What can I do about online slander?

May 23, 2008 8:00 AM

Looking for advice on a situation involving online slander (?)....

My husband and I both had previous marriages, with children involved, that ended in difficult divorces. (We met after our divorces.) I co-parent my son with my ex-husband and from time to time we run into problems- I recently found a support group for divorced/ divorcing parents on the web and I asked to join in hopes of learning more about how to co-parent while still struggling with custody issues and all the things that caused the end of the marriage to begin with.

Coincidence- when I was allowed to access the site and search the posts, I discovered that one of the founding members is my husband's ex-wife. She is saying terrible, damaging things and not unoccasionally telling complete lies about my husband and posting his full name as well as his contact information. She has also posted my full name and contact information.

The members of this group are mostly from my metro area- so, it's kind of a small world. This could conceivably, at a minimum, negatively impact my husband's profession as well as mine. What else it could do- I'm afraid to speculate...

I don't know what to do, if anything. I am considering consulting a lawyer.

Thoughts?

posted by InstantSanitizer to grab bag (8 comments total)

The very first thing you should do is get the moderator to delete any reference to real names and contact information. They shouldn't have allowed that in the first place.
posted by Koko at 8:18 AM on May 23 [1 favorite]

Start making records. Take screenshots, and email them to yourself and your husband.
posted by mkultra at 8:20 AM on May 23

"I am considering consulting a lawyer."

Do that, then do what the lawyer tells you to do.
posted by toomuchpete at 8:47 AM on May 23 [1 favorite]

Your husband should contact his divorce attorney. This isn't productive for their shared custody arrangement. The attorney can advise you on how to capture the online posts for evidence.

This is one of those times when you are going to need to involve your attorney.
posted by 26.2 at 9:02 AM on May 23

Lawyer. At the very least you're going to need a proper cease-and-desist letter.

(Point of correction: if it's written it's libel not slander.)
posted by Hogshead at 10:01 AM on May 23

Hodshead beat me to it. I remember it this way, libel/letter and slander/spoken
posted by Carbolic at 10:43 AM on May 23 [1 favorite]

IAAL.

Before you go to a lawyer, print out every bad posting and bring it along. Defamation is very fact-specific, and when you file a lawsuit, you almost always have to include the exact words.

Your husband's ex is obviously so angry at him that she can't keep it in. Nothing you can do is very likely to make her quit.

Damages for defamation aren't easy to prove. You need statements from people who read the messages that they won't do business with you or your husband. For stress and health claims, you'll need specific diagnoses from a doctor that it was due to the the defamation and required medical treatment.

Remember also that a lawsuit gives the defendant more publicity, which is just what she wants.

It's unlikely that any lawyer would take a defamation case on a contingent fee (where the lawyer is paid out of amount recovered against the defendant), particularly where the defendant doesn't have "deep pockets." I certainly wouldn't. Instead, you can expect to pay hourly fees, at several hundred dollars an hour.

I agree with Koko that the first thing to do is contact the website, explain what's happening and request that they delete the posts and monitor further posts or bar the ex-wife from the site. I also agree with Hogshead that a cease-and-desist letter from a lawyer is the first legal step.

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NOW, take a deep breath and ask yourself whether it's a good idea to take "legal steps" at all. Has your reputation has actually been harmed? Call or email friendly people on the board, explain things and ask how they feel. You'll probably get more sympathy than blame, and pressure from people on the board may help stop the attacks.
posted by KRS at 10:52 AM on May 23

Thx for clarification on libel vs. slander... can never remember... never thought I'd be dealing w/ it...


Deep breathing....
posted by InstantSanitizer at 11:05 AM on May 23