Opinions re It's Just Lunch in the SFO area
July 26, 2009 9:36 PM   Subscribe

Thinking of trying "It's Just Lunch" in the San Francisco area. Any experiences, good or bad about them?
posted by america4 to Human Relations (10 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
 
It's a scam. Save your money. You will never do better having someone select your dates for you than you will on your own. You can do "It's just lunch" yourself for free, you know. Just go somewhere, scope out a single and ask if you can join them.
posted by torquemaniac at 9:43 PM on July 26, 2009


I found this in about 3 seconds on Google: http://www.datingsitesreviews.com/staticpages/index.php?page=Its-Just-Lunch .
posted by crapmatic at 9:52 PM on July 26, 2009


Here's another review site - just for grins and giggles.
posted by torquemaniac at 10:00 PM on July 26, 2009


I (female) went to an enrollment meeting in SF and went through their questionnaire (embarrassing to admit, but what the hell) and it all just seemed really fake and stupid. Maybe it just wasn't the right place for me but I kind of got the creeps there. All the women who worked in the office seemed like Stepford Wives and/or former cheerleaders with weekly manicures and capped teeth. I just couldn't relate to them at all so I figured there was no way they'd be able to understand me.
posted by otherwordlyglow at 10:15 PM on July 26, 2009 [1 favorite]


Oh and they never stopped calling me (and always at the worst possible times) to see if I was interested in signing up, once they had my contact info. Every time they called it was because they suddenly had the "perfect" guy for me. Right.
posted by otherwordlyglow at 10:16 PM on July 26, 2009


Here's the review site for irate men.
posted by torquemaniac at 10:26 PM on July 26, 2009


I can't decide if those reviews are really funny or really sad.
posted by showmethecalvino at 11:28 PM on July 26, 2009


Best answer: I don't really want to be the one to defend IJL, but here are my thoughts...

I did IJL for a few months in DC, and I have a friend that did it in SF for a few months. Both of us are men.

The first thing you learn is that the "matchmaking" aspect is bullshit. They sell it as that, but it's not. My friend in SF learned this first and told me about it, so I didn't have any expectations going in. They try to match you up based on very general details--age range, ethnic/religious preferences, education level, but sometimes they reach. Forget actually matching you up based on your likes/dislikes, values or whatever. You're going to be sent on dates with the people they have, not the people you want.

So what's to like about it? Well, they will set you up on dates. That's for sure, especially in big cities with lots of young professionals like DC or SF. They call you with a "match" and find out when you're free, then they do the same with the other person and set a time, date and location. They make a reservation under both names. When you get there, the host/hostess will know you're there for a blind date and leads you to your date. Each person is told ahead of time to expect to pay for their own food/drinks, so there isn't any awkwardness over splitting the check. And they encourage people to exchange business cards at the end of the date in case you want to take it any further.

In other words, the service is essentially a bunch of blind dates with all the logistics taken care of. Is that worth paying for? For some people, it probably is. It was for me--I was in a new city where I knew no one and didn't have many outlets to meet new people. Plus I hadn't dated in a while and it was nice just to "stretch my legs," so to speak. I met some interesting people, went to some new restaurants and laughed about the bizarre "matches" IJL came up with.

My friend in SF had a similar experience. I also asked some of my IJL dates for their take--mostly their experiences were similar to mine, but the women were more likely to get bad matches (someone older, not exactly single or just very odd).

So make of this what you will. IJL is not going to be a pancea for your love life, but it has its uses.

You can do "It's just lunch" yourself for free, you know. Just go somewhere, scope out a single and ask if you can join them.

Oh, and you risk hearing annoying comments like this. There's a stigma associated with IJL, but if you get something useful from the service, who cares? Ya know, some people think online dating is for basement dwellers and others think therapy is for insane people. Fuck 'em. Do what makes you happy.
posted by mullacc at 1:26 AM on July 27, 2009 [4 favorites]


Mullacc said "You're going to be sent on dates with the people they have, not the people you want." And that seems key to me.

I've never done IJL, but I'm somewhat familiar with the more general online dating world. And it occurs to me that "the people they have" are going to be that subset of singles who find it necessary to spend something like $1500-$1800 (the linked anecdotes vary) on finding dates when there are a plethora of far cheaper (match, eharmony) and even free (okcupid, plentyoffish) options.

I suppose it's possible some portion of that base is highly successful people viewing the fee as a way to weed out the losers. But I think mostly it's going to be people who've tried everything else and are now that desperate to find someone.

And it's going to be a pretty small population too, especially if you live in Maple Grove, Minnesota, as one of the complaining women does. At least San Francisco should offer a larger pool.
posted by Naberius at 9:04 AM on July 27, 2009


...to spend something like $1500-$1800

It wasn't nearly this expensive for me, even before haggling (and you should definitely haggle).

Also, there's no reason you couldn't also use match.com or okcupid. I did too. But I found that, for whatever reason, online dating took up a lot of time and effort at a point in my life where I just wanted to get out of the house and go on a real live date. And I didn't want it to be a pain in the ass. I was willing to pay for this service, and IJL provides it.
posted by mullacc at 10:47 AM on July 27, 2009


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