when does a wise man quit?
April 13, 2008 6:59 PM Subscribe
Background: I am 41 years old. I am 16 credits shy of graduating with a BS in Mathemathics. my GPA is 2.79, I have over 250 hours of attempted coursework, 144 of that is being counted towards my degree. I program and design software systems for a living.
The Problem: I really love math and computer science but I am lousy at learning. when I say lousy I mean slow.
posted by WannaBeAPhD to Education (24 answers total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
It is an all or nothing proposition for me I am either a master of the material or I do not know it. When I have to study I experience psychosomatic symptoms, irritability, out of body experience, confusion, trouble concentrating. This has been happening since I was a child, I have a real aversion to studying, and it has gotten worse now in my adult years. I was diagnosed with ADHD about 8 months ago. The metadate works somewhat well to clear up the fog but when I have to study hard nothing helps.
I can perform my job well but that usually does not require me to think of the formal methods or theory about my job unless I am really pushing what I want to get implemented. To do my job I have self educated over the years I have read a large number of books because of interest in the material and the need to do my job.
I get bored at work doing repetitive tasks or tasks that don't require me to innovate or do research. I've just about reached the point where I have to become a bureacrat. I want to be able to continue to innovate, research and learn and I really want to study and become a PhD. There are jobs out there that I would qualify for if only I had a little more education adn the title. If money were no object I would simply study and take as long as I needed to in educating myself. That luxury is not available to me.
Is it wise for me to continue dreaming this way or should I simply accept my limitations and give up hope. I do fear that giving up hope will severely shorten my life. When I think of it I can feel the emotion build up. What does a wise man do when faced with the reality that he may never be what he has always wanted to be?