Can we hold a party for 50 in a two bedroom apartment?

January 14, 2010 8:25 PM

Is it a bad idea to try to hold an engagement party with 50-70 guests in a two-bedroom apartment?

My fiancee and I are planning an engagement party on a Saturday night. We've gotten 50 RSVPs to date, and probably won't get more than 70 all in all. We are trying to decide between holding it in our apartment or in a closeby bar.

Our apartment is nominally 1200 square feet, but I looked at the floor plan, and it looks like we'd have between 400 and 700 square feet of space that people could actually be standing around in. The main room is 17'8" by 16'4" with a kitchen island, and we'd open up both bedrooms. We're serving tapas, drinks and dessert. We'd have seating for about 16. We only share a wall with one neighbor, and they're totally cool about noise. I like the intimacy and control, and we're very happy to show off our place. But I worry that it's too small, or that we'd regret the hassle of management and cleanup. I can't picture 50 people.

The bar is not charging us anything. They'd let us bring food, and just expect people to order drinks at the bar. (For that reason, we'd actually save money by going to the bar.) They'd rope off a sizable area for us with couches all along the wall. We'd pretty much have the place to ourselves for the first few hours, then lose control as the crowd came in around 9:00. I imagine that the rope would come down around then.

MeFi Party Planning Committee, what do you think?

posted by Clambone to Sports, Hobbies, & Recreation (35 answers total)

Go to the bar: you don't have to clean before or after!
posted by Oktober at 8:31 PM on January 14, 2010 [1 favorite]

70 people in a 2 bedroom apartment? 15 would be too many.
posted by Megafly at 8:32 PM on January 14, 2010 [3 favorites]

I've read that cocktail parties require 5-6 sq. feet per person, so that sounds like you'll have plenty of room.
posted by kylej at 8:33 PM on January 14, 2010

It doesn't seem very practical. Who wants to hang out in a bedroom at a party? And you lose a lot of space around the couches and the drinks/food area (since people will be going to and fro). I've been to parties in apartments that had too many people and it's not fun. You feel like you can't move and getting around is a hassle. (Much like an overly crowded bar.)
posted by smackfu at 8:33 PM on January 14, 2010

Your apartment is certainly not large enough for 50 people, go to the bar.
posted by banannafish at 8:33 PM on January 14, 2010

That sounds like WAAAY too many. Don't do it.
posted by Sonic_Molson at 8:34 PM on January 14, 2010

I agree with Oktober. While I can see the benefit of having a party at home that feels extra-personal and intimate, that's a pretty tight fit for 50-70 people (REALLY intimate), and to only have seating for 16 might prove tough.
If you hold it at the bar, not only is the cleanup taken care of, but you also might get to spend more time actually talking to people and graciously accepting their good wishes.

Good luck and congratulations!
posted by teamparka at 8:34 PM on January 14, 2010

My lease has a party rule that says I can't have more than a certain number of people in the property for a party. Do you have a similar provision in your lease? Even if you don't, I think the bar is still your best bet. Your guests will not have a good time if they are packed in like sardines in your apartment.
posted by snugglebunny at 8:34 PM on January 14, 2010

Go to the bar. It'll be more comfortable for everyone, and you won't have to clean up. Plus, I agree with those above who said that even if you open the doors, guests are unlikely to feel comfortable hanging out in your bedroom. My apartment is nearly twice the size of yours, and the one time I had a party with more than 20 people, it felt terribly claustrophobic, and it got ridiculously hot. Everyone was tripping over one another and sweating miserably. Go to the bar.
posted by decathecting at 8:41 PM on January 14, 2010 [1 favorite]

If you have to ask, it's probably not a good idea.
posted by Demogorgon at 8:42 PM on January 14, 2010 [1 favorite]

50 people in a 2 bedroom apartment sound like an un-fun party to me.
posted by mattsweaters at 8:44 PM on January 14, 2010 [1 favorite]

Go to the bar. I had around 30 people in my 1600 square foot house recently and it was right on the edge of too many people. Bonus: No clean-up required!
posted by chiababe at 8:54 PM on January 14, 2010

Go to the bar, then when nine rolls around and it gets busy lots of people will go/have gone and the rest of you can go back to your apartment.
posted by shelleycat at 8:54 PM on January 14, 2010

They won't all be there at the same time. Everyone will arrive and leave at different times. I don't think the space will definitely be an issue.

But I still vote bar.
posted by hermitosis at 8:58 PM on January 14, 2010

Response by poster: Thanks, folks, for your great advice. It sounds an easier question than I realized. I love living in the future sometimes.
posted by Clambone at 9:19 PM on January 14, 2010

You've got what, two bathrooms? Maybe just one? Especially once people get to drinking you're going to have a line, which is always unpleasant, and possibly toiletry supply issues as well. You may even have plumbing difficulties, which would be no fun at all. I would recommend the bar.
posted by jedicus at 9:20 PM on January 14, 2010 [1 favorite]

Bar.
posted by davejay at 9:31 PM on January 14, 2010

Forget the bedrooms. Who is going to want to go stand in the little space between your bed and a wall all night? I wouldn't.

You're talking about 290 square feet for, potentially, 70 people. Figure, I don't know, a quarter of it is taken up by your furniture, kitchen island, refrigerator, room for the refrigerator door to open every once in a while, TV, stereo, blah blah blah. So that's 220 square feet, about.

Sixteen people can go on that furniture, so that 220 square feet has to be for 54 people to stand in. About four square feet per person. That's less than a Roman legionnaire would get in battle formation.

On second though, yeah, I am going to want to go stand in the little space between your bed and a wall, just to get away from all the damn people.

And I sure hope you have a good air conditioner, even now in the dead of winter. And god help anyone who has to go to the bathroom.

Frankly, I think I would be annoyed if I showed up to a party I was invited to, and found that there were sixty-nine other people in a 17x16 room. I would almost certainly try to figure out a way to politely get the hell out of there ASAP. Go to the bar.
posted by Flunkie at 9:36 PM on January 14, 2010 [1 favorite]

Yeah, the potty problems alone would be unimaginable. Bar.
posted by ColdChef at 9:42 PM on January 14, 2010

It sounds like you're leaning towards the bar but for a point of comparison my parents hosted a dinner over the holidays with, if I'm remembering correctly, 23 total people, two of whom were infants. This was in a reasonably large three bedroom house with one of those big open living/dining rooms and a big kitchen with room for a separate table. 23 was rapidly approaching the limit of people I'd want in a place that size. Ten more would have been too many. I can't imagine more than twice that in the house much less in a significantly smaller apartment. It would be seriously unpleasantly crowded and leaning towards disastrous if you only have one toilet (because that toilet will inevitably get blocked up).
posted by 6550 at 10:13 PM on January 14, 2010

Calculating how many people you can host.
posted by jjb at 10:39 PM on January 14, 2010

I went to a sit down dinner for 29 in a 1 bedroom apartment once. The host had got hold of a board to go on the bed and that became a second dining table. It was enjoyable and memorable - but that single bathroom was a problem. With twice that number you have an event which would be appealing only in circus terms I think.
posted by rongorongo at 10:44 PM on January 14, 2010

Don't forget to warn the bar in time for them to schedule heavily - 50-70 people generally means at least 3-4 dedicated servers for good service.
posted by hypersloth at 12:56 AM on January 15, 2010

If you're sensible, you go to the bar. It is your only option. Having said that, one of the most memorable parties, I ever attended took place in the same setting, with the same amount of people. Bonus: I was in a four man band, that played in the same room. This was only possible, when we were standing on our amps. The drummer with his wee Ludwig kit, was set up in the other room. People were standing on the windowsills, there was diving from the mantelpiece, doors were destroyed from the pushing and shoving, beer sprayed against the ceiling. Eventually, the extra furniture was thrown out the window. Thank god the place was too crammed to facilitate a proper fight. It was pure mayhem and it was awesome. Disclaimer 1: it was a squat. Disclaimer 2: we were kids. Epilogue: the scar from the microphone that was kicked in my face, disappeared eventually.
posted by ouke at 3:19 AM on January 15, 2010 [5 favorites]

Not everyone invited or RSVP-ed will show. Besides that, I cast my lone vote for the crowded party at your place. The awkwardness of it is part of the fun. Just make sure of two things. A strict time limit after which everyone must leave (3 hours total), and a place to go next. I've done exactly this and it was a party my kind friends talk about 5+ years later.
posted by eccnineten at 5:18 AM on January 15, 2010

I disagree with the posters who say you couldn't possibly do it at home.

After my wedding, we had a brunch for about 45 at our 3-bedroom apartment - it's a similar situation, though, as two bedrooms were upstairs and only used for coats, the guests who had stayed over, and piles of crap that we moved out of the dining room. The downstairs bedroom was a crowded office that was effectively a 2-footx10foot hallway to the back door, so it hardly counted. Thus, the available space was a large living room, a large kitchen which was both social space, entry space, and cooking space, and a medium-sized dining room which contained the food tables, plus the bathroom downstairs and the half-bath upstairs. 45 people was really full, but we were serving more food and less booze than your plan. At that point another 5 wouldn't have made a difference, but 60 would be too many. You *could* do it, but it would affect the mood of the party, so you decide what you want it to feel like - it would be homey, DIY, and fun, and probably impressive in its way, and tell your family what awesome friends you have, etc, but probably would not be remembered as classy, simple, posh, etc.

An idea: Throw your party at the bar, with foods but no desserts, with a hard end time of 9:00. Continue into an after-party with desserts and cocktails at your house. The number of people who make it to the house will be maybe 30, which is still plenty to feel like a party.
posted by aimedwander at 5:56 AM on January 15, 2010

It depends on where you live. In New York, this sort of density wouldn't freak people out, but no one has 1200 SF there. :)

The bar is a safer, easier choice. Is it within walking distance? If so, I might risk it at home. 50 people drunkenly walking down the sidewalk to a bar is always a good time. FWIW, I've got ~800 SF and the house is cramped at about 20 people, but my wife's family regularly packs 50+ folks into the same size space. Hard to say how it'll feel.
posted by paanta at 6:15 AM on January 15, 2010

There really needs to be enough seating for everyone. Would you want to stand around for a couple of hours?
posted by orange swan at 6:30 AM on January 15, 2010

It depends on where you live. In New York, this sort of density wouldn't freak people out, but no one has 1200 SF there. :)

Seriously. I've been to some pretty big parties in pretty small places in NYC. I say do it! Or start at your place and then move to the bar after 2-3 hours.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 6:45 AM on January 15, 2010 [1 favorite]

We did similar in a smaller apartment a few nights before our wedding. Thinking back on it, I'm kind of amazed it worked, but pretty much everyone who showed up would rave about it for years to come. This was in Minneapolis in March with guests from all over the country ranging in age from 20 somethings to 70 year olds.
posted by advicepig at 7:20 AM on January 15, 2010

Bar. Definitely bar. Especially if you are having older people like grandparents or parents attend this party. They will not like a stuffed apartment style party at all (whereas a bunch of 20 somethings may not care that much).
posted by WeekendJen at 7:20 AM on January 15, 2010

We're serving tapas, drinks and dessert.

You can totally have a party with 50-70 people in your apartment...but not the kind of party you're planning.

Go to the bar, then invite the stragglers/night owls back to your place for moar party if you want.
posted by desuetude at 7:45 AM on January 15, 2010

That sounds like a shit ton of people to fit in a 2 bedroom place. I think in our 1 bedroom we've maybe almost got close to 20, and that was seriously tight. If your condo/apartment has a party room, you might want to rent that. Or, try and plan things so that guests show up staggered over the day/night.
posted by chunking express at 8:14 AM on January 15, 2010

Way too small.

This may not be a factor where you live, but the parking situation alone would make me choose the bar. Let alone the lack of seating at your place, cleanup and single bathroom. (eek!) And no matter how cool your neighbors are, 50-70 people celebrating is gonna get crazy loud.

The bar doesn't charge and is letting you bring food? Win! Congrats and have fun!
posted by Space Kitty at 10:33 AM on January 15, 2010

Here are a couple of party space calculators. They both say that you will need around 450 sqare feet for 50 people, and that is in a romm with no furniture.
posted by rtimmel at 2:23 PM on January 15, 2010