How to get a male neighbor to cooperate with a female neighbor?
December 28, 2008 7:55 PM Subscribe
I have a condo in an area where parking is a major issue. We are all assigned the same amount of parking. I thought I was being helpful and shared my "extra" parking space, but somehow ended up being harrassed. As a single woman against two men, what should I do?
I am beyond puzzled. I live in an area where parking is just impossible. You get two parking spaces in my condo association, either your two-car garage or a one-car garage and a deeded parking space (I am single and have the one-car garage and a deeded parking space). There is also limited guest parking. Most of the owners use their garages for storage and hog up the guest parking.
When I moved in some guy living across the street introduced himself on the premise of being friendly, but what he really wanted was to find out that I was single and if he could use my deeded parking space. Against my better judgment I gave him access to my deeded parking space (I park in my garage) but I told him I would have guests and want to use it. He said "no problem". What a liar.
He gave MY parking space to his roommate (the guy who introduced himself is the homeowner) and whenever I wanted to have a guest, I had to "ask permission" of the roommate to use my parking space, and after a bit of time (I am a woman, they are two men), they got tired of my requests and stopped being available to move their car(s) when I had a guest (they simply wouldn't answer their door; whether I wanted to schedule in advance or ask them to move immediately). Shortly thereafter, the roommate starting harrassing me (I would park in my space (I was tired of asking permission) to save it when I was having a planned guest and he would let the air out of one of one my tires to punish me.
Keep in mind this MY parking space.
The roommate has done other nasty things I won't go into. I tried going to the homeowner but when he saw me coming he ran and hid in his house (I am shy; I am not going to force someone to talk to me). This makes me think he is aware of what is going on. I am a woman, I live alone, and don't have a man coming around on a regular basis and I think they have noticed this and are taking advantage.
What is a woman to do that has allowed two men to walk all over her, to regain control of what is hers, without continued harrassment? I just want to live in peace and use what I have paid for, without any hassle.
I am beyond puzzled. I live in an area where parking is just impossible. You get two parking spaces in my condo association, either your two-car garage or a one-car garage and a deeded parking space (I am single and have the one-car garage and a deeded parking space). There is also limited guest parking. Most of the owners use their garages for storage and hog up the guest parking.
When I moved in some guy living across the street introduced himself on the premise of being friendly, but what he really wanted was to find out that I was single and if he could use my deeded parking space. Against my better judgment I gave him access to my deeded parking space (I park in my garage) but I told him I would have guests and want to use it. He said "no problem". What a liar.
He gave MY parking space to his roommate (the guy who introduced himself is the homeowner) and whenever I wanted to have a guest, I had to "ask permission" of the roommate to use my parking space, and after a bit of time (I am a woman, they are two men), they got tired of my requests and stopped being available to move their car(s) when I had a guest (they simply wouldn't answer their door; whether I wanted to schedule in advance or ask them to move immediately). Shortly thereafter, the roommate starting harrassing me (I would park in my space (I was tired of asking permission) to save it when I was having a planned guest and he would let the air out of one of one my tires to punish me.
Keep in mind this MY parking space.
The roommate has done other nasty things I won't go into. I tried going to the homeowner but when he saw me coming he ran and hid in his house (I am shy; I am not going to force someone to talk to me). This makes me think he is aware of what is going on. I am a woman, I live alone, and don't have a man coming around on a regular basis and I think they have noticed this and are taking advantage.
What is a woman to do that has allowed two men to walk all over her, to regain control of what is hers, without continued harrassment? I just want to live in peace and use what I have paid for, without any hassle.
Towing would take care of the problem in the short term (and would certainly feel very satisfying), but might lead to further trouble and harassment. I certainly hope these people wouldn't resort to violence besides letting the air out of your tires, which is a little scary IMO.
Does your condo community have a management association or any body of authority to which you could submit a formal complaint? Bullies like this might be more inclined to back down if they feel you have some "muscle" behind you.
posted by chihiro at 8:06 PM on December 28, 2008
Does your condo community have a management association or any body of authority to which you could submit a formal complaint? Bullies like this might be more inclined to back down if they feel you have some "muscle" behind you.
posted by chihiro at 8:06 PM on December 28, 2008
I'm sure a lot of people are going to have a lot of helpful advice, but I think there's one thing you should think about: if they were women, or if you were a guy, what would you do?
I'm not trying to say that being a single women isn't intimidating when dealing with guys who have intimidated you -- I know it is. But, at the same time, you may have a better chance of handling the situation if you stop thinking of this as "woman struggling with men" (which you seem to mean that you're less strong, less powerful, more helpless than them) and instead think of this as "rightful owner versus a jerk who's chicken enough to run into his house to avoid a simple conversation."
posted by Ms. Saint at 8:07 PM on December 28, 2008 [3 favorites]
I'm not trying to say that being a single women isn't intimidating when dealing with guys who have intimidated you -- I know it is. But, at the same time, you may have a better chance of handling the situation if you stop thinking of this as "woman struggling with men" (which you seem to mean that you're less strong, less powerful, more helpless than them) and instead think of this as "rightful owner versus a jerk who's chicken enough to run into his house to avoid a simple conversation."
posted by Ms. Saint at 8:07 PM on December 28, 2008 [3 favorites]
I would write a letter to the guy telling him that you are going to need the use of your legally deeded parking space from now on. Tell him in no uncertain terms that anyone using that spot other than yourself or your guest will be towed, then post a restricted parking sign on the spot. If your neighbor gives you any guff at all - tell him that you are the legal owner of the spot and what you say goes. If he gives you any more trouble - get a lawyer to write you a letter telling him to back off. Save all correspondence, including phone messages in case you need to take this up a few notches. Finally - get a car alarm.
posted by The Light Fantastic at 8:08 PM on December 28, 2008 [17 favorites]
posted by The Light Fantastic at 8:08 PM on December 28, 2008 [17 favorites]
I can see why your neighbor and/or their roommate might be mad. The roommate may have agreed to move in under the premise that they "had" your parking space. Regardless, you didn't sign anything agreeing to give them your spot. Their hostility is quite unwarranted and a poor way of dealing with the problem.
Does your condo neighborhood have an office or an association you could go to? Is calling the police an option? If you do either of these, I would try saying something to the homeowner one more time, either in person or by note, then if it continues call in an authority. You'll want to have a incident you can refer to where you made it clear that you did not want them parking there anymore. Otherwise they can take the "I didn't know she wanted it back" route. It'll be easier if the person's car is in your spot at the time the authority arrives.
Do any of the "nasty things" qualify as threats, assault, or vandalism? If so, the law might be the best way to go, though it would be difficult to prove. If the harassment continues, a restraining order is always an option.
You seem to have the right attitude by wanting to just get back what's yours- not get even. Good luck. I hate dealing with jerks too.
posted by JuiceBoxHero at 8:11 PM on December 28, 2008
Does your condo neighborhood have an office or an association you could go to? Is calling the police an option? If you do either of these, I would try saying something to the homeowner one more time, either in person or by note, then if it continues call in an authority. You'll want to have a incident you can refer to where you made it clear that you did not want them parking there anymore. Otherwise they can take the "I didn't know she wanted it back" route. It'll be easier if the person's car is in your spot at the time the authority arrives.
Do any of the "nasty things" qualify as threats, assault, or vandalism? If so, the law might be the best way to go, though it would be difficult to prove. If the harassment continues, a restraining order is always an option.
You seem to have the right attitude by wanting to just get back what's yours- not get even. Good luck. I hate dealing with jerks too.
posted by JuiceBoxHero at 8:11 PM on December 28, 2008
Response by poster: Towing is very easy for the owner's in my complex. I literally need just pick up the phone. I am trying to be kind (please don't laugh). I want a peaceful existence here and if I tow them, based on how they're treating me when they have permission, I am more than a little concerned about my future here if I tow them. It it ends up I need to be really harsh, then I guess I will have to do that.
posted by Annashouse at 8:11 PM on December 28, 2008
posted by Annashouse at 8:11 PM on December 28, 2008
For best possible resolution suggestions, could you tell us:
a) Do you own or rent your condo?
b) Are the two men who live across the street in your condo development, too?
c) Did you enter into a written contractual agreement about the parking space with the other homeowner?
d) If you own, do your CC&Rs stipulate parking provisions and penalties for violations?
e) Would your condo board take action against the "wrongful parkers" if you complained? and
f) Do you have evidence that the roommate has committed property crimes against you? If so, have you reported these to the police and your condo association?
posted by terranova at 8:12 PM on December 28, 2008
a) Do you own or rent your condo?
b) Are the two men who live across the street in your condo development, too?
c) Did you enter into a written contractual agreement about the parking space with the other homeowner?
d) If you own, do your CC&Rs stipulate parking provisions and penalties for violations?
e) Would your condo board take action against the "wrongful parkers" if you complained? and
f) Do you have evidence that the roommate has committed property crimes against you? If so, have you reported these to the police and your condo association?
posted by terranova at 8:12 PM on December 28, 2008
I am a shy woman, too, so I sort of understand how you feel about this. Here's what I would do:
STOP TRYING TO BE KIND.
Send both of these men a letter indicating that you are no longer able to share your deeded space with them, no explanation as to why. In the letter say that you will have to have their cars towed if they continue to use the space. Also say that if anything happens to your car in retaliation for this (letting air out of tires, etc.), you will contact the police. You should also contact the police anyway preemptively via the non-emergency number to check out all your options.
Follow up in person to make sure they received the letter. Be civil but not friendly. Give no explanation for your change of mind, simply confirm that they are aware of the change.
Contact the police and/or towing company as needed. To regain control of this situation, you need to take control of it. They won't give up until you get tough.
posted by Meg_Murry at 8:13 PM on December 28, 2008 [12 favorites]
STOP TRYING TO BE KIND.
Send both of these men a letter indicating that you are no longer able to share your deeded space with them, no explanation as to why. In the letter say that you will have to have their cars towed if they continue to use the space. Also say that if anything happens to your car in retaliation for this (letting air out of tires, etc.), you will contact the police. You should also contact the police anyway preemptively via the non-emergency number to check out all your options.
Follow up in person to make sure they received the letter. Be civil but not friendly. Give no explanation for your change of mind, simply confirm that they are aware of the change.
Contact the police and/or towing company as needed. To regain control of this situation, you need to take control of it. They won't give up until you get tough.
posted by Meg_Murry at 8:13 PM on December 28, 2008 [12 favorites]
If your condo association has some sort of management company then definitely file a complaint with them. I used to be on the board of my condo association, and we were able to levy fines against residents who broke the rules, with escalating consequences if the fines weren't paid or the problems continued. If it gets personal from that point then I agree you need to call the cops. Having a paper trail with the association will only help. Also, is there another neighbor or someone you trust so you have back-up if you need it?
posted by apricot at 8:17 PM on December 28, 2008
posted by apricot at 8:17 PM on December 28, 2008
Nowhere does it say you've told them they can't use the parking space anymore. You have done that, haven't you? Nowhere has it said you've done that. Before you get into towing or other nasty stuff, I would steel myself, go and knock on their door, and tell them they can't use it anymore. If you feel you need to make an excuse, tell them you're planning to rent it out.
Then I'd rent it out. So they can't park in it.
posted by dydecker at 8:19 PM on December 28, 2008 [1 favorite]
Then I'd rent it out. So they can't park in it.
posted by dydecker at 8:19 PM on December 28, 2008 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: I am very pleased to get such helpful responses so quickly. To answer terranova:
I own my condo.
Yes, the two men across the street live in my condo development. One owns his condo, the other is his roommate. At one time, as the homeowner, I thought he might be concerned about the extra curricular activities of his roommate, but I have since concluded he is a common ass.
The CC&R's provide for the ability to tow anyone from a deeded parking space you own, on demand, with just a phone call. Having given them permission in the past to park, I'd feel like a jerk resorting to that. Plus I have to live here.
The roommate's behavior is hard to define as harrassment if you were to call the police. Its like pornography. YOU know what it is, I know what it is, but is hard to define under the law. He'll have a party when the homeowner is away for the night, and leave trash from the party in front of my garage (of course, it could have been one of his guests, but I KNOW it was him). He slams the dumpster outside of my bedroom window and yells "fuck you" up at me at 2:00 in the morning (when no one is around to see or hear him) and does this nightly. He's gotten his friends to participate in these actions. They block my garage and don't answer their door so I have nowhere to park.
Honestly parking is such a problem here I wanted to help out, but I wish I had never met them.
posted by Annashouse at 8:28 PM on December 28, 2008
I own my condo.
Yes, the two men across the street live in my condo development. One owns his condo, the other is his roommate. At one time, as the homeowner, I thought he might be concerned about the extra curricular activities of his roommate, but I have since concluded he is a common ass.
The CC&R's provide for the ability to tow anyone from a deeded parking space you own, on demand, with just a phone call. Having given them permission in the past to park, I'd feel like a jerk resorting to that. Plus I have to live here.
The roommate's behavior is hard to define as harrassment if you were to call the police. Its like pornography. YOU know what it is, I know what it is, but is hard to define under the law. He'll have a party when the homeowner is away for the night, and leave trash from the party in front of my garage (of course, it could have been one of his guests, but I KNOW it was him). He slams the dumpster outside of my bedroom window and yells "fuck you" up at me at 2:00 in the morning (when no one is around to see or hear him) and does this nightly. He's gotten his friends to participate in these actions. They block my garage and don't answer their door so I have nowhere to park.
Honestly parking is such a problem here I wanted to help out, but I wish I had never met them.
posted by Annashouse at 8:28 PM on December 28, 2008
I can understand being concerned about retaliation, but as a woman, we are always so worried about being "nice" and not being thought of as a bitch that sometimes things get the better of us. Yes, they are taking advantage of the fact that you don't have someone around to come to your defense.
You have NO REASON to be kind here. They are being complete assholes.
1) The paper trail. Send a letter, and cc an attorney - MAKE UP A NAME if you don't have an attorney. Make it Bob Smith, Esq. It doesn't have to be a real attorney. Just say, the informal courtesy you had offered to extend is now revoked and they have no rights to park in your space. Nthing the mention of any further retaliatory actions such as... (list in detail, including dates, the things that have already happened) will mean that you will contact the police.
Name an effective date two days after you plan on sending the letter and that after that time you will be calling to have any cars in your space towed.
If they're part of your condo (not sure from your note) then cc the management company.
2) Don't follow up in person. Send the letter certified, return receipt. Do not go over there alone. as you've already mentioned, they're avoiding you.
I understand what it's like to live in a place where parking is difficult. I had a situation years ago where I had no use for my second space, like you, and got hijacked the day I moved in - "would it be possible if we just parked in your second space if only if there was nothing on the street, we're gone very early in the morning and home very late at night, it really won't happen that often" - this turned into them being in MY spot underneath the carport EVERY DAY.
In my case I was lucky in that my landlady had already been through this and was willing to write a letter saying that the second space was only for use by another resident of the apartment.
Again, do not approach them in person unless you have someone who can stand up with you. It's stupid and unfair that it has to be that way, but clearly these guys are assholes who are just taking advantage of the situation.
posted by micawber at 8:31 PM on December 28, 2008 [4 favorites]
You have NO REASON to be kind here. They are being complete assholes.
1) The paper trail. Send a letter, and cc an attorney - MAKE UP A NAME if you don't have an attorney. Make it Bob Smith, Esq. It doesn't have to be a real attorney. Just say, the informal courtesy you had offered to extend is now revoked and they have no rights to park in your space. Nthing the mention of any further retaliatory actions such as... (list in detail, including dates, the things that have already happened) will mean that you will contact the police.
Name an effective date two days after you plan on sending the letter and that after that time you will be calling to have any cars in your space towed.
If they're part of your condo (not sure from your note) then cc the management company.
2) Don't follow up in person. Send the letter certified, return receipt. Do not go over there alone. as you've already mentioned, they're avoiding you.
I understand what it's like to live in a place where parking is difficult. I had a situation years ago where I had no use for my second space, like you, and got hijacked the day I moved in - "would it be possible if we just parked in your second space if only if there was nothing on the street, we're gone very early in the morning and home very late at night, it really won't happen that often" - this turned into them being in MY spot underneath the carport EVERY DAY.
In my case I was lucky in that my landlady had already been through this and was willing to write a letter saying that the second space was only for use by another resident of the apartment.
Again, do not approach them in person unless you have someone who can stand up with you. It's stupid and unfair that it has to be that way, but clearly these guys are assholes who are just taking advantage of the situation.
posted by micawber at 8:31 PM on December 28, 2008 [4 favorites]
On preview, yelling threats at 2am is something you can call the police on.
posted by micawber at 8:33 PM on December 28, 2008 [6 favorites]
posted by micawber at 8:33 PM on December 28, 2008 [6 favorites]
Response by poster: I actually have told them no more parking in the space. I went to the homeowner, gave no reason, and indicated I wanted the space back full time. I was told "no problem". I park there most nights (hence I have to check my tires regularly) and when I park in my garage, they wait for me to go to bed and park there when the lights go out (how dumb to you have to be to think that just because someone turns their lights out they've gone to bed?)
I resent that when I use something that is mine, I have to be wary about it. I WANTED to help out, parking is such a bitch here, I just wanted to be able to use my space occasionally when I had visitors, WHY do they have to be such jerks about that?
I actually considered renting it. Really. But as the "landlord" I couldn't sleep nights if I had to worry about my tenant being harrassed.
posted by Annashouse at 8:35 PM on December 28, 2008
I resent that when I use something that is mine, I have to be wary about it. I WANTED to help out, parking is such a bitch here, I just wanted to be able to use my space occasionally when I had visitors, WHY do they have to be such jerks about that?
I actually considered renting it. Really. But as the "landlord" I couldn't sleep nights if I had to worry about my tenant being harrassed.
posted by Annashouse at 8:35 PM on December 28, 2008
So, you've told them verbally? Now put it in writing. Something to the effect of "As we discussed on [date], I am no longer able to share my deeded space with you. You confirmed at that time that this would not be a problem. However, in the time since that discussion, you have continued to park in the space. This letter is to notify you that I will have your car(s) towed if I see that you have parked in my space."
Then, follow through. Turn out your lights, they park, you call the towing company.
I understand that you have to live next to these guys, but you're being way too nice. You tried "nice" and it didn't work because your neighbors are jerks. Now try to be civil and fair, but stand up for yourself!
Also, call the police and ask them about it before you assume they can't do anything about your neighbors' harassing behavior. Your neighbors are behaving in a threatening way. At least ask the police if they can do something about it.
posted by Meg_Murry at 8:44 PM on December 28, 2008 [5 favorites]
Then, follow through. Turn out your lights, they park, you call the towing company.
I understand that you have to live next to these guys, but you're being way too nice. You tried "nice" and it didn't work because your neighbors are jerks. Now try to be civil and fair, but stand up for yourself!
Also, call the police and ask them about it before you assume they can't do anything about your neighbors' harassing behavior. Your neighbors are behaving in a threatening way. At least ask the police if they can do something about it.
posted by Meg_Murry at 8:44 PM on December 28, 2008 [5 favorites]
It doesn't sound like you have any legal obligation to let them keep using it. If you have signed something, this probably doesn't apply. Get a lawyer.
First, nothing you can do here, short of physically harming them or damaging their property, makes you a jerk. You are in the right, and they are in the wrong. This isn't a gray area. You said "sure, with these conditions"; they aren't following the conditions; ergo, they have already violated the contract and any (lawful) action on your part of justified both ethically, morally, and legally.
You keep talking about being a woman, and these are two men, etc. Are you feeling physically threatened? If you're feeling unsafe, or feel like they're going to escalate to violence against you, then you're up shit creek. There's no way to solve this without some sort of conflict--they're going to feel wronged, I assure you, regardless of whether they have any right to. In fact, they already do. In this situation, I think your options are either to submit or move. I suppose you could go ahead and confront, and then carry a weapon (probably my approach, IIWY).
So, now, assuming that you don't think they're going to hurt you (they seem very passive aggressive so far), then here's what I'd do:
1) Write a letter saying something along the lines of "You are no longer welcome to use my parking place. As the legal tenant of the space, I will undertake all lawful action necessary to defend my right to the parking space. Please do not park there again. If you do continue to park there, the condo association will be notified that there's an unauthorized car in my spot, and your car will be towed. Further vandalism of my car will be met with legal action, including a police report naming you specifically." Put it under their door, or under the wiper of their car. Resist the urge to dip the paper in urine before delivering it.
2) If they park there again, call the condo association. Tell them somebody's in your spot and you are having guests over and would like it cleared immediately. You don't really need to be having guests over; do it the first time you see the car. See what they do about it.
3) Repeat this as necessary. I assume that after paying $150+ just once, they'll stop.
4) Is there anything to lock something to? You could lock tire deflation strips into the space. You'd have to move them when you need to use it, but that's easier than moving their car.
5) Document any more vandalism done to your car. Document the harassment. If you can see the car from your windows, leave a video camera on it all night.
posted by Netzapper at 8:45 PM on December 28, 2008 [1 favorite]
First, nothing you can do here, short of physically harming them or damaging their property, makes you a jerk. You are in the right, and they are in the wrong. This isn't a gray area. You said "sure, with these conditions"; they aren't following the conditions; ergo, they have already violated the contract and any (lawful) action on your part of justified both ethically, morally, and legally.
You keep talking about being a woman, and these are two men, etc. Are you feeling physically threatened? If you're feeling unsafe, or feel like they're going to escalate to violence against you, then you're up shit creek. There's no way to solve this without some sort of conflict--they're going to feel wronged, I assure you, regardless of whether they have any right to. In fact, they already do. In this situation, I think your options are either to submit or move. I suppose you could go ahead and confront, and then carry a weapon (probably my approach, IIWY).
So, now, assuming that you don't think they're going to hurt you (they seem very passive aggressive so far), then here's what I'd do:
1) Write a letter saying something along the lines of "You are no longer welcome to use my parking place. As the legal tenant of the space, I will undertake all lawful action necessary to defend my right to the parking space. Please do not park there again. If you do continue to park there, the condo association will be notified that there's an unauthorized car in my spot, and your car will be towed. Further vandalism of my car will be met with legal action, including a police report naming you specifically." Put it under their door, or under the wiper of their car. Resist the urge to dip the paper in urine before delivering it.
2) If they park there again, call the condo association. Tell them somebody's in your spot and you are having guests over and would like it cleared immediately. You don't really need to be having guests over; do it the first time you see the car. See what they do about it.
3) Repeat this as necessary. I assume that after paying $150+ just once, they'll stop.
4) Is there anything to lock something to? You could lock tire deflation strips into the space. You'd have to move them when you need to use it, but that's easier than moving their car.
5) Document any more vandalism done to your car. Document the harassment. If you can see the car from your windows, leave a video camera on it all night.
posted by Netzapper at 8:45 PM on December 28, 2008 [1 favorite]
I think your strongest ally is the condo board/association. Make sure they know that you are having trouble with these guys. Tell them everything, they should help you. Then it's not just you against them, the condo association is on your side too.
posted by lee at 8:46 PM on December 28, 2008 [2 favorites]
posted by lee at 8:46 PM on December 28, 2008 [2 favorites]
I would second the suggestion of sending the letter certified with return receipt so you have proof that they received it. Also, is it possible to have a security camera added somewhere? Even if it was just a decoy and not actually working, it might be enough to prevent the roommate from retaliation.
posted by Ugh at 8:55 PM on December 28, 2008
posted by Ugh at 8:55 PM on December 28, 2008
Best answer: They will almost certainly continue to harass you until you stop being nice.
posted by mediareport at 8:57 PM on December 28, 2008 [5 favorites]
posted by mediareport at 8:57 PM on December 28, 2008 [5 favorites]
5) Document any more vandalism done to your car. Document the harassment.
That's key. Keep a journal just for this and write down EVERYTHING that happens. Honestly, you really should have called your condo association long ago; you're not alone in this. Telling the association the full story as you see it should be the first thing you do after you get up tomorrow morning. This is exactly what the association is there for.
posted by mediareport at 9:04 PM on December 28, 2008 [3 favorites]
That's key. Keep a journal just for this and write down EVERYTHING that happens. Honestly, you really should have called your condo association long ago; you're not alone in this. Telling the association the full story as you see it should be the first thing you do after you get up tomorrow morning. This is exactly what the association is there for.
posted by mediareport at 9:04 PM on December 28, 2008 [3 favorites]
He slams the dumpster outside of my bedroom window and yells "fuck you" up at me at 2:00 in the morning.
People do not do this randomly to their neighbors. There seems to be something that has transpired negatively before that we do not know about (I could be wrong, but that is just bizarre), especially since they said 'no problem' when you told them they couldn't park there anymore.
And do they just sit in their car waiting until you go to bed to 'get' your parking space? That seems not worth the time wasted, and a little nutso.
Lastly, I believe letting the air out of your tires is vandalism, and cops should be called.
There may be bad blood between you, they may be on drugs or psychotic. Whatever is going on seems unnaturally escalated, so do keep things documented and use the CC&R as much as possible.
and please remember, women can be extraordinarily powerful.
posted by Vaike at 9:25 PM on December 28, 2008 [3 favorites]
People do not do this randomly to their neighbors. There seems to be something that has transpired negatively before that we do not know about (I could be wrong, but that is just bizarre), especially since they said 'no problem' when you told them they couldn't park there anymore.
And do they just sit in their car waiting until you go to bed to 'get' your parking space? That seems not worth the time wasted, and a little nutso.
Lastly, I believe letting the air out of your tires is vandalism, and cops should be called.
There may be bad blood between you, they may be on drugs or psychotic. Whatever is going on seems unnaturally escalated, so do keep things documented and use the CC&R as much as possible.
and please remember, women can be extraordinarily powerful.
posted by Vaike at 9:25 PM on December 28, 2008 [3 favorites]
Repeating what Netzapper said. You need to have a camera pointing to your parking space. Get the camera set up BEFORE you call the towing company. Since you believe they have already vandalized your car, you would be wise to assume they may do this (or worse) again.
posted by marsha56 at 9:26 PM on December 28, 2008
posted by marsha56 at 9:26 PM on December 28, 2008
Also, if they park in front of your garage take a picture of it. If you don't have a digital camera, go buy a disposable one for this very purpose.
posted by aburd at 9:43 PM on December 28, 2008
posted by aburd at 9:43 PM on December 28, 2008
Beyond the car situation, this sounds really scary. I really feel for you. I would start by addressing the harassment. This guy seems a little nutso.
Document all the past events with this guy. Document all future events -- photograph the cars blocking your driveway, audio and/or videotape the 'fuck you' 2am stuff. Send copies to the condo association. Find out who the condo association board members, especially the president, are ASAP and go to their condo(s) and talk to them about what is going on. Maybe they even live near you and hear this stuff too? Also, do you have any other neighbors who might hear/see what is going on? If so, ask them if they have heard/seen anything in the past and if so if they could document it and ask them to keep an eye on your house/you in the future. Similarly,If you are frightened and there is a particular night of the week that this happens, ask a friend to stay the night with you to be a witness and some emotional support.
IANAL, but I feel like someone with more knowledge than me could suggest some more steps for you to address this aspect of the situation.
HUGS from a far.
posted by k8t at 9:46 PM on December 28, 2008
Document all the past events with this guy. Document all future events -- photograph the cars blocking your driveway, audio and/or videotape the 'fuck you' 2am stuff. Send copies to the condo association. Find out who the condo association board members, especially the president, are ASAP and go to their condo(s) and talk to them about what is going on. Maybe they even live near you and hear this stuff too? Also, do you have any other neighbors who might hear/see what is going on? If so, ask them if they have heard/seen anything in the past and if so if they could document it and ask them to keep an eye on your house/you in the future. Similarly,If you are frightened and there is a particular night of the week that this happens, ask a friend to stay the night with you to be a witness and some emotional support.
IANAL, but I feel like someone with more knowledge than me could suggest some more steps for you to address this aspect of the situation.
HUGS from a far.
posted by k8t at 9:46 PM on December 28, 2008
Response by poster: I agree with Valike that neighbors do not randomly start slamming dumpsters at 2:00 am and yelling unpleasant things up at you. I started taking the parking space for myself when it was available and I knew I was going to be having a guest (say, the next day) and I had stopped asking permission. This was before I asked them not to park there anymore. I would just take it at random. This wasn't nice, but I was tired of them not answering their door when I wanted to use it, and frankly I was tired of having to ask permission to use my own property and be ignored. This is passive aggressive for sure, and my closest attempt to stop "being nice". And thats when the roommate's behavior got nasty. The homeowner didn't seem to want to talk to me, plus me being shy, led to where I am at now.
As far as them continuing to park there, they park out on the main street, and go to the trouble of moving their car to my space after I've turned the lights out. It seems like a lot of work for them, but that seems to be what they want to do. Currently they are upset (I assume) because I do not appear to NEED my parking space daily (when I park there, they know my garage sits empty) and they do desperately need it (although cleaning out their own garage would solve a lot of their issues).
As far as drugs, thats a possibility. The roommate seemed like "a real nice kid" when I first moved in, and I never would have thought he'd end up being such a nasty jerk. Over a freakin parking space.
posted by Annashouse at 9:50 PM on December 28, 2008
As far as them continuing to park there, they park out on the main street, and go to the trouble of moving their car to my space after I've turned the lights out. It seems like a lot of work for them, but that seems to be what they want to do. Currently they are upset (I assume) because I do not appear to NEED my parking space daily (when I park there, they know my garage sits empty) and they do desperately need it (although cleaning out their own garage would solve a lot of their issues).
As far as drugs, thats a possibility. The roommate seemed like "a real nice kid" when I first moved in, and I never would have thought he'd end up being such a nasty jerk. Over a freakin parking space.
posted by Annashouse at 9:50 PM on December 28, 2008
Response by poster: I just want to say I appreciate the quick responses I've received, and will look at my own behavior in addition to deciding how to proceed.
posted by Annashouse at 9:54 PM on December 28, 2008
posted by Annashouse at 9:54 PM on December 28, 2008
Buy a beater and park it there permanently.
posted by gt2 at 10:09 PM on December 28, 2008 [4 favorites]
posted by gt2 at 10:09 PM on December 28, 2008 [4 favorites]
(While I think you should go ahead with towing, documentation, etc., my twisting, devious answer would be:
I would also actually start to use your garage for partial storage and occasional guest parking (do it right and there will be room for both), park on the street, and keep them from feeling irrationally justified for parking in your space. It might then make sense to them and they can let go, and forget all about it. Like training a dog...)
I am a homeowner as well, and know it takes a bit of finagling to be as safe as you can possibly be, like a magician, change their perception of what is.
posted by Vaike at 10:10 PM on December 28, 2008
I would also actually start to use your garage for partial storage and occasional guest parking (do it right and there will be room for both), park on the street, and keep them from feeling irrationally justified for parking in your space. It might then make sense to them and they can let go, and forget all about it. Like training a dog...)
I am a homeowner as well, and know it takes a bit of finagling to be as safe as you can possibly be, like a magician, change their perception of what is.
posted by Vaike at 10:10 PM on December 28, 2008
One thing that is important: in your written communications with them, do not admit that you ever agreed to let them use your parking space on an unrestricted basis. If it comes to any legal action, that could place you at a disadvantage. If you must communicate in writing say something like "I agreed to let you use my parking space on a temporary basis, but you have continued to use it despite my notifying you that I needed it again. I did not agree that the space could be used by you on an ongoing basis. You have prevented the space being available for my visitors, which is counter to the short-term use that we discussed initially."
I also second getting a webcam installed, that points at your parking space. Record what is happening, with a timestamp if possible. You do need evidence that your car or tires are being vandalized by someone specific, for the police to take action.
posted by Susurration at 10:14 PM on December 28, 2008
I also second getting a webcam installed, that points at your parking space. Record what is happening, with a timestamp if possible. You do need evidence that your car or tires are being vandalized by someone specific, for the police to take action.
posted by Susurration at 10:14 PM on December 28, 2008
Also, you can get their car towed when they park in front of your garage.
posted by Monday at 10:16 PM on December 28, 2008
posted by Monday at 10:16 PM on December 28, 2008
Get your condo association involved. The association has the ability to bring a much larger force to this problem. You pay your condo fees for more than just a lawn mowing service.
If it were me, I would tow their car out of my parking space and out of the way of my garage each and every time this is a problem. They will get tired of getting their car out of hock.
posted by Foam Pants at 11:21 PM on December 28, 2008 [1 favorite]
If it were me, I would tow their car out of my parking space and out of the way of my garage each and every time this is a problem. They will get tired of getting their car out of hock.
posted by Foam Pants at 11:21 PM on December 28, 2008 [1 favorite]
Best answer: These guys sound like fucking idiots. If I were you, I'd relax. Talk to your neighbors about your problem. Get a little circle of friends going on in the neighborhood and hey, at the end of the day, if they're going to sneak in your parking spot at night, it's better than them slashing your tires at night, which frankly, is what fucking idiots are prone to do when provoked.
Maybe I'm speaking out of turn here, but don't end up being the letter writer, the person that goes to the authorities, or the person that sits at home and looks at their tv monitor all night which is plugged into a security camera of the front door. (I had a roommate that used to do that.) This gives your opposition far too much credence. Frankly, these are fucking idiots you are dealing with here, no "official action" you may take is going to straighten them out. You just need a helping hand. Fucking idiots can be good as the singling out/harassement game and sometimes need to be re-educated by bigger assholes about what it might take for them to continue living happily in a society.
So! Be patient and share your problems with others. You never know! I, for example, just got an aluminum baseball bat for Christmas..
posted by phaedon at 12:31 AM on December 29, 2008
Maybe I'm speaking out of turn here, but don't end up being the letter writer, the person that goes to the authorities, or the person that sits at home and looks at their tv monitor all night which is plugged into a security camera of the front door. (I had a roommate that used to do that.) This gives your opposition far too much credence. Frankly, these are fucking idiots you are dealing with here, no "official action" you may take is going to straighten them out. You just need a helping hand. Fucking idiots can be good as the singling out/harassement game and sometimes need to be re-educated by bigger assholes about what it might take for them to continue living happily in a society.
So! Be patient and share your problems with others. You never know! I, for example, just got an aluminum baseball bat for Christmas..
posted by phaedon at 12:31 AM on December 29, 2008
Letting air out of someone's tires is illegal.
Hijacking a parking space is arguably illegal.
Threats and even intimidation can be illegal.
Threaten legal action in writing and have the cops on speed-dial. You shouldn't have to deal with this.
posted by koeselitz at 12:51 AM on December 29, 2008
Hijacking a parking space is arguably illegal.
Threats and even intimidation can be illegal.
Threaten legal action in writing and have the cops on speed-dial. You shouldn't have to deal with this.
posted by koeselitz at 12:51 AM on December 29, 2008
phaedon: Maybe I'm speaking out of turn here, but don't end up being the letter writer, the person that goes to the authorities, or the person that sits at home and looks at their tv monitor all night which is plugged into a security camera of the front door. (I had a roommate that used to do that.) This gives your opposition far too much credence. Frankly, these are fucking idiots you are dealing with here, no "official action" you may take is going to straighten them out.
I've had roommates that were obsessive about stupid things. I've had roommates with whom I fought over parking spaces. Yes, it's silly when people are petty and stalk around the neighborhood trying to prove a point.
This, my friend, is a completely different situation. If she were dealing with guys who complained a lot and made life a little tough, well, maybe that'd be one thing. But this isn't one of those "everybody calm down and compromise"-type situations; it stopped being that when there was emptying of tires and what sound to have been some kind of threat.
Frankly, when people are letting air out of tires, nothing besides "official action" will do any damned good. If they were willing to let air out of tires to prove a point, what will happen when Annashouse has the audacity to ask everybody to chill and talk about it together? Keyed cars? Broken windows?
Nah, man. Nix this now. These punks aren't misguided neighbors; they're being jerks, and they're clearly in the wrong.
posted by koeselitz at 12:57 AM on December 29, 2008 [1 favorite]
I've had roommates that were obsessive about stupid things. I've had roommates with whom I fought over parking spaces. Yes, it's silly when people are petty and stalk around the neighborhood trying to prove a point.
This, my friend, is a completely different situation. If she were dealing with guys who complained a lot and made life a little tough, well, maybe that'd be one thing. But this isn't one of those "everybody calm down and compromise"-type situations; it stopped being that when there was emptying of tires and what sound to have been some kind of threat.
Frankly, when people are letting air out of tires, nothing besides "official action" will do any damned good. If they were willing to let air out of tires to prove a point, what will happen when Annashouse has the audacity to ask everybody to chill and talk about it together? Keyed cars? Broken windows?
Nah, man. Nix this now. These punks aren't misguided neighbors; they're being jerks, and they're clearly in the wrong.
posted by koeselitz at 12:57 AM on December 29, 2008 [1 favorite]
You've told them they can't use your space anymore. Park in your garage and have them towed when they use your space. That is the correct course of action. They'll soon stop all this stupidity when it starts costing them $$$ to get their car back every morning. aS koeselitz says, they're stealing your space and letting the air out of your tires to 'prove a point' and going to some lengths to do it but its not costing them anything, unless they're really rich, they'll stop.
If they vandalise your property or threaten you, call the police - again, this is the correct course of action. You should also inform the management company of your neighbors actions.
Towing them and calling the cops may make the situation worse in the short term but the alternative is to continue 'being nice' and let them harrass you continually until they get bored of it (which may NEVER happen).
posted by missmagenta at 1:28 AM on December 29, 2008
If they vandalise your property or threaten you, call the police - again, this is the correct course of action. You should also inform the management company of your neighbors actions.
Towing them and calling the cops may make the situation worse in the short term but the alternative is to continue 'being nice' and let them harrass you continually until they get bored of it (which may NEVER happen).
posted by missmagenta at 1:28 AM on December 29, 2008
I also live in a condo where we get our garage plus one space. Over the summer I started to notice that parking was full every night, despite us being a community where pretty much everyone has one car. It was like you said- people were using the garage for storage. Our president sent out a letter asking people to please use their garage for its intended use (we have a line referencing that in our community bi-laws). In a month everyone was having a garage sale, and by the end of the summer we magically have more parking than we know what to do with. It took a strong president going around speaking with people, as well as letters and reminders, but people can clean up their crap so parking doesn't have to become the main issue of a person's day.
posted by haplesschild at 3:43 AM on December 29, 2008
posted by haplesschild at 3:43 AM on December 29, 2008
If you are being harassed and you are worried about your safety, get a very visible security camera monitoring your vehicle and talk to the police about a restraining order. Definitely let the HOA/Trustees know about all of it.
posted by jerseygirl at 5:23 AM on December 29, 2008
posted by jerseygirl at 5:23 AM on December 29, 2008
There is no need to ever talk to these men again since they have and are taking advantage of you. Nthing the towing option. You sound like someone who is extremely nice, but sometimes you need to be assertive; and in this case, that means towing. If they ever come to complain again, call the police.
You might want to consider documenting all of these events in the event that a restraining order or a police officer is needed.
posted by toaster at 5:42 AM on December 29, 2008
You might want to consider documenting all of these events in the event that a restraining order or a police officer is needed.
posted by toaster at 5:42 AM on December 29, 2008
I had a private parking spot at my last apartment here in Philly that had a gigantic YOUR CAR WILL BE TOWED BY LEW BLUM TOWING sign hanging pretty much directly above it and I still had entitled dipshit Penn undergrads (sorry, Penn folks) parking their luxury SUVs in my spot on a daily basis. I would literally pull up to park as they were getting out of their cars and ask them to move and they would give me attitude, like, "dude, you're such an asshole, I'm on my way to a party, here." I informed all of my younger neighbors that their friends were taking up my space and that I was going to start having people towed and they all gave me the same attitude, "fuck off, dude, we need that spot for when our friends come over to smoke pot."
So not only did I start having cars towed but when I told the towing company how bad the problem was they put me on their regular route so I didn't even need to call, they were just constantly yanking cars out of my space day and night. They made money, I got my space back and everyone was happy.
Do you know how satisfying it was to see that same jerkoff who told me he needed my spot for party parking more than I needed it when I got off work running down the street after a tow truck?
Towing is a major, major inconvenience. Getting towed is totally expensive. Tow yards are almost exclusively in the most remote, shitty parts of whatever town they're in. Getting towed is a powerful learning experience that even the biggest asshole on earth is not going to want to repeat more than twice at the absolute most.
posted by The Straightener at 6:13 AM on December 29, 2008 [10 favorites]
So not only did I start having cars towed but when I told the towing company how bad the problem was they put me on their regular route so I didn't even need to call, they were just constantly yanking cars out of my space day and night. They made money, I got my space back and everyone was happy.
Do you know how satisfying it was to see that same jerkoff who told me he needed my spot for party parking more than I needed it when I got off work running down the street after a tow truck?
Towing is a major, major inconvenience. Getting towed is totally expensive. Tow yards are almost exclusively in the most remote, shitty parts of whatever town they're in. Getting towed is a powerful learning experience that even the biggest asshole on earth is not going to want to repeat more than twice at the absolute most.
posted by The Straightener at 6:13 AM on December 29, 2008 [10 favorites]
Mod note: Comment removed. Let's keep the namecalling out of this, please.
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:14 AM on December 29, 2008
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:14 AM on December 29, 2008
Consider "starting anew."
Offer the parking space up for rental. Send them a letter with first right of refusal with a specific date that theoffer expires. If they don't rent it, get another renter immediately. If they damage the renter's car or use the space, the renter can call the police and/or the tow company. They'll be dealing with a new entity -- and the police, taking the heat off of you.
posted by ericb at 7:16 AM on December 29, 2008 [1 favorite]
Offer the parking space up for rental. Send them a letter with first right of refusal with a specific date that theoffer expires. If they don't rent it, get another renter immediately. If they damage the renter's car or use the space, the renter can call the police and/or the tow company. They'll be dealing with a new entity -- and the police, taking the heat off of you.
posted by ericb at 7:16 AM on December 29, 2008 [1 favorite]
BTW -- regarding the rental option, you should consider the financial benefit of it, as you have an usunsed valuable asset that can be generating income for you to offset your mortgage payments, or, if you own your condo outright, provide additional monthly cash.
posted by ericb at 7:21 AM on December 29, 2008
posted by ericb at 7:21 AM on December 29, 2008
I like a lot of these responses and think, definitely, you are in the right and don't need to worry about being "mean" to your asshole neighbors. It's your spot, they keep taking it, etc, etc. It's yours! You deserve to use it whenever you want. But, I think your best bet will be to continue to park in your own garage and call the tow company regularly if they take your outside spot (or block your driveway/garage spot). The reason for this is that your car, while parked outside, is fairly vulnerable. You know this already since the neighbors have been deflating your tires. But what about when they get really mad and decide to key your car or smash your windshield? There is a lot they can do to your car that will really, really inconvenience you be a minimal risk to them (how often do vandals get caught?). I think your car will be safer in the garage and in the meantime, having the neighbor's car towed a few times should get the message across that you are not going to be pushed around.
posted by Jemstar at 7:23 AM on December 29, 2008
posted by Jemstar at 7:23 AM on December 29, 2008
Your spare parking space has value. You may be able to find another condo dweller who would like to pay you for its use, and be willing to cooperate about guest parking.
Someone who deflates your tires, makes noise late at night, and engages in any threatening behavior is harassing you. It's not legal to harass someone. Get a webcam, and keep any clips of bad behavior. As noted above, document any yelling or rude harassment. For any harassing behavior beyond rudeness, call the police. Keep a log.
You can easily go to court and ask for a restraining order. You can file to restrain them from parking in your space, then you can easily document any breaking of that order.
Of course you should be towing anyone who parks in your space, and you should keep a record. If you choose to have a towing company put you on their route, just be super careful that your guests don't get towed.
They're bullies. They only respect strength. They'll disrespect you less when you show willingness to make them accountable for their actions.
You tried to be nice; they took advantage of you. You're fine; don't let them intimidate you.
posted by theora55 at 7:33 AM on December 29, 2008
Someone who deflates your tires, makes noise late at night, and engages in any threatening behavior is harassing you. It's not legal to harass someone. Get a webcam, and keep any clips of bad behavior. As noted above, document any yelling or rude harassment. For any harassing behavior beyond rudeness, call the police. Keep a log.
You can easily go to court and ask for a restraining order. You can file to restrain them from parking in your space, then you can easily document any breaking of that order.
Of course you should be towing anyone who parks in your space, and you should keep a record. If you choose to have a towing company put you on their route, just be super careful that your guests don't get towed.
They're bullies. They only respect strength. They'll disrespect you less when you show willingness to make them accountable for their actions.
You tried to be nice; they took advantage of you. You're fine; don't let them intimidate you.
posted by theora55 at 7:33 AM on December 29, 2008
These guys sound like young punks living in their first place after college, and haven't yet learned how people behave outside of frat row. Treat them like the children they are and start calling the authorities (towing company, condo association, police) on them. Every time. Sometimes the immature need to learn hard lessons over and over before they sink in.
It's possible they are harassing other residents in other ways as well. The condo association won't know they have a problem resident unless you speak up. What they are doing may be grounds for eviction of the roommate.
posted by SuperSquirrel at 8:07 AM on December 29, 2008 [2 favorites]
It's possible they are harassing other residents in other ways as well. The condo association won't know they have a problem resident unless you speak up. What they are doing may be grounds for eviction of the roommate.
posted by SuperSquirrel at 8:07 AM on December 29, 2008 [2 favorites]
I just want to point out that phaedon's advice is not only bad, it's self-contradictory; "Talk to your neighbors about your problem" directly conflicts with "don't end up being...the person that goes to the authorities."
In a condominium, the condo association is both "the neighbors" and "the authorities."
posted by mediareport at 9:24 AM on December 29, 2008
In a condominium, the condo association is both "the neighbors" and "the authorities."
posted by mediareport at 9:24 AM on December 29, 2008
You didn't mention if these guys are your age, older or what...When I was a single woman, I lived below some very rowdy kids, with some very nasty friends, and they would go up on the roof and throw food down on to my car, yell things and just generally be obnoxious.
I would go upstairs and knock on their door (until they answered it, being persistent)and everyone would deny everything, and I basically blasted everyone with "If this shit doesn't stop, I will be having the cops up in here and YOU DON'T WANT THAT, DO YOU?!" (Which admittedly was a little scary, but I was *so in the right*~ I was very indignant! You little bastards are messing with MY stuff after I have been a cool person in this building!
It continued and I called the PD and it stopped shorty thereafter, because people don't really want the cops at their house. Yelling up at you and letting the air out of your tires qualifies as vandalism and harassment.
All of the advice above about documenting, towing, etc but if it were me, I would knock on their door *until* they answered it, take charge of this situation and let them know you know they are messing with your car, you WILL be towing and if the harassment with the yelling and the tires doesn't stop, they will have a cop on their doorstep every day. I was also a bit older than them so even though they had the numbers and they were scary, I was the adult here. I would definitely be on the offensive vs the defensive here, because there is more power in that, IMO.
So document, lay down the law, and then back it up with a tow truck and a cop car.
posted by Grlnxtdr at 11:55 AM on December 29, 2008
I would go upstairs and knock on their door (until they answered it, being persistent)and everyone would deny everything, and I basically blasted everyone with "If this shit doesn't stop, I will be having the cops up in here and YOU DON'T WANT THAT, DO YOU?!" (Which admittedly was a little scary, but I was *so in the right*~ I was very indignant! You little bastards are messing with MY stuff after I have been a cool person in this building!
It continued and I called the PD and it stopped shorty thereafter, because people don't really want the cops at their house. Yelling up at you and letting the air out of your tires qualifies as vandalism and harassment.
All of the advice above about documenting, towing, etc but if it were me, I would knock on their door *until* they answered it, take charge of this situation and let them know you know they are messing with your car, you WILL be towing and if the harassment with the yelling and the tires doesn't stop, they will have a cop on their doorstep every day. I was also a bit older than them so even though they had the numbers and they were scary, I was the adult here. I would definitely be on the offensive vs the defensive here, because there is more power in that, IMO.
So document, lay down the law, and then back it up with a tow truck and a cop car.
posted by Grlnxtdr at 11:55 AM on December 29, 2008
I think you have some excellent advice here. Documentation and your condo association will be your best tools.
If you do decide to rent the space in the future, make sure that the renter leaves an extra set of keys with you, so you can move the car with minimal inconvenience. That's pretty standard protocol when you're talking about tandem parking or sharing spaces, and makes everyone's life a lot easier.
posted by katemcd at 1:22 PM on December 29, 2008
If you do decide to rent the space in the future, make sure that the renter leaves an extra set of keys with you, so you can move the car with minimal inconvenience. That's pretty standard protocol when you're talking about tandem parking or sharing spaces, and makes everyone's life a lot easier.
posted by katemcd at 1:22 PM on December 29, 2008
Response by poster: I appreciate everyone's great advice. I thought about things today and ended up doing a variation of phaedon's advice in the hope that I won't have to involve police, lawyers, etc.
I approached a neighbor who's helped me in the past. They're a married couple who's 20-something daughter unexpectedly moved home, and they're struggling with parking. I offered them the use of my parking space, offered little explanation about the situation other than I'd had "some trouble", and in exchange they will deal with anyone who shouldn't be parking there. They don't seem to have a problem with my using it occasionally.
I realize I could end up with the same problem of not being able to use it when I want, but it seems unlikely.
This puts my car back in the garage, and a car in my parking space, AND I get to help what appear to be sane neighbors.
This won't, of course, automatically end the harrassment. But I'm hoping they'll be so stunned it'll shut em up for awhile. Honestly, if the parking spot doesn't exist for them I think they'll just lose interest. If I'm wrong, I still got everyone's great advice to fall back on.
Thanks for great input! Just hearing from sane people has been such a delight. I had started to think I must be the one who's crazy ;-)
posted by Annashouse at 6:08 PM on December 29, 2008
I approached a neighbor who's helped me in the past. They're a married couple who's 20-something daughter unexpectedly moved home, and they're struggling with parking. I offered them the use of my parking space, offered little explanation about the situation other than I'd had "some trouble", and in exchange they will deal with anyone who shouldn't be parking there. They don't seem to have a problem with my using it occasionally.
I realize I could end up with the same problem of not being able to use it when I want, but it seems unlikely.
This puts my car back in the garage, and a car in my parking space, AND I get to help what appear to be sane neighbors.
This won't, of course, automatically end the harrassment. But I'm hoping they'll be so stunned it'll shut em up for awhile. Honestly, if the parking spot doesn't exist for them I think they'll just lose interest. If I'm wrong, I still got everyone's great advice to fall back on.
Thanks for great input! Just hearing from sane people has been such a delight. I had started to think I must be the one who's crazy ;-)
posted by Annashouse at 6:08 PM on December 29, 2008
« Older Where do we go for New Year's in Toronto? | $11000 coffin of mahogany soaked in sea water for... Newer »
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by big open mouth at 8:00 PM on December 28, 2008 [1 favorite]