Do they still make ha'pennies?

November 30, 2006 12:34 PM

What's the most annoying way you can think of to pay someone 10 bucks?...there's

So i lost a bet, its a weekly bet between a group of friends and it's my turn to pay. Previous losers have paid in pesos, pennies, canadian dollars, two dollar bills, etc. I'm looking for really really annoying. Think a roll of quarters encased in amber...Oh hivemind, enlighten me with your evil...

posted by provocateur to Work & Money (76 answers total)

A ten glued to a cinderblock.
One thousand checks for $.01
Staple two fives to each other, continuously around the perimeter.
posted by Dipsomaniac at 12:40 PM on November 30, 2006

Scavenger hunt. For each dollar. Make it elaborate and quite possibly illegal to complete.
posted by NationalKato at 12:40 PM on November 30, 2006

Ten dollars worth of stamps?
posted by Diskeater at 12:41 PM on November 30, 2006

All coupons technically have a cash value of 1/20 of a cent, or even less. So 20,000 or more coupons should do the trick nicely.
posted by j-dawg at 12:41 PM on November 30, 2006

Amber might take too long, but what about coins and an ice-cube tray?

If you're allowed to use foreign currency, what about annoyingly denominated stamps? (When's the next time they're going to use 75 cent stamps, for instance? The post office usually has these because they're international postcard rate.)
posted by cobaltnine at 12:41 PM on November 30, 2006

How about going to a jeweler and buying $10 worth of gold? It'll probably be about the size of a grain of sand.
posted by poppo at 12:42 PM on November 30, 2006

Of course, with this puzzle box you'll be spending $15.00 to package $10.00, but I bet it would really piss the recipient off.
posted by Sara Anne at 12:42 PM on November 30, 2006

Melt a thousand pennies using this method, or a smelting oven. Mold them into an ingot.
posted by M.C. Lo-Carb! at 12:42 PM on November 30, 2006

Bacon (if they're vegetarians) or tofu (if they like bacon).

I-heart-NY t-shirts -- they're worth a pretty steady $2 each.

Then again, if you let the "payment in kind" genie out of the bottle, I guess you can't put it back in. Get ready to waste lots of money over the coming weeks.
posted by rkent at 12:43 PM on November 30, 2006

laminated 10 dollar bill with a squashed cockroach on it
posted by yeahyeahyeahwhoo at 12:44 PM on November 30, 2006 [1 favorite]

One-cent postage stamps?
posted by These Premises Are Alarmed at 12:44 PM on November 30, 2006

a $10 gift certificate only redeemable at someplace annoying to the receiver - an aroma therapy store, McDonalds, a vasectomy clinic.
posted by MonkeySaltedNuts at 12:45 PM on November 30, 2006

My husband recently got paid $8 in Chuck E Cheese tokens. Maybe that would work for you.
posted by christinetheslp at 12:45 PM on November 30, 2006

A ten glued to a cinder block is the best idea I think I've ever heard.
posted by CRM114 at 12:47 PM on November 30, 2006

A ton of giftcards from different stores in really small amounts. Like a 50 cent giftcard from Circuit City, etc.
posted by Diskeater at 12:47 PM on November 30, 2006

Obsolete currency is always nice. xe.com says 10 bux is 14,617.38 Italian Lire. Maybe ebay?
posted by Rhomboid at 12:48 PM on November 30, 2006

Much quicker than amber: Take quarters. Place in clear plastic box. Fill with quick-set epoxy resin.
posted by muddgirl at 12:49 PM on November 30, 2006

$10 gift card to some place the person would never go? McDonald's for a vegetarian, Wal-Mart for a diehard indy shopper?
posted by GaelFC at 12:50 PM on November 30, 2006

'Mutilated' coins can be redeemed for their full value, but you've got to go through the Philadelphia Mint. If you're up to laboriously bending, breaking, fusing or melting a thousand pennies, that might be a good option.
posted by box at 12:55 PM on November 30, 2006

200 cans/bottles redeemable for 5 cents? Would work best if they're redeemable only in Maine, or something.
posted by advil at 12:56 PM on November 30, 2006

Open a free checking account for a D/B/A named something really nasty like "Rocky Liberace's Weapons of Ass Destruction Boutique," write the check from that account, then wait to see if they have the nerve to cash it.
posted by ZenMasterThis at 12:59 PM on November 30, 2006 [5 favorites]

if it's cold enough where you are you could throw ten dollars in pennies (canadian if you live in the us) on the surface of a frozen pond and then pour water over, repeatedly, to freeze them in. Then give the location of the pond.
or take ten one dollar bills, cut them into the finest strips and mix them together and present them, or stuff them in a box. if reassembled many banks will accept them and trade for real money - but not all.
posted by henryis at 1:06 PM on November 30, 2006

1280 Kazakstahn Tenges or 91,470 Iranian Rials.
posted by plokent at 1:08 PM on November 30, 2006

Wow, there are so many great ideas here. Since all the ones I would have come up with have already been posted and then bested, I'll just combine a couple;

Go with stamps. From another country. In odd denominations, that you have laminated. And then epoxied to a brick.
posted by quin at 1:09 PM on November 30, 2006

Shred 10 1$ bills. If you want to go the extra mile, shred the bills then tape them back together "mix-and-match" style.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 1:10 PM on November 30, 2006

Apparently you can legally write a check on anything, and the bank will have to honor it.

"Just about any large company can tell you stories about comedians who send in checks written on underwear, bricks, and other inconvenient media."

That might prompt some ideas for you. Combine with ZMT's idea about "Rocky Liberace's Weapons of Ass Destruction Boutique" and I see new heights of comedic annoyance.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 1:16 PM on November 30, 2006 [3 favorites]

Better than gluing a ten to a brick, how about glue laminating ten singles to each other? You'd end up with a nice little brick of hard currency!

Also, ice cube, shmice cube. See if you can convince a restaurant/fishmonger to let you put a 30-gallon trash can full of water (and one $10 bill) in their deep freeze for a week.
posted by Rock Steady at 1:17 PM on November 30, 2006

Ass Pennies
posted by bondcliff at 1:18 PM on November 30, 2006

If you have free checking and a lot of extra checks laying around you could write 1,000 checks for .01 each. (or some other, more manageable number).
posted by Wink Ricketts at 1:20 PM on November 30, 2006

Oh How embarrassing. I went back and re-read the posts and found that not only did someone already say it...Dipsomaniac said it in the VERY FIRST POST.
posted by Wink Ricketts at 1:21 PM on November 30, 2006

Pater Aletheias: "Apparently you can legally write a check on anything, and the bank will have to honor it."

...but for comedy value, I think it'd be best to present one of those Ed McMahon-type huge checks. Only, in the "memo" line, put "FOR HOT ASS" or some such. Or go with ZMT's wording, which is probably more nuanced, but less embarrassing.

Cashing a five-foot check at a bank is sure to be extremely embarrassing. Especially since it's for ten dollars.
posted by koeselitz at 1:24 PM on November 30, 2006

A Starbucks gift card.

LOL SUCKER
posted by four panels at 1:38 PM on November 30, 2006

Paying in bottles is the the best idea I've heard so far, especially because many stores have a limit to the # of bottles you can redeem at one time.

A check on an extremely embarassing object comes by a close second. A lingerie check could be perfect.
posted by devilsbrigade at 1:42 PM on November 30, 2006

How about a 30 year annuity with a current value of $10? It'd be something around 62 cents a year.
posted by jaysus chris at 1:44 PM on November 30, 2006

Take the $10 and embed it in 20 pounds of concrete with only a corner poking up out of it.
posted by plinth at 1:52 PM on November 30, 2006

On second thought, so that with $10 worth of pennies. Sieve out the rocks in your typical concrete mix and replace with $10 worth of pennies. Mix and set into a block and write $10 in the top before it sets.
posted by plinth at 1:54 PM on November 30, 2006

Similar to what koeselitz said, you could just write a check (or checks) from your normal account and write "for [embarrassing goods and/or services]" in the memo line. Not the most original idea, but super easy.
posted by peep at 1:56 PM on November 30, 2006

Do you have one of those custom embroidery shops in your local mall? Take a ten dollar bill there and have it embroidered with a lovely saying like "Go to Hell" in a tasteful script, then have it framed.
posted by MegoSteve at 1:56 PM on November 30, 2006

What state do you live in? In some states, livestock is still considered legal tender, so you'd might be able to pay the bet with an animal.
posted by Cog at 1:58 PM on November 30, 2006

Ah, asspennies.

You could buy them ten bucks worth of a spam stock.
posted by Bookhouse at 2:00 PM on November 30, 2006

Instead of the cash replica bathroom tissue use the real dollar bills and present them......er............ready to flush.
posted by Freedomboy at 2:07 PM on November 30, 2006

You can do what The Woz does and buy a book of dollar bills, un-perforated, from the US Mint. Only annoying because the recipient will get funny looks.
posted by muddgirl at 2:11 PM on November 30, 2006

It also occurs to me that cashing a check "FOR HOT ASS" for ten dollars is bound to be even more embarrassing, since, if the check is only for ten dollars, the bank clerks are bound to wonder just how hot his ass can be, to be worth so very little.
posted by koeselitz at 2:12 PM on November 30, 2006 [2 favorites]

I think $10 in pennies combined with an unmarked DVD that contains the "ass pennies" sketch would be priceless. Even better, smear the pennies with chocolate, and when they ask what's up with the dirty pennies, just tell them to watch the video.
posted by Rock Steady at 2:12 PM on November 30, 2006

Get a bunch of Canadians to send you Canadian Tire Money posthaste. This would be far more perplexing to your friend if you guys don't live within a few hours drive of the Canadian border.
posted by thisjax at 2:18 PM on November 30, 2006 [1 favorite]

Also, I've got to nix the embarrassing check idea for several reasons:

1. ATM deposit. The prankee never actually has to hand the check to a person if they don't want to.
2. I was a teller. The amount of time I spent looking at the memo line on checks I was cashing was approximately 1/7 of a second, if that. Unless it was a customer who was known to me, I wouldn't even think twice about an embarrassing memo line or company name.
posted by Rock Steady at 2:20 PM on November 30, 2006

Oooh, here's a good one, based on cobaltnine's fine suggestion of stamps:

1) Buy 1000 1 cent "American Kestrel" stamps.

2) Cover some item (windshield? window? door? ass (while they're drunk)?) belonging to the person you have to pay back.

3) PROFIT!
posted by koeselitz at 2:26 PM on November 30, 2006

Bonus if you can get those tenges with the misspelling!
posted by pullayup at 2:28 PM on November 30, 2006

Rock Steady: Agreed. That's why the embarrassing check thing only works if the check is of unusual size. That is, if it says "FOR HOT ASS" in letters that are at least six inches high. Big enough for lots of people in the bank to read.
posted by koeselitz at 2:28 PM on November 30, 2006

How about embedding a $10 bill in a lucite brick?
posted by mullacc at 2:35 PM on November 30, 2006

1000 one cent coins super-glued together into a long column. Annoying to spend/cash-in, and awkward to carry!
posted by EndsOfInvention at 2:56 PM on November 30, 2006

The always fun (and illegal) nutball alternative currency? (too bad Beenz is no more)
posted by bhance at 3:03 PM on November 30, 2006

Pennies in a jar of honey: incredibly irritating but does not actually damage the currency, as some methods do.
posted by trinity8-director at 3:52 PM on November 30, 2006

I was going to suggest freezing it in a block of ice, but, even better, freeze it into the middle of a block of lard.
posted by desuetude at 3:58 PM on November 30, 2006 [1 favorite]

Get $10 worth of gold. Set it in a jello shot. Tell the person you want to do a shot with them to congratulate them for winning. Then tell them that they just drank their payment in the form of $10 worth of gold and that they can start checking their stool in about 12 to 72 hours if they recover it.
posted by willnot at 4:30 PM on November 30, 2006 [1 favorite]

Pay in installments: a nickel each time you see the person.
posted by nowonmai at 4:37 PM on November 30, 2006

Fold the ten dollar bill to be roughly 1/4 the size of the bill. If you are nice, wrap it in cling wrap. If not, go straight to the scotch tape. Wrap the scotch tape around the bill. Over and over and over and over. In various size pieces. Wrap it with so much scotch tape it mounds out in the middle.

Use cheap scotch tape. It doesn't peel off so easily, but it does shred easily when trying to unpeel it.
posted by julen at 4:40 PM on November 30, 2006

I've had this done to me:

Tell the victim that you gave the $10 to a third party, and that the victim should collect the money from the third party. However, don't actually give the third party any money, just insist on paying for their lunch one time, so that they 'owe you'.
posted by breath at 4:56 PM on November 30, 2006

Oh, and if you do willnot's make sure the gold isn't actually in the jello shot. After they tell you of picking through their excrement, give them the gold.
posted by phrontist at 5:08 PM on November 30, 2006

Pay in Salt Spring Island dollars. They are accepted at over 180 places on the island. It's located off the west coast of Canada, by Vancouver Island (not far from Seattle/the Pacific Northwest).
posted by nelvana at 5:09 PM on November 30, 2006

Get 1000 pennies. Stick 100 of them up your ass. Then mix them in with the rest.

Of course, you could stick all 1000 pennies up your ass, but that seems like a lot of time and work and it could be painful. 100 is nice and manageable.
posted by nyxxxx at 5:22 PM on November 30, 2006

ok.. I almost feel like I should apologize for this one...

a soda bottle containing the $10 in coinage, domestic or foreign, and filled with pee. Or saliva.

Or, if that is too high on the squick factor, a drop or two of liquid ass... or something equally smelly.

the second one has the whammy of when first seen it's just assumed it's just the standard $10 in coinage *yawn*, but when opened....

Alternatively soak a $10 bill in something smelly, seal it up really well in plastic and mail (or just drop in his mail box if you don't want to chance the mail system), it so you're not around when the odor hits, they have to option of destroying the bill or trying to pass it.
posted by edgeways at 5:25 PM on November 30, 2006

Ok, inspired by "a roll of quarters encased in amber" this is the best I can do.

Get your ten dollars changed to five yen coins, and embed them in hard candy.

Instead of pouring the syrup into a cookie sheet, you could pour it into something a little deeper like a baking dish, or if you really want to go the extra mile, you could make individual candies and put the coins in them, but you'd need a mold. I imagine that if you used a baking dish the coins would sink in the syrup, so you could try standing them on edge, making sure there was enough syrup that they were (at least mostly) immersed.

Also, if you'd need too many five yen coins, you could use fifty yen coins.

Well, if you decide to do it, you can work out the details, but I think it would qualify as REALLY REALLY annoying.
posted by benign at 5:35 PM on November 30, 2006

$10 in Flooz or Disney Dollars
posted by Pollomacho at 5:49 PM on November 30, 2006

Sort of like the asspennies idea - you could eat $10 worth of pennies and crap them out into a catbox. That way you have a bunch of nicely formed fudge dragons imbedded with your debts.
posted by Demogorgon at 6:08 PM on November 30, 2006

Wearing rubber gloves and a surgical mask, carefully remove the ten dollar bill from a ziploc bag with tongs. Lay the money down on a clean surface and then immediately throw out the tongs and baggie and scrub your hands with anti-bacterial lotion.

You should also dry heave a few times through this process.

Then, just point at the money and say, "All yours, bub."

When he asks what the deal is with the money just tell him the truth and say that you did nothing to the money to make it unsavory. Nothing at all. And then the mind games begin.

Also, if he picks up the money with no problem, force yourself to throw up and then never touch anything he touches. For the rest of his life.
posted by ColdChef at 6:37 PM on November 30, 2006 [3 favorites]

Buy them $10 worth of Zune Marketplace points. (Only funny if they don't have a Zune).
posted by visual mechanic at 7:44 PM on November 30, 2006 [1 favorite]

Pennies + Quikrete = WIN.
posted by majick at 8:46 PM on November 30, 2006

Well, You don't say you have to pay in actual currency.

Buy something outrageous, but worth exactly $10.

Suggestions:
A large pink dildo.
Anal Beads.
Enema Kits.
Tampons
Dental Dams
Deer Urine
Some raunchy gay porno
Depends Adult Diapers.
Anything from the scientology gift shop (if there is such a thing.)

Now, please check their return policy.

Give the "gift". Tape the receipt to your package.

Anytime he wants, he can collect his $10 by returning your gift.

Did I mention that you should double check the return policy first?
posted by filmgeek at 8:58 PM on November 30, 2006

Try 2.

One red paperclip.

A URL at godaddy $8.95.

A printout of:
Tell him you just gave him the ability to get a house.
posted by filmgeek at 8:59 PM on November 30, 2006

If you're going to epoxy together a bunch of low-value coins, you should do it in a single stack, making a rod maybe 20 or 30 feet long. This won't work with pennies — they're 0.061" thick, so a thousand pennies only stack up to 61 inches or around five feet. To be really impressive, the stack should be too tall to bring indoors.
posted by nebulawindphone at 9:54 PM on November 30, 2006

10 one dollar gift cards to stores on completely opposite sides of the country. Or the equivalent of a dollar in ten different and hard to exchange currencies.
posted by tarthur at 11:18 PM on November 30, 2006

You could build an obscene coinstruction with 1000 pennies.
posted by mach at 12:11 AM on December 1, 2006

www.glitterrevenge.com

"Nothing says "I'm thinking of you" better than a message of glitter. It also tends to linger and keep cropping up for weeks or months to come. We specialize in sending covert letters and packages to anyone you think needs one. Letters can be sent anonymously, or with a personal message. And of course, you don't have to handle the scourge of the earth that is glitter. Check out our items for more information."

Jeremy, they guy who runs the site, got the idea from the podcast Keith and The Girl. I'm sure Keith and Chemda would love to hear about it. drop them a line.

[e-mail]
posted by phritosan at 1:47 AM on December 1, 2006

Paypal, to an old email address he no longer has access to.
posted by jbickers at 3:45 AM on December 1, 2006

200 hobo nickels.
posted by haveanicesummer at 8:48 AM on December 1, 2006