traditional weekly spankings for children

August 23, 2004 2:01 PM

When I was little, my parents used to tell me that "in the olden days," many parents would spank their kids once a week, even though their kids hadn't been naughty. The spanking was supposedly preventative ("you'll get worse than THIS if you misbehave") or predictive ("I don't know WHAT you've done, but I'm sure you've done SOMETHING -- or you WILL do something...")

My question is: is this true? I mean, I know there are (and have been) all sorts of whack-o parents, but was there ever a general philosophy of parenting that advocated weekly spankings? My parents usually brought this up in the context of "you think YOU have it bad, well..." Were they yanking my chain? Is this an urban legend?
posted by grumblebee to Human Relations (18 answers total)

Wow. I've never heard of that one. And I read lots of ye olde books.

All I can come up with is that I seem to remember Bill Cosby or somebody like him joking in his stand-up act about parents spanking kids at random when some crime had occurred, without worrying about which kid had actually done it. But that's still not even close to what you describe. I think your parents were yanking your chain, yes.

In my family, there were 4 children, and the running joke was that there used to be 5 of us, but #5 didn't behave, and so "wasn't allowed to live to grow up."
posted by JanetLand at 2:09 PM on August 23, 2004

my parents used to tell me that "in the olden days," many parents would spank their kids once a week, even though their kids hadn't been naughty.
Seems like part of the "what will the Jones think" attitude in parenting.Sometimes parents repeat their parents, so your grandparent could have said this too. This does sounds like a tale out of the book Oliver Twist.
posted by thomcatspike at 2:18 PM on August 23, 2004

We used to joke about spanking once a day whether they needed it or not...I think it is really nothing more than a joke.
posted by konolia at 2:21 PM on August 23, 2004

"you think YOU have it bad, well..."
Feeling guilty or down about yourself because other people may think of you in a certain way, is what I call; "what the Jones think".
posted by thomcatspike at 2:24 PM on August 23, 2004

Some couples do do this. Just not with their kids. ;)
posted by onlyconnect at 2:25 PM on August 23, 2004

My dad told me stories about how his four brothers and he would get smacked no matter who caused the problem in the first place. Rather than go through the whole "no he did it!", his parents just smacked all five of them.

Also, my dad says that when he grew up it was acceptable for his neighbors to smack the kid if the kid did something "punishable".

I don't think this was common but it did happen to someone.

But for the "once a week", i haven't heard of that before.
posted by Stynxno at 2:31 PM on August 23, 2004

i have only my own anecdotal evidence: no-one i know had parents who believed this, or is a parent who engages in pre-emptive punishment.

my guess would be your parents were engaging in some private joke at your expense. . . . i know lots of parents who do that.
posted by crush-onastick at 2:33 PM on August 23, 2004

And we liked it that way! We were lucky to have spankings! We loved them! Had five spankings a day before breakfast!

It was true in my family though about the any adult/any child punishments. Whichever parent or aunt or uncle got to you first had dibs on the whuppings.

I suspect if I tried to give one of my nieces a spanking, my sister-in-law would have me arrested. Lucky for them and for my own kids, I'm a gentle disciplinarian.

But I will without hesitation threaten to a) sell a child into white slavery or b) liquidate a child's college savings and use the money to run away from home.
posted by padraigin at 3:11 PM on August 23, 2004

Once a week would have been a vacation in my family. I've never heard of pre-emptive spankings. My relatives were allowed to spank us if they were watching us, but they rarely did--never anyone non-related.
posted by amberglow at 3:44 PM on August 23, 2004

Pre-emptive spankings? Hmmm. Perhaps in the Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, and Wolfowitz families? : )
posted by weston at 3:56 PM on August 23, 2004

Never heard of this one, not even from my grandfather, who was raised in a Texas orphanage during the depression.
posted by scarabic at 4:01 PM on August 23, 2004

Hmm, maybe that was before they invented Tobasco sauce: Parents Apply Hot Sauce to a Child's Tongue as Punishment.
posted by NortonDC at 4:17 PM on August 23, 2004

Once a week if you were not naughty? I never would have needed those.
posted by caddis at 5:25 PM on August 23, 2004

It's a joke, son. Do you believe them when they tell you about trudging six miles through the snow to get to the one-room school?

Oh, and while we're at it, it won't actually solve the problem of hunger in Asia if you finish your peas.
posted by languagehat at 7:14 PM on August 23, 2004

When I was little my parents used to tell me they were going to put me back in the box they got me from if I didn't behave myself. Parents come up with all kinds of wicked ideas to mock/control their kids.
posted by croutonsupafreak at 9:12 PM on August 23, 2004

My father made the once-a-week claim. Looking at his mother (his dad died when I was 5) I can believe it. Stern lady raised in Tennesee.

When I was a kid, any adult could slap a kid that deserved it. Any adult could drag you to your house, by force, to explain to your folks your ill deeds.

I have to say, I think the old ways were, in most regards, superior. Our crimes were smaller and mostly less harmful to anyone. And we learned much better skills at sneaking. Today's kids tend to be out of control and worthless at the survival skill of sneaking.
posted by Goofyy at 1:32 AM on August 24, 2004

My mother would tell a story that one year at school on the last day of term the teacher stood up and asked if any of the girls in her class had not had reason to be caned for misbehaviour over the whole year. Thinking (perhaps foolishly) that there would be some reward for their good behaviour my mother and two other girls put their hands up. They were called to the front of the class and caned as "they had probably got away with something". Nuns eh? Don't you love 'em?

When I was a kid... Any adult could drag you to your house, by force, to explain to your folks your ill deeds.

You wouldn't do this now if you caught some kid up to something? Say robbing/damaging your stuff?
posted by biffa at 2:36 AM on August 24, 2004

You wouldn't do this now if you caught some kid up to something? Say robbing/damaging your stuff?

Certainly I would, but I would be opening myself up to that kid's parents laying into me for interfering. And depending on the level of that force, I might be inviting a lawsuit.

Oh, I wish I were kidding.

I have frequent cause to snap at the kids who live on the other side of the back fence, and I do believe those little shits snuck into my yard and picked all the tiny avocados off my tree in retaliation.

Kids no longer feel shame when they're caught being naughty, they feel anger and vengeance.
posted by padraigin at 9:57 AM on August 24, 2004