"Elegant Statement" Attire

April 12, 2024 5:48 AM

What would you wear to an August wedding with this dress code suggestion?

The wedding is in Michigan, 1pm early August. I'm curious how others would interpret "elegant statement."

I am female presenting and I would like to wear a dress with low (preferably no, but I'll manage) heels. I never wear dresses outside of events so I just feel dumb here, and looking at various websites' suggested wedding guest attire - the level of formality varies so much!

The last wedding I attended was a slightly younger crowd and I felt overdressed in a satiny pleated dress. The SIL wore colored jeans and most dresses were casual. I think the dress I have would be fine for my friend's upcoming wedding, but it feels a little boring and I would like to lean more into the statement part for the fun of it.

posted by GrimmblyTuna to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion (18 answers total)

Best answer: I would read it as cocktail-to-formal - any length of dress you're comfortable in from knee length-ish to full length is fine - and an encouragement to wear something colorful/with a big print/that cool thing you bought in your closet but never found a right event to wear it to. That said, it's Michigan which I would expect to be more casual (unless the couple lives elsewhere and is having the ceremony there for family reasons) so I would expect a bit more leeway on the material of the dress than if I got the same invitation in NYC.

If it's in your budget, I'd take a look at Farm Rio and Reformation. Farm Rio is great for "statement" and Reformation tends to have good millenial coastal wedding guest options with some interesting cut/print options. Sezane's current collection is fully of wedding-appropriate attire as well.
posted by A Blue Moon at 6:22 AM on April 12 [4 favorites]

Typically the dress code is only one clue as to how to dress! Information like where the venue for the wedding is (i.e. brewery, church, park, beach, restaurant, etc), how old the couple are, whether this is their first wedding, how big the wedding is, if you know what the bridesmaids are wearing, etc - all are also helpful pieces of information for this dilemma.
posted by hepta at 6:22 AM on April 12 [7 favorites]

If you want you can probably make your statements with accessories rather than/in addition to a new dress.
posted by trig at 7:03 AM on April 12 [6 favorites]

Best answer: For that dress code, Michigan, in August I would probably do something like an ombre maxi dress --the ombre for the "statement" part and the length for the "elegant." Plus a maxi dress can definitely be worn with flat or extremely low-heel sandals.

eShakti is great for playing around with necklines and hemlines and they have a lot of different colorways.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 7:05 AM on April 12 [3 favorites]

No white, no black.

(Yes, that is an onion on my belt, why do you ask?)
posted by BWA at 7:06 AM on April 12 [1 favorite]

Best answer: I am also a person who never wears dresses.
Last year I got a nice, comfortable, appropriate dress to wear to a pretty fancy wedding for a very reasonable price at Metafilter fave, eShakti. Categories you could check under dresses include: Social Events, Special Occasion and Wedding Guest. Maybe something with a bold print?

For most dresses on the site, you can adjust length, sleeve length, and neckline.
posted by Glinn at 7:30 AM on April 12 [1 favorite]

Best answer: Elegant, for women, tends to mean 'long'. For a summer daytime wedding, think a flowy maxi dress more than an evening gown.

Statement means 'has personality', so interesting accessories, bold colours and directional designs, rather than very conservative or preppy. Often wedding guest dresses are either in neutral colours (black, grey, navy) or pastels and you shouldn't feel like you need to stick to that.

My dress choices don't really run all that statementy, but I have bold jewelry. Maybe I'd buy a new dress or maybe I'd get a fun fascinator or hat to go with a dress I already have.
posted by jacquilynne at 8:01 AM on April 12 [2 favorites]

If it's a close enough friend--ask! I would also interpret this as cocktail-to-floor-length and bold, but I am not your friend.

Reformation and whatever's at Anthropologie are the wedding standbys but if you want something a little older-skewing and sparklier, Dress the Population is a rec.
posted by kingdead at 8:20 AM on April 12 [2 favorites]

I don't wear dresses anymore. I like pants with flats. I'd wear something like this www.halsbrook.com/catalog/product/37080 or something with a silk jacket or jacquard. You can try googling 'dressy pants and jacket" or "dressy pants suit"
posted by mmf at 8:31 AM on April 12 [4 favorites]

Best answer: Elegant statement to me means mostly traditional mid- to long- draped silhouettes (the 'elegant' part) with some unique flair (statement), either a bold print or something expected (cut outs or something asymmetrical).

Just dipping into the reformation link above, I would gravitate toward something like these 1 2 3

Luckily kitten heels are back and plentiful, I would probably purchase something like these.
posted by greta simone at 8:54 AM on April 12 [1 favorite]

Best answer: For "statement" I always think some kind of striking jewelry or accessory -- consider a palm cuff bracelet (that one's pretty hefty, there are much smaller options available) or a large ear cuff. IG served me up an ad for this watch scarf/band thing yesterday and I'm not sure it would quite fit as "elegant" but maybe something to think about!
posted by curious nu at 9:12 AM on April 12 [1 favorite]

For elegant, I'd tend to think of fabrics more aligned with evening/winter attire, so this is a bit of a stumper. I think what they are saying is, "please dress up a bit, those of you who have been wearing jeans to weddings."

Low heels are fine. I think the satiny pleated dress is probably a great option. But do you want to to get something new? How about a long, silky-ish but still summer dress? Something like this silk dress from Quince?

Without knowing your age or where you typically shop, it's hard to make specific suggestions. But you could add some statement with jewelry.
posted by bluedaisy at 9:13 AM on April 12

You don't really have to wear a dress if you don't want to. You could wear pants? Maybe fancy pants? I feel like the invitation is inviting you to wear some dramatic print or color or cut so what if you wore pants?
posted by vunder at 9:35 AM on April 12 [2 favorites]

Best answer: A jumpsuit in a fancy-ish fabric/pattern would also be an option I think!
posted by MadamM at 11:05 AM on April 12 [7 favorites]

Best answer: If you want to use your existing dress, how would you dress it up? Pile on the jewelry!

And if you don't like heels, avoid kitten heels (which I always find surprisingly unflattering and unstable) in favor of a low wedge.
posted by Lawn Beaver at 11:16 AM on April 12

Best answer: I would interpret “elegant statement” as a maxi dress in either a bright color or bold pattern. Fabric should be dressier than cotton—maybe something kind of silky? Or I might go wide-leg jumpsuit, if I found one I like. Either way, I would 100% wear flats over heels. If you WANT to do a low heel, you do you, but definitely don’t feel obligated.
posted by rabbits plinkety plinkety plink at 1:33 PM on April 12 [1 favorite]

Best answer: I feel like, at this point, dress codes are just like uh, your opinion, man.

I have seen jeans and polo shirts at "black tie optional" weddings, sequined floor-length bridesmaid dresses at "backyard BBQ" events and then terribly inappropriate tailoring at church functions (like, the most luscious of ta-tas spilling out of shirts in the wrong size).

My conclusion is to wear what makes me comfortable as a middle-aged lady-type person. I don't do heels much, but flats with a little personality (beading, sequins, a fun color, ankle strap, etc), polished oxfords with pants or even fashion sneakers (impeccably clean Chucks, Stan Smiths, etc). A wide-leg pant and statement jewelry usually gain tons of compliments and I can enjoy being comfortable. You mention low heels, so these can be a good option for summer (meaning walking on grass or uneven ground).

For statement items, I like a wrap, necklace or earrings (especially with short or pulled-back hair). This wrap looks magical, but you'd still be cool and comfortable. I have this wrap in candy pink and no one notices that I'm essentially wearing pajamas under it (knit cigarette pants, untucked silk blouse and satin slippers). For jewelry, I love the brand Eye Candy Los Angeles. They have a wide variety of well-priced items that will gather compliments while you rewear your comfiest version of formal wear.
posted by annaramma at 3:17 PM on April 12 [2 favorites]

Best answer: Someone here tipped me off to the fact that eShakti has gone badly downhill, and I didn't listen and I regret it, so I'm passing it on—I would not use them for anything even remotely time-sensitive, or if you must, give at least several months lead time and be prepared to have to initiate a credit card chargeback before they'll make or ship your order.
posted by babelfish at 5:52 PM on April 12 [1 favorite]