Help! I am in a professional crisis.
April 7, 2009 10:01 PM   Subscribe

I have been put on academic probation. What do I do next?

I am an Indian PhD student in philosophy at a US university. I came from India to the US three years ago to do a PhD in philosophy.I was recently told that I was put on probation for some pending work that I have accumulated over the last 1 and a 1/2 years. Actually, I have four incompletes and I have been given around 2-3 months to finish them. I feel like I have been struggling with the PhD ever since I came here--- partly because I wasn't prepared for this kind of work and partly because I couldn't adjust to the US culture. Academically, I particularly find the process of writing term papers quite stressful and have sort of come to dread writing them. Anyway, I am going through a huge professional crisis in my life right now. I have begun to question my abilities in philosophy. I have also begun to wonder if this is what I really want to do. I have found my life here terribly lonely and work-driven, although there were periods in between when I was happier.( I was dating someone at this time.) At another level, I have find living in the US more congenial to my personality than living in India. So basically I do not want to go back to India but I am afraid that is what I will have to do if I don't get off probation. I don't really have a question, but any insight into my situation, tips on how to handle it will be much appreciated. I am going through a hard time right now, so please be kind to me. :) Thanks.
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (21 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
 
Write the papers and get off probation. Then deal with the other stuff. The papers don't have to be your best work ever, just good enough to make up the requirements. It's ok to do that sometimes. Make a schedule and chain yourself to your desk for 4 hours per day until you get all the work done. Once that's off your mind everything else will be much easier to figure out. Perhaps you can transfer to another program or switch to a masters program and look for work?
posted by fshgrl at 10:05 PM on April 7, 2009 [1 favorite]


So you want to stay in the U.S., but you don't want to be a PhD student?

Your options are:
- Get married to an American citizen
- Get hired (good luck there)
- Get off probation

You don't mention if you completed your MA thesis. If you are anywhere NEAR completing it, try to do so in order to leave with that. As I understand it, the philosophy job market sucks.

If you feel compelled to stay in your program, I'd suggest going to student health and speaking to a therapist. A lot of grad students are depressed/unhappy and student health is used to dealing with this. But, consider the fact that your life's work will consist of doing exactly what you're doing now but under greater pressure and with more responsibilities.

If I were you and this unhappy, I'd get out.
posted by k8t at 10:11 PM on April 7, 2009


Ditto to k8t's suggestion of calling student health and seeking therapy. Many schools offer counseling at low or no cost to students for this sort of thing.

Academically, does your program or department offer tutoring services? Writing papers is difficult for many students, even into grad degrees. Is there an office that might be able to set you up with an English grad student or someone to help you through the process? I'm assuming that English is not your first language -- if this is in anyway a barrier, check to see if there is a support group or student services department dedicated to this project.

Don't procrastinate any more. Create a little schedule and try to stick to it, at least to show that you are trying to make progress, even if all you have at the end of your session is notes or outlines. Good luck.
posted by motsque at 10:28 PM on April 7, 2009


See a health center counselor.

It's ok if you don't do your thesis and go back to India. It is not a failure and it might make you happier in the long run. You will have learned about yourself.

It's also ok to plow through like fshgrl says and just get the work done even if it is not your best work. A sympathetic counselor will help you make sense of how you're feeling.

It is tough, even under the best circumstances, to do what you're doing, all the more so in a foreign country-- I know firsthand. Don't beat yourself up.

Do what you can and the pieces will fall into place.
posted by vincele at 10:32 PM on April 7, 2009


I have begun to question my abilities in philosophy.

You're not alone; this feeling is common in academia. Read up on impostor syndrome.
posted by zsazsa at 10:32 PM on April 7, 2009 [3 favorites]


other students would take a break for a while and forget about how much it sucks to write papers. But if you can't go home for a while, I don't know about your options for going somewhere else and taking a month off to recover (if you were in Canada instead I might know more about the policies in place, I work with a lot of Indians in academia). Talk to a professor or other students about strategies for helping you write papers, it's easy to feel lost without having someone giving you a bit of direction.

I think your best bet to feel better is to find a hobby and get your mind off those papers on a regular basis. Perhaps finding activities available within your local Indian community would be good, or get into a sport like racquetball (and work out that frustration!). Point is, you have to get off the computer once in a while because sitting at it all day is depressing and making the computer a toy instead of a tool is not helping your productivity. Get your fun somewhere else and then when you come back to your computer you will have a fresh mind.

And set up a schedule like fshgrl said - she's got good advice in there. If you force yourself to work for a short amount of time, just try to get words out on a page and don't worry about editing, then you can power through it. Use a timer and set an alarm for ten minutes, and keep working no matter how awful it is because it's only for ten minutes. Then do it again. Then write down how much you've worked and feel good about it, because it's something.

You need to become more strict with yourself, remember to schedule in both fun time and work time, and you will feel both more productive and more relaxed.
posted by lizbunny at 10:38 PM on April 7, 2009


Does your university have a writing center? If yes, take advantage of it. The writing center tutors should be trained to help you with your writing even before you've started writing—they should be able to give you ideas about how to approach the term paper assignments, how to organize your ideas, how to organize your writing time, etc.
posted by Orinda at 11:33 PM on April 7, 2009


Okay... I don't really know that much about academic visas, but if I understand it right don't you also have to go back to India even if you successfully finish the PhD? I mean, I still think that you should get off of the probation and forge onward in your academic career, but if I'm correct that's not going to achieve your stated objective of staying in the U.S.

And there's nothing wrong with wanting this, but if your main concern is to stay in the U.S. in the future, perhaps that's what you really want to be asking about here; and if you can map out a firm plan of how to remain here in the U.S. - like one of the options k8t talks about - perhaps doing so will take some of the stress off and allow you to deal with the academics.
posted by XMLicious at 11:36 PM on April 7, 2009


Does your university have an international students' office? They may be better able to explain your options and their consequences to you, and recommend a counselor who can deal with the cross-cultural issues.
posted by fairytale of los angeles at 11:37 PM on April 7, 2009


At most universities, there is a considerable support structure for graduate students, including various counselors and free mental health professionals if you're feeling the symptoms of depression. Make sure you take advantage of these resources; frequently, they can help you obtain more leeway with your academic department, especially if you are dealing with personal issues or excessive stress.

Lean on these resources and eke your way through the work you need to do to get off probation. Then, in a more relaxed setting, take the time to figure out what you want and your future steps.

Loneliness is a very common problem with international students, and it's a virtual certainty that others at your school are facing it as well. Your international student office should be able to provide you with information on clubs and organizations for international students (I'm sure there are is also a wide selection of options that don't focus on international students, if that's what you prefer) -- I strongly recommend you give those a try.
posted by Krrrlson at 11:38 PM on April 7, 2009 [1 favorite]


You need to prioritize. Do you hate writing papers more than you would hate going back to India? If not, then you need to sit down and get them done. You have two choices, really, sink or swim. It's up to you to decide which it is.

Good luck.
posted by The Light Fantastic at 11:43 PM on April 7, 2009


Many graduate programs do not themselves provide great support for students. So it's not surprising that you're stressed out.

4 incompletes in 1.5 years is something you need to work on, but you also need to work on the underlying behavior that's blocking / stressing you. For this ...

Seek out a therapist! Your school probably provides counseling to undergrad and grad students, use it! A good therapist can help you to get some perspective and work on your fears. This may allow you to work more freely on the tasks in front of you.

Find a regularly scheduled student homework / study group to join. This might help you with the discipline to get through your term papers.

Focus on your incompletes one at a time, make up a schedule of what you need to do for each, and make each task something you can do in a few days. Check off each as you finish it so you have a sense of your progress. Talk to your professors to make sure you know what you need to do, and give them updates and ask questions of them during office hours as needed.

Short summary:
1. take care of your well being: use the resources the school provides
2. find others to work alongside, if possible
3. break the big tasks (incompletes) into smaller ones and knock them out
4. communicate with your profs so you stay on track

Good luck!
posted by zippy at 12:03 AM on April 8, 2009 [1 favorite]


Man, I have been on this particular wheel (writing a PhD in a second language if I read you correctly), and it can be rough. Take advantage of all the excellent advice above, and don't hesitate to use the social and linguistic resources available to you. If the PhD is going to crash and burn try to salvage an MA out of your pre-existing work.

Good luck!
posted by Wolof at 12:14 AM on April 8, 2009


I went to a supposedly top-tier English PhD program, and the way we were treated was laughably bad.

That said, the humanities job market is horrible and has been for multiple decades now. You need to consider the somewhat counter-intuitive fact that a PhD is an "all or nothing" proposition. You might be the one out of two hundred or so who actually lands a tenure-track job, but chances are you won't, and you'll have over-qualified yourself to work in a field outside of academic philosophy.

Get the MA at least though. That won't hurt you. In my experience, an MA in English doesn't open any doors either, but it looks and sounds nice. And is some professional situations I simply leave it off my resume, lest I come off too nerdy/over-qualified.
posted by bardic at 12:51 AM on April 8, 2009


http://www.calnewport.com/blog/?p=275

Write the papers so you can do some stress-free soul searching afterwards.
posted by zeek321 at 2:12 AM on April 8, 2009


While I am tempted to answer with an Animal House like response of, "Road Trip", I am even more inclined to ask the philosophical question, wtf? You only want the easy parts of your life? Me too. Take a number. You need options at this point in your life and not writing the papers will only close the door to many options. Write the papers, do just enough to get the University off your back, then reassess what it is you want to do for the next 10 years.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 3:53 AM on April 8, 2009


Talk to your advisor/ professors you're writing the paper for and ask them to help you. Explain the situation: I have a lot of work and it's all due on this date. Could you help me make (artificial) deadlines to meet so I can make sure I get this done on time?

Break the work down, have fast-approaching deadlines for manageable chunks, and stick to it. Once you've fulfilled those obligations to the school, it may be easier to think through your personal stuff.
posted by thewestinggame at 5:34 AM on April 8, 2009


I agree with all of the good advice above regarding taking advantage of campus resources to help you through this rough patch. Feeling isolated and lonely is a very common problem among graduate students.

However, I must address something that you said in your question:

Academically, I particularly find the process of writing term papers quite stressful and have sort of come to dread writing them. Anyway, I am going through a huge professional crisis in my life right now. I have begun to question my abilities in philosophy. I have also begun to wonder if this is what I really want to do. I have found my life here terribly lonely and work-driven, although there were periods in between when I was happier.( I was dating someone at this time.)

This professional crisis may not be such a bad thing after all, if it forces you to take a cold, hard look at this career choice. Its possible that you are just hitting a rough patch and need some support to see you through it. But its also possible that this career really isn't right for you. Let me be blunt:

You need to recognize exactly what it means to finish your PhD, get an academic job, and stay in the U.S. Being a humanities professor means that you will be writing "term papers" [e.g., books and articles] for a living. You will be expected to be completely self-motivated, to do so completely on your own, and in a much less structured environment than even grad school provides. You will likely have to do so while dealing with a heavy teaching load as well. And if you fail to complete them, the consequences will eventually be worse than academic probation. Unless you are a superstar who gets a fantastic job in the city of their choice, you will likely have to move to an entirely new location with no support network at all, possibly in a location that you do not like. In many cases (e.g. small rural college towns), dating may present significant challenges. It is a lonely, isolating, work-driven profession.

So you may just be hitting a rough patch; but you may also be recognizing that this isn't the life for you. And that's OK. Better to recognize it now than 5 years down the road.
posted by googly at 7:21 AM on April 8, 2009 [2 favorites]


What fshgrl said and this-

1. You have a 3 month deadline (be dead sure you are right on this one)? I would chalk out a plan to finish up the work in say, 1.5 months. Getting off probation is priority #1. I am not in humanities so I can only suggest some general points on what I would do in the situation. Be very specific on what your final goal is and what you are accomplishing each day (which should be realisitc as well) to reach that goal- and then stick to it!
2. Adjusting to a new country and people when you don't know a soul there can be difficult. Others have mentioned excellent advice on that one. In addition, looking forward to pursuing the things (since your priority #1 is work right now) you enjoyed back home in the US as well helps. What did you do to recharge yourself in India? Do you have hobbies you can enjoy here as well? And there's nothing like joining a new class on something thats out of your comfort zone. Opportunities here are limitless.
3. Going back to India (or anything else for that matter) is NOT the end of the world. Be careful about giving it so much importance that this becomes the sole reason for doing whatever you undertake in the future. k8t has good suggestions but please disregard point#1. If the PhD doesnt work out you can-
a. get a masters
b. switch univ/programs etc
Since you want to stay here and the philosophy job market is as bad as people mention, you may want to do some serious thinking on what it is that you eventually want to do. Even if you get off probabtion, you might want to do this before you end up spending 8 years in this program.

"You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you'll discover will be wonderful. What you'll discover is yourself."
posted by xm at 7:22 AM on April 8, 2009


Been there, done that. MefiMail me. Seriously.
posted by sk381 at 11:40 AM on April 8, 2009


I think that some version of this happens to everyone in a PhD programme at some point. In all honesty your situation doesn't sound so bad compared to some. I'll nth seeking out counseling and the writing programme if your school has one.

Of course this situation requires you to take a long hard look at whether or not you want to be doing a PhD in the first place, but if you decide that you do, then there should be resources at your disposal. There is no way in the world that you're the first person in your department to deal with such issues. If you decide that you don't want to pursue academia there's absolutely no shame in this decision. Best of luck.
posted by ob at 12:36 PM on April 8, 2009


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