Personally, I'd like a vacation

December 15, 2005 6:29 PM

Ho ho ho! What do you want for Christmas, MetaFilter boys and girls?

You'll have to wait until Christmas to find out whether you've been good enough to get what you ask for, but a few of the very best answers here just might be rewarded with a little something well in advance! N. B. Sitting on Santa's lap is entirely optional.

posted by Santa Claus to Grab Bag (54 answers total)

Something to light up my life with Santa!
posted by quadog at 6:35 PM on December 15, 2005

I'd suggest something, but my face is so so dry in this winter air.
posted by thanotopsis at 6:36 PM on December 15, 2005

I'd like a Walt Johnson case for my Reference 54 tenor saxophone.
posted by cribcage at 6:45 PM on December 15, 2005

I see this thread, and I think to myself "Oooh, maybe if I come up with something really creative, I'll be rewarded!". But upon a few more seconds reflection, I realize that I don't really want anything special or unusual, and that asking for present just for the sake of asking isn't very Christmas-y. I really hope that some deserving MeFites are graced by Santa Claus this year, though! If a few blank DVD-RWs find their way into my stocking this year, I'll have all I need anyhow.
posted by chudmonkey at 6:49 PM on December 15, 2005

Cute boys. Lots and lots of cute boys.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 6:54 PM on December 15, 2005 [1 favorite]

I've come to understand my mother's standard answer to this question: "Peace on earth, and two good kids".

Since that's not bloody likely:

A Silver Reed standard-gauge knitting machine, a Hello Kitty Strat and a series of lessons, and a Shun Santoku.
posted by padraigin at 6:55 PM on December 15, 2005

I'd love a new sofa. Mine eats my ass.
posted by ferociouskitty at 6:56 PM on December 15, 2005

EMG pickups.
posted by baphomet at 7:00 PM on December 15, 2005

Pink super heroes. Lots of pink superheroes.
posted by knave at 7:01 PM on December 15, 2005

I just want peace on Earth.

That's better than being selfish like everyone else, right? So I should get more than them.
posted by Gator at 7:02 PM on December 15, 2005

Stephen Soderberg to make a good movie for once, instead of a good idea that sucks hard in the execution because of his titanic ego and utter lack of taste and good judgment.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 7:14 PM on December 15, 2005

A vaccine to eradicate malaria. Prevention measures aren't enough. (I'm currently suffering from it, I'm sorry for being slightly cranky Santa).
posted by carabiner at 7:19 PM on December 15, 2005

In the wishful thinking category, a wayback machine to '98, so we could just redo the 2000 campaign from scratch — and do it right this time.

Oh, and a sex robot.
posted by rob511 at 7:22 PM on December 15, 2005

A loaf of bread, a container of milk, and a stick of butter.
posted by Dr. Wu at 7:24 PM on December 15, 2005

Paid-off vet bills for my badly injured dog.

Oh, and maybe a recording of the animated clip that Dr. Wu's comment came from.
posted by cmyk at 7:26 PM on December 15, 2005

An Airport Express and a PCI WiFi card for a DVI TiBook. My boyfriend and I would get along better for this.

Also, I'd really like a 1GB RAM stick for my iMac, so when I edit my Master's Documentary I don't waste time watching a beachball spin. (Oh, and for my parents not to have a heart attack when they find out that the stripper I'm doing said documentary about is me.)
posted by ArsncHeart at 7:31 PM on December 15, 2005

True love.
World peace.
iPod.
1949 Martin D-18.

Or, you know, flannel PJs like usual.
posted by Miko at 7:34 PM on December 15, 2005

A hug.
posted by cloeburner at 7:34 PM on December 15, 2005

To bounce out of bed in the morning. If not that, one of those alarm clocks that hide, or a coffee machine.
posted by bonaldi at 7:36 PM on December 15, 2005

A shiny new blue bicycle.
posted by jmgorman at 7:48 PM on December 15, 2005

plo chops...lots of plo chops...

And Karl Rove frogmarched out of the White House in handcuffs.
posted by black8 at 7:50 PM on December 15, 2005

Not only world peace, but inner peace. The last part of 2005 has been tumultuous for me and I need to learn to deal with it more effectively. Thanks, Santa, I'll leave the cookies and Jack Daniels in the usual place. ;)
posted by Lynsey at 8:01 PM on December 15, 2005

I'd just like somebody to consider my likes and interests, mull them over, and get me something they think I would like. Sounds cliche, but it is the thought that counts. I just want somebody to think about me when getting me my gift.

I'd also like a bunch of MeFites to donate a couple/few bucks each to cmyk's vet bills, and I'd like ArsncHeart to make me a reasonable offer for my practically brand new Airport Express (only plugged in once, doesn't work with my Netgear WGT624 router, no WDS) that I can't use.

Oh, and some bicycle stuff for my brother fixedgear. Something really obscure and bicycley, he's pretty hardcore.

But if none of that is doable, I'd like continued good health for my mother.
posted by Fat Guy at 8:05 PM on December 15, 2005

If I had one wish that I could wish this holiday season, it would be that all the children to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace. If I had two wishes I could make this holiday season, the first would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing in the spirit of harmony and peace. And the second would be for 30 million dollars a month to be given to me, tax-free in a Swiss bank account. You know, if I had three wishes I could make this holiday season, the first, of course, would be for all the children of the world to get together and sing, the second would be for the 30 million dollars every month to me, and the third would be for encompassing power over every living being in the entire universe. And if I had four wishes that I could make this holiday season, the first would be the crap about the kids definitely, the second would be for the 30 million, the third would be for all the power, and the fourth would be to set aside one month each year to have an extended 31-day orgasm, to be brought out slowly by Rosanna Arquette and that model Paulina-somebody, I can't think of her name. Of course my lovely wife can come too and she's behind me one hundred percent here, I guarantee it. Wait a minute, maybe the sex thing should be the first wish, so if I made that the first wish, because it could all go boom tomorrow, then what do you got, y'know? No, no, the kids, the kids singing would be great, that would be nice. But wait a minute, who am I kidding? They're not going to be able to get all those kids together. I mean, the logistics of the thing is impossible, more trouble than it's worth! So -- we reorganize! Here we go. First, the sex thing. We go with that. Second, the money. No, we got with the power second, then the money. And then the kids. Oh wait, oh jeez, I forgot about revenge against my enemies! Okay, I need revenge against all my enemies, they should die like pigs in hell! That would be my fourth wish. And, of course, my fifth wish would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace. Thank you everybody and Merry Christmas.


or maybe some originality....
posted by ozomatli at 8:10 PM on December 15, 2005

I'd kinda like to find a drummer who is jazzed to just rock the eff out and doesn't care about "art" or "doing something different." I don't think those usually wind up under the tree, though.
posted by uncleozzy at 8:11 PM on December 15, 2005

For my newborn son to sleep through the night. ADMIN PLEASE HOPE ME.
posted by Emperor Yamamoto's Eggs at 8:11 PM on December 15, 2005

Oh, and more frequent use of the ho tag.
posted by Emperor Yamamoto's Eggs at 8:14 PM on December 15, 2005

No more fighting.
posted by itchie at 8:20 PM on December 15, 2005

A cure for SCI, a second home in Santa Fe and a new metronome.
posted by DawnSimulator at 8:23 PM on December 15, 2005

Vagina. Lots and lots of vagina.
posted by Sagres at 8:30 PM on December 15, 2005

I'd really love to have a kitty.

Since I can't, I'd love a new pair of shoes. I finally wore out my current pair walking around in SF during this past "summer of doom." Damn, this being knock-kneed! ;)
posted by starscream at 8:30 PM on December 15, 2005

World peace, or at least a cure for TBA.
posted by Gilbert at 8:34 PM on December 15, 2005

I want a sock puppet account.
posted by sanko at 8:42 PM on December 15, 2005

BMW M5.

And what Sagres said.
posted by madman at 8:43 PM on December 15, 2005

A girlfriend. I'm 21 and I've been single all my life. I just want to be loved.
posted by Sonic_Molson at 8:47 PM on December 15, 2005

Response by poster: Oh, and more frequent use of the ho tag.

Well, I'll be dipped in reindeer... er... effluent:

Tags:
ho [x]
christmas [x]
...

Goodness, MetaFilter has devoured two of my "Ho"s! Fortunately, it appears that I can edit the tags.... there.

World peace. ... Not only world peace, but inner peace. ... World peace, or at least a cure for TBA.

I hear you there. The world peace thing is a popular wish every year. Sadly, though, it is a very fragile item -- try as I might, I have never managed to deliver even a single one to its destination, no matter how well-stocked I am when I leave the North Pole. I will of course try again this year, but I have to admit I don't expect things to turn out any differently this time. Damned clear air turbulence.
posted by Santa Claus at 8:53 PM on December 15, 2005

a pony that cooks me pancakes in the morning.
posted by kcm at 8:53 PM on December 15, 2005

Now I remember! I'd like a carton of bread, a loaf of butter and a stick of milk.
posted by Iamtherealme at 9:10 PM on December 15, 2005

An end to the Christian cancer.


Hey, you should like that one Santa, you've been marginalizing that message with your own legend for years. A jolly old fifth column; you sir are a smooth operator.

I'll just stop red-nosing. In conclusion I want socks and underwear.
posted by dgaicun at 9:11 PM on December 15, 2005

A job, or at least some interviews when I graduate.
posted by idiotfactory at 9:15 PM on December 15, 2005

New York in the 70's
Prairie Style Print Stand
Leaf in Cream + Cocoa
And I really wanted the octopus, and teru teru bozu pillows from here. But they are now sold out. I'm half hoping my girlfriend got them for me, and half knowing she didn't. This is what happens when you have a need for very limited edition hand made items.
posted by JackarypQQ at 9:15 PM on December 15, 2005

A new job. I hate my current one and I've put up with it for too long.

A new girlfriend. I never did figure out what the hell happened with/to the previous one, and I've been single for far too long.

Socks. Maybe some pants.
posted by emelenjr at 9:16 PM on December 15, 2005

Hmmm. I haven't asked Santa for anything in a long, long time. I suppose because it's been my lot for the past 30 years to *be* Santa for the rest of the family, and I've gotten pretty Grinch-ey of late, and I really don't like that part of myself very much. I'd like to have some way to be more hopeful, happy and helpful to and for the people I love.

Failing that, some new glass for my Nikon would be cool- especially the new 18-200 VR lens :)
posted by pjern at 9:16 PM on December 15, 2005

Universal health care. Cold fusion. And while we're at it, the ability to shoot lasers out of my eyes. That would be freakin cool.
posted by horsewithnoname at 9:27 PM on December 15, 2005

i'd like some well-done reindeer steaks, thank you
posted by pyramid termite at 9:34 PM on December 15, 2005

Sex!
posted by ramix at 9:35 PM on December 15, 2005

an ipod
posted by spork at 9:35 PM on December 15, 2005

horsewithnoname: "Universal health care."

you rule. I still want my pancake pony but by god I'll take that first.
posted by kcm at 9:38 PM on December 15, 2005

I want to go home for Christmas. I'm getting really tired of Louisiana.
posted by Jonasio at 9:40 PM on December 15, 2005

Less dumbass AskMe questions littering the frontpage.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 9:41 PM on December 15, 2005

oh, yeah...and prolapsed rectums and/or ebola for all my enemies.
posted by horsewithnoname at 9:52 PM on December 15, 2005

The love of a good woman. Oh wait, I already have that. Guess I'll just ask for that large bundle of non-sequential $50 bills, then....
posted by baggers at 9:53 PM on December 15, 2005

A pug puppy or inner peace. Whichever is easiest.

Give Mrs. Claus my best.
posted by deborah at 9:53 PM on December 15, 2005

A job at a law firm this summer for both me and my boyfriend so we can go loan-less for a while.

Failing that, the entire set of attachments for my Kitchenaid stand mixer.
posted by gatorae at 10:09 PM on December 15, 2005