How does one hookup with someone from easily 8-10 years ago?

August 3, 2008 5:31 PM

How does one hookup with someone from easily 8-10 years ago?

I've always wondered this as I see people here and there that I used to have a crush on back in like junior high or early high school, yet I'm just getting around to asking this now. I saw this girl that I went to school with today. She was a friend of my best friend's sister. I didn't really know her technically (10 years ago). So I broke out the yearbook after I saw her in church, looked her up on myspace/facebook and would like to talk to her with the intentions of eventually hooking up.

How does one go about doing this? Does it work at least some of the time or never? lol. My message so far to her on myspace was "Hey there. I saw you at St. Theresa's Church today. I swear you look familiar, were you in the same class as XXX's sister back at St. Ambrose?"

I think that's good enough for an intro. Not too creepy or anything. Yet, where do I go from here because technically I don't even know her?I've got like a 3rd degree of separation at best. This message goes for any situations similar too, like people you haven't seen in 4-5 years, people you barely knew but want to get to know. People you had like one class with 3 years ago, etc, lol.

-Travis

posted by isoman2kx to human relations (10 answers total)

Could you clarify your usage of "hookup"?
posted by milestogo at 5:42 PM on August 3, 2008

I'd be more straight forward, regardless of your intentions. It sounds like you're asking us to validate what you've already done since you've already posted onto her myspace page, but I have to say, you "seeing her at church" and being able to look her up sounds kind of sketchy, unless she belongs to a myspace St.TheresasChurch group (IANA myspace user) or something similar.

I'd just come out with it and say, "I was Jon's best friend and I remembered you hanging out with his sister Jane when I was at Jon's house. How's it going?"

In terms of actually hooking up . . . well, you'll have to see what happens. IMO your chances would be better if you went to the church you both go to and actually, you know, struck up a conversation with her?
posted by arnicae at 5:53 PM on August 3, 2008

Um, how do you hook up with anybody? I mean, the fact that you had a smallish degree of separation years ago is hardly very relevant to where you are now, other than that it gives you some small pretext or foot in the door for conversation (which you've already initiated).

In every other respect it's just like meeting somebody new.
posted by UbuRoivas at 6:17 PM on August 3, 2008

Go up to her and introduce yourself next time you see her at church. You'll get extra points for adopting quaint old-world customs like face-to-face contact.

Going Facebook first and trying to pull-off the 'oh, are you who I think you are?' thing is probably not going to work. It doesn't quite make sense, and she'll probably pick up on that.
posted by bluejayk at 6:21 PM on August 3, 2008

Do you mean "hookup" as in "meet", or "hookup" as in "have sex with"?
posted by oneirodynia at 6:25 PM on August 3, 2008

Yeah, I read "hook-up" to mean "have sex with," so this question is confusing to me. I don't see why it would be any different than trying to have sex with anybody, except that you have a convenient opener.

Anyway, if you do mean "have sex with" be careful that don't come across as creepy. I know that if I knew a guy was trying to get in contact with me again for the sole purpose of having sex with me, it would be weird and off-putting to me. I'm not saying your situation is unusual, but you probably shouldn't give off "I saw you in church and I think I have a chance to score with you and that's the only reason I'm talking to you" vibes.
posted by Nattie at 6:33 PM on August 3, 2008

Going Facebook first and trying to pull-off the 'oh, are you who I think you are?' thing is probably not going to work. It doesn't quite make sense, and she'll probably pick up on that.

Well, the horse has already bolted on that one, no?

And even if it doesn't quite make sense, that in itself doesn't mean it's bound to fail. As always, it's up to the recipient to judge whether it's creepy or flattering or whatever else.

The following anecdote doesn't prove much, but back in my first year of university, I found myself in a class with a girl I recognised from my sister's highschool yearbook (as being the cutest girl in the year). I wandered up after class & said something like "Hey, aren't you so-and-so, from my sister's year at school?". It couldn't have been understood as anything other than what I've described above, but she ended up driving miles out of her way after each class to drop me off at the station, so she couldn't have been very offended. It didn't result in anything more, but thinking back to it, that might have been more due to my general cluelessness than anything else.
posted by UbuRoivas at 6:49 PM on August 3, 2008

Oh. I actually meant hookup as in go out on a date. I'd forgotten hookup is synonymous with sex pretty much. Dating is what I mean.
posted by isoman2kx at 10:04 PM on August 3, 2008

Approach the woman casually at church and say hello. If she seems responsive, keep sayng hello every week and start chatting a bit. Once you get past catching up and pleasantries like, "Nice sermon today, huh?" and into real conversation mode, you can quite naturally ask her to have a beverage with you. Also it can't hurt to establish some rapport with her before you try for a date.

I've successfully hooked up with the guy I had a HUGE crush on at 15 in the, er, biblical sense;-) And he llives 500 miles from me. So take heart!
posted by orange swan at 5:37 AM on August 4, 2008

I would follow the casual non-Facebook-stalk approach suggested above.

Also, those tags are worse than useless dude.
posted by ClanvidHorse at 3:45 PM on August 4, 2008 [1 favorite]