46 AM on February 15, 2010
I don't see a problem with letting the kid have a little more screen time everyday. Especially if you give him some quality shit to watch.
I used to come home from kindergarten-2nd grade everday and watch the Adam West Batman show. (I'm 25... I have no clue what channel these were on) I'd watch it with my parents or grandparents - whoever's house I was going to. Very fond memories of these times.
You guys ought to take the little man to the public library once weekly. Say every Monday after school and he can grab some books and a few DVDs. There's at least 10 hours of time consumed weekly.
Or just drop the kid off at the library ... I used to bike myself up there (as did my fiance) after school or during the summer break and spend HOURS there looking around.
He's ten, right?
He should have seen all the Indiana Jones movies by now for sure. Jaws and Jurassic Park. They all will become favorites he'll want to see again and again I'm sure. Then he'll want to check out a gazillion books about dinosaurs, sharks and lost civilizations.
KEEP HIM AWAY FROM NICKELODEON. It melts your brain.
posted by mittenbex at 2:05 PM on February 15, 2010 [1 favorite]
I used to come home from kindergarten-2nd grade everday and watch the Adam West Batman show. (I'm 25... I have no clue what channel these were on) I'd watch it with my parents or grandparents - whoever's house I was going to. Very fond memories of these times.
You guys ought to take the little man to the public library once weekly. Say every Monday after school and he can grab some books and a few DVDs. There's at least 10 hours of time consumed weekly.
Or just drop the kid off at the library ... I used to bike myself up there (as did my fiance) after school or during the summer break and spend HOURS there looking around.
He's ten, right?
He should have seen all the Indiana Jones movies by now for sure. Jaws and Jurassic Park. They all will become favorites he'll want to see again and again I'm sure. Then he'll want to check out a gazillion books about dinosaurs, sharks and lost civilizations.
KEEP HIM AWAY FROM NICKELODEON. It melts your brain.
posted by mittenbex at 2:05 PM on February 15, 2010 [1 favorite]
Hah, this question sounds so much like my life. I'm about your age and I've got a 10 year old little brother too. Infinite energy and curiosity and limited ability to act on it - man, this stage is weird.
One thing my little brother enjoys is trying to invent his own stuff. In science class at school, they've attempted to recreate bubble gum, soda, and toothpaste, and he likes it to the point where he'll sit in the kitchen coming up with his own foods. Basic science experiments are really fun at that age - baking soda/ vinegar, curdling milk with lemon juice, playing with cornstarch, and the like.
He got this electromagnetic kit for Christmas and he spends a lot of time building circuits and stuff like that. It's pretty cool - he's made a doorbell and a radio so far. If your brother's at all scientifically inclined, ask your parents to check out getting him a kit. There's a ton of cool stuff out there, and it'd definitely "broaden his interests".
Oh, a final idea! Recently, my parents have started assigning chores for a negligible amount of money. For instance, sweep the kitchen floor for a quarter. He's taken to this surprisingly well - I think it's just the idea that he has a real job that pays actual money and it makes him feel all sorts of mature. If you really need to get your little brother out of your hair, try giving him some task to do while offering payment.
posted by estlin at 3:28 AM on February 21, 2010
One thing my little brother enjoys is trying to invent his own stuff. In science class at school, they've attempted to recreate bubble gum, soda, and toothpaste, and he likes it to the point where he'll sit in the kitchen coming up with his own foods. Basic science experiments are really fun at that age - baking soda/ vinegar, curdling milk with lemon juice, playing with cornstarch, and the like.
He got this electromagnetic kit for Christmas and he spends a lot of time building circuits and stuff like that. It's pretty cool - he's made a doorbell and a radio so far. If your brother's at all scientifically inclined, ask your parents to check out getting him a kit. There's a ton of cool stuff out there, and it'd definitely "broaden his interests".
Oh, a final idea! Recently, my parents have started assigning chores for a negligible amount of money. For instance, sweep the kitchen floor for a quarter. He's taken to this surprisingly well - I think it's just the idea that he has a real job that pays actual money and it makes him feel all sorts of mature. If you really need to get your little brother out of your hair, try giving him some task to do while offering payment.
posted by estlin at 3:28 AM on February 21, 2010
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by martinX's bellbottoms at 9:39 PM on February 13, 2010