Can you burp the alphabet?

August 6, 2004 5:09 PM

EructationFilter! One has often heard tell of people who can burp the entire alphabet. But has anyone got firsthand experience? Because try as we may, my SO and I can't get past "C".

"Archaeology", "Aardvark" and "Architect" are also faves. But we seem to have a 3-syllable limit.

posted by i_am_joe's_spleen to Grab Bag (17 answers total)

I knew a guy who could do it after chugging beer.

I totally parsed that first word wrong in your FPP. Now I'm slightly disappointed.
posted by cmonkey at 5:34 PM on August 6, 2004

This'll be a great thread for the eating-noise haters among us.
posted by zadcat at 5:40 PM on August 6, 2004

If you guys get married, I so want to crash the reception.
posted by Vidiot at 5:49 PM on August 6, 2004

I've known several people who could do this, but it's important to not that they all basically needed to "load up" beforehand. Some of them chugged soda, and others just basically swallowed air, but they all had to do something to get air pressure in their bellies. A lot of them would actually need to do this more than once, stopping every few letters to re-pressurize.

What it comes down to is that "making yourself burp" is the real skill. Once you figure out a way to build up a head of steam, you can belch out whatever you want--for what that's worth. (I just think it's great that that's how you guys spend your time. She's a keeper.)
posted by LairBob at 5:50 PM on August 6, 2004

_{Oops.."it's important to note..."}
posted by LairBob at 5:51 PM on August 6, 2004

If you mean all in one breath, then yeah that sounds impossible. But multiple breaths, I could do it.
posted by falconred at 6:11 PM on August 6, 2004

I managed to get as far as K just then, in one breath. If I'd just drunk loads of beer or coke, I bet I could do it.
posted by reklaw at 7:26 PM on August 6, 2004

Yeah, I just tested it right here, without any soda pop or anything, and got up to H. Whaddaya mean you can't get past "C"? Didn't you take Voluntary Burping in junior high?
posted by soyjoy at 7:55 PM on August 6, 2004

I knew a guy in grade school who could burp the whole alphabet. Was always a fun activity to break up the mundaneness of class.
Now, my older brother's dating a chick who can pull of the same feat. She does this weird thing where she breaths air in a way that allows her to let out the burps that would make my grandmother cry.
I, on the otherhand, could only wish for the ability to burp on cue.
posted by jmd82 at 8:51 PM on August 6, 2004

IANASLP. I've heard it called esophageal speech used by people after their larynx has been removed: but I think you might know that already. I knew a speech pathologist who could speak with esophageal speech. I think that was the only way he could teach his patients. (He could stutter, lisp, slur, speak atonally...) "There is esophageal speech. It's the least common method but the most natural. It's the hardest to master, taking months to learn. " I think I remember him saying you could, with practice, produce a sentence per burp. I think the average person speaks a sentence with one breath so I think it should be similar with this method. And releasing the air slowly, too. Burps come out fast and you have to slow down the release.

(There's that scene from Farley Mowat's book where he watches a wolf mark territory. He writes about using enough to get your task done but not wasting it and having to re-fuel.)

Maybe you could view videos in the libraries of the speech pathology or cancer departments at your local university?
posted by philfromhavelock at 9:41 PM on August 6, 2004

The secret for prolonged eructation in my younger days was Fizzies. Swallow a couple, drink a little water, and you'd better burp or you're in serious trouble.
posted by skyscraper at 11:00 PM on August 6, 2004

Response by poster: I guess we've assumed that one burp is a pre-requisite.

So the consensus is that it's, and I quote Kathy here, "a series of sustained fake burps"?
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 2:27 AM on August 7, 2004

Response by poster: Damnit, she got up to "T" that way. And a "Baudrillard". Clearly I have a lot to learn.
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 2:28 AM on August 7, 2004

So the consensus is that it's, and I quote Kathy here, "a series of sustained fake burps"?

Or one big burp, fake or otherwise. A mother of all burps.

Go chug a can of coke while sitting down or reclining. Wait for yer tummy to inflate -- don't worry, it will. Then stand up. Within a minute or so you'll release a 10--30 second belch that will horrify you as you emit it.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 6:45 AM on August 7, 2004

Okay, the big trick is that you surreptitiously breathe in through your nose and swallow air as you go as burp fuel. Takes practice.
Similar to the circular breathing sort of thing that Kenny G does to hold those notes, only not nearly as offensive.
posted by dong_resin at 10:38 AM on August 7, 2004

BTW, I haven't been able to it since I was eight, so your mileage may vary.
posted by dong_resin at 10:40 AM on August 7, 2004

"fake burping" is the only way I've ever seen this.
posted by rudyfink at 2:47 PM on August 7, 2004