Can't we all just get along?
June 5, 2009 11:03 AM Subscribe
Another-Introducing-A-New-Cat-Filter. I know this has been asked many times before, but I have a wrinkle in introducing my sweet cat to my husband's cats....3 dogs. I have one dog and a young cat, Tillie (F). My husband has 2 dogs and two older cats, Nick (M) and Mona (F). We recently merged households. The dogs and cats all get along fine when my cat and his cats are separated. Now we are trying to integrate my cat into the mix.
As a new cat owner, I have no clue how to handle cats. I have read all of the advice on how to introduce new cats and have been following that advice closely. Since I moved into my husband's house, we have kept Tillie separated from the other cats in her own room. We have swapped the cats around from room to room on occasion so that they can smell each other. They all have their own litter boxes. We have made some attempts at supervised in-the-same-room introductions and made it a pleasant situation with treats and toys and petting.
BUT, on a few occasions, we have not been diligent about shutting doors completely and the cats have fought each time. And when the cats fight, the dogs go wild. They have not hurt the cats at all, but they get really pack-like and agitated and move in towards the cats. It's a little scary but I know how to handle dogs.
I just want us all to live together in harmony. It has been about a month and I don't feel like the "introducing cats" advice is working. Tillie is very afraid of Nick and Mona --and it seems she has good cause. Nick and Mona are pretty aggressive with her most of the time. Tillie just wants to run and hide and has no interest in fighting or being around them. Nick is an indoor/outdoor cat and gets into tussles with neighborhood cats on occasion. Mona is just kind of fat and bitchy in general. Both Nick and Mona are much bigger than Tillie.
I just tried a supervised same room visit between Nick and Tillie, since their last visit in the backyard went so well in that they did not seem to have much interest in each other and went about their respective cat business. So today, I played with Nick and Tillie with toys for awhile, but when we were done, Nick ran after Tillie threateningly. I stopped him before he could hurt Tillie, but he was so aggressive. I scooped Tillie up and got her the hell out of there. Last night, Mona lunged at the glass door to Tillie's room with her enormous girth when Tillie inadvertantly walked by it. NOT a good sign (and loud as hell).
I am afraid my very sweet and not-otherwise-scared-of-anything Tillie will get hurt by Nick and Mona and/or be traumatized and turn into a scaredy cat. I am also (albeit less) afraid the the dogs will get predatory with the distracted, fighting cats, who the dogs otherwise like, since cat fights make them very agitated.
When do cats just stop caring about each others' presence? Is there anything else I can do? Haven't gone the Feliway route yet and am skeptical that it will really work- any insights there? Should I separate the cats from the dogs (so the dogs don't jump into the fray) and just let the cats "work it out" on their own (although I must admit that the thought of my sweet Tillie going through this traumatizes me). What more can we do? What are we doing wrong?
As a new cat owner, I have no clue how to handle cats. I have read all of the advice on how to introduce new cats and have been following that advice closely. Since I moved into my husband's house, we have kept Tillie separated from the other cats in her own room. We have swapped the cats around from room to room on occasion so that they can smell each other. They all have their own litter boxes. We have made some attempts at supervised in-the-same-room introductions and made it a pleasant situation with treats and toys and petting.
BUT, on a few occasions, we have not been diligent about shutting doors completely and the cats have fought each time. And when the cats fight, the dogs go wild. They have not hurt the cats at all, but they get really pack-like and agitated and move in towards the cats. It's a little scary but I know how to handle dogs.
I just want us all to live together in harmony. It has been about a month and I don't feel like the "introducing cats" advice is working. Tillie is very afraid of Nick and Mona --and it seems she has good cause. Nick and Mona are pretty aggressive with her most of the time. Tillie just wants to run and hide and has no interest in fighting or being around them. Nick is an indoor/outdoor cat and gets into tussles with neighborhood cats on occasion. Mona is just kind of fat and bitchy in general. Both Nick and Mona are much bigger than Tillie.
I just tried a supervised same room visit between Nick and Tillie, since their last visit in the backyard went so well in that they did not seem to have much interest in each other and went about their respective cat business. So today, I played with Nick and Tillie with toys for awhile, but when we were done, Nick ran after Tillie threateningly. I stopped him before he could hurt Tillie, but he was so aggressive. I scooped Tillie up and got her the hell out of there. Last night, Mona lunged at the glass door to Tillie's room with her enormous girth when Tillie inadvertantly walked by it. NOT a good sign (and loud as hell).
I am afraid my very sweet and not-otherwise-scared-of-anything Tillie will get hurt by Nick and Mona and/or be traumatized and turn into a scaredy cat. I am also (albeit less) afraid the the dogs will get predatory with the distracted, fighting cats, who the dogs otherwise like, since cat fights make them very agitated.
When do cats just stop caring about each others' presence? Is there anything else I can do? Haven't gone the Feliway route yet and am skeptical that it will really work- any insights there? Should I separate the cats from the dogs (so the dogs don't jump into the fray) and just let the cats "work it out" on their own (although I must admit that the thought of my sweet Tillie going through this traumatizes me). What more can we do? What are we doing wrong?
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I'd like to say it all worked. One dog we ended up rehoming because she simply would NOT stop being aggressive to my dogs, and after a year with frights and then a horrid hospital bill for one of my dogs, we found her a new home with someone prepared for her - someone with no other animals.
My mom's cats (Lily - F and Tiger - M) have never been friendly with my cats. Even after 2 years. My cats are allowed out - hers aren't - though mine come in at night and I shut them in my room with me overnight. She tends to keep hers shut in her room during the day and let them out at night. Not super humane, but we found if we leave the doors all open at night, the cats wake us with hissing and growling at each other. They have not made friends. They have, however, gotten much better with each other, and sort of grudgingly accepted eachothers' presence. As for the dogs...well. Her dog is a tiny thing not interested in the cats. My two dogs (F and M, if it matters) do get excited when the cats hiss, but it's lessened over the last two years, and if we tsk at them they stop immediately. Otherwise they leave my mom's cats alone. My cats and dogs all sleep together, and groom each other, and get along great, of course. But her cats are freaked out by my dogs. As a result, they slink around all sneaky, and run a lot, and that makes it worse. The dogs think, "Oh, they're PLAYING! I better catch them!"
I doubt you can ever get past the excitement from the dogs about CATS HISSING AT EACHOTHER OMG. Getting the dogs out of the way would definitely help. I have heard good things about Feliway, but never tried it. You could try the towel experiment. It was originally mentioned by a dog trainer we knew in relation to introducing new dogs, and then a friend said it worked for her. You just have to do it constantly - every night, and do it for both cats, so they can get used to the smell.
Have you talked to your vet?
posted by routergirl at 11:17 AM on June 5, 2009