How to take care of husband post-surgery?
June 19, 2009 11:44 AM Subscribe
What should I do for my sweetie coming home from surgery, post-appendectomy?
My sweetie is coming home from hospital today after having an appendectomy 2 days ago. It was laparoscopic, but there was no appendix tissue left to clip, so they had to do some majiks with the end of the bowel. Thus he is at high risk for an abscess. He has a drain in but it will be removed before he comes home.
So, what should I do to feed him and keep him comfortable? I know the obvious things (keep a plastic bucket by the bed, for unexpected hurling, which he is prone to) but I'm not the instinctive caregiver. If you've had surgery, what were the things that gave you the most pleasure/relief?
My sweetie is coming home from hospital today after having an appendectomy 2 days ago. It was laparoscopic, but there was no appendix tissue left to clip, so they had to do some majiks with the end of the bowel. Thus he is at high risk for an abscess. He has a drain in but it will be removed before he comes home.
So, what should I do to feed him and keep him comfortable? I know the obvious things (keep a plastic bucket by the bed, for unexpected hurling, which he is prone to) but I'm not the instinctive caregiver. If you've had surgery, what were the things that gave you the most pleasure/relief?
Lounge pants. Many, many pairs of lounge pants...maybe with fun prints if you think he would like that.
posted by JoanArkham at 12:24 PM on June 19, 2009
posted by JoanArkham at 12:24 PM on June 19, 2009
When I had my appendix out, the best get well gift I received was a couple new video games. I wasn't able to move around that well so anything to keep my attention while I hung out on the couch was awesome.
posted by nuke3ae at 12:24 PM on June 19, 2009
posted by nuke3ae at 12:24 PM on June 19, 2009
Audiobooks, DVDs, and anything else to stave off boredom while spending a lot of time lying down.
posted by zippy at 12:29 PM on June 19, 2009
posted by zippy at 12:29 PM on June 19, 2009
^ I'll heartily second the "gatekeeper" suggestion; screen all phone calls, and ward off bombastic visitors. These things are incredibly stressful when recovering. You might consider turning the phone's ringer off.
posted by BostonTerrier at 12:50 PM on June 19, 2009
posted by BostonTerrier at 12:50 PM on June 19, 2009
When I got home from surgery (had my gallbladder out), all I wanted was quiet for the first day or so to get some sleep. After that entertainment while being stationary on the couch - movies, video games, etc.
posted by All.star at 1:42 PM on June 19, 2009
posted by All.star at 1:42 PM on June 19, 2009
I've had both by gallbladder and appendix out, and the important thing is to stave off boredom. As other people have said, videogames, books, and movies are great. That, some pillows on the couch, and you're set. The only other thing I can think of is to keep pets away (no jumping on stomach), and don't make him laugh too much- it hurts for the first couple of days.
posted by kgroesser at 2:07 PM on June 19, 2009
posted by kgroesser at 2:07 PM on June 19, 2009
I had laporoscopic surgery to remove my gallbladder in February. Things that my honey did for me that were awesome:
- made sure I had ginger tea/soda/pills to help deal with any nausea issues I had
- helped make sure I was on schedule with my meds
- kept everyone informed of my progress via email/phone/twitter as necessary
- bought me a short table/lap desk so I could eat/read the internet etc. from the couch
- made sure I had lots of clean loungy wear
- deflected kitties from jumping on me
- helped me wash my hair when lifting my arms was painful during the first couple of days after the procedure
- attended all drs appointments with me to make sure two sets of ears heard instructions
- stocked the fridge with lots of liquidy, easy to digest things for me to eat during recovery (this may not be an issue for your honey's type of surgery)
- ungrudgingly ran to the store for random things I needed. This in particular made things easy for me. I didn't have to feel guilty about needing or wanting something that wasn't in the house. He was *such* a trooper!
My good friend brought over DVDs for me and that was a big help too.
posted by Kimberly at 2:12 PM on June 19, 2009 [1 favorite]
- made sure I had ginger tea/soda/pills to help deal with any nausea issues I had
- helped make sure I was on schedule with my meds
- kept everyone informed of my progress via email/phone/twitter as necessary
- bought me a short table/lap desk so I could eat/read the internet etc. from the couch
- made sure I had lots of clean loungy wear
- deflected kitties from jumping on me
- helped me wash my hair when lifting my arms was painful during the first couple of days after the procedure
- attended all drs appointments with me to make sure two sets of ears heard instructions
- stocked the fridge with lots of liquidy, easy to digest things for me to eat during recovery (this may not be an issue for your honey's type of surgery)
- ungrudgingly ran to the store for random things I needed. This in particular made things easy for me. I didn't have to feel guilty about needing or wanting something that wasn't in the house. He was *such* a trooper!
My good friend brought over DVDs for me and that was a big help too.
posted by Kimberly at 2:12 PM on June 19, 2009 [1 favorite]
2nding the Don't Make Him Laugh sentiment, it really does suck.
posted by greta simone at 2:34 PM on June 19, 2009
posted by greta simone at 2:34 PM on June 19, 2009
I would suggest buying some powdered glutamine, with a tasty sweetener as it does not dissolve well, and encouraging your husband to drink 20-40 grams a few times a day.
I had two hernia surgeries several years ago, both laproscopic, the second of which turned into an open repair during the course of the surgery. During my research before the second operation, I found more than a few studies showing glutamine administration post-operatively (most of the studies were on patients with gut/abdominal surgery) increased rates of healing and immune activation, and decreased rates of infection.
posted by zentrification at 3:01 PM on June 19, 2009
I had two hernia surgeries several years ago, both laproscopic, the second of which turned into an open repair during the course of the surgery. During my research before the second operation, I found more than a few studies showing glutamine administration post-operatively (most of the studies were on patients with gut/abdominal surgery) increased rates of healing and immune activation, and decreased rates of infection.
posted by zentrification at 3:01 PM on June 19, 2009
My appendectomy went pretty well, but my biggest problem was really the disturbance to my routine and the stuff that piled up over the week or so I was nonfunctional. Anything someone could have done to help take care of that would have been amazing. (Also, nthing not to make him laugh.)
posted by nasreddin at 3:29 PM on June 19, 2009
posted by nasreddin at 3:29 PM on June 19, 2009
Individuals react very differently to surgical trauma, pain, and medication. Years ago, when I had both hip joints replaced a week apart, all I wanted to do when I got home from a month in the hospital (with 4+ feet of healing surgical scars, drains, and dressings) was to take percodan, hurt, and sleep fitfully in my recliner. I didn't want to be cared for (much less "cheered up" or "encouraged" or even "visited"), didn't want to eat, didn't want to do physical therapy, or even have my surgical wounds dressed. I generally stunk and was stubbly, as doing even daily spit baths was an insurmountable ordeal, and as I couldn't have cared less, really. 11 steps to the bathroom in my walker was an ordeal so grueling, that I preferred not to eat or drink, so as to have to do it as infrequently as possible, particularly as each such trip completely killed the effects of 2 percodan tablets. I was a bad patient, but, by God, I was as patient as I possibly could be with my SO, and the physical therapists, and visiting nurses who came by to care for me. But I was as miserable, for months, as ever I can imagine a person being, who remains sane.
The best thing you can do for a hurting sweetie, in my book, is to back way, way off, and see that the world does, too. Pull the phone plug, put all the mail in a bag in the corner, check out some good books from the library for yourself, and only open the front door to medically necessary caregivers. Expect nothing from the patient, in terms of gratitude, or emotional response until the patient is back at work (or his normal routine), for at least a couple of weeks. Maybe your sweetie/patient can muster a braver face, but in the dark of the 4th or 5th, or 40th or 50th, pain-filled, sleepless, endless, hurting night, don't be shocked by tears and sobs of misery for a broken body, and the thump of a hurled remote TV control against the wall. There's nothing to say or do, then, except keep breathing, and exist.
It's not what you do, or don't do, perhaps. It's just that, beyond a certian point, for some, misery does not love company. Misery, in fact, becomes just something you have to get through, by yourself, by whatever means necessary.
Here's hoping your fella has a much easier time of it. Here's hoping you won't hold it against him, if he doesn't, and that you can wisely retreat in respect of pain that must be endured, even if, in every fiber of your being, you want to do something, if he does not want that. Even badly wounded men can be roused to irrational, yet deadly effective, self-defense, in the face of enough pain, exacerbated by cheerfully rendered, unrequested help.
posted by paulsc at 3:38 PM on June 19, 2009 [1 favorite]
The best thing you can do for a hurting sweetie, in my book, is to back way, way off, and see that the world does, too. Pull the phone plug, put all the mail in a bag in the corner, check out some good books from the library for yourself, and only open the front door to medically necessary caregivers. Expect nothing from the patient, in terms of gratitude, or emotional response until the patient is back at work (or his normal routine), for at least a couple of weeks. Maybe your sweetie/patient can muster a braver face, but in the dark of the 4th or 5th, or 40th or 50th, pain-filled, sleepless, endless, hurting night, don't be shocked by tears and sobs of misery for a broken body, and the thump of a hurled remote TV control against the wall. There's nothing to say or do, then, except keep breathing, and exist.
It's not what you do, or don't do, perhaps. It's just that, beyond a certian point, for some, misery does not love company. Misery, in fact, becomes just something you have to get through, by yourself, by whatever means necessary.
Here's hoping your fella has a much easier time of it. Here's hoping you won't hold it against him, if he doesn't, and that you can wisely retreat in respect of pain that must be endured, even if, in every fiber of your being, you want to do something, if he does not want that. Even badly wounded men can be roused to irrational, yet deadly effective, self-defense, in the face of enough pain, exacerbated by cheerfully rendered, unrequested help.
posted by paulsc at 3:38 PM on June 19, 2009 [1 favorite]
The different answers you're getting reflect that different people are different. You can ask him what he wants with regard to visitors, nurturing, doing chores, or whatever.
After I had surgery and couldn't move much, my sweetie set me up with most stuff I might want within arm's reach - we called it my nest. Arranged around the couch were:
- things to eat and drink
- pain pills
- a phone
- a laptop
- different things to read (a range of seriousness, from fluff magazines to novels to nonfiction. Try some weird things: when I was high on pain drugs, I got really into reading Euclid and reveling in the beauty of geometry.)
- remote control
- DVDs
- video games
- a lap desk/eating tray that I could use while keeping my laptop, etc off my abdomen
It's hard to eat after abdominal surgery, so stocking up on his favorite foods might help whet his appetite. On a related note, painkillers are constipating so getting some laxatives could also be good.
posted by medusa at 8:28 PM on June 19, 2009 [1 favorite]
After I had surgery and couldn't move much, my sweetie set me up with most stuff I might want within arm's reach - we called it my nest. Arranged around the couch were:
- things to eat and drink
- pain pills
- a phone
- a laptop
- different things to read (a range of seriousness, from fluff magazines to novels to nonfiction. Try some weird things: when I was high on pain drugs, I got really into reading Euclid and reveling in the beauty of geometry.)
- remote control
- DVDs
- video games
- a lap desk/eating tray that I could use while keeping my laptop, etc off my abdomen
It's hard to eat after abdominal surgery, so stocking up on his favorite foods might help whet his appetite. On a related note, painkillers are constipating so getting some laxatives could also be good.
posted by medusa at 8:28 PM on June 19, 2009 [1 favorite]
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posted by Neofelis at 12:00 PM on June 19, 2009