Push Gift Ideas.
December 4, 2009 10:26 AM   Subscribe

Push (Birthing) Gift idea? Wife has hinted and I like to give gifts. What is appropriate?

We are about to have our first child in ~2 weeks and my wife has been increasingly dropping small hints at a Push Gift. For those who don't know, they are gifts given to the mother after birth. I like to give my wife gifts for special occasions so this works for me. However I am unsure as to what would be 'appropriate'.

Only jewelry thing she has mentioned in the past couple years is a pearl necklace. Thing is I dont think she would wear it. The other option is a spa day, which I know she will use. Any recommendations?
posted by NotSoSimple to Human Relations (20 answers total)
Best answer: Only jewelry thing she has mentioned in the past couple years is a pearl necklace. Thing is I don't think she would wear it.

A pearl necklace sounds perfect to me, especially if she already wants one. Pearls are classic, she could pass it down to your daughter someday.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 10:31 AM on December 4, 2009 [5 favorites]

I'd go with jewelry over the spa day. It can take a new first-time mom quite a while before she feels up to any kind of day - even a pampering one - that isn't more than a nap and a shower.
posted by Sweetie Darling at 10:33 AM on December 4, 2009

For baby #1 I gave my wife a very nice purse. The only thing with that is you're wife won't be using it that much initially because you guys will be lugging around a diaper bag, but my wife really appreciated that. I don't remember what #2 was, jewelry maybe (odd that I can't remember since it was only 7 months ago).

The thing is that it needs to be all about her, don't pick something that is mommy related.
posted by doorsfan at 10:35 AM on December 4, 2009

My father-in-law gave my wife the gift of a doula for a few hours and it was a huge help to both of us.
posted by bondcliff at 10:35 AM on December 4, 2009

If not a pearl necklace, then a nice piece of jewelry with your baby's birthstone (blue topaz, for December) would be good.
posted by castlebravo at 10:38 AM on December 4, 2009

Response by poster: Wife dosnt care about purses. Luckily her mom will be in town for a week or two so if she/we need to get away we can.

Good idea on the passing it down, that is a great idea! Now on to figure out HOW to pick out pearls.
posted by NotSoSimple at 10:39 AM on December 4, 2009

If she has a necklace that she likes, measure that to check out the length. They are NOT created equally. Try to get the same kind, if possible -- if she has a shorter necklace, that's one, and if she has a pendant, that's another.

Aside from the graduated pearls, there are also some stunning single-pearl pendants. The nice thing about a pendant (if you think she'd be into that) is that she could switch out the chain to fit her style over time.

And please don't just go to the mall jewelers. This is the perfect time to support a small family place in town, if you have one. Here is the link I got from my preferred old-school jewelry place; they have a huge selection of every kind you can imagine.

Good luck!
posted by Madamina at 10:48 AM on December 4, 2009

Absolutely jewelry - it's supposed to be a keepsake gift. I received diamond earrings after I gave birth to our twins, and every single time I wear them I'm flooded with (good) memories of the day they arrived and we became parents. I'm sentimental like that, of course, but I think anyone who's interested in a birthing present would be as well...
posted by widdershins at 11:10 AM on December 4, 2009

Best answer: Note that within a week or two after giving birth, a spa day might just not be physically possible, depending on what services you're having. Between fluids, nursing, possible stitches or surgical after-effects, it might not even be enjoyable. If anyone had suggested that I spend time at a spa that soon after having a baby, I'd have laughed my head off and then broken down in tears. Sad but true.

If she wants pearls, get her pearls. I have two strands (one light, one dark) of real, beautiful pearls. I certainly don't wear them every day, but I love having them, love that my husband thought enough to choose them for me as gifts, and will love to give them to my daughter someday.

If you decide not to do pearls, a piece of jewelry with your child's birthstone is always a lovely gift. An eternity-style band, perhaps alternating the birthstone with diamonds (if you're not opposed), could be very pretty and even worn every day, depending on the style.
posted by Lulu's Pink Converse at 11:14 AM on December 4, 2009

I went to Etsy and got my wife a personalized "mom tag" with our daughter's name. She really liked it.
posted by gnutron at 11:39 AM on December 4, 2009

Usually jewelry, as mentioned above. Also referred to as a "baby bauble."
posted by shothotbot at 11:43 AM on December 4, 2009

If she has mentioned pearls, why would you assume she wouldn't wear them? Maybe she wants to start wearing them. Even if she wears them on rare occasions, as widdershins says, they'll always be a special reminder of the day.

Pearls aside, I think something that would be a long term keepsake would be better than a spa day, which, while thoughtful, is fleeting. That seems more appropriate for Mother's Day or something.

Congrats and good luck to you, your wife, and the little one!

*note to my husband, who is quite likely to read this: please don't think my response here necessarily means I am expecting a "push gift" in February!
posted by katie at 11:58 AM on December 4, 2009

I am glad you're doing this for your wife. Just as a data point, my son was born 24 years ago this December 27. I didn't even get so much as a "push card," (didn't think I'd even have to ask for a card or flowers), and I am pissed about it to this day. I have been divorced from his dad for 21 years, and I don't think I'll ever stop being mad about that (though that is not why we divorced). You better believe that when my son's wife has a baby, I'll make damn sure that he gets her a card, flowers, and a nice present. /rant

And congratulations! :)
posted by angiewriter at 12:01 PM on December 4, 2009

Previously (by me!)
posted by joelhunt at 12:30 PM on December 4, 2009

Absolutely jewelry. I actually just ordered a pearl necklace and matching earrings - I'm going out of town but they should be here by the time I return next Friday. I haven't seen them in person yet so I can't vouch for them, but if you MeMail me I'm happy to tell you what I think when I get them. They do have overnight shipping.

These forums were helpful to me as far as what kind I wanted and what quality to look for.
posted by KAS at 1:24 PM on December 4, 2009

Not that a spa gift isn't nice - she might like that in a couple of weeks or months as a treat - but the jewelry will last and will always remind her of the occasion. And could be passed down as well. Even if she doesn't wear it all the time it will have significance.
posted by KAS at 1:25 PM on December 4, 2009

the expected gift is generally jewelry, i believe.

i second the notion of a really beautiful pearl pendant, especially if she is a bit more mod-leaning than the string of pearls. something custom-designed would be extra special.
posted by unlucky.lisp at 2:02 PM on December 4, 2009

Response by poster: Awesome information on a quick note guys. Thanks a ton!
posted by NotSoSimple at 3:22 PM on December 4, 2009

About a month ago, there was an AskMe about pearl necklaces. I answered that question with information about pearls, but also the forum that KAS linked to. You might give it a read.
posted by Houstonian at 3:31 PM on December 4, 2009

Yes, pearl pendant is more versatile than a strand. Pearl earrings would be nice, too.

Alternately, I think it would be really sweet to give her three little gold letters on a necklace (your, her, and the baby's first initials). Something like this: https://www.planetjill.com/shopdisplayproducts.asp?page=1&yFix1=0&ycatqs=19

That's something she could wear every day and the baby could play with, too.

Good luck, father-to-be! You're on the right track trying to make mama happy.
posted by tk at 8:37 PM on December 4, 2009

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