Out obnoxiousing the obnoxious at work?

April 3, 2009 9:23 AM

I work with a guy in cubicleville who is paranoid and is a bit of a talking head. He insists on getting into every nook and crany of a project, and putting himself at the center of everything as much as possible.

On the other hand, I am more low key, and even if I tried, couldn't name-drop, chat up people people, and be as obnoxious as he ends up being. (I am trying to work on being more extroverted, but in the meantime, I get inundated with small tasks that make it difficult. To him, doing what he does almost comes naturally / with little effort.)

To his credit, he gets things done (and I do as well). But he's 30 years my senior so, for example, drafting a email that uses office-speak and doesn't step on anyone's toes comes quicker and easier to him. Often I find myself in constant catch-up mode and stressed that I have to try to keep up with his high-energy way of handling things.

What might be some good strategies to cope with that kind of environment? (I guess short-cuts to getting better at office speak and/or things that impress the boss in general might be a good start. Just trying to hold on to my sanity while dealing with/keeping up with everyone.)

posted by cha4 to Work & Money (10 answers total)

I'd advise you not to try to keep up with that guy - use him, instead. If he's got his finger in every single pie, he probably needs someone with a head for detail cleaning up after him. If you need someone to handle communication with someone, he'd probably be delighted (and flattered) to make the introductions.

If you're worried that he's getting credit for things you do, then you should focus on tracking, reporting, and CCing like mad - make sure every task you do ends up on a list your boss can see. You may actually have an easier time of it than he does when it comes down to review time - I'm a little more like him than you, and I spend a lot of my time being a go-between and smoothing the path, which is much harder to quantify than writing documents and making charts.

Both types of worker are vitally important - don't worry too much about not being both. But it is good to recognize the opposite skillset and take what you can from it, if possible.
posted by restless_nomad at 9:28 AM on April 3, 2009

I'm confused. You're an introvert who gets asked to handle a lot of details. In your office, there's a senior staffer who talks to people, gets things done, and is good at handling the political side of things. So, can you explain to me where the problem is? You don't like his suggestions? He gets more put on your plate than you can handle? You want to be the lead on something, and he's being seen as the lead?

As for getting better at office speak, you might check out this question I asked a long time ago about translating normal thoughts into office speak.
posted by salvia at 9:54 AM on April 3, 2009 [1 favorite]

Keep in mind that you're trying to compete with someone who has 30 years more experience than you. Although you should definitely try to excel and impress your superiors, doing so in the same way as your senior colleague could be problematic. You have a role in your company, and it's okay to step outside of that role a little, but don't try to be that other guy.
posted by Simon Barclay at 10:11 AM on April 3, 2009

There's some dissonance between your background and your actual question that makes it a bit tough to gauge what your looking for (as others have highlighted above).

OP Q: What might be some good strategies for coping in that type of environment?
A: Experience. The 'shortcut' to experience is to learn from others' experiences and to continually try/practice/repeat the things you want to be better at.

But back to the dissonance I was mentioning. Your post starts off talking about a person whose actions you find disconcerting, if not outright annoying. But then, unless I'm misreading the post, it seems you're asking how to be more like this person you disapprove of?
posted by forforf at 10:20 AM on April 3, 2009

Response by poster: You guys are right - I was not being very clear in my question - probably partly because of my own confusion.

I guess my question said differently might be: What I am seeing is that being very outspoken and constantly trying to position yourself to be the person who knows everything / is in the middle of it all and running the show (even if you know little and mostly are good at regurgitating every else's thoughts) often works. I don't think I could ever act that way, though I would like to be irreplaceable and be put in leadership rolls on tasks/projects. I figure there must be another means to reach the same end. And I feel like this guy's constant maneuvering throws me off my mojo, and I guess I'm trying to overcome that.

(restless_nomad I definitely think you might be on to something. salvia, thanks for the link. Everyone else, thank you as well.)
posted by cha4 at 11:17 AM on April 3, 2009

Experience counts for a lot, both in terms of what someone can do, and in terms of what expectations others have of that person. In this case, your senior colleague has 30 years more experience than you do; therefore, he can do more, and others recognize that he can do more (and expect if from him).

Your best bet is to befriend this person -- provided he is friendly with you -- and allow him to unofficially be your mentor. You will learn a lot from him. This knowledge will help you to slowly begin taking the same kind of importance that this guy has.

In summary, it's not fair of you to: (a) expect yourself to be as good as he is, and (b) expect others to give you the same type of respect/authority as they give him.
posted by Simon Barclay at 12:38 PM on April 3, 2009

even if you know little and mostly are good at regurgitating every else's thoughts

Note that many of the people who do the best work within a company don't create original products or ideas; they integrate them, and carry them through to completion in a form that is most beneficial to the company. Perhaps you, with your lack of experience, don't realize how much he is in fact contributing. I don't think you're giving this guy enough credit.
posted by Simon Barclay at 12:43 PM on April 3, 2009

I don't think I could ever act that way, though I would like to be irreplaceable and be put in leadership rolls on tasks/projects. I figure there must be another means to reach the same end. And I feel like this guy's constant maneuvering throws me off my mojo, and I guess I'm trying to overcome that.

Stop worrying so much about what the other guy is doing. If there's something you want to improve on, then do so, but don't try and match this guy blow for blow. Do things correctly, but do them in a way that works for you and you will be recognized on your own merits. Try and compete with a guy 30 years your senior on his own turf, and you'll get buried.
posted by The Light Fantastic at 3:17 PM on April 3, 2009

ask him to mentor you.
posted by apostrophe at 7:06 PM on April 3, 2009

I guess my question said differently might be: What I am seeing is that being very outspoken and constantly trying to position yourself to be the person who knows everything / is in the middle of it all and running the show (even if you know little and mostly are good at regurgitating every else's thoughts) often works. I don't think I could ever act that way, though I would like to be irreplaceable and be put in leadership rolls on tasks/projects. I figure there must be another means to reach the same end. And I feel like this guy's constant maneuvering throws me off my mojo, and I guess I'm trying to overcome that.

Here's how it goes:
- people start out smart and really competent with the details, like I'm assuming you are
- then they get promoted and they get super, super busy
- they realize that there is someone smart there who they can hand over some of the details to
- they feel insecure, like "I'm not actually DOING anything" since they're used to being on top of all the details
- they start to relax as they realize that even if they give all the technical details over to others to do, their entire day can still be taken up with reminding the detail-people what the purpose of all the details is, and connecting that detailed work to the detailed work happening in other departments, and getting funding to get the detailed work done
- to some new person, they look like all they do is talk all day and do nothing

So, my short answer is that even if you have no idea what they do, hang in there and eventually you'll become that person (assuming this person is a good manager and influential, and not just obnoxious and fake).
posted by salvia at 12:16 AM on April 4, 2009